[00:00:00] Hello friends. Welcome back to the MilSpouse Mastermind show, another bonus episode this week. Today we are talking about my annual Top 10 book recommendations books that I think you should absolutely consider adding to your reading list this year. Or if you don’t have a reading. Then maybe it’s time to start one.

[00:00:23] But these are books that I think will really help you thrive as a military spouse, and I can’t wait to unpack all of them with you. Let you know which books were most impactful in my own life this year. 2022 was a game changer for me, and I can. Wait to unpack with you why that was, what actually happened and why I believe setting a reading goal for your year is such a valuable goal to have.

[00:00:58] All right, you ready? Let’s get started with my top 10 book recommendations of 2022 to help you thrive as a military spouse.

[00:01:58] If you are listening to this episode on the day it comes out, the plan, your 2023 workshop is today, and I so hope that you are joining. For this workshop because I’m going to talk about how we set up flexible goals for our lives that allow us to move towards the goals and dreams on our heart. Now, if you’re saying to yourself, I don’t know what goals are actually on my heart.

[00:02:28] That’s okay because we’re going to walk through some exercises to help you unpack what’s really important to you and how to determine what you want to focus on in 2023. I don’t want you to fall into the trap of believing that you have to wait for some. Future season to actually have a life. You love to be able to pursue a dream on your heart.

[00:02:54] It is possible to have a life where you fully live and live with purpose Today. It can start. This year, this month, this week, this very day. So if you have not already registered, if you are unable to join us live, but you’re still interested in really living with intention in 2023, then just head over to milspouse mastermind.com.

[00:03:23] Forward slash plan your 2023 where you’ll be able to join us live or download a replay of the workshop and you get your own workbook to go along with it to help you plan out your intentions for 2023 and how to actually make progress and make real growth happen in your. If 2023 is the year that you stop focusing on what’s wrong with your life and start stepping into your story, focusing on what’s possible and truly living a life with purpose, then I am ready to do this with you, and I’m excited for what is going to happen in your.

[00:04:12] This year. Now, when we go through this training, I’m going to talk about one of the goals, one of the things that has been a part of my life for the last few years, and that is really having a. Reading list for myself, setting a goal of how many books I want to read in the coming year, because for years I did not read very much.

[00:04:39] I got out of school and spending all of that time reading books that I had to read for school. I was just like, . I wanted a break, and so I kind of stopped reading a lot, and then one day I looked at my life and said, I haven’t really read a whole lot of books in a very long time, but I loved reading as a kid and I know that leaders are.

[00:05:06] Readers. So let’s talk about how I shift this reality in my life. And I started slowly reading again because I wanted to read something that I actually enjoyed that really helped me grow. And I think the first year that I said, okay, I’m gonna get back into reading, it was something simple like, I’m gonna try to read six books this.

[00:05:36] and one book every other month is something that I believe I can carve out time for, even with young kids at home. And then slowly over the years, I would add to that list and then for the last few years, I’ve had a goal of reading 25 books each year, which is roughly two books a month, and then a few years back I started doing my top 10 books of the year as a blog post, and that has translated to the podcast.

[00:06:10] So now I love getting. Jump on here and say, okay, out of what I read this year, these are 10 books that I think you should consider adding to your reading list. Now 2022 was a complete game changer for me, a complete shift in my reading, and it’s basically because of this one reason, because I got an audible subscription.

[00:06:40] Now I know there those of you that are very much. . I only read books that I can physically touch, but I’ve shared before on the podcast that I am a big Kindle reader because the app is on my phone and because I can have it with me at all times, I love the ability to just be able to read a few pages with me when I’m standing in line, wherever I’m at, to just have that book.

[00:07:14] Be available with me and I’m not feeling like I’m having to carry something around with me all the time, and I can still read. But in 2022, I decided to get an audible subscription and. Mainly I decided to do this because we got the American Express credit card, which is free if you are a military family, and they offer a credit for digital subscriptions.

[00:07:41] So it essentially can make Audible free for you because they reason reimburse you up to a certain amount each month. So I said, let’s try listening to audiobooks and oh my goodness, it just works for the season of life that I’m in. And no, I’m not physically reading the book. I didn’t, you know, sit down and say I accomplished going through this many pages this year, but my number of books that I actually got through drastic.

