Navigating Career Challenges as a Military Spouse

[00:00:00] Christine: You decided to take a step back from your career because let’s be honest, balancing a full-time job, kids and military life is tough and sometimes downright impossible. But now you’re feeling a little lost and wondering just how hard it will be to break back into the workforce when the time is right, or perhaps the decision was completely out of your hands.

[00:00:24] You’re having trouble finding a job. In your career field that works with military life, or you are being stationed overseas and options are limited, what do you do? Is there a way to keep building those professional skills in a way that will eventually lead you back to getting paid for what you have to offer? Absolutely. Inside today’s episode, we’re talking about how to strategically volunteer your way to success.

Okay, friends, truly, you are in for a treat today, and if you are not in the car, I highly recommend. You take out a pen and paper for this episode because there are some amazing truth bombs packed inside this episode, I am talking with two powerhouse military spouses who have spent years creating a life and business that truly aligns with their passions and lights them up.

[00:02:17] In this episode, we get really practical about how to figure out what your passions are. How to strategically volunteer or even get paid to learn new skills, how to go after your dreams while navigating the challenges of military life and how to grow your network of connections because you just never know when those connections are going to come in handy now.

[00:02:44] The first step to really building a life and career that you love is to get some clarity around who you are and what you actually want your life to look like. We’re going to get into that a little bit today, but I want to share with you a few resources to help you get started. The number one place I recommend that everybody get started.

[00:03:08] Just by identifying what your core values are, these are the things that are important to you, not to everyone around you, but what really matters most to you. The second thing that I recommend for you is downloading my free workshop all about finding clarity. As a military spouse, this is a great place to get started, and if you are ready to go all in.

[00:03:35] And discover what lights you up, what your passions are, and how to pursue purpose as a military spouse. The Milspouse Purpose Playbook is for you. This is a self-guided course that takes you through the self-discovery process, and it helps you figure out what your big dreams actually are and how to go about pursuing those dreams in the midst of military life.

[00:04:02] You can find out about all of those resources. Or how to get some one-on-one coaching with me just by going to our website, milspouse mastermind.com or by clicking the link in the show notes below. So let me go ahead and tell you a little bit about today’s guest. Lacey Langford is an accredited financial counselor with over 15 years of financial planning, counseling, and coaching experience.

[00:04:30] She’s a veteran, a military spouse, the founder and CEO of the Military Money Show, which is a podcast dedicated to the military community with personal finance and Mil Money Con, a national conference and community for financial professionals united by military service.

[00:05:02] Kate Horrell is also an accredited financial counselor and personal finance educator who helps the military community make the most of their pay and benefits. She has roamed the globe with her now retired sailor for 28 years, carding four kids and two cats wherever the Navy sent them. Her company, Kings High Media creates. Personal finance content specific to military and veteran family. She shares the most up-to-date information in understandable terms and highlights how rules, programs and laws will directly impact your personal finances.

[00:05:31] Today I am so excited to have two special guests on the Milspouse Mastermind Show, Lacey Langford and Kate Horrel. Kate and I connected back a couple of months ago at the Military Spouse of the Year Convention, and we have been trying to make something happen to get this interview scheduled ever since then.

[00:05:53] So I’m so excited to have them on the show today. We’re. Going to be talking about what it looks like to develop your skills when you are in a place where you’re either not working or you are not working in the field you wanna be working in. So Kate and Lacey, I’m so excited to have you. Would you each just introduce yourself, talk a little bit about who you are and what you do.

[00:06:20] This is Kate.

[00:06:21] Kate: I am a personal financial educator. I run a small company that writes content for all different places. You might read military by owner, military.com, military families magazine, stars, and stripes, those types of people. And I just help military and veteran families make the most of their pay and benefits.

[00:06:41] Lacey: I’m Lacey Langford. I’m a financial coach. I help the military community with money as well. I have a, a website, lacey langford.com to help people with personal finance and a podcast called The Military Money Show, which covers everything to help the community make, save, and invest money wisely. I grew up in the military, I served, and I’m a military spouse.

The Power of Open Doors

[00:07:02] Christine: Lacey, let’s start with you. Talk about your background and what led you to do what it is you do today.

[00:07:09] Lacey: Well, it definitely, the military shaped what I’m doing today. I. Have a financial background and when I came off of active duty, that’s the path that I wanna take in the career field. But on my spring break, I then became a military spouse and rolled right into having difficulties with my employment, working my career around my husband’s infantry career, made it difficult.

