Christine: I know military life can sometimes feel like one crazy rollercoaster ride. It’s full of transitions and plot twists and trying to find your own way amidst the chaos. And that’s exactly what today’s guest is going to talk to us about. I sit down with Bree Carroll, who is a military spouse event planner, community builder, and speaker.

She holds the title of 202-2021 AFI Air Force Spouse of the Year. And she advocates to strengthen military marriages on her podcast, Hearts and Stripes. She is also the founder of Military Marriage Day, a national holiday celebrated on August 14th. And she is the executive producer of GY6 show, a virtual fashion exhibition highlighting military veteran, spouse, and dependent designers around NYFW.

[00:01:06] But that’s not where Bree’s story started. And that’s what we’re going to dig into today. We’re going to talk about her journey and finding those common threads of purpose that led her to where she is today. We’re going to talk about asking these questions about what it really means to live a fulfilling life today as a military spouse. I know you’re going to get so much out of this episode and while Bree and I are both podcasters, we have a really fun connection that you’ll hear about on the show.

One Year Anniversary Giveaway

[00:02:37] Now, before I share my conversation with Bree, I just want to remind you that we are over here celebrating the one-year anniversary of the MilSpouse Mastermind Show. And I could not think of a better way to celebrate with you then by getting the word out about the show. So what I decided to do is make it a win-win for everybody. You share, you leave a review of the show on apple iTunes, and everyone who does so will be entered to win one all-access pass inside the MilSpouse Purpose Playbook. This is THE course to help you get clarity around what you really want in life, so that you can live a fulfilling life and truly craft a life with purpose. You’re going to get clear on your sweet spot. You’re going to create your personal purpose statement, and you’re going to learn the exact steps that you need to take to start living a purpose-fueled life.

[00:03:39] Life can be truly fulfilling, right where you are. You don’t have to wait for some future season to chase your dreams. It’s time to get unstuck and craft a life with purpose. And if you feel like you need milspouse purpose playbook, then I want to give one listener this opportunity. And all you have to do is go share about the podcast, leave a review on apple iTunes.

[00:04:05] Let me know that you did that either by screenshotting it and sending me via email, or you can just post it in your social media feed and tag me @milspousemastermind. You will be entered to win. If you have already left a review of the show, then all you got to do is just share this show on your social media feed and you will be entered to win as well.

[00:04:28] So help us spread the word about the Milspouse Mastermind Show and be entered to win a free all-access pass inside MilSpouse Purpose Playbook. Okay. Let’s get into my conversation with Bree Carroll. Welcome back to the MilSpouse Mastermind Show. I am so excited to be with you today.

I have a very special guest Bree Carroll is joining us and I’m super excited about this because Bree and I recently reconnected. I actually knew her long before she became a military spouse, but I wanted to hear more about her journey over the last several years and what she’s done as a military spouse. And I thought, what better way than to do this than on the podcast, so I can share her story with you.

[00:05:14] I know we’re going to get so much good information and just a great story about someone choosing to live a life of purpose as a military spouse. So Bree, welcome to the show.

[00:05:30] Bree: Thank you so much for having me. Hello, spouses out there. If you are listening here, then you are totally in the right place and we are going to be friends and I’m excited just to share my journey. So let’s get right into it. It’s a fun one. Yes.

[00:05:48] Christine: So start us out. Tell us a little bit about your background and how it kind of led to what you do today. And then we’ll kind of unpack it because I know there’s a lot in there.

[00:05:59] Bree: so it is a lot in there. So, we know each other from Del Rio days. And during that time, I was actually a college graduate who opted to take a chance as a palace, acquire with a position with the air force.

[00:06:14] Doing civil engineering work. Right? So I was focused on my career in engineering, having a great time, um, on this crazy journey where I was just like this Jersey girl is now in Texas, and this is awesome. I actually really love Del Rio. I know for anyone who knows where Laughlin air force base is, you’re probably like rolling your eyes.

[00:06:38] But I thought it was cool because being a city girl, for me, it was like completely out of my element. And it felt like, I don’t know. I thought I was going to like run over to Mexico and like live this tropical fantasy. I don’t know. But, being in Del Rio, Texas really was like a desert season that I would say, um, it was something that really stretched me and really grew me as a person.

