[00:00:00] Christine: Hey friends. Welcome back to the milspouse mastermind show. Today. I am sharing my conversation with Lizann Lightfoot, who is known as the Seasoned Spouse. Lizann is the wife of a Marine, a mom of five, and professional writer for military publications. She recently released her book, Open When: Letters of Encouragement for Military Spouses.

[00:00:26] We’re going to talk about her journey as a military spouse and what led her to start her The Seasoned Spouse blog, and ultimately to write this book to encourage military spouses. It’s a great conversation. We talk a lot about the journey of military spouse life, all of the ebbs and flows and ups and downs that come with being a spouse for many, many years. And you are going to get so much out of this conversation. So let’s dive into the show.

Before we dive into my conversation with Lizann, I have two very exciting pieces of news to share. Number one, you know, by now that I have been working so hard to bring the MilSpouse Purpose Playbook to you and the sales page is finally live! So much blood, sweat, and tears that went into getting to this point in the course. The course is going to release on November 1st, but you can go ahead, go to milspouse mastermind.com/clarity

[00:02:21] You can see the sales page and you can actually go ahead and purchase the course. Now this is for my loyal podcast listeners. I am opening up spots to be on the launch team for the milspouse purpose playbook. Now, what does that mean? That means the first five people to head over and purchase milspouse purpose playbook will get the course at 50% off.

[00:02:55] Yes. Half off the price of the course. The first five people that purchase it before the course launches. What I’m asking of you is to give me a testimonial in exchange for getting this course at half off the price when it launches on November 1st. So first five people to purchase the course between now and October 31^st will get this amazing offer.

[00:03:24] I would love for you to be a part of my launch team, to get to be the first to access the course, to be one of our first testimonials. And most importantly, to give me feedback about how I can continue to make this course better and give you the information that you need to find your purpose to thrive as a military spouse and to build a life you love today, regardless of what season of life you’re in, what your circumstances look like today.

[00:03:57] I truly believe that each of us can find purpose. We can make a contribution that matters and chase our dreams. And we can do it in a way that doesn’t require us to sacrifice our sanity and our well-being and time with our family. This is everything that I wanted as a new military spouse to figure out.

[00:04:21] How do I thrive? How do I actually do the things that light me? And make a difference and do it in the middle of the unpredictability of military life. I can’t wait to share this with you. So if you want to be a part of our lunch team, be one of the first five people to head over to milspousemastermind.com/clarity and pre-order.

[00:04:43] I’m so excited to embark on this journey with you. Now, the second thing I need to let you know is that Lizann will be giving away a free copy of her new book, Open When: Letters of Encouragement for Military Spouses, to one member of our audience. So stay tuned to the end of this episode, to hear how to enter to win that drawing.

[00:05:08] Okay. Without further ado, let’s dive into my conversation with Lizann Lightfoot. Well, welcome back to the milspouse mastermind show. Today we have a very special guest with us. Lizann Lightfoot, who is known as the Seasoned Spouse is our special guest today. Welcome Lizann.

[00:05:28] LizAnn: Hello, thanks so much for having me on.

[00:05:30] Christine: I’m so excited to get to talk with you and hear more about your story. So, um, I would love it if you would just kind of give us a little bit about your story and what you do and everything that’s led up to what you do today.

[00:05:43] LizAnn: Sure. The, the short, summarized version, I’m a Marine Corps spouse. We’ve been married about 14 years. Um, together for 21 years. We have five kids, uh, six PCS moves, and seven deployments together. So it has definitely been a long journey. But in the past few years I’ve been working as a professional freelancer, specializing in reaching the military community. And most recently I have written a book for the milspouse community called Open When: Letters of Encouragement for military spouses.

[00:06:18] Christine: Well, I’m so excited to get to unpack all of this with you. Talk to me a little bit about your journey as a military spouse and getting started. You said you’ve been together with your husband for 21 years. How did you meet and were you knowledgeable about the military when you got started on this journey?

[00:06:38] LizAnn: No, we met pre-military. I did not come from a military family or background at all. So it wasn’t on my radar. We were both 19 years old, no 18 years old. We had both just graduated from high school. I was a lifeguard at the community pool that his family had just moved into that neighborhood.

