Reflecting On “The Year of the PCS”

[00:00:00] Christine: At the beginning of 2021, I published my first year in review on my blog. It was called, hindsight is 2020. Later in 2021, I launched this podcast and every year now I try to share my reflections on the past year with you. And this year was I took that to the next level and shared monthly recap. With you, my wins, my struggles, and what I was learning along the way.

[00:00:34] And if you have been along for this ride, you know there were quite a few bumps in the road this year, but now it’s the time to reflect on the year as a whole. What were my biggest wins, not just for an individual month, but for my entire year? And why does looking at the past matter so much? How is it going to help us thrive in 2023? I can’t wait to unpack all of this with you. So let’s go ahead and get started with today’s episode.

Plan Your 2023

[00:02:06] Have you ever asked yourself, what if this year could be different? What if this. You didn’t go into the year thinking that life is hard, that it doesn’t look the way that you want it to, that you’re not sure how to change or how to make it better. You just are waiting for that next season, that next thing.

[00:02:32] But what if this year could be different? No. You don’t have to move. No. Your spouse doesn’t have to be deployed. Not be deployed, be. On a new shift at work, it’s all about you, and nothing about your external circumstances has to change for your life to change. What if you could focus on what you can do right now with what you have and create a year full of possibility and opportunity and life, one where you start to feel like yourself.

[00:03:10] That’s why I want you to register for the plan, your 2023 workshop. We’re gonna talk about how to make real growth happen for you in 2023, how you can change your life right where you’re at. We’ll talk about what’s not working for you, what’s actually attainable, and how to make progress on the things that matter most to.

[00:03:38] If you have a dream on your heart, but you’re not sure how to make that dream a reality, or you don’t even know where to begin, then the plan your 2023 workshop is for you un. All you have to do is go to milspouse mastermind.com/plan your 2023 to. And when you do, you’ll get a free goal setting workbook to go along with it.

Planning Your Year Begins with Reflection

[00:04:08] And this is going to give you step by step questions for you to answer my 10-step process. To plan your 2023 and set yourself up for success and true. This year. All right let’s go ahead and talk about my year in review. And let me go start by saying why this is so important. I think there’s so many people out there that start with these idea of setting intentions for the year, looking ahead.

[00:04:42] But we gain so much insight into who we are, where we’re struggling, and what we need to, what we need our focus to be. When we take the time to reflect, we can take that information and apply it to our life moving forward. Now if you have been around for the monthly recaps, you can kind of go back and remember what happened.

My 2022 Year in Review

[00:05:05] But let me just give you an overview of my 2022. So we start off the year strong in January am like this is a great month that we move into February and I end up with walking pneumonia. And it took me several weeks to recover. We move into March. We take a three-week trip around the world, 25 hours of flying with three small children to get back to the states to attend a conference, visit some family.

[00:05:33] Get back then we have 24 hour’s notice that the movers are coming to pack up all our stuff to ship that off. Because our orders on our move have been delayed. And so we did not get things shipped off when we were hoping to. Which set off a whole chain of events of having to live a lot longer without our stuff of our car shipment being delayed and trying to work through all of that.

[00:06:01] But that was kind of April setting ourselves up for an OCONUS PCS moving from one island to another in. We actually move. But we don’t have any of our stuff, so we’re trying to say goodbye to friends, get settled in our new home while we try to figure out how much longer it’s going to be without any of our stuff, we are able to take a quick.

[00:06:29] Family vacation at the beginning of June, which was amazing before my husband started his new job. Which is a very time intensive position. But that is in June. While I’m trying to get settled get the kids registered for school, figure out all of the things that come with setting up a full.

[00:06:52] In a new place that you have never been to before? At the very end of July, we finally get our household goods after four months. At the week that, or like a day before my kids start school, because they started so super early. But rolling into August, getting adjusted to a new school finding our rhythm and that’s really, I guess I would say August, really August through November was trying to.