[00:07:02] And even though I went there for career pursuits, I had the opportunity to meet the handsome, air force pilot, who was in pilot training at the time, who completely kind of changed the trajectory that I thought my life was on. And it was a beautiful thing because I was just really excited and committed to say yes to this crazy ride called military life.

[00:07:30] I typically like to say it’s a rollercoaster ride, right? Uh, all the twists and turns. And you never know when there’s going to be a drop that, um, comes your way. It has been really fun. We met and married. I was hoping that he would FAPE or get the assignment to stay in Del Rio because I really loved it.

[00:07:50] And I actually had recently gotten a promotion to a GS 12 for those who are tracking the government, um, system for civil employees. Um, so that was pretty good. 12, um, was a supervisory position. So I felt like really comfortable in, in my zone, but we got orders to Barksdale air force base, which is only over a state and Louisiana, but it might’ve as well been on the other side of the earth because Texas is huge.

[00:08:23] So it took forever to get there. And we finally arrived. In, um, Bowser, CDE, Shreveport area, Louisiana. And now I get not only the title of being a wife, but I’m coming with a special package of a one month old baby. Um, so that was a lot of fun. So it kind of go through those earlier years, but as an adventure, it was fun.

[00:08:51] But when I tell you, I struggled trying to figure out who I was, as I continued to evolve, we ended up staying in Louisiana for six months. Um, and during that time we had more babies and I continue to work in the. Engineering career field with the air force, um, for what would be a total of 11 years. And I think what really started to shift, um, me developing as a person was really working a nine to five and not completely filling fulfilled.

[00:09:30] I would over volunteer, overextend over commit time and time again, trying to fill a void that was just there even being a, a spouse with a career. And I know that sounds crazy to people who are just like, I want to work and do the things and I don’t have the opportunity to, and you feel like there’s a void.

[00:09:50] Let me tell you, on the other side of that fence, the grass is not necessarily greener because you’re still looking to be personally fulfilled and you have to still be flexible even as it relates to your spouse. Because going to Barksdale, I took a step down. I was a GS 11 for several years, even though.

[00:10:11] Um, and at Loughlin, I had gotten the promotion, like I had earned my way. I had to start over again and at a lower grade level. So that kind of was a little crushing. And then each time I had a child, I felt obligated to go back and show up as my best. So two times guys, as if I didn’t learn the lesson, the first time, two times I went back to work only three.

[00:10:38] After having a little one and was really questioning and fat because I found identity in that role, I just really questioned who I was, who I was supposed to show up to being. And during that time, that’s when I got this crazy idea of maybe I would find some. And starting my retirement job, air quotes early, which is in planning, weddings, and events.

[00:11:06] And it’s something that I absolutely love to deal with lightning up, but what I ended up doing and starting my book. In the beginning was creating more busy work for myself, still looking to find fulfillment in all these roles in titles. And it wasn’t until I got to a point where I was like, you know what, I’m going to bet on myself.

[00:11:30] It was the beginning of the pandemic as many of us, um, maybe have had a similar experience in 2020. Where I was like, I am going to invest in myself because all of that over volunteering and overextending actually got me the title of being the 20, 20, 20, 21 armed forces insurance air force, spouse of the year.

[00:11:54] Um, and at that time I had started to lean into the passion of really wanting to see people’s relationships, healthy and thriving. And as I like to call it mil marriage. So I leaned into coaching, um, which I highly encouraged guys, um, and leaned into career coaching. And although I was going there to figure out how to craft a great speech and be a good speaker, cause I had this new role and I didn’t want to like embarrass myself.

[00:12:24] I actually started to discover and dig into what purpose looked like for me in this season. And I realized that the decisions that I was making, the things that I kept shoveling on top of my workload was a cry for help, really? In me just saying, Bree, are you okay with who you are? Like when you look in the mirror, are you happy with the person that you are?

[00:12:51] And if all of these titles are stripped from you. Would you be okay. And I started to do that deep work and figure it out. Like, no, like I don’t think I would really be fulfilled because I was like clawing at any. And every thing, some of them were good. Like, I feel like those were like the God winks and the breadcrumbs that like, he allowed me to like stumble into, but there were some other things that were just unnecessary.