[00:08:14] Increased and I read or absorbed, or however you wanna call it, 51 books this year, which is far more than the 25 books I’ve been averaging for the last few years. Now. I probably read fewer books than I have read. I only read 15 books. This. , but I listened to 36 books in 2022, and when I say I read 51 books, I’m not just talking about listening to fiction books because I love to get lost in a story as much as the next person.

[00:09:00] But I really spend a lot of my. listening and reading non-fiction books particularly in the self-help personal development memoir and business space. So I know there are plenty of people out there who have read way more books than I have this year. And so if you were looking for fiction recommendations to add to your list, there are plenty of people out there that can probably offer you more recommendations than I can.

[00:09:34] But I read nine fiction books this year and 42 nonfiction books this year. So what we’re gonna do is I decided I’m going to do my top 10 recommendations a little bit differe. I’m gonna go through my top 10 non-fiction recommendations of the year, and then I’ll just give you a little bonus at the end and tell you a few of my favorite fiction books that I read this year.

[00:10:06] Okay? So I’m gonna look at this as top 10 non-fiction books that I read in 2022 that have been impactful in my own life, or that I really feel. Are going to help you thrive as a military spouse, and this is not in any particular order. So here we go. Number one, the happiness Trap. How to stop struggling and Start Living by Russ Harris.

[00:10:35] This book dives into the principles of acceptance and commitment therapy, known as act, and how it can be used to reduce our. Worry, break self-defeating habits, improve our performance, and ultimately find fulfillment. And this book was my first real introduction to act and one of the reasons I went on to get a coaching certification in this particular therapy and how to apply it in a coaching model.

[00:11:10] I don’t wanna go into all of the tenets of the book here, but. What I loved about the ACT model and about what he talked about in the book is that the concepts in the book were very similar to what I already teach and believe in. This idea of how we develop emotional resilience and learn how to build a life that aligns with our values and to practically move towards that and take.

[00:11:41] The actions that lead us to the life we truly. It’s really easy to get stuck trying to chase after happiness. But what we really want comes from taking action that aligns with our values, because in the process we discover who we’re meant to be and we really. Find what we’re all after, which is a life of meaning and purpose.

[00:12:12] Happiness comes as a byproduct of the life that we truly want, which is a life of meaning and purpose, not from pursuing happiness, and this book does a great job of encapsulating that viewpoint. The second book that I really enjoyed this. Was the one thing, this is a classic personal development productivity book, and I had just never gotten around to reading it before.

[00:12:41] It’s been on my list for a while. And I don’t know that there was anything in this book that I really hadn’t heard the concept before, but it. A good motivating book and just a great reminder that when we try to prioritize too many things at one time, it doesn’t really work. We have to be able to.

[00:13:04] Prioritize what matters most and tune out the distractions. It goes into why multitasking is actually not something that serves us, that is not going to help us. But what actions and habits actually boost our productivity and help us create a balanced. The third book, that was really good. Not necessarily an easy book to read.

[00:13:31] I was a little surprised at how long and it stayed on a bestseller list because especially the first half is a little dry and hard to get through, but the body keeps the score was really, really good. It is by Bessel Vander. and it is a really excellent book at describing what trauma is, how trauma impacts our lives, how it impacts our physical health and wellbeing.

[00:14:07] How do we actually deal with that trauma? The author worked a lot with P T S D and figuring. Hey, here are all the things we tried. Here’s what didn’t work. Here’s what we learned, and here’s what we have found to be effective therapies for dealing with trauma, dealing with P T S D, dealing with childhood trauma and how that impacts us as adults.

[00:14:39] I think the big takeaway from the book is that while trauma leaves plenty of scars and challenges and truly impacts our bodies physically, we are not victims. We can’t control what happens to us, but we have control. What we do with our life now, and we don’t have to stay stuck where we are. So not the easiest read, but a really good and powerful book.

[00:15:15] Number four on my list this year was Eat. Dates by Dr. John Gottman and his wife, Julie Schwartz Gottman. Together they founded the Gottman Institute where they teach research based approaches to marriage therapy and how to strengthen relationships. Dr. Gottman. Eight basic principles for improving your marriage.

[00:15:43] But what he did with this particular book is that they took these eight principles and turned them into eight dates, one about each topic, so it gives you an overview of what the topic is, why it’s important to your marriage, and then it gives you suggestions for a date, and then questions to discuss related to that.

