[00:00:00] Christine: Hello, friends. Welcome to the MilSpouse Mastermind show in the final edition of my 2022 Real life recap series where each month I have shown you what it actually looks like to pursue goals and live a life of purpose as a military spouse, the good, the bad, the really, really frustrating. What does it look like to try to find.

[00:00:24] And to really craft a life with purpose. I am your host, your fellow military spouse, Christine, and it is my goal to be able to pull back the curtain on what actually happened in my life each month to reflect on that so that I can show you this is what it actually takes to pursue a goal as a military spouse.

What Does it Really Look Like to Pursue Goals as a Military Spouse?

[00:00:47] And this is why reflection is so important to us because. A process of personal growth, of development, and of ultimately becoming and stepping into who we’re meant to become. This journey is full of great things. It’s full of hard things. But ultimately it’s a journey and it’s a journey that I want us all to be on, and that’s why I really took this year to show you this is what it looks like in real life.

[00:01:21] And it’s hard to believe we’ve made it this far, that there are 12 monthly recaps. That really all started as this idea of, okay, here’s all of the challenges that we face as a military spouse, and when we go to social media, we see the highlight reel. We see people that have done these great things, but what does it look like in the messy middle in pursuing goals, in trying to become the best version of ourselves to love the.

[00:01:51] That we have and to make the most of that, what does that look like on a weekly, on a monthly basis? And, and that was really my goal is just to share my journey this year. So it’s crazy. Here we are. The last recap of 2022. Are you ready to find out what happened in my life in December and what lessons we can all learn from my.

[00:02:16] I can’t wait to unpack all of it with you, so let’s go ahead and get started with today’s show.

What if 2023 Could Be Your Best Year Yet?

The MilSpouse Goal Setting Masterclass

[00:03:13] Okay, I announced this on Monday’s episode, but I want to let you know that the plan, your 2023. Workshop is coming. This is your chance to plan your year with me. We’re gonna walk through my flexible goal setting method. We’re going to figure out how to set the right goals for you this year, give you something to work towards and show you how to make progress towards those goals.

[00:03:41] To do when you feel like it’s not going the way that you thought it would. When you’re getting discouraged because of all the obstacles that seem to keep getting in your path, what do you do? It is way too easy to just let life happen and to set an intention for your year, but it to be nothing more than something you.

[00:04:05] On January one, and that’s not what this is about. This is about how you can tangibly and actually improve your life and move towards the dreams on your heart into becoming who you are meant to be. I want personal development to be something that you feel like is accessible to you. It’s easy to go listen to these big names and personal development in the self-help space and be like, man, they are doing all these things.

[00:04:41] They are achieving all these goals. They are doing all these things and I can’t seem to. But the reality is they don’t have the life that you have. They have support systems in place. They are not trying to figure all of this out. As a military spouse who is solo parenting, who has a deployed spouse, or who is in the middle of planning a PCs or not living close to any family.

[00:05:12] You can feel pulled in so many directions. I know because I feel this very same feeling sometimes. But I want to make goal setting. I want to make your dreams something that you don’t have to wait for some future season to pursue. What we do today matters what you do, and I do. And we can actually be moving towards a life that truly lights us up.

[00:05:43] A life that truly. A life of meaning and purpose and fulfillment is possible. And it ultimately goes back to how we choose to live our daily life, the goals that we set, the progress that we make, and how we reflect on that progress. So, I would love for you to join me for the Plan 2023 workshop. This is not something that you have to have figured out by January one.

[00:06:12] That’s why we’re doing it in the middle of January because it’s really about how we’re setting up our lives for the rest of the year. But I would love for you to do this with me, and you can get started, get registered just by going. Mel spouse mastermind.com/plan your 2023. I can’t wait to see you there.

Reflection is The Key to Growth

[00:06:35] You can find out all the details at that site. Okay, let’s go ahead. Today, uh, we are looking at a new year, new goals, but one of the most important things is to be able to spend time reflecting on where we are. One of the quotes that I absolutely love from John Maxwell is that experience is not the best teacher evaluated experience is.

[00:07:07] And so that’s what I’ve tried to do with these monthly recaps. Is to say, okay, here’s what my goals were. Here’s what actually happened. Uh, here’s where I struggled and here’s what I learned in the process, and that’s how I’m going to, what are the lessons that I’m gonna take with me into next month, into next year?

[00:07:28] What can I learn from what I’m going through in my life? And how can I adjust my actions, my habits, my routines, and my. So we have 12 months of monthly recaps. Now this is December, what I hoped to accomplish in December, what actually happened, what I learned, and what I’m going to do with that information moving forward.

Help Us Make the MilSpouse Mastermind Show Even Better

[00:07:52] Now, before we dig into December, I would like to reiterate that I love your feedback. I love knowing what episodes have really resonated with you, what you have learned, what you want us to talk about moving forward. On the show and specifically I am looking for five people who are willing to hop on a brief call with me and just give me some feedback.