[00:13:21] Pressures that I put on myself to be or operate at a certain level. And then we get sent to my not North Dakota. I get a promotion again. So now I am at a GS 13 level loving life and was only there for 10 months. Want, want, want, talk about plot twist. You think that you’re at the pinnacle of where you want to be, and then you’re like, Nope, you’re getting sent back.

[00:13:48] Thank you, air force. Um, but it challenged me to really look into saying. Are you going to bet on yourself with this business that you started and really lean into it? Or are you going to lean into the people who are like excited to hear about your advocacy for strengthening military marriages? Are you going to lean into the things that just happen to.

[00:14:12] Uh, come into your life that were really blessings and, and giving you hints about what your purpose is and your present purpose. Are you going to lean into those things or are you going to sit here twiddling your thumbs and hope that you can get that same title back? Because that’s your comfort zone?

[00:14:29] Is that what you think you’re supposed to be doing? And I made the decision to just go full time and now. Um, full time running my business, um, doing, uh, events, no longer weddings. Um, as much even though I love some vows and some wedding cake, but I’ve switched over to doing more B2B because as I leaned into coaching, I loved the people who are change makers, who are calling people out of that sunken hole that they find themselves in and show.

[00:15:04] Them the, how they can find fulfillment, how they can chase purpose, how they can live a life that they get to decide and they get to choose how they live it out. And I love serving those people. So I had this crazy idea that that’s who. I could work alongside and bring my genius of problem-solving from engineering and those logistics and timelines and project management, and marry that up with the community that I fell in love with via coaching.

[00:15:36] And now that is what I do full time. Um, as an event, planner, designer, and strategist, and still keep to do, keep doing my advocacy with military marriage as the host of hearts and strikes podcast and founder of military marriage.

[00:15:54] Christine: There is a so much there. And I can’t wait to unpack all of this with you because it’s such a great example of, we think we’re going to find the answer in this one thing, and we keep going down that road.

[00:16:07] And until we realize, Hey, that’s not actually what we were looking for, but we learned. Things along the way. So let’s go all the way back to you. Get married. You move for the first time. That’s a L with a baby. That’s a lot of transitions in a very short amount of time. So what were some of the things that were going through your head at that moment?

[00:16:32] Bree: At that moment. Um, I can be honest with you. I was struggling with postpartum depression at that time. So as much as I want to say, like, oh, I thought it was going to be fine. No, I was really struggling with does this baby even like me, because I’ll be fully transparent just for, even if there’s the one listener out there.

[00:16:56] Who maybe is like me, but I never was the person that’s like, I want to be a mom. Like for those who have that heart and feel like that was totally your calling since you were little, that was not my story. And it goes back to really. Um, I like to say that even though I advocate for marriage is I struggle with having a healthy relationship all my life, because at an early age, I found out that my father was not being faithful to my mom.

[00:17:24] And that had me stumbling through unhealthy relationships until. I found myself even having an abortion by myself, which wasn’t the lowest part. I actually said that I would marry someone who I found myself being strangled by. So I had been through these loads. Over and over again with relationships, I was afraid because of the decisions that I made, that I wouldn’t be a fit mom.

[00:17:54] And then to have to bring a little person into this world, which I knew could personally. Be cruel and could choke out their dreams and their goals. That wasn’t something that I wanted to sign up for. But here I found myself with a one month old going through all of these transitions and I had to realize and make a decision like that.

[00:18:18] I did one, I didn’t want to go through this alone. So I was so grateful to have. Been able to lean on my spouse and communicate with him and be honest with him about how I was feeling, what I was going through. Um, and so really at that moment I was confused, but I was grateful that I had someone who I can communicate with, to go through it with me, uh, and create a support system.

[00:18:45] Even if it looks like your spouse. And for some people, I highly encourage you to, to figure out how to let that be your spouse, but it may start out being another person. Start out by being someone that you find in community, it may start out as being someone that you admire and look up to and you reach out with that awkward message.

[00:19:08] Like, Hey, I really want to do coffee with you. Do you mind if we connect, um, getting that support in those moments are huge. And that’s really how I felt at that first party in transition was confused, but.

[00:19:24] Christine: Well, I mean, it says a lot about you that you were able to recognize them because that’s a lot of tough stuff to go through.