[00:16:06] While you’re on that date my husband and I have done a few of these dates and the questions have all been really good at generating really good conversation and discussion. I know sometimes it can kind of, there are certain topics that it’s just kind of awkward to bring up on your own, and so having a discussion guide to walk you through questions helps facilit.

[00:16:33] That conversation and healthy relationships. So I definitely recommend that book, especially if you are one teen to work on strengthening your marriage. The fifth book that made the top 10 list this year. Was Evolve your brain, the science of changing Your Mind by Dr. Joe Dispenza. And one of my goals for this year was to gain a deeper understanding of our mindset and how our thoughts.

[00:17:04] Influence our actions and behaviors. This was the first book that I really dove into on this topic and . It was deep science was not my favorite subject in school, so I kind of had to laugh when I’m sitting here by choice, listening to a book, all about the science of our brain. , but it was fascinating to me in a way that science class never really was understanding how our brains and our minds work, how we process information and what actually is going on in our brain when we’re trying to change our thoughts or change our behaviors.

[00:17:48] There is so much inform. in this book, but it was really insightful and a really good introduction to understanding our mindset and our thoughts and how they influence us. Number six was the Compound Effect by Darren Hardy, which is another classic book, but one that I had never got around to reading before.

[00:18:13] It’s all about how we developed the habits and the actions that actually create. The life and the results that we want. It is a good motivational read that basically goes into the principle of making today matter and how it is those small. Seemingly insignificant actions that truly lead us to a life of purpose and a life of impact.

[00:18:42] The framework he gives is that our choices plus our consistency plus time is what actually leads us to reap those big rewards. So good motivational read, if you just need that reminder that all of the ways that we show up on a. Basis, those small choices that we make that don’t seem to have a big payoff over time, they really do pay off.

[00:19:14] Number seven on the list. Make room for joy. Choose hope, discover purpose, and cultivate joy in the middle of life’s most complicated seasons by Vanessa Joy Walker. Now, my word of the year was joy. I have an episode I will link in the show notes below that I did specifically on how we cultivate joy in our life, and I reference this book in that episode.

[00:19:43] I really wanted to tap into joy this year in a new way because joy doesn’t depend on our circumstances or things going the way that we want them to. Life is complicated. Some seasons are complicated. And when I settled on this word of the year, I had some health issues going on. I knew we were gonna be making a major PCs across the world, and I really wanted to.

[00:20:11] Despite what happens this year, how does it look? How can I more fully live with joy? And it was really this memoir along with Brene’s book, Atlas of the Heart that really gave me some good language to unpack this concept this year. And the author of the book talks about, she walked through a whole lot of stuff, an abusive relationship.

[00:20:37] She went through. Multiple rounds of cancer a lot of childhood issues, and talked about how to find joy in the midst of everything that was going on, where she struggled, and the ways that she still struggles, and how she chooses to show up every day. It’s one of these part memoir part. Here’s what I learned through my journey stories.

[00:21:03] So I don’t know if that resonates with you, but if you are looking for a way to really tap into joy despite what’s going on in your life, I would definitely recommend that. Or just go listen to episode one 20 of the show where we talk about the five keys that help us tap into a life of joy regardless of our circum.

[00:21:26] And side note, yes, I did read Brene’s book, Atlas of the Heart and no, it did not make my top 10 because I think there’s a lot of good information in there, but it was also out of all of her books, which the sustained a lot because I do love Brene and most of her books have been absolutely amazing. But this one was, Not as easy of a read, so just thought I’d throw that in there.

[00:21:51] But number eight on my list this year was cleaning up Your Mental Mess by Dr. Caroline Leaf, and this was another really good mindset book about the science. Of managing our mind and how our thoughts become our reality. And she has a very specific mind management technique that she teaches to help us.

[00:22:17] Deal with and eliminate anxiety and stress and how we change toxic thoughts in our body. There’s a really a lot of good stuff in here. And it, I really wanna dig into more of her other books where she talks about how we go about and really optimize our think. But that was another good one. Number nine on the list is triggers.

[00:22:44] This was a book I actually stumbled on by accident. I actually read two books with this title this year, but this one is by Marshall Goldsmith. It was recommended in my Libby library, which is I have the digital library through the Department of Defense. Is another way to get a lot of these books without having to pay for them.