[00:07:24] Figure out how to rebuild momentum in my business to continue to show up, to continue to get settled and, and just coming to this realization of how much work really goes into setting up a life in a brand new place. And, and just coming to terms with, Hey, you’re not going to hit all of the goals you had for yourself, and you have to be okay with.

[00:07:50] Even though we talk about flexible goal setting, Even though I know it’s progress, not perfection, the process, the journey that matters, not the outcome, not the destination, not hitting that thing, that goal, that number. But there’s still this sense of I wish that I was accomplishing more or that I was moving as fast as other people.

[00:08:15] To do the mindset work, to shift my mind and remind myself what truly matters, what is important to me, and am I making the most of where I’m at right now and doing the best I can with what I have. And, and so that’s kind of 2022 in a very. Quick recap but let’s talk about some of my big wins, my big struggles, and then what I learned.

My Wins

[00:08:47] And I have a few lessons that I believe are going to help all of us as we move into it A new year. Number one, the, the biggest. I would say is the ability to prove to myself that I could be consistent with the podcast because that was my number one goal moving into the year. I wanted to set metrics based on how many downloads we got and all of these other metrics that a lot of people track, and I just felt like this is not the year to focus on hitting a number because there is nothing that I can do or not do that’s going to make me move fast to that.

[00:09:27] Faster that is going to move the needle. There are too many things outside of my control this year and I have to be okay with the reality of my life situation right now. And that was a really smart decision even though like it was really hard to do that at the. My number one goal was to be consistent and I, and I was, I released at least one podcast episode every single week.

[00:09:56] This year, even when I was on the road for multiple weeks at a time, I was able to batch content and, and continue to show up and pour into you each week, and, and that was a major win for me. We. Our one year anniversary of the podcast, we hit the 10,000 download mark, which is not huge in podcast world.

[00:10:19] Also, there are so many podcasts that never make it to that mark. So I want to take that opportunity to celebrate those wins, to share them with you and to say, okay, we are celebrating that the journey that we’re on. And a lot of people are not consistent up to that point. And a lot of people move faster past that point.

[00:10:38] But we are going to celebrate where we are at. in the journey. So those were some definite wins for me. We hit we also hit a hundred episodes on the podcast this year, and I was able to get my acceptance and commitment therapy certification. So a lot of good things happened. And then just things that were just good about life this year that I, I.

[00:11:05] I think it’s important to take that time to celebrate and to practice gratitude for just the number of opportunities I had to spend on the beach, at the ocean. Getting to see amazing rainbows and sunrises and sunsets and hikes and, and just trying to be present with the beauty that was all around.

[00:11:28] There was a lot of really good progress on the intangible things, working on my mindset this year. Healing some of my burnout and learning how to properly address. My stress and anxiety and overwhelm and, and strategies that are helping me and that I know are going to help you as well. So those are all things that I am truly, truly grateful for this year that I count as big ones.

[00:11:57] And when we do our plan, our 2023 together, I’m gonna give you specific questions that you can ask if you have not already taken time to evaluate the. Year. But I truly, truly encourage you whether you register for the workshop or not. Please take some time to reflect on your ear and think about what.

[00:12:21] Good things happen, what you can truly be grateful for, because even if it felt like the worst year ever, there is some good that can be found in every situation in every year there are. There is so much goodness. If we will look for it, you will find what you are looking for. I know every year has its own challenges and we all have areas where we struggle, but I always recommend starting with gratitude, starting with the things that we can be thankful for.

[00:12:58] And it’s so interesting, I was reflecting on, well, I was looking through my pictures from 2022 and because when I. To this year, and when I look back on it, it’s easy to say. That was a PCS year. PCS years, especially when you were moving overseas. You’re gonna be living without 95% of your belongings for multiple months on end.

[00:13:25] It feels hard. In, in many, many ways. But when I took the time just to look through my photo album and see all of the things that we got to experience this year, it was just that reminder of so many good things happen. Even if it was a hard year, like you have an amazing highlight reel on your phone, Christine.