[00:07:01] So we met at the pool and we dated for a full year before he had even talked about the military. And the short version is that he was originally going to join the police academy. There was some paperwork issues with his application and they said, it’s fine. Come back next year and we’ll make sure that we streamline your application.

[00:07:16] And he said, I don’t want to wait another year. So he went to the Marine recruiter’s office and here we are at 20 years, at least.

[00:07:26] Christine: So, what was your first impression when he told you, Hey, this is what I’m going to do?

[00:07:31] LizAnn: I was definitely nervous and confused and had a million questions. Like I said, I, it was not in my background at all.

[00:07:38] And at the time we had been dating for about a year, so we were serious, but we weren’t engaged. We weren’t married, you know, so I didn’t quite feel at that point that I had a real say in his career choice and in his future. And if this is something that he was passionate about and wanted to do. I felt that I had to educate myself and learn about it, but I couldn’t really put my foot down and say, no, I don’t want you to go.

[00:08:01] So, um, he went to bootcamp, my sophomore year of college and I did college and he did bootcamp and then he did two or three back-to-back deployments to Iraq. And it was just kind of this whirlwind, uh, roller coaster, you know, giant learning curve, trying to figure out everything on the fly. A very confusing and unsupported time because the internet existed, I’m not that old, but social media was not what it is today.

[00:08:32] And as a girlfriend who was not in the spouse community, I definitely felt that, you know, all the resources were for spouses and I just, I didn’t belong and I didn’t relate to them. And I didn’t really know any other military girlfriends or spouses. Definitely a very confusing and frustrating few years.

[00:08:52] Christine: So if he was deployed, were you living at college or back home, or were you kind of in the spouse community? Where were you at this time?

[00:09:03] LizAnn: I was in college in Washington, DC. He was stationed in 29 Palms, California. So nowhere my, my family was on the east coast as well. So even after I graduated, we had initially planned to be married, but because of the deployments and because of 29 Palms, I didn’t want to move out there.

[00:09:21] And so I actually stayed close to family and got my first post-college job living in my own apartment in the DC area. And finally told him that if you ever get orders back to the east coast, I will marry you. But it was a long time.

[00:09:36] Christine: That’s so interesting to hear. I’d love to know what kind of resources, if any, that you had at that point. If you weren’t really connected into the military community, did you have anybody that was speaking into you and giving you any insights to military?

[00:09:53] LizAnn: Unfortunately, no, not really. I think, you know, he might’ve introduced me to one, either wife or girlfriend when I flew out for a military ball, and we hung out for a weekend and then I flew back home. So we didn’t really have any connection. There was one other girl in my college that was dating a Marine long distance.

[00:10:13] Hers was in Japan. I remember. So we had a little bit of a connection, but really other than that, no. It didn’t feel like there were any websites or any books or anyone to really explain what was happening. Now I know that there’s things like, you know, the family readiness community and people that should be contacting you, you can be put on email lists and phone list and social media groups.

[00:10:36] But I don’t think he even knew about those at the time. And didn’t think to put me on those lists as a girlfriend, I didn’t have that contact. And I think that’s why I’ve always been so passionate about supporting the significant others and the spouses in those early years of just trying to figure everything out.

[00:10:54] Christine: Yeah. I mean, we’ve only been together for 13 years, I guess, at this point. But I mean, even in that time, it’s amazing how much things have evolved as far as there being resources available. I remember, you know, my first assignment, you know, we didn’t even have spouse Facebook group. And his first deployment, when we were dating, it was still like that one phone call a week.

[00:11:19] So it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long in some senses, but I’m so glad that there are so many more resources available right now. And you know, that’s why podcasts like this exist so that we’re providing information for those in the military community.

[00:11:36] LizAnn: Yes, it’s so needed.

[00:11:38] Christine: Absolutely. So tell me about your next step in your story.