[00:07:31] I really wanted to be a financial advisor. And when your husband’s gone every other year and the year he is home, he is gone for half of that year for training. That was difficult, and so I decided to start my own business, my own coaching practice that was PCS proof, and that evolved into me starting a website so I could share information and let people know that I was competent and that I was a member of the community.

[00:07:55] Then I started a podcast to be able to help more people, and it has evolved over time. But really it was just one day I was so angry because I wasn’t making the money I wanted to make and having the career path that I wanted to take because of the military. And so I was like, you know what? I’m just gonna do my own thing and not have the military dictate my entire career and take back that ownership and that control, which was really helpful.

[00:08:20] And entrepreneurship was a way to do that for me and still be able to help the community instead of being a full-time volunteer.

[00:08:28] Christine: So what was that transition like? At what point did you say, okay, this is just too much to try to make this job happen? I’m willing to go out on my own and, and try a different path.

[00:08:41] Lacey: I think, and I know this is probably, I’m preaching to the choir here, but it’s the start, stop thing is you’re always starting over and stopping something and, and you’re losing all of the gains. So all of the reputation and the hard work that I put into developing relationships, whether that was volunteering or if I did have a, like a small part-time job that went away whenever I moved or whenever I had to stop working because my husband was gone all the time.

[00:09:07] And also volunteering, which is really great. But again, nothing that I was able to take with me and that was mine. And I felt like that I. Lost all gains that I made. And so it was one day that it was like, you know, I’m really sick of this. If I’m gonna work my butt off every time we move, I want that to be for us.

[00:09:27] I don’t want to have to give that away to somebody else. And that might mean that, Hey, I gotta. You know, put the pedal to the floor when we arrive at a new duty station to reestablish myself, or I’m gonna have to take my foot off the gas when we’re getting ready to leave and make a PCS or when you’re deployed.

[00:09:44] So it was really that frustration of wanting to have control of all the things that. The hard work that I did.

[00:09:51] Christine: And how long did it take you to get established working for yourself and building that and, and feeling like, okay, I feel like this is headed in the right direction and that I’m supposed to be doing what I’m doing right now.

[00:10:07] Lacey: That is a really hard question. I would let say I’m still figuring it out and you know, any day like entrepreneurship’s difficult and I think Kate can probably speak to this too, what we do publicly and how we’re helping people. Like there are a lot of challenges that come with that. And you know, entrepreneurship, you are making a living.

[00:10:26] You’re not earning a living. What you have is what you created out of thin air and that is really hard work. So I think it was actually probably a good four or five years that into it that I was like, okay, like I’ve got something here that I don’t wanna lose. But it, you know, definitely had coaching clients and had something, but it didn’t feel like, okay, I can make it in entrepreneurship probably till five years.

[00:10:49] Christine: I think that’s important to hear because so many times we think if we are starting out something, we want to have that overnight success. We want to get those immediate results right. And entrepreneurship is such a journey and it takes. So much time sometimes to see the results that we want to see.

[00:11:10] So I think it’s always helpful to hear from people that have been in the trenches for a while to say, yes, it does take time to see those results. Yes. Kate, tell us your story and, and all the things that you have done.

[00:11:28] Kate: Well, as Lacey said, you know, the military. Kind of pushed me into this journey, it never would’ve occurred to me. There, there is, I would not absolutely not be doing what I’m doing now that I think I’m meant to be doing if I weren’t married to somebody in the military. Just like many military spouses. I had to recreate myself several PCSs in a row, and I got to do some jobs that I never would’ve thought of doing.

[00:11:55] And one of them was in mortgage banking and I worked with borrowers who were in trouble, who were behind other mortgage. And I became really passionate about financial education and I thought, wow, this is like a whole world. So I started learning on my own time. I think that’s one of the, the lessons that we can take away from this, right?

[00:12:16] I wasn’t in a position to be working, or even at that point in time really to be in school. This was kind of pre big internet days. I couldn’t go just take a class online. I wasn’t, you know, I’m taking classes now online, and that wasn’t a possibility 25 years ago in the same way that it is now. For sure.

[00:12:37] And, but I did do my own personal development, right? And so I read and I did some volunteering that wasn’t directly related to what I was doing, but I was building skills. And that’s I think, another important message about using time that you’re not working in your career field. You don’t always necessarily need to be getting a credential or getting a line item on your resume that I did this job.

[00:13:04] But I took a class in HTML, which has been super crazy helpful for me over the years, or I, you know, learned how to do a little bit of very average graphic design, but those are skills that you, you use over time. And then I had the opportunity, With a fluke of military life. military.com was looking to open up their personal finance vertical, and they were looking for someone that was already in their ecosphere.

