Welcome back to the milspouse mastermind show. I’m so excited to be back in your ears today. Sipping my coffee and talking about life as military spouses. I have a question for you. Do you feel stuck? Maybe you’re not living the life you dreamed or things have just turned out differently than you thought they would be.

[00:00:21] And when you look at your life, you know that you’re not really thriving, but you feel stuck and you’re not sure what you need to do. Well today, we’re going to talk about why our dreams are such an important piece of the puzzle. And then I’ll give you five tools to help you get unstuck and start crafting a life with purpose today. So if you’re ready to reclaim your life and dreams, then let’s dive in to the episode.

Before we dive in to the content in today’s episode, I just want to give you an update on the milspouse purpose, playbook. This is a course for you if you are ready to get clarity on who you are, what lights you up, and how you can live a life that matters in your current season of life.

[00:02:03] When I started creating content for this podcast, I knew that so many of us were feeling a little lost because so many of us have put our own dreams and passions on the back burner. We want to support our spouse. We want to be a great mom or dad, but somewhere along the way, we put our own needs on the back burner.

[00:02:32] And now we wind up not thriving. We question who we are. We struggle with higher levels of stress and anxiety and self-doubt. I know what that feels like to feel like you’re on a hamster wheel or that you’re throwing spaghetti at a wall, trying to figure out what is going to help you feel like yourself again, to feel alive.

[00:02:57] And like you have your own mission and purpose in life. I know what it’s like to feel stuck. And that is exactly why I created the Milspouse Purpose Playbook. I spent years researching and trying so many different pathways to get clear on how I could actually pursue something that mattered, that lit me up and still prioritize the needs of our family and the unpredictability of the military lifestyle.

[00:03:28] And I know that you could spend years trying to figure it out, trying all the things as well. I could put all of the information that I have found and learned from, into one easy-to-digest piece of content that you could consume in a matter of weeks. In this course, you’re going to get clarity on your purpose.

[00:03:50] You’re going to learn how to craft a life of purpose and start chasing your dreams, regardless of what season of life you’re in. You’re going to learn how to prioritize what matters most and, in the process, discover who it is that you’re meant to be and how you’re meant to show up in this world. You’ll walk away with your own personal purpose statement and a vision for the life you want and a decision-making framework to help you prioritize what matters most.

[00:04:22] If you want to know more about this course and how it can help you get unstuck and thrive, just head over to milspouse mastermind dot.com forward slash clarity to get on the waitlist. You’ll be the first to know when the course is ready for you. I have all of the videos created and I’m putting together an entire workbook.

[00:04:43] That’s going to walk you through exercises that go along with each module to help you get the clarity you need to keep taking the next step on your journey, get unstuck and figure out what it is that you were meant to do in this world. This is exactly what I wish I would have had several years ago when I was struggling so much with who I am and what I had to offer.

[00:05:07] And so I am so excited to offer this to you. I hope it is going to be a blessing to you or to someone in your life that you know is struggling to find purpose in this season. I know it’s a tough season for all of us. COVID cases are on the rise. Again, there’s a lot of questions about schooling and what kind of school year kids are going to have.

[00:05:30] Once again, here on Guam, we just had our Air Force ball canceled and it looks like we won’t be able to take any vacations for the foreseeable future. So I know that what our stressors are going to be different for each of us, but we all have added stressors in our life today. And so the question is, what do we do with it?

[00:05:52] How do we keep moving forward? How do we overcome getting stuck in these stories that we don’t love about our lives? How do we move forward with meaning and purpose?

So today we’re going to talk about the importance of our own dreams and goals and passions, because for so many of us we’ve seen. Having that big dream, we’ve stopped thinking about what we really want in our future and how to get there.

[00:06:19] And when we don’t have a vision for where we want to go for a direction for what’s possible, then we just end up existing through life and we fail to truly live. And that’s why it’s so important for us to reclaim our lives and dreams. It’s important to revive this great vision for your life. Not dependent on your circumstances, but dependent on who you are and who you want to be.

[00:06:52] We’re going to over the course of today, help you unpack and uncover what was lost, help you figure out where you want to go. And what living a life of purpose actually looks like in your current season of life. So let’s talk about five steps you can take to reclaim your life. And the first thing is just to start dreaming again.

Think back to when you were a kid and you had all of these big dreams and plans for your life. Long before anybody told you what was possible or the military made you start moving every so many years, and you left all of your comfort zone and the people that knew you, and what was familiar to you and set out on this adventure, into the unknown you had. And goals and passions for what you wanted in life.

[00:07:40] And the first step we can do is start uncovering those dreams. Think back to what you wanted as a kid, or maybe as a young adult. The things that made you excited, the possibilities, the dreams you had for your future. Spend some time thinking about what those dreams were and why they were important.

[00:08:09] The second thing you can do is to get clear on what you really want in life. This is something that I see happen so often we have this idea that the grass is always greener on the other side. And if our life looked a certain way, it would be better. The thing is so many of us have these ideas that aren’t based on reality.

[00:08:34] They’re based on what other people have told us is desirable or is better, or what we see on social media. And so we think, oh, if I had that, then my life would be great, but we don’t know what it is that we really want. And. So, for example, we think we would love to live close to family because we would have that help and that support system.

[00:09:01] And we would have people that know us and love us and are able to help with our kids. But then we failed to think about all of the, um, family dynamics that might be challenging. If we lived close to family on a regular basis. So there are pluses and minuses to the thing we think we want. So instead of focusing on the thing itself, focus on why you want that, what it is about, that thing that is most appealing, because you’ll learn much more about yourself and what you really want when you focus on the motivations, when you focus.