[00:11:43] LizAnn: If you fast forward a bit, I spent some time unemployed. I spent some time as a stay at home mom. I had several babies very quickly back to back. We did an assignment overseas. I had actually earned my master’s online right before the overseas assignment, hoping that I’d be able to work at the next duty station.

[00:12:03] But when we were stationed in Spain, I couldn’t. So it wasn’t until we came to California in 2016. We had already been married for a while, eight years, I think at that point. And it kind of sunk in. This was the fourth duty station. And I was realizing that the pattern of unemployment that, you know, nothing was going to change unless I made the change myself. There was never going to be a convenient, local job that would work with my hours and work with his hours.

[00:12:34] For children at the time. So being stationed in California, I knew that I needed something flexible. I needed the toddler to be able to stay home with me, because I could not afford childcare. And I just needed some way to be able to contribute to the finances. And that’s why I started with freelance writing.

[00:12:50] I’d always enjoyed writing. I had d a little bit of experience running a blog before when we lived overseas and enjoyed that, enjoyed interacting with people, and being able to solve their problems and answer their questions and, you know, just make their lives a little bit easier. So I started my seasoned spouse blog and worked extensively writing for the military community for several years.

[00:13:13] And the whole reason I initially started the blog was because I wanted to write a book and I had the idea that you needed to have a blog and a social media presence, before you could publish a book. But I kind of lost sight of that for a couple of years. And I just loved the freelance writing so much.

[00:13:29] I spent a lot of time writing articles and had a very full writing schedule, as much as I could handle as a mom with little ones. And the book idea kind of got put on the back burner until I’d been writing professionally for several years and he was deployed again. And. The greatest ideas, I guess, come when he’s deployed.

[00:13:52] So I finally wanted to write a book that would encourage and inspire the military spouse community, but I knew it had to be in very short sections, because I only had a little bit of time to sit down. It couldn’t be a real chapter book. And I had this idea of just writing open when letters that military spouses could open when they needed to read something specific. Something encouraging, something that applied to whatever they were going through right in that moment.

[00:14:18] Christine: It’s so great to hear how you walk through all of these steps and in your story and talk about these different seasons. Like number one, getting to that place where you’re like, Hey, there’s something I’m not contributing in some way.

[00:14:33] And realizing that this is not going to be easy. When you became a stay-at-home mom, at what point did you feel like, Hey, I’m just feeling like there’s this piece of me that’s missing. What do I do about that?

[00:14:49] LizAnn: I think it took a few years. I was still working full-time when I had the first baby and, you know, we did childcare with her and it wasn’t until he got orders to move to a bit more remote duty station that we realized there weren’t that many jobs for me.

[00:15:03] And we agreed that I would stay home. We just had the one baby at first, but while we were there, we added two more, very quickly. So my first kids were all born within four years of each other. And during that time, I didn’t have a lot of time to feel personally unsatisfied or whatever. I didn’t have a lot of time to do anything.

[00:15:22] It wasn’t until we lived overseas and the kids got into at least preschool and I had a little bit more time on my hands and I started seeking out some type of employment option and found out it’s very restrictive being an American living overseas. So even if you wanted to work, you couldn’t necessarily do that.

[00:15:42] So I think the desire kind of grew as the children grew. And once I kind of had a little bit more time available to think about my abilities. And what are my passions? What did I always want to do and been good at? And it was something besides being a stay-at-home mom. So I still do that. I still am very good at being a mom, but, it’s very rewarding and fulfilling to pursue that passion and be able to contribute to the community in another way. And to share my writing too

[00:16:11]. Christine: How old are your kids now?

LizAnn: The oldest is 13, then 11, 10, 7, and we added another one. She’s two.

[00:16:22] Christine: So you got the whole spectrum now.

LizAnn: Yeah. There’s, there’s a lot going on all the time, toddlers to teenagers.

[00:16:26] Christine: So what was it about writing that you were drawn to?

[00:16:31] LizAnn: I think there’s a lot of great things about it. I mean, I’ve always been a writer. It’s therapeutic for me. I’m someone that enjoys journaling and, you know, I wrote tons of letters to my husband all throughout his career, bootcamp and deployments, and anytime that we were apart, so that’s definitely, my love language is writing. Um, but I think aside from it just being refreshing and therapeutic, it also is very rewarding for a mom to, first of all, you get to speak and no one interrupts you because it’s a published article and people are actually listening.