[00:13:38] And so it was a friend of a friend who knew somebody who said, Hey, you should apply for this job. And that has just grown and developed. Over time, but it was about the net. You know, it all came together between the network, the fluke of the jobs that I had along the way, and then the skills that I was able to build when I wasn’t working.

[00:14:00] Christine: I see this happen over and over again when we are pursuing those things, when we are. Opening ourselves up to opportunities. The next step presents itself. The next door opens when we’re willing to say, okay, what should I be doing? And just not stressing over it. Not freaking out about what’s gonna happen in the future, but just keeping those doors open and pursuing the new skills, the networking.

[00:14:30] So I would love for you to share, just kind of. What your advice would be for a military spouse? You know, there’s so many reasons why we decide, hey, now is not the season for me to be able to work in the field that I’m passionate about. And I know from personal experience, you know, I have received the advice time and time again.

[00:14:53] Well just go back to school, go, go get a degree in something else. And I don’t. Think that is always the best advice for spouses because there’s so many opportunities out there. But where would you recommend that military spouses begin?

Crafting Your Unique Career Path as a Military Spouse

[00:15:12] Lacey: I think one, to know that there is no mold for you. That’s really important.

[00:15:16] I wish I would’ve known that early on, that there’s, there’s doesn’t have to be a rhyme or reason to how you build your career as a military spouse. Your ’cause, most likely your career building is going to be. Like no other. There’s going to be different paths you have to do it. So I do not agree with going back to school unless there’s something that you truly need, a designation or skillset for a specific job that you know you’re gonna get.

[00:15:43] ’cause unfortunately, a lot of people are going back to school as a band aid will all do this and then hope that I’ll get another job. Well now you’ve PCSed to a place where there is no opportunities to work in that career field and there might not be a, a chance virtually to work like that. And so, I really say start with informational interviews.

[00:16:01] I think that’s so important. Learning from other people that are in the career path that you want to be in. And that’s where it should start. Because if you start in a career path that you’re not interested in, then that is actually not going to be sustainable for you in the long run. So if you have a career path that you’re really interested in, or one you have no idea what you want to do, informational interviews are a really great way to start to under.

[00:16:22] Understand the playing field and TI is a really great resource for that connected with LinkedIn. And also with that, you’re able to connect with people from within the military community who understand the lifestyle. Who also understand the career field that you’re interested in, and they’re going to break it down for you real easy.

[00:16:40] And also ways for you to work in this career field that work around military life. So I think that’s one thing. I also think that volunteering strategically is really important. You can volunteer in an era like I volunteered on all military installations to do personal finance. Even when I couldn’t make money at it, I was getting better at being a financial coach because of the volunteer work I did.

[00:17:02] Also, understanding resources, the playing field and making connections within the career field that I wanted to be in was huge. I also say apply for things ’cause you never know applying for jobs and that you may think you’re not going to get, but now you’ll understand more of that. Career path I think is important.

[00:17:22] Again, there needs to, doesn’t need to be a rhyme or reason why you’re doing something. And then I’m really big about going to in-person events, connecting with people within your community that you’re interested in that career path because. Again, you’re going to find people that are willing to work with you.

[00:17:36] I know Kate is really great about this, working with other military spouses within the community around their schedule and their lifestyle. So I think that if the education is right for you, do that. But you actually could go and work for somebody that’s doing that job and learn directly from them and get a better education at no cost and actually be making money at it than paying for that education that you might not even use.

[00:18:00] Kate: That was really good, Lacey. I want to expand on one part of what Lacey said was the goal being, you know, really participating in the community that you think that you want to work in. Even if you are not working in it, you can join associations. There are associations for every. Finance every career path out there, most of them do not require that you are working in that field to join.

[00:18:26] You could write an article for their newsletter. You could. Most of them have scholarships to go to their conferences. I’ve attended several professional conferences that they paid me to go to, and they love military spouses for the most part. And I’m willing to take a pity scholarship if someone wants to give that to me.

[00:18:45] I’m not shy about that at all. And the power of social media cannot be underestimated in this regard. Even if the association doesn’t have a dedicated forum, although many of them do, they probably have a Facebook page or a Facebook group, or they’re active on LinkedIn and. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been to a conference.

[00:19:12] Actually, just this morning I had coffee and went for a walk with somebody who I have never met in person. She is a professional colleague that I only know from Facebook until today. And you know, she provides professional value in my life. Like we’ve moved beyond Facebook, we’re all the way up to emails and and texts, but this was the first time we’ve ever met in person and we’ve collaborated numerous times.

[00:19:39] So there are so many opportunities available in 2023 to be engaged and involved in your community, even if you’re not working.