[00:09:40] I know plenty of people who live close to family and who aren’t content with the way their lives. Look, we can have everything we want in life and still not be content. We can have everything that culture says is a mark of a successful life, and still not be happy or fulfilled. So one of the most important things we can do is get really clear on what kind of vision we have for our life and why we want it so that we know what we are moving towards.

[00:10:14] So that we are not letting other people or other systems or culture. What we want for us, because that will never lead us to a place of meaning and purpose and fulfillment in our life. Number one, start dreaming again. Number two, get clear on what you really want in life and why, number three, find your sweet spot.

[00:10:39] Now you’re probably asking what in the world is my sweet spot? So all of the research that I have done on the concept of our purpose comes down to living out of our sweet spot, which I define as your essence, your intention and your impact. In other words, who you are, who you want to be, what you value and what kind of impact you want to have.

[00:11:10] Now, without unpacking all of these in great detail, I will say the one thing that I say so many times in this podcast, and that is fulfillment comes from contributing to something outside yourself. If self is the goal, we will never find fulfillment, but fulfillment comes from contributing to something outside of ourself.

[00:11:31] So living. In and out of our purpose involves contributing to something outside of ourselves. And so we have to know who we are, who we want to be and what we value, how we want to show up and make an impact in the lives of others. And in that center of those three pieces is your contribution, your unique purpose, your unique gift to the world.

[00:11:59] And the more that we engage in activities that are at that center, that align with who we are, our strengths, our gifts, that align with what we value most, that align with what we care about and why we want to show up. That is how we pursue clarity of purpose. We find our sweet spot and that takes me to the fourth step.

[00:12:26] And that is to pursue clarity Now within that center, that core contribution out of your sweet spot, there are a number of different things that you could do to pursue purpose and ultimately your greatest contribution, your greatest impact is going to come down to three thing:, the right thing, the right reason and the right season.

[00:12:53] So what do I mean? Well, it has to be the right thing. It has to be something that both lights you up and aligns with your values and the impact that you want to have in the world. You have to, it has to be the right reason. You can’t do it because of some other obligation. You have to be doing it for the right reason.

[00:13:18] And finally it has to be the right time or season. There are going to be seasons of waiting and seasons of taking action and making big steps of progress in a forward motion. There’s going to be seasons of preparing. There’s going to be seasons where your focus has to be on your family. There’s seasons, where you’re focused primarily on making that big OCONUS PCS, there’s seasons, where you can’t go as fast or as far.

[00:13:47] And it’s really determining what is, what am I supposed to be doing right now? Why am I doing that? And is this the right time for this? Clarity of purpose comes down to figuring out what these things are that are at the core of our sweet spot and then testing them out. Does this lead me to greater clarity on my purpose?

[00:14:14] Because here’s the thing about. Purpose as a big picture, the who you are and why you do what you do over the course of your life. That part of purpose is relatively constant. Once you determined that that is true of you. For the majority of your life, but the house and what’s of living out your purpose is going to change from season to season.

[00:14:42] Your purpose is going to evolve, how you live out of your purpose is going to change. So the fifth thing that you can do to start reclaiming your life and dreams is to craft a purpose in action statement. Now you may be wondering what in the world is a purpose and action? This is the term I have coined to talk about what it looks like to live out your purpose in your current season of life.

[00:15:11] So, yes, your purpose is going to change and evolve as you pursue clarity of purpose. As you take action towards aligning what you do with who you are, but a purpose and action state. Helps you get clear on what your mission is today, what you should be focused on, why you show up what you were living for.

[00:15:33] So your purpose and action statement helps you get clear on who it is that you want to serve, how you want to serve them, why you are doing that and what. And helps you figure out what your thing is and how you live it out in your current season. And then you can apply that purpose and action statement to your life.

[00:15:52] And this is applicable, whether you are as a stay-at-home parent, whether you work outside the home full-time whether you’re in school. If you are wanting to get unstuck, if you’re tired of feeling like you don’t have a reason to show up, if you don’t have something that you’re working towards, if you feel like you’re just existing in life and you’re ready to start.

[00:16:18] For something, if you’re ready to start living that life of meaning and purpose, if you’re ready to have a reason to get out of bed everyday and to take action, if you’re ready to use your gifts and your story to make a difference in the lives of others, then you, you need to start reclaiming your life and dreams.

[00:16:42] This is the answer to getting unstuck. As a military spouse. And what’s the result of pursuit of starting to dream, again, of getting clear on what it is that you really want of finding your sweet spot of pursuing that clarity of purpose and crafting your purpose and action statement. I love this quote from Ben Armand. He is the author of the book Dream Year, and he says the outcome of pursuing your dream Is discovering what you were born to do. Your great gift is to align what you do with who you are

[00:17:15]. And when you figure this out, you’ll find more satisfaction and make a bigger contribution to the world than any job could provide. It’s not about finding the right job or finding the perfect work-life balance, pursuing your dream.

[00:17:41] It’s aligning what you do with who you are and ultimately discovering what you were born to do. You will find in that process, satisfaction and joy and purpose and fulfillment. So as we close out our time together today, I just want to remind you of. Number one, if you’re ready to get unstuck and you want a framework for how you take each of these steps and practically unpack your dreams and figure out what your life vision is and how to find your sweet spot and craft your purpose and action statement, then head over to milspouse mastermind.com forward slash clarity to get on the list, or I’ll have that link in the show notes below.

[00:18:23] You will be the first to know when the male spouse purpose playbook is available. And the last thing I want to say is that your dreams matter. When you pursue the dreams on your heart, you will move closer to a life of purpose and to discovering who you are meant to be.

[00:18:50] As you began to craft your life in pursuit of your dreams and your purpose, you will experience flourishing and in turn, you will help others flourish and together we can build a flourishing world. My call to you as we close out our time together today is to dream big, my friend.

 I hope you have an amazing week. I will see you next time until then may you live filled, fueled and full of joy.