[00:19:31] I mean, there’s a lot of weight and, you know, trauma that you’re carrying and. You know, the worst thing that we can do is hold all of that in, you know, that healthy thing to do is be able to talk about what we’re going through, like how we’re struggling and so kudos to you for being able to recognize that and to be able to talk to your husband about it and, and to be able to.

[00:19:56] Through that together, because I know, you know, especially in times of transitions that can bring up a lot of things and it can be hard to navigate those seasons. So, um, kudos to you for that. And then I really have to say that I can totally relate to this idea. You know, being very driven and wanting to find that identity in what we do and what we’re comfortable with.

[00:20:23] And, um, just trying really hard to like, make it work, even when it doesn’t feel like it’s working for our family, because. Doing the same thing. I was trying to find work outside the home. And, you know, I had a toddler at home, a newborn while I was pregnant with my second child, I’m working, full-time have an hour commute each way.

[00:20:44] My husband is deployed and I am like completely overwhelmed and exhausted. I was so scared to let go of that job. That thing that, you know, I felt gave me the validation that I was looking for, but realizing that’s not really it, wasn’t going to meet the fulfillment that I need. I still felt empty inside.

[00:21:07] Bree: Yeah, absolutely. And I love that that’s similar in our stories. Um, and I know as we were catching up, you talked about like going and trying all the different types of careers and, um, different ways to continue to check that box for yourself. And I feel like I am grateful to have had the lessons learned to be able to share the wisdom on the other side.

[00:21:33] But man, if I knew what I knew now, um, that I didn’t have to go back after three weeks after having a little one. And I could maybe just sit in that moment and just say, you know what? This is a blessing that. Been given to our family. You are worthy of being a mom. You are worthy to take time and heal and rest, and you are worthy to not have to, um, position yourself to just fill this box in this title via this type of employment.

[00:22:04] I think, um, I can sing it from the rooftops now and encourage anyone please lean into that lean into those feelings because you’re absolutely right. Um, it is, it is something that I did struggle with and I can honestly say I was looking to find purpose and identity in roles, as opposed to getting still and quiet and finding it in just who I was uniquely created to be.

[00:22:32] Christine: So here’s my next question for you, because what you talked about is, you know, having that job that you were searching for fulfillment in, you’re trying to make it work for your family and you realize you’re not happy. You’re still looking for fulfillment. And so you start volunteering and trying to do all the things and overcoming.

[00:22:53] Yourself, which I can totally relate to because I have done it so many times. Every time we moved to a new base for the longest time, I would like say yes to everything and then realize that I was way over committed and stretched too thin. So, um, I can totally relate to that. But what, what you said was very interesting in that you got accolades for that, right?

[00:23:16] You were nominated for military spouse of the year. Because you were doing all those things. And sometimes we can figure out that, Hey, this isn’t working and I’m not selling fulfillment and we can walk away. But when you start getting those rewards and those accolades for that thing, what did that do to you?

[00:23:37] And did that make it more difficult to pull back?

[00:23:41] Bree: I actually feel like. A lot of the volunteerism you’re right. People. Um, give that to you as a badge of honor. And I will say that I am totally an advocate for paying people. They’re worth like volunteering. Definitely. Plays the world will not go around if we did not give of our time.

[00:24:03] And I truly do believe in the quote that services, the rent that we pay to live, but there is something special about compensating people too. And I think, um, as that volunteerism was a huge part of the packet, I think what got me, the overall recognition was the pod. The hearts and strikes podcast, where I focused on strengthening military marriage, and that didn’t come out of a heart of over committing and doing that came out of me being frustrated and seeing my friends and what we call here in this military community, my family falling apart there within a year’s time, we had like six friends.

[00:24:47] Decided to get a divorce or separate, or like, and I’m the friend who’s like, what do I have to Google? Can I pay for counseling? What do we have to do to keep this thing going? And it just got frustrating. So the podcast was really birthed out of me being frustrated and not being able to give someone tools, resources quickly to where they could lean into that and maybe resolve or work through their relationships.

[00:25:14] Because as amazing as chaplains are, that’s not the answer for everyone. Um, and we need to have a range of resources. So I think, um, To answer that question. I’m getting the accolades. It revealed something to me of kind of what other people value, um, that can, that they’re clapping for. Um, sometimes it is the doing and the volunteering, but I think the lesson in that was that.