[00:19:50] Lacey: I also wanna add that military spouses are suckers for military spouses. So if you need help, like that’s, you have a whole network of military spouses that are gonna help lift you up and you never know.

[00:20:03] Where their career path is gonna take you. So people that I have done a lot of volunteer work with now are in very influential positions that could be financial opportunities for me. And so don’t be scared to really develop your military spouse network to help your career path, because none of us are gonna stay in the same spot that we’re at.

[00:20:26] There’s gonna be something in the future, and you’re able to call on that network to get support and, and ask for help, especially if you’re seeing somebody that’s doing what you like doing. Kate gets this, I get this too. You, we get reached out to people from military spouses that wanna become financial professionals or be a blogger, be a podcaster, and they wanna learn from another military spouse.

[00:20:48] And, you know, we’re willing to give that information because we know exactly what. Your struggles are in the life that you’re going through, and we definitely would’ve loved a leg up as well. And so we’re willing to give those things. So don’t forget that military spouses help military spouses.

[00:21:04] Christine: It’s such a special community because we are all here to support one another and build each other up. And all of us can look back whether we’ve been in this military community for five years, 10 years, 15, 20, and we say, okay, here’s what I’ve learned. Here’s what I wish I would’ve known, and here’s what I can share with others who are coming behind me so that we can continually. Help more military spouses to succeed, and both of you had such valuable insights into things that we can do.

[00:21:41] Talking about the informational interviews, getting to know what’s out there, going to in-person events, which the networking there. Is so valuable. I’ve attended virtual events and it’s just not the same as getting to be in the room, in person volunteering strategically and really building that community and that networking through social media.

[00:22:08] All of those things are really, really important. Really. I would like to step back for a minute to the very beginning. I know both of you had this idea that I want to be in personal finance, but what would you say to the spouse who is really having trouble figuring out, what do I actually want to do?

[00:22:31] Because maybe you went to school for something and that’s just not available where you’re living or you have a whole lot of ideas. What was it like? For you, or what advice would you give to someone who’s trying to narrow in like, what is the thing that I really wanna do? What am I passionate about?

Your Path to Clarity of Purpose

[00:22:49] Kate: I would say, embrace the fact that your life is in constant change and use that as an opportunity.

[00:22:57] You know, I had, I, there aren’t really temp agencies the same way there used to be, but when we moved to a new duty station, I would go to a temp agency and I would register and they’d be like, oh, you’re gonna be a receptionist at. I don’t know, a bookmaking company next week. And then you’re gonna be the secretary at a pathology place and you pretty rapidly go, wow, this one really interests me and I have no interest in that business at all.

[00:23:30] And it becomes a little bit of a process of elimination and. Also just be very authentic and honest with yourself about what brings you joy. Try not to have other people’s preconceived notions about what is a good career or the right career, and think about does it make you really excited when you walk in your friend’s house and you can help them move their chair three feet and redefine the way their house functions?

[00:23:57] Well, that might be a clue. Or if you absolutely hate cooking dinner, maybe you don’t want to go into the restaurant business. Like I think we all in today’s environment where there is a lot of pressure, I think pos, it’s positive pressure, but a lot of pressure. Like everybody needs to have a career, everybody needs to be employed to find things that are.

[00:24:27] Socially acceptable as like career worthy, if that makes sense. And I don’t think that that’s really the best way to find your passion. It’s not about what somebody else thinks is right for you, it’s about what you feel in your heart.

[00:24:41] Lacey: Kate, we’ve never talked about this, but I also used to register with temp agencies, and I remember at one duty station I worked.

[00:24:50] As a temp for a granite wholesaler, which I knew nothing about Granite or Marvel or anything like that, but I did their billing. So it was somewhat in the finance world, but. I think everything happens for a reason and it was a small business, so it was really things I saw there have been helpful to me now in entrepreneurship, seeing how they ran their business.

[00:25:13] So there’s things that you’ll get experience at that may not be relevant right now, but sure as heck will be relevant later to you. I think Kate touched on a little bit on that earlier, but I think it’s really great for you to get experience. Whether that be whatever career field, because that helps to rule things out.

[00:25:33] That’s why too, I mentioned the informational interviews. If you see how somebody does their day or they tell you how they do your their day and it sounds soul sucking to you, then that’s probably not going to be a career path that’s you’re going to be interested in. So you could rule some things out, but also consider things that bring you joy if you do something for, you know, 10 minutes and you know, it feels like it was 10 hours, then that’s probably not going to be the thing for you.