[00:08:18] Let me pick your brain a little bit. Um, if you are willing to do that, please send me a message. hello@milspousemastermind.com. I will have a special gift for you for your time, but I would really, really appreciate it if you could just, um, help me as we plan. 2023, so that I know that we are creating content that really resonates with you, that really helps you in your journey as a military spouse.

MilSpouse Real Life Recap – December Edition

[00:08:46] Okay, so let’s talk about December. And December’s a little funny because as I’m reflecting on the month and what happened and what I accomplished, it’s also kind. A reflection on the entire year. So I’m gonna kind of just focus on the month of December as much as I can in this episode. And then, um, next week I’m gonna go into reflecting on my entire year and what happened, what I learned, and what I’m gonna take with us moving forward, so that hopefully you will take the time to do the.

[00:09:21] Thing, whether you are joining us for the workshop to plan your new year or not, I definitely encourage taking that time for reflection, especially at the end of the year, moving into a new year, but, Let’s talk about what my goals were in December and and what actually happened. And December is interesting because I have grown so much over the last couple of years about my view of December and what is possible for me in this time of year.

[00:09:57] And I know that there are people. That have very specific goals and they’re very intent on hitting those goals and doing whatever it takes to reach those goals by the end of the year and absolutely no shade if that is how you look at things. Um, there is something to be said for just making something happen, for feeling like you can say you reach that goal, that accomplishment, but really what I.

[00:10:26] To focus on is this sense of flexible goal setting because it, it, it really focuses not on perfection, not on the achievement, but it’s about the journey, about the progress, about moving in the right direction and giving ourselves tons and tons of grace. It’s a way that allows us to be present for the season of life that we’re in.

[00:10:54] And that’s really what I have come to value about December, that it is less about hitting a certain number or goal or achievement, but really being present and available for my family and really saying, okay, I’m going to prioritize different things in this month, especially as we’re moving into. Having school-aged kids and them being home for half of the month and really saying, okay, what’s going to matter this month?

Setting My Intentions for the Month

[00:11:24] How do I want to spend my time? So I made the conscious decision to really not focus on my business or focusing on so many of my other goals, but really what matters. Most to me this month was not getting overwhelmed and stressed and really being able to be present for my kids and my family. And so I will say on that front, December really was a success this year because we weren’t traveling to see extended family, so there wasn’t any added stress there.

[00:11:56] Um, So we had a conversation with our kids. I know they’re gonna be off school. Hey, what are the traditions? What things would be most meaningful to you, and how can we incorporate those into our schedule? This year, I actually started planning out all the things that needed to happen for December and for Christmas.

[00:12:19] And really that has continued to shift up over the years. And so really I’m planning this out for in October and then starting in early November, I started making progress on that. List. And, and because of that, we had a relatively smooth December. I started wrapping gifts each night a couple of weeks prior, partly because my daughter’s birthday was also in there.

[00:12:48] Um, and because we had family sending us gifts that weren’t wrapped. So I had a lot of wrapping to do, but because I started early, it really made for a smooth c. Week. So from that big goals perspective and what mattered most in this particular season or in this month, um, it was really good when I looked back at the end of November.

[00:13:15] If you go back and listen to my November recap, Hey, my lessons moving into December are okay, number one, continue to work on your mindset. Address those feelings of discouragement, release what I can’t control, and focus on what’s important. And so that’s what I really. Did try to focus my time and intention on in December, um, and I let a lot of things go from a trying to accomplish things and really just tried to give us a Christmas season with as little stress as possible.

What Actually Happened

[00:13:50] We were able to take one night away as a family, go stay in a cabin. We were able to. To celebrate my daughter’s birthday, we hosted kids’ Christmas party for my husband’s squadron. That was a lot of fun. A Mary Grinch Smith. Theme. Um, and then we attended the adult holiday party for his squadron, which was a roaring twenties theme, and that was a lot of fun as well.

[00:14:17] So, uh, a lot of things happened and they were. All, all in all pretty good in December, so I am super thankful for that. I’m thankful because I made so many freezer meals in October and November. Um, I didn’t have to stress a lot about cooking in December. Um, Releasing, trying to get stuff done in my business and accepting this is a season to focus on what’s going on in my family and in other commitments that I had made in my volunteer work.

[00:14:49] All of that, um, and to make some time for goal planning for the new year to set aside time to reflect on what I learned overall in 2020. . Um, and then I finished my reading goal for the year. Um, and I’m gonna talk, I have another separate episode talking all about book recommendations for you in 2023. I’m gonna share some of my favorites from the year, but, um, that was a big one for me, finishing my reading goal.