[00:25:45] You have permission and you’re really shining in this role because of the heart behind the podcast and advocating for something bigger. So I would say for anyone who is like, I feel like I have to volunteer to get that golden star or to get the thing lean into. Um, the heart behind why you’re doing what you’re doing, because if you’re just doing it for the gold star, you could probably burn yourself out from that.

[00:26:14] But if you lean into the heart behind why you’re showing up, why you’re caring for those animals, why you’re, um, you know, feeding the homeless, why you’re doing these things that. Com and you can be rewarded in a healthier way, and it’s not by the applause of people, but you can figure out like, Hey, there may be something in there that is really fulfilling me.

[00:26:37] That is really more purpose driven. And it’s not just for the applause or the act.

[00:26:44] Christine: I love that so much because we talk about asking the question, why, why am I doing it? You know, what is actually going to lead me to a meaningful and fulfilling in life rather than, you know, what other people value, what they say I should want.

[00:27:01] It’s really figuring out what our sweet spot is and what lights us up and using that to help other people. And so asking that question of why. You’re doing that. Like what causes do you care about why are they speaking to you and really leaning into that, um, is going to provide so much more meaning and fulfillment, then you know, what you get for, or what other people say is important.

[00:27:29] That’s why we have our values of sense. To help each person get clear on what their core values are and help them lean into doing more of that rather than on what somebody says that we should be doing. Um, so I love that really the podcast came out of. This frustration that you have. And, and that’s one of the things we talk about in male spouse, purpose playbook is getting clear on who you want to serve.

[00:27:59] And part of that can go back to what causes you care about and what really frustrates you and how you can be a part of the solution. So talk to me about kind of this transition as you’re going through, you have a civil engineering background, but then you start doing. Events then you start the podcast.

[00:28:21] And what are the themes that kept emerging? Like what were you learning about yourself in the process?

[00:28:27] Bree: Yes. I love that question because it’s really how I was able to. I have this most recent pivot and finding that common thread, what does it say about me in all these different places and how do I keep showing up in these different areas and opportunities?

[00:28:44] And I would say the common thread for me that I keep discovering is that I love to design experiences. And I see that as an engineer on a more nerdy scale from a, how do I. To design and plan for these, for the long range of this mission. How do I want the people in the office to come together and build community?

[00:29:07] And what little things am I planning like during break hours so that people can come together and on this podcast, why am I talking about strengthening military marriages is because I want to see people have a little. Experience that is maybe different than what they currently see right now, or whatever the stereotype of this military life has to be hard.

[00:29:32] Like no let’s challenge that let’s lean into designing a different experience. And then the same with event planning that is literally what my clients and I work on is designing a transformative experience. For their client’s health so that they can come in, they can receive better, uh, the coaching or the hard truths that they may be, have to deliver in that room.

[00:29:59] Or they feel loved on, in a way that they had never been loved on because they’ve come to this retreat or this conference, the commonality there with all of it is designing an experience. And the experience that I’m really excited about that also came out of that podcast. Was military marriage day. This crazy idea that I had, if we could have a national taco day that we can totally have a military marriage day and it celebrated every year on August the 14th.

[00:30:28] And through that initiative, I get the opportunity to design an experience for our military married couples that is different. That is vibrant. That is exciting. That shares the stories of other, um, couples who have been there and done. That gets people the, that perspective, interrelationships of like what tools actually do I need to maybe lean into.

[00:30:53] And through that, I like to say that it’s grown into more than just a holiday, because with me designing experiences, I know that you need support 365. So now it looks like. A resource hub where you can go and check out amazing people like Dr. Lindsay, who was on the podcast here, um, her, her podcast and her coaching.

[00:31:19] Is a resource on military marriage day.com and getting people plugged in with more resources to help strengthen their military marriage so that they can design a marriage based off of their core values and they could thrive in their relationships. So that is just the common thread throughout it.

[00:31:41] Designing experiences, um, is really something that I feel purposed to do. And I’m also really comfortable with letting that continue to evolve as we continue through this journey, because that may be what we’re doing, you know, while we’re active duty and I will continue and have big vision for the, for the things I’ll design in the future.

[00:32:03] But designing. For me in my old age might just look like I’m having dinner. Parties, lit people and unlike retired and hanging out, it’ll still be the common thread that I get excited about doing, because I love to encourage important to people and just create something that is memorable and meaningful.