[00:17:05] So there’s definitely something that makes you feel worthwhile and valued. And you can put your time into researching an article and capturing someone’s short story. And sharing it in a way that no one else has really ever seen or appreciated. And it’s sort of a new way of bringing something into the world, besides children, that you’re creating something new and something that can be celebrated.

[00:17:29] Christine: Yes. So what I would love to know is kind of how you started writing. You get this idea that, Hey, you know, I think I’d like to write what was the steps that you went through to really start becoming a freelancer.

[00:17:45] LizAnn: That’s a good question because it is a little bit of a difficult journey. And like I said, I had the idea when my husband was deployed.

[00:17:53] So I had some experience with a blog before, but it was purely a hobby, you know, pleasure blog. I wasn’t making any money from it. Just something to share our adventures with family and friends. And I had talked to my husband while he was deployed and said, you know, I think I want to write for military spouses.

[00:18:09] I’ve had a lot of people in the community coming and asking questions, and I just want to have a place where I can write articles and answer their questions and help them. But if I do it correctly, it needs to be, you know, an actual professional blog. I want it to be from the beginning, something that I’m going to put the time and the investment into.

[00:18:27] And I want it to be treated as a business, even if I’m not making any money from it. And I was really dragging my feet. I’m not someone that loves spending money, honestly. So I was really bogging at the idea of, you know, paying for a website. Why would I do that when I don’t even know if anyone would read it.

[00:18:44] And it was my husband who encouraged me, he was like, absolutely, you need to do that. Like, even if it doesn’t make any money, if this is your hobby and something that is fulfilling to you, then buy the website, like pay for the domain, do what you have to do. So I did that. Um, then I had to. Do a lot of research and watch a lot of YouTube videos and figure out how to run a website and run social media.

[00:19:07] Because at the time, um, all of the social media that we now have existing. This was about five years ago, but I wasn’t actively using all of it. I kind of was just a middle-aged mom, Facebook user, I guess. So I had to branch out and teach myself Instagram and Twitter and all the things. And from there, I think I spent about four or five months just writing on my blog, which was, um, only really being shared within our unit spouse group of the deployed spouse.

[00:19:38] But at the time I was using that blogging account to interact with much bigger names in the military space. So I started following all the other major military blogs and reading all the other articles that people were publishing and writing and following the websites that were paying people to write for them.

[00:19:53] And I think as I interacted with them and, you know, commented and liked and followed their things that someone started paying attention to me and it was about four or five months after I’d started writing. When I got my first offer to do a freelance article and I was so excited and spent a ridiculous amount of time on it.

[00:20:13] And it was my one paid article that month. So if you’re trying to recoup your costs at a rapid rate than freelance writing is not the way to go. But that one article kind of was a foot in the door. Something I could put on a resume. To pitch other articles. I eventually got a steady job with that same company where they were paying me to write an article a day for about six months.

[00:20:37] I did a weekly batch of articles for them. And so it just kind of grew from there. As I established myself in the community, people liked my style. They liked what I was writing. I made sure that the work was clean and delivered on time and all of that. And that that’s really the beginning. It’s grown from there.

[00:20:55] Christine: So at what point was it before you started your blog or within those first few months that you really said, I want this to turn into a book.

[00:21:05] LizAnn: It was later. I think it was a good year or so into it. I knew I wanted to write a book, but I didn’t have a clear concept. And I think even some of the concepts that I had initially, I scrapped them because they required just too much time, too much research.

[00:21:21] It was not a project that I was ready to take on at that stage. And so when I had the idea to write these letters, that’s when everything clicked into place for me. And I remember just being in my bedroom during this deployment, kind of like staring at the foot of the bed and saying, oh, I could write one letter at a time.