[00:23:08] The thing you need to know about getting books from the digital library is that number one, you have to like, say you want it sometimes months before it becomes available, and then you only have two weeks to read it. So, It’s not the easiest thing if you want it to be available when you wanna read it or if you don’t have a lot of time to devote to the book right when it’s available to you.

[00:23:35] But it is an excellent way to get to read a whole lot of books for free. But the subtitle of this book was Creating Behavior that Lasts Becoming the person you want to be. And I’m like, hello. I am all about helping people become the people. The person you wanna be. And, and really his thing is he is a behavior coach.

[00:23:59] And not just how we change a habit, but specifically focused on shifting interpersonal behavior. So he goes a lot into how we change our behaviors, the people that he has worked with, how we specifically ask questions to measure our progress, and, and this book goes on the list because it was a catalyst for me to change the way that I was tracking my own progress and some of the questions I was asking myself on a regular basis.

[00:24:36] Track my progress and how I’m showing up on a daily and weekly basis. He is also a huge advocate for accountability and the role that accountability plays in our ability to achieve any meaningful and lasting change in our lives. So that was another really. Impactful read in my own life because it gave me a new framework and some insights that I hadn’t gotten from some of the other books that I read.

[00:25:13] And then number 10, rounding out my top 10 nonfiction reads The year, this year was a memoir. The Choice embraced the Possible by Dr. By Edith Edgar. I listened to the audiobook of this memoir and it was fantastic, partly because the author actually recorded the introduction. So a lot of times with books, you’ll have somebody other than the.

[00:25:45] That is actually doing the voiceover for the book, but she actually did the introduction and she is 80 years old at this point, I think, when she recorded it. But this was a really interesting memoir because it talks about her life and it, and it was kind of built as like she survived the concentration camps.

[00:26:06] And I was like, well, I don’t know that I won another memoir that dives into what life was like in the concentration camps. Like I said, I have read. Man’s Search For Meaning by Victor Frankel, and it is really good, but it goes into a lot of description of what life was like in the concentration camps, which is not the easiest thing to read, but I was like, okay, it was a recommendation for a book club.

[00:26:30] And I was like, I’m gonna give it a shot anyways. And really the part where she’s talking about her life and the concentration camp is only a small portion of the whole book. . But what was so interesting to me as someone who has read Victor Frankel is that she later on met him and he was a mentor and an inspiration to her.

[00:26:56] She was much younger. She was about 17 at the time. that she was taken to the concentration camps. But later on she goes through the story of her life and how they end up coming to America. And then in her like fifties, she becomes a psychologist and. Kind of talks about her own transformation interspersed with stories of different patients that she’s helped with, different issues along the way, and it, all of these stories are just weaved together in a really well written way, especially for someone who’s first language was not.

[00:27:36] The book really focuses on taking ownership of the life we have, rather than blaming our circumstances, we have the choice to pay attention to what we’ve lost, or we have the choice to pay attention to what’s in front of us and what we have right now. All right, so that rounds up my top 10 non-fiction book recommendations.

[00:28:03] Of 2022. I hope something I said resonated with you. I hope that you will make the choice to read at least one nonfiction book this year. That is my challenge to you. If you know what that book is gonna be, I would love for you to come into our Facebook group, pop it in the chat, let me know what’s one book you really plan to read in 2023.

[00:28:29] And as I promised, as we wrap up, I’m gonna give you a few of my favorite fiction books. I’m not gonna go into what they’re all about, but I personally love anything. That’s a good story that’s well written. I love historical fiction or something that gives you something to chew on. It makes you think. So here in no particular order are my top five fiction reads of the year number one Midnight Library by Matt.

[00:29:02] Number two, Verde by Colleen Hoover. This was my first Colleen Hoover book. Number three, the Things We Cannot Say by Kelly Rimmer. Again, I loved historical fiction. Number four, who is Mod Dixon? By Alexa Andrews, and number five, counterfeit by Kristen Chen. I will link all of those books in the show notes below so you can go do your own research, decide if you want to add any of them to your reading list for 2023, but I hope you’ll make the choice to make some kind of reading challenge for yourself in 2023.

[00:29:46] And I would. To hear about it. I can’t wait to chat with you more inside of our Facebook community. Until next time, may you live filled, fueled, and full of joy.