Where I Struggled

[00:15:21] For the year. Now, that’s not to say that December did not have its own share of struggles because, um, you know, it’s just life. Kids are home from school. They are around a lot more. There was a lot more trying to keep up with messes around the house and, and trying to adjust to that rhythm. . Um, and really probably the area that I became aware that I was struggling the most is just with appreciating myself and identifying these mindset blockers, um, that are keeping me from moving forward.

[00:16:02] In the Christmas episode, I talked about five keys. To tapping into joy in our lives. If you have not yet listened to that episode, I highly recommend go back, listen to that. It’s really good. Five keys to really allow us to tap into joy on a daily basis. And really what I identified was the weakest area for me is this key, this self-compassion key and.

Lessons Learned

[00:16:34] So being able to say, okay, this is an area where I am struggling, and then knowing that I need to work on that particular area. Um, so that was one of my struggles. Um, and then just, you know, the normal everyday life with kids. Um, but it was good. And so my big takeaways for December. Is number one. I just continue to say flexible goal setting is important because it’s really about the shift in our mindset that it’s not about the goal achievement.

[00:17:11] It’s not about the timeline, it’s about the journey. It’s about the process, not the outcome. I absolutely love checking things off a list. I love. Big wins, but really keeping that perspective of what really matters. It’s my ability to make progress and to move towards becoming the person that I am meant to be.

[00:17:39] And, and that is true for all of us if we truly want to live a life. Purpose, a life that truly lights us up and allows us to make an impact in the world because so many people out there will tell you that you have to go out there and do whatever it takes to make your dream happen, to make that goal happen, and that you’re not at success if you don’t hit that number.

[00:18:03] And that is not what this is about. This is. Building a sustainable life, uh, but one that allows you to live into who you are meant to be. Um, the second big takeaway is that it’s exciting to see the internal work that I’m doing that you know, is not so tangible, is not so easy to quantify, but to say, this is the feeling that I’m after.

[00:18:32] This is the plan I’m putting in motion so that I’m living into the person that I’m meant to be, that I’m creating the life that truly allows me to. Live into my purpose and to be present for the people that matter to me and, and then to be able to say, Hey, this was really a successful month. I got to see the work that I’m doing pay off in a way that cannot be.

[00:18:59] Quantified well on a piece of paper, but to really feel that fullness of joy and, and knowing that I’m doing the work that matters, that I am doing the internal work on myself, that’s going to pay off in the long run, that’s going to help me, um, step into that next season, whatever. next season looks like, um, without worrying about the numbers and the deadlines and the things that didn’t get accomplished this year, um,

[00:19:33] And then the third take takeaway is that I am realizing I really love this week between Christmas and New Year’s, where there’s not a whole lot. on our plate where, you know, there’s no school, there’s no activities to go to, there’s no things that really have to be done. And you can kind of make that week whatever you want it to be.

[00:19:57] Now I know if you have a full-time job, if and if they don’t have downtime hours, that is not available to everyone. . But in this season we were able to kind of step back just to rest and have some quality family time. And um, I really tried to, um, get myself to this place where I felt like I was ready to step into a new year where I wasn’t coming into this year from this place of burnout and overwhelm or stress and fear, but really from.

[00:20:31] Like a healthy place, mind, body, and spirit that is ready for a new year. I am excited for a new year. I’m excited for possibilities. I’m excited for a year where we’re not going to probably, knock on wood, PCS as I am excited for. The opportunities to grow as a person and to grow in my ability to serve you and the military spouse community.

[00:20:59] So that is kind of how I am wrapping up December, wrapping up this year. Um, and like I said, on Monday’s episode, I have bonus content plan for the entire month of January. Such a great time for reflection and for studying intentions for the rest of the year. And I feel like when I look at my podcast feed, when I look at all of the emails that I get, everybody’s like, okay, we gotta figure this out before January one.

Where We Go From Here

[00:21:31] And I feel like sometimes that’s just too much pressure when you’re just trying to live life and focus on the present. Throughout the month of January, we’re going to have our normal Monday episodes that are really designed to help you get untuck and craft a life with purpose. And then we’re going to spend a lot more time on Thursdays focused on reflecting and setting intentions for the new year.

[00:22:00] And I am excited about all the. That we have coming Again, if you are willing to hop on a call, give me some specific feedback. Let me pick your brain about how we can best serve the military spouse community. Just send me an email hello@milspousemastermind.com. Don’t forget to register for the plan, your 2023 workshop by going to milspouse mastermind.com/plan your 2020.

[00:22:30] As we wrap up today, I just want you to know that I am here for you. I am rooting for you. I am excited about how we’re going to grow together. Please come join us inside our free Facebook community. You can get there by going to milspouse mastermind.com/community. But I would love for you to tell me how your break went, what your dreams and hopes are for this year, and how.

[00:22:57] We can support one another because I know you have something valuable to offer the world, and I can’t wait to see how you grow and step into becoming who you’re meant to be this year. I will be back with you again on Monday. Until then, may you live filled, fueled, and full of joy.