[00:21:39] That’s something I can actually do. It’s not much longer than writing a blog post. And so I will say that my book is not a collection of blog posts. You have to write in an entirely different style. Everything had to be redone and revised to actually be put into a book. But the principles that I had learned when I was writing my blog, all of the feedback and the conflict and the emotion that I’d received from my readers over the years, I think that became really good research grounds to truly understand the community, truly understand what challenges are they facing.

[00:22:15] These letters are much bigger than just me. It’s not about my experience and what, you know, my husband’s military career was, but it’s truly something that I hope will reach all military spouses and really relate to everyone. So the book and the blog had to kind of develop simultaneously.

[00:22:34] Which was exhausting, but it’s very rewarding when they compliment each other that way.

[00:22:40] Christine: What I love about this story, we talk a lot on our podcast about pursuing clarity of purpose and how, when you take that one step, then you get more insight into what that next step is supposed to be. And you don’t necessarily know where you’re headed, you just know what that next step is.

[00:22:58] And so for you starting that blog and taking that action to write the blog post, you’re getting more information. And so then you get this idea to write a book, but you don’t know what the book is supposed to be. You just know that there’s this dream. And as we take action, and as we pursue our purpose, we get that greater clarity and we start to see how these pieces fall into place.

[00:23:21] And so I love you sharing your story. I actually started blogging before I ever started the podcast. I was blogging, not consistently at all. It was just kind of like, okay, this is what I feel like my next step is supposed to be. And then I got to that point where I was like, okay, who am I talking to? Do they have time to read a blog?

[00:23:40] Probably not. I listen to podcasts when I’m driving and when I’m doing laundry or cooking dinner, like who I’m talking to is also probably having the time to listen to podcasts more than read a blog. And so I love how things just kind of evolve as we take that next step. So. I’d love for you to talk kind of when you got this concept for, Hey, I’m going to write this book and it’s going to be this series of letters.

[00:24:07] How did you go about figuring out like, okay, what are all the pieces that I want to be a part of this book?

[00:24:13] LizAnn: Yeah, it’s it is a long process. And I think initially, because so much of my experience with writing and with military life in general was very focused on deployment. My husband has been through seven deployments and I think it was during the seventh when I finally had the blog and the book concept.

[00:24:32] So a lot of the initial letters that I proposed were about deployments. And I needed a little bit of encouragement from my editor to branch out and cover, you know, the other elements of military life. So I was very comfortable. I had like 20 letters about deployment and maybe three about PCS moves. And she said, no, no, no.

[00:24:51] We need to balance these. So it was a combination of just reflecting on some of my own personal experiences, talking to these bounces in my deployment support group, I’ve been running a Facebook group for deployment support for about three years now. And we have 7,000 members in the group. So thinking about the questions from them that just come up again and again, that a lot of them apply to all parts of military life.

[00:25:16] You know, you can be anxious and jealous and disappointed at any point, it doesn’t have to be because of a deployment. And so we have a whole section of the book about those military ups and downs and sort of the rollercoaster of this lifestyle that you don’t have to necessarily be in a certain stage or a certain part of military life to be feeling those emotions.

[00:25:39] But we broke it into five sections. The very first section is for the newest spouses. So it’s all those questions you had in the beginning about, you know, everything I needed to figure out on my own that I wished someone had been telling me. About when you first visit a military base, or you go to your first military ball, or you’re thinking about marrying a service member.

[00:25:59] So all of those new things are in the very first section. And then there’s the section on the ups and downs and rollercoaster of life. There’s a section on PCS moves and deployments. And then I wanted to make sure that the final section spoke to the seasoned spouses, which to me is not an age, but it’s really just a reflection of experience in your military life journey.

[00:26:22] And I think that those spouses at a later stage that are getting closer to military. They have their own challenges, but they’re very different from the ones that you’re facing when you’re the brand new starry-eyed military spouse. And I wanted to speak to people who are just tired, worn out from military life and maybe losing their own identity after having been a military spouse for 15-20 years.

[00:26:45] And so the whole last section is to those seasons spouses to kind of meet them where they are and offer some encouragement at the very tail end of the military journey.

[00:26:54] Christine: I love how it embraces all aspects of the journey, because I mean, there’s really no other way you can say it, it is that it is a journey and we go through all of these different seasons.