[00:13:47] It’s, it’s just refocusing and, and being able to focus on the good, so. , when we talk about where I really struggled this year, it was really in the move and, and trying to show up in a way where it felt like a normal year and that just was not possible. When we are doing a major move, I just cannot make the progress and accomplish the things that I would.

[00:14:19] if I were not in a moving year, especially an OCONUS PCS, I feel like the times that we have moved from one state to another, there is definitely a sense of it takes time to move, to get set up, to rebuild all of your. Connections and, and to really have that community, to have those support systems to build a life in a new location.

[00:14:48] But that’s just exacerbated by moving overseas and feeling like you’re living in limbo for so many months. On end, it was four months without our stuff and. We just kind of got out of our normal rhythms and routines and things that I do to set myself up to thrive, and those weren’t all available to me.

[00:15:11] And so it was just this constant evaluation of, okay, what can I do with what I have right now? I’m continuing to say how can I make the most of this season that I’m in and how can I be grateful for what I have, even if it’s not what I would choose in this season? And, and to be able to say I cannot compare myself to other people how fast they are moving.

[00:15:38] To what they’re accomplishing. But when I look at how far I’ve grown as a person and in my ability to thrive in the midst of challenging circumstances compared to our last PCS and how I’m doing at managing my stress and my overwhelm, I have definitely. Taken steps in the right direction to know how to do this in a more healthy way.

[00:16:09] To figure out, okay, what does work, what can I do? And like I said, I was able to be consistent with, with releasing a podcast episode every single week this year, even in the midst of the move. And so while there were so many things that really challenged me, I feel. Leaning into the heart and reminding myself that progress takes place outside of my comfort zone.

[00:16:39] True growth requires us to get uncomfortable. to not stay. where we feel safe and comfortable, but we are stepping closer to becoming who we’re meant to be. So all of these in all of these challenges lies opportunity for growth and for taking that next step on our journey and to truly living a life.

[00:17:09] Purpose. So when I reflect on the year, there are a few lessons that really stand out to me, things that I think are really going to help me moving forward. And I think they are going to help you as we move into 2023 together. And so I just want to quickly unpack some of my biggest lessons learned with you.

8 Takeaways From “The Year of the PCS.”

[00:17:34] I have eight takeaways for us today, and I’ll try to walk through them with you quickly. Number one, this work takes a tremendous amount of grace for ourselves and others. The more, the longer that I’ve been at military spouse, the more that I move, the more. We just deal with all of these obstacles, challenges that get thrown into our path.

[00:18:01] The more I realize that I have to give myself grace and to understand that I did the best that I could with what I had, and that is. enough that I cannot hold myself to an unrealistic standard. And I realize for some people that’s not so much of an issue. But if you are a type A person like me, that can be hard when you are unable to make progress on the things that you really want to do when you can’t do all the things that you want to do when there are so many things that prevent you from.

[00:18:39] Accomplishing the goal that you set out for yourself. And so, number one, to be able to give myself grace. And the second takeaway goes along with this, and this is something that I am continuing to learn and reflect on in my journey, and it’s this idea of my ultimate. Goal because I can get so focused on accomplishment in wanting to hit those numbers and wanting to check the theme off the to-do list.

[00:19:15] But I have learned and am learning to ask myself, what is the true goal? What really matters is my goal, whole person. or goal accomplishment because as I talked about last week, there are so many people that say you have to be a go-getter. Do whatever it takes to hit that goal. And when you put everything else aside to hit that one goal, it is possible.

[00:19:50] But is that what truly matters in the end? So say for example, that you are trying to hit a certain number of followers on your social account and you can do whatever it takes to get to that number, to reach that goal, whatever that goal looks like for you. , but is that what ultimately matters? Is that more important than you showing up and being present in your life, in being able to have healthy ways of dealing with your stress, of making sure you are caring for yourself, for others, and for pursuing your purpose?