[00:32:25] Christine: I love that so much because it ties directly into what we talked about. As far as like figuring out purpose for each season and understanding that it evolves over time. And what we’re meant to do today is different from what we’re going to do in the next season. But really it’s finding those common threads, the things that speak to your heart, that light you up and leaning into that and see.

[00:32:50] Where that takes you. So I love that this is evolved from, Hey, I’m frustrated that I’m starting this podcast. Oh, what can I do to make life better? And how can I use everything all of my past experiences, my passions, and put this together into this plan. So talk a little bit more about how that day milit military marriage they came to be.

[00:33:12] And some of the other resources that you’ve created.

[00:33:18] Bree: So I love the backstory with military marriage day because it was one of those things where I like to say I’m not a t-shirt where, so even though I talked about like all the accolades prior to kind of got me seen and noticed for this title of being, um, air force, spouse of the year, still getting that title to me felt like.

[00:33:44] Okay. Now, what am I going to do? Which really the award is not meant for you to do something in addition, like that’s cool. If you do, you really can just receive that. Thank you. And like, that’s it. But for me, I like to say I’m not a, t-shirt where you’re not going to give me, uh, a recognition like this and.

[00:34:05] Get excited to chase after something really big. Um, and like I said, coming from that podcast, it was just like, how can we take this to the next level? And again, this is during the time of pandemic, people are shut in and locked up. You know, they can’t go out, they can’t really connect. And during that time we felt.

[00:34:27] The pandemic applied pressure to relationships to w if your relationship was going good, you had a great time maybe during the pandemic with your husband or your wife, and when you were putting pressure on those relationships, that weren’t so good. A lot of them did not survive, or a lot of that.

[00:34:47] Continue to get worse, but there was no where to go. Like they were stuck in these unhealthy relationships in this unhealthy environment and then dealing with the stresses of what was going on. So military marriage day is strategically six months from Valentine’s day. As opposed to February 14th, it’s August the 14th.

[00:35:11] So it gives you a second opportunity to share our love and a reason to celebrate. So if I can, this is a nerd moment. This is my engineering, uh, hanging out really quickly. But what I believe is what gets measured, gets managed. And what that looks like for military marriage day. It’s another opportunity for you to measure your relationship, how you are in your marriage, and then take the opportunity to manage it in a better way.

[00:35:42] By getting equipped with resources. Tools and with opportunities to celebrate the commitment that you made, that oath and that vowel celebrating the unit together. Because we believe that when our marriages are strong, our families are strong. When our families are strong, our community is strong and the.

[00:36:04] Our armed forces is that much more strong. So that is really what came to be with military marriage day. It was an opportunity to yet, again, pour into my community and do something that I love to do, which is designing experiences and creating an event. But one that is really intentional to educate and position people and resources that are already existing.

[00:36:33] To the community who wouldn’t really have the time to do all of the searching and things that I did when I felt like my family was falling apart. Um, due to all of the couples that we were around separating during this.

[00:36:48] Christine: Well, I know how important this is, um, because I know how many marriages are struggling because there’s so many factors that just make life challenging as a military family.

[00:37:01] So, um, first of all, just thank you for having this vision and carrying it out. So we talked about that isn’t August. What are some of the other resources that people can tap into today to help strengthen their.

[00:37:15] Bree: Yeah. So I think one of the things that I love that we provide, um, if you head over to military Mary’s day.com, of course you can find, uh, the resource hub, which has all of the different people and resources, podcasts, and books, um, that you can plug into.

[00:37:32] In addition to that, I think having that awareness that you’re not alone is really important. Each year we have committed to doing a military marriage survey. Um, and right now we have a qualitative report that has come out from 2020. We’ll have our qualitative, uh, or excuse me, our quantitative reports are.

[00:37:55] Our qualitative report is coming. Um, but essentially we’re doing white papers to inform, um, what is the common experience in our military marriages? And in that report, a lot of people saw themselves. They saw the truths, um, that came out of that report via the data. And so grateful that for the second year of doing that, we had over 500 people who participated to lend their voice to share.

[00:38:23] How their marriage is being impacted by this military life, which does a number of things. One of which it informs the resources that our armed forces positions for us that are free resources, free resources. It also helps those from the outside who wants to serve our communities. Also be better aware of what our community needs.