[00:26:01] But if you did, like I was that way with financial coaching. Like I could coach somebody for one hour, but it felt like 10 minutes went by because I was so lost and I was so excited to help people. So know yourself. Be self-aware if, if this thing is really exciting to you. Then you might be onto something if like Kate’s saying like if it’s not exciting to you, then you’re not going to want to do that.

[00:26:24] And if something you’re passionate about it and it may not make sense to other people, don’t let that scare you. I had a friend and military spouse that was really good at styling like clothing. She showed up to every event just looking so well put together. And I was like, I would pay you to. Just get my whole ball outfit together, the earrings, the shoes, like here’s my sizes.

[00:26:44] Like I don’t want to be involved at all. Just let me try it on and I’ll show up and put the dress on and I’ll go to the party. That’s what I was looking for. And I was like, you could actually have a killer business as a stylist for military spouses that have to go to all these functions, but don’t want to do the shopping or the styling.

[00:27:00] And I didn’t have that skillset. Like I wasn’t good at pulling myself together that way. And so just because it doesn’t make sense to somebody else, doesn’t mean that you’re not onto something.

[00:27:07] Christine: I think it’s so important to have that sense of curiosity and say, when I have a new opportunity, what can I learn from this?

[00:27:18] And does this bring me joy? Is this something that I want to do more of or less of? Because all of those things that we go through can be clues, and so if we are just approaching something from, well, this is just. The only thing that’s available to me right now, or we just need this paycheck to get by, then we miss out on what we can truly take from that that’s going to help us in the future.

[00:27:46] Kate: I was going to throw out there too. I think about this all the time. When I was in college, I needed like a one-hour throwaway credit class for some reason, and I took this class that was like a career prep class, but one of our activities was we had to identify a job we thought we were interested in, and we had to build a 24-hour schedule of what our life would look like if we.

[00:28:10] If we had that job and you had to go do research and do some informational interviews and build out that schedule. And it was super eye-opening to me. And so when I look at work opportunities now, I think in the framework of how does this fit in my 24 hours and is this, you know, in, in budgeting we talk about what are you going to give up if you want to spend this?

[00:28:35] If I want to go buy a fancy new car, well what in my budget is going to change. And the same thing is true of time. If I’m going to take on this new work opportunity, where is that time going to come from and is that a good value for me?

[00:28:51] Christine: I think that’s an important thing to consider because it also helps us consider how we want to live our life as a whole and, and what is important to us and, and to be able to identify.

[00:29:07] These are the things that are important to me and to my family in this season. So if I’m taking a job that requires me to be on the road a lot, or to be away from my family, is that giving me the whole life that I want? Even if it, you know, is, is a great paying job, or it looks good on paper, is that the life we wanna have?

[00:29:31] Kate: That is something that Lacey and I talk about all the time because I try to structure every decision that I make about my work based around my personal life. That’s where I, that’s where I am in my life right now, is that my kids and my parents all need me, and that’s a higher priority, and the other things are gonna have to work holistically with that.

[00:29:54] Not that they never sacrifice. ’cause they absolutely do. But you know, it’s a, it’s strategic and I’m guessing a lot of people that you are talking to maybe have little kids at home or they’re thinking about possibly having kids or they’re thinking about that overseas tour that’s really going to be challenging.

[00:30:15] And whether or not they can support that as a family.

[00:30:19] Christine: For sure. And, and I know from personal experience what it’s like to pour yourself into building something in it and then look around and be like, I don’t have a life because I have burnt myself out working to make this one thing happen. And, and that’s why I am so passionate about, let’s talk about what we want our life as a whole to look like.

[00:30:41] Lacey: I think what you just said there is really important resiliency that that’s one thing. You know, I have hindsight now having, you know, been a military spouse. My husband’s retired and growing up in the military, me serving, it gives you perspective and those things, like you’re saying, starting and stopping over again, like it’s really hard.

[00:30:59] You have put your heart and soul into it. You’ve most definitely sacrificed family time, your mental health time, and you could actually just been laying on the couch to do something and then feeling like it’s all for naught. Actually what it’s done is made you more resilient. So the next time you have a lot thicker skin and you, and you’re not wasting your mental bandwidth on stupid stuff, like worrying about what other people think of you like.

[00:31:21] So what? Like even if you start a job working for six months and quit because your, you know, husband’s going t d y. So what? It doesn’t matter. Your family’s most important. You need to be present for your children. If that’s what you guys have decided, then get a job when he comes back. Like that’s don’t.

[00:31:38] Hold yourself back and give yourself extra stress worrying about what that looks like or a normal career path. It’s established. Military spouses are going to have a different career path, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I think it actually makes you stronger.

[00:31:53] Christine: I think