[00:20:32] And the answer may be yes, A goal may be that important, that it, it takes putting life out of balance to hit that goal for a season. Obviously we know that’s not sustainable, but it’s really being able to take a step back and have an objective lens. When we look at the goals we are pursuing and say, is it worth.

[00:20:56] Doing whatever, putting these other elements of my life that are important to me, caring for myself or being present with my family, is it worth it to put those goals on a back burner to achieve this one thing? What is the ultimate goal for me? And so that was the question I was asking myself. Is my ultimate goal whole person health, or is it accomplishing this one?

[00:21:24] So number three, my, my third takeaway is that the more work we do on ourselves, the, the time we spend investing in ourselves and our health, the more that it equips us. To handle the difficult moments in life. I look back and think about the first time I PCs and how overwhelming it felt going through all of these elements that I never experienced before.

[00:22:00] And here we are at. What, I don’t know, number six, seven. I don’t, I, I’ve lost track of how many PCSes, how many houses we’ve lived in. And I feel like in many senses they’ve gotten more complicated, but I feel more equipped to handle them because I now have that memory that says, Hey, this is hard. This season is not.

[00:22:26] but this season won’t last forever. It will get better. I will feel more settled. Eventually, I will meet people. We will eventually have our household goods. Goods again. I will get to sleep in my own bed again. So the more that we go through and the more work that we do, On ourselves, the better equipped we are for the next time, for the difficult moments in life when they do happen.

[00:22:58] The fourth big takeaway for me was just, The importance of working on my mindset. Now I know this to be true, this is why we talk a lot about mindset, about our mental frame of reference for things. And this year was just another opportunity for me to continue to learn more, to put this into practice and to understand that I have a.

[00:23:29] you have a choice. What we focus on truly matters. We can focus on what’s going on around us, how life doesn’t feel fair. We can focus on how fast others seem to be moving or making progress, or having things that we wish. We’re true of our lives that we can focus on all the things that we feel like we are lacking or that are lacking in our own life, or we can focus on what we can control.

[00:24:04] We can focus on the good, we can focus on reframing our thoughts and making progress on the things that matter what we. Focus our mind on will affect our thoughts and ultimately our beliefs, and ultimately how we live our life. Our thoughts matter so much, and it is possible to hack our mindset, to change our thoughts and to truly live.

[00:24:38] As the person we want to be, we can think ourselves into a new life, but this ability to hack our mindset is so important. The fifth big takeaway for me is just to, again, going back to this idea of comparison, because obviously it is something that I struggle with on a regular basis and just being completely transparent here.

[00:25:08] And I am constantly working on developing those tools to have those tools in my tool belt to deal with those thoughts when they arrive. But the fifth point is that we will not all achieve. The same things, but we can all move the needle and we can keep the needle pointed in the right direction.

[00:25:33] Someone may make more progress than us. They may achieve more than us. And so again, what truly matters. It’s, are we moving the needle? Do we have the needle pointed in the right direction? We may not all accomplish the thi same things, but we can all move the needle. When we put the focus on who we are becoming and in what we are supposed to do, how we want to show up.

[00:26:08] The question is, Did I point the needle in the right direction and did I make progress on the things that matter? The sixth big takeaway in my life is that hope is foundational to living a life with purpose. And I talked about this some in the episode that I did on Joy, but hope is a foundational element.

[00:26:35] To feel hopeless, is to feel like nothing you do matters. That no matter how hard you try, it will not work. That you cannot make a difference, that your life cannot be better. So we have to have this element of. That something better is possible, that a change is possible, that we don’t necessarily understand when it might happen or how it might happen, or what exactly is possible.

[00:27:06] We just have to know that there is a possibility of something different or better. . So my question for you, right where you are at is do you feel that sense of hope? Do you feel that sense of powerlessness and feeling like life is just hard or do you feel like there is that sense of hope in you and it, you don’t have to have the answers.