[00:38:47] So that is another great resource, um, to see yourself. And then if I can offer a third to all of my military spouses out there and service women, I actually created a community called the command collective community and into that community, that is where we come together. We support one another and we figure out what our goals look like and how we go through this journey together.

[00:39:15] As we are ambitious women in that community who wants to thrive. Personally with our mindset. We thrive in our marriage because we know that when our marriage as well, that other things will level up like a rising tide. And then we want to thrive in building a legacy and we support each other with, however, that looks for me, it’s entrepreneurship with someone else that may be working a nine to five.

[00:39:42] It’s the lifestyle that they want to do. And for someone else, it may be being a great stay at home mom and managing a legacy of love and faith that can carry on, uh, time and time again throughout the generation. So, um, I would invite anyone if you want it to com commit to joining a community of women that come in collective community is another resource that you can check.

[00:40:11] Christine: Okay, thank you so much. Those are such great resources. Let everybody know where they can get in touch with you. Where’s the best place to find all of these great resources.

[00:40:24] Bree: Yes. So I love to hang out on Instagram. You can find me at it’s Bri Carol. It’s the same on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn. It’s Bree.

[00:40:34] Kara. I will point you in the right directions there. And then if you are interested in celebrating with us and I invite everyone to the party for military marriage day, you can definitely connect with us@militarymarriageday.com and on the social media platforms at military marriage.

[00:40:54] Christine: Love that so much as we wrap up today.

[00:40:56] One last question. When you think back through your journey as a military spouse and all of the lessons that you have learned along the way, what would you love to know or share with a new military spouse starting out on this journey to say to them, some of the heartaches that you have been through?

[00:41:18] Bree: I think the lesson that I.

[00:41:22] Would share is that it’s in the doing, and the reason why I’m going to say it’s in the doing, um, even, you know, being a recovering over doer, right? It’s in trying it betting on yourself. Like you have to do the things to get the lesson. I feel like I could tell you and give you the cheat sheet to all the things, but you’d never believe me.

[00:41:49] If you never tried and did it for yourself, I could tell you you’d be an amazing entrepreneur, but you never believe me until you take the first step and apply to get your own LLC. I could tell you that you could be a great wife and mom and that your marriage would thrive. But guess what? You’d never.

[00:42:06] Really understand that and see what that felt like. If you didn’t take that first step to look into your spouse’s eyes and tell them how much you love them, even though it may be uncomfortable. Cause you just had an argument it’s really in the doing. And I encourage you for anyone who is making. Been hesitant about taking action about leaning into your purpose, about leaning into a crazy idea that maybe you have that it’s in the doing that you learn these lessons that you build and work that muscle to where you can go on and do some amazing things.

[00:42:40] And don’t sell yourself short because in the doing, you start to find out how awesome you really are.

[00:42:47] Christine: Thank you so much for that, because it really is all about taking action. And we can talk all day long about finding purpose, finding fulfillment as a military spouse, uh, learning how to thrive, learning how to build a healthy marriage, learning how to pursue your purpose.

[00:43:03] But if you never take that first step, you’re never going to get where you’re going. So it really does come down to. Taking action, taking that first step that maybe a little bit out of your comfort zone, but that’s where you’re going to experience the growth and ultimately stepping into who you are meant to be.

[00:43:21] So thank you so much for sharing with us today. We will have all of those. In the show notes below. So I definitely would love for you to go check out all of those great resources, go listen to the hearts and stripes podcast. And, um, just thanks for being with us and bringing all of this great information to us today.

[00:43:44] Bree: Yes. Thank you so much for having me.

[00:43:47] Christine: Okay guys. I hope you got as much out of that episode is I did, as I mentioned, I will have all of those links for you in the show notes, go over there and check those out. Go check out the hearts in stripes podcast, we will have more information as we get closer to military marriage day to help you strengthen your relationship with your spouse.

[00:44:11] If you have not done. So please go over to iTunes and leave a review of the show so more people can find the show. And this can be another military resource for military spouses who want to get unstuck and learn to thrive and craft lives with purpose. If you leave that review by tomorrow, March 15th. And you let me know that you left that review either by tagging me in your stories, or by sending me an email with a screenshot of your review, you will be entered to win one all-access pass into MilSpouse Purpose Playbook.