[00:27:07] You know, my husband was already in when we got married and so I kind of. There are time dating kind of knew a little bit what I was getting into, but even just starting to PCS with him, you know, brought on a bunch of new challenges that we hadn’t faced before, and starting a family, because before kids, I could still kind of find my own thing, you know?

[00:27:31] Job hunting was hard. There was some way that I could volunteer or get involved. And then having, I had my three in just under four years. So then it’s like, okay, like I don’t have free time anymore. How do I still find myself and what I’m supposed to be doing? So I love how it embraces all aspects of the journey.

[00:27:53] What do you feel like for you has been the most challenging part of the military lifestyle?

[00:28:00] LizAnn: The whole life. I don’t know. I think there have been just a lot of surprises along the way, and there’s certainly some things that have caught me off guard. I think maybe the overall. Continuing thread of difficulty is just the unpredictability, the unsteadiness.

[00:28:19] I am someone who likes structure and I like to plan and I liked to be organized and I’m not even on the like obsessive compulsive degree. I just want a little bit of order and structure in my life. And the military does not allow that there’s so many surprise deployments and surprise PCS moves. And just kidding, you’re not going to live in that time zone anymore.

[00:28:42] We’re going to put you all the way over here. So there has been so much just adapt and be flexible and take things in stride as they come. And I think sure, in some ways I’ve adapted and I’ve learned to do that, and I’m very strong and flexible at the same time, but I think it does take its toll also.

[00:28:59] And I never want younger spouses to look at older, more experienced spouses and say, oh, well, they make everything look easy. So it must just get easier as you get older, because it really doesn’t. It’s just that you learn more coping mechanisms and you have a better support network and things like that.

[00:29:16] Christine: What’s been your favorite part of this journey as a military spouse?

[00:29:22] LizAnn: Probably sharing all of the surprises and adventures that I’ve just mentioned. The positive side is that I share them with my husband. And our children, but mostly just, I think that we make a wonderful team and it is very exciting to be on this journey with him and to be encouraging and supporting each other.

[00:29:40] As we go through this life, I definitely would not have written the book without his encouragement and support. He would actually take all of the kids out of the house on Saturday mornings so that I could sit down and write. And, I hope that I’m equally supportive of, of his career choices and all of his passions. It is fulfilling to be doing it together. And I think it’s something we can look back on and, and be proud of.

[00:30:04] Christine: That’s amazing. So is he still active?

[00:30:08] LizAnn: Yes. He just reached 20 years and it looks like we have 22 total that we’re aiming for. So just a little bit  left.

[00:30:17] Christine: So what was your inspiration for kind of talking to that season spouse on the other end, did you have people that you were talking to about what it was like to transition out? What was that process?

[00:30:31] LizAnn: Yes. I think originally we thought that he would do 20 years. And so that would mean he would have been retiring right now, actually. So it’s a little weird that we’re still active. He got promoted last year and that’s why we had to stay for the extra. But I think starting a few years ago, I started paying attention a little bit more when people were talking about retirement or kind of murmuring about the challenges of that transition and post retirement life.

[00:30:57] I’ve heard military spouses say. If my service member retired, does that still make me a military spouse or retiree spouse, or what do I even call myself? So I think there is definitely a bit of an identity crisis. And I started hearing that again and again, and paying attention to it because some people throw themselves into the military identity more than others, but when you start seeing themes across all the branches and different women and, um, and men and different careers and all that.

[00:31:29] You realize this might be a challenge that a lot of people are facing. So I did start interviewing people about the challenges of having older children, that your kids are going off to college and, um, your service members leaving the military, and that leaves you feeling like you don’t know who you are or what you’re supposed to be doing right now.

[00:31:47] And I was beginning to enter a little bit of that stage myself with just the exhaustion of move after move and so many deployments. And, you know, you can only be flexible and pivot so many times. And I think I reached a duty station where he was very happy in his career and his advancement path and his unit command was so small that there was actually very few other Marine spouses in that group.