[00:27:34] It doesn’t have to be big, but there has to be that sense of. inside of you, and if you don’t feel that hope, then I would definitely encourage you to reach out, talk to someone, because none of us should stay in this place of feeling hopeless. Hope is foundational to live a life with. Purpose. The seventh big takeaway for us from my 2022 is that when you go through a challenging time, you need to give your body time and space to rest and reflect and refresh and just renew yourself because you have been under a lot of additional stress.

[00:28:26] Now, we all need rest on a regular basis in order for us to sustainably live. With purpose. But when we have these seasons where there is additional stress on our bodies and in our minds, then we need additional time to refresh, to let our body process all of those feelings and emotions in a healthy way.

[00:28:59] We, we can’t stay in this elevated space of stress. and challenge all of the time. Our body needs time to recover from those seasons and, and this is why I think it’s so important for us to have that awareness of ourselves and our feelings and our emotions to be able to say, Hey. My circumstances are asking a lot of me right now, and so I need to be able to take some additional time to recover, to let my body come back to a safe space.

[00:29:39] Our nervous system just needs time to calm itself down, and so having that time, Renew our bodies and our minds and our self after a difficult season is so important. So if you have, for example, let’s say your spouse is been on a one year deployment and they come home, You have been under a tremendous amount of extra stress that you are carrying.

[00:30:12] You are carrying the weight, your nervous system, your body feels all of that, and you have to allow yourself time to recover. We. Our bodies are capable of doing amazing things, of learning to be resilient in difficult situations, but we also have to be aware of and care for our bodies and give ourselves time to recover after a difficult.

[00:30:40] Season. And so that was, you know, a big takeaway for me that even though I am developing all of these strategies to build my resilience, my body still needs time to recover. And then the last thing I would say, my big takeaway for 2022 is goes back to this idea of mindset. What we focus on matters so much.

[00:31:08] So fill your mind with the things that fuel you and fill you with life, the things that bring you joy, the things that allow you to live a fulfilling life, a life of meaning, a purpose, a life that both lights you up, brings you joy and allows you to make a difference in the lives of. What we focus on matters so much.

[00:31:37] So just to quickly recap my biggest lessons from 2022. Number one, give yourself grace. You did the best you could with what you had. Number two, when you are evaluating a goal, ask yourself what matters most achieving the goal or whole person. Number three, the internal work we do on ourselves will help us in the long run.

[00:32:07] We will show up better equipped for the next challenge. Number four, mindset work. The ability to rewire your brain and change your thinking is key to navigating this journey. Well, number five, we will not all achieve the same thing or accomplish the same end goal, but we can all move the needle towards what.

[00:32:36] Don’t stay stuck or give up just because you aren’t feeling like you’re making as much progress as someone else. Number six, hope is the foundation for a fulfilling life. You have to believe that something better exists and is possible or you will stay stuck. Number seven, your nervous system needs a.

[00:33:05] Understand that we can develop resilience and do hard things, but we also have to take time to care for ourselves and refill our tanks, or we will eventually burn out. Our bodies will keep the score. Number eight, what you focus on matters. So ask yourself, what are you filling your mind with and focusing on right now?

[00:33:37] So eight lessons that I learned this year that I think are going to help us. Perhaps there is one in particular that stood out to you that you really wanna take with you in 2023. Maybe you just need to spend a few minutes listening to this, reflecting on this, letting your body have an awareness. What you’re feeling about these concepts that I brought up, 

If you want to know more about a particular concept or if there’s a lesson that you are really resonating with and you want to take that with you into 2023, I would love for you to pop over inside our Facebook community share which lesson resonated most with you. And I would also love to hear if you did your own reflections on this last year and what your big takeaways were. Because we are better together friends, and I want all of us to have an amazing. Year of growth and learning and development, and learning how to become more resilient military spouses to thrive in the midst of adversity, but to care for ourselves along the way.

[00:34:54] I hope this was meaningful to you. I hope that you are giving yourself lots of grace and that you are ready and full of hope and excitement for the year ahead. I hope you have an amazing week. I will see you back here again on Monday. Until then, may you live filled, fueled, and full of joy.