[00:32:13] And I just felt like it was kind of an empty lonely part of military spousal life. For me, that all the moms that were my age had kids in school and everyone just kind of stays in their house and there’s no more play dates. There’s no more hanging out at the park and everyone’s kind of going off on their own separate career paths.

[00:32:30] And it’s wonderful to see people following their dreams and doing that at that part of life. But I think it’s also very lonely when people realize that they’re working from home, you know, just by themselves independently, all day long. So I think the season’s fast is, are looking still for those connections and that support.

[00:32:48] They just, maybe aren’t so vocal about it and don’t know where to seek it out.

[00:32:52] Christine: Yeah. I mean, it’s definitely, I’m still kind of in that stage of littles and play dates. And, but I can also see, because as I have transitioned more to working from home, you know, I’m not out at every play date, I’m spending more of my time indoors. And it does make it more challenging to make those connections and build those relationships because just by nature of military life and just human life in general, it takes time to create relationships and build those deep friendships. So I appreciate you speaking to that. I know that when, you know, we’ve talked about at what point my husband gets out, but then I’m so used to moving every few years.

[00:33:36] I’m like, could I actually stay in one spot for more than a few years? Or would I get that urge to like, okay, it’s time to move somewhere.

[00:33:46] LizAnn: Right. And then you’re, you’re suddenly faced with the fact that, we reached a point where we were actually responsible for our decisions. We could no longer blame the next PCS or the next house on the military, because at some point we were choosing where we would retire and whether or not to buy a house.

[00:34:03] And that was a large amount of pressure to take on when, for years, we’ve kind of just, you know, we’ve gone where we were sent and we’ve taken the housing that was offered to us. It’s a very different stage of life, for sure.

[00:34:15] Christine: So your book comes out when?

[00:34:19] LizAnn: Next week on September 21st.

[00:34:22] Christine: Congratulations. What, what does that feel like for you?

[00:34:27] LizAnn: It’s so exciting. Um, it’s also just, I think it’s been such a long journey. I started writing it several years ago and the editing process alone is about a year. And I think I did my final edits in November of 2020. So it’s still been almost a year since I finished editing. And just the process of putting a book out into the world is, is very long and labored.

[00:34:52] So it does feel a little bit like celebrating. Maybe it’s an exaggeration, but it feels a little bit like the birth of a child without the pain and without all the struggle, but that I have worked for a long time to grow this. And now it’s something that I’m really excited to share with our community and that I’m proud of.

[00:35:11] Christine: You’re finally bringing it into the world. I know it has to feel amazing. I am curious how once you had that concept for what this book is and what it’s going to be about, how did you go about turning that into an actual book? How did, did you reach out to a publisher? Did you have someone reach out to you?

[00:35:29] How did you start once you had that dream? And once you had that clarity on what that was supposed to look like, how did you start that?

[00:35:38] LizAnn: I might not be the best example because mine was a little bit atypical. I did start writing my manuscript first without really telling anyone. And no one knew about it.

[00:35:49] I was just at home, working on this concept. And I had all these ideas from my blog, and sometimes I would transfer a blog title over to my word document where I was writing my book and then have to start a completely new chapter using the themes of the blog. But like I said, it has to be written in a completely different style.

[00:36:08] So I was doing that for about a year and it turned out that my publisher called me out of the blue. I had been recommended by someone else and she was following up to see if I was interested in an unrelated project. And I had heard of her because this is, um, the publisher’s Elva Resa of military family books.

[00:36:28] And I had known other military spouses who were published through that company. So I already had my eye on them, but I didn’t think they knew who I was. And when they had asked some of their authors, Hey, are there other new up and coming authors that are out there that you think we should be speaking to?

[00:36:42] My name had been thrown out. So they contacted me about this project. And I said, I just thought maybe I should let you know, I’ve actually been working on a manuscript, but it’s not done yet. So I’m not really ready to present it, but just thought, I’d tell you that I’m working on. And they said, well, that’s great.

[00:36:59] Send it over. And I’m like, no, but it’s, it’s not that they wanted to see it anyway, just to get a sense of my concept and where I was going with it. And they liked the idea. They did suggest some major changes, which were super intimidating at the time because I had been sitting, you know, just doing it on my own, doing it my way and my style.

[00:37:21] And for example, I had written everything in first person, you know, I went through a deployment, I did this. And they said, well, this is really, it seems like your letters are about your readers. And so the letters should be in second person. Every sentence needs to say, you might be going through a deployment.

[00:37:37] You might be doing this. So I had to rewrite the entire book in second person, which is an enormous undertaking, but thankfully they were able to give me that suggestion early in the writing journey, before I had completed the manuscript. And along the way I would, I would give them suggestions for different letter topics and they would bounce those back with, maybe do it this way.

[00:37:58] Or, uh, you already have a lot in that category, but maybe focus on this instead. So we kind of came up with the latter topics together and then I would have to sit down and plan out how to write each one.

[00:38:12] Christine: Well, thank you for sharing your process, because I think sometimes when we have a dream on our heart, it can feel so big.

[00:38:22] We allow like all the problems or like, how do I actually do this to keep us from ever taking that first step? So the fact that you were like, Hey, I feel this. I’m just going to start a word document and start working on this and then let that process happen. Um, I think it’s really valuable information to share.

[00:38:40] So what I would love to do is just as we wrap up our time together, what is one or two pieces of advice that you would like to give military spouses today.

[00:38:53] LizAnn: I think one of the main themes in the book that I hope everyone will know is just that you are not alone in this military journey. I hear all the time people asking, is it normal to feel like this? Is it okay?

[00:39:07] I just want to hug them and tell them that so many military spouses have been in a very similar situation or felt that very same emotion and it’s totally normal and it’s totally okay. And other people have worked through it and found a way through that solution. So I hope that people always know that they are not alone, that there’s thousands of other military spouses in the world.

[00:39:30] And someone else out there is facing a similar situation and a similar challenge as you. Always know that.

[00:39:39] Christine: So let everybody know where they will be able to find the book once it’s available.

[00:39:45] LizAnn: It is currently available everywhere that books are sold. It can be ordered on Amazon. You can order it for my publisher.

[00:39:53] You can go to Barnes and noble or borders, whatever website or storefront you prefer to use. It’s called Open When: Letters of Encouragement for Military Spouses.

[00:40:03] Christine: Well, I’m so excited for you. I want to cheer you on and celebrate you. And I know that this is a huge deal to bring something like this into the world. So let everybody know how they can find you and connect with you.

[00:40:17] LizAnn: Yeah. Please stop by my blog and my website. It’s seasoned spouse com. Uh, I’m also on all the major social media channels as seasoned spouse or the seasoned spouse. So please check me out there. And I have little sneak peaks of the book.

[00:40:34] Chapter reveals. We have book reviews, some behind the scenes kind of information, and then all of my regular resources about deployment and supporting military spouses on their journey.

[00:40:44] Christine: Wonderful. Well, thank you so much for taking time to talk with us today.

[00:40:49] LizAnn: Thank you for having me. It’s been such a pleasure.

[00:40:51] Christine: All right, guys, I hope you got so much out of our conversation today. Thank you so much Lizann for sharing your story with us. Now, as I mentioned at the beginning of this episode, you have the chance to win your own copy of her new book, Open When: Letters of Encouragement for the Military Spouse. There are three ways to enter.

[00:41:12] Number one, just share the milspouse mastermind in your social media feed, you do in your main feed or in your stories, just make sure you tag me at my new Instagram handle at milspousemastermind. Or if you share it on Facebook, just make sure to let me know that you have shared it so I can make sure that you get entered.

[00:41:31] The second way to enter is to find the giveaway post on my Instagram. And tag a friend who might also benefit from this book and four or five bonus entries, just head over to apple podcast and leave a review of the show. This is the best way for more people to find out about this show and get this helpful content in their earbuds each and every week.

[00:42:01] Don’t forget if you want to be on the milspouse purpose playbook launch team, head over it and be one of the first five people to pre-purchase the course at 50% off. I hope you have an amazing week until next time may you live filled, fueled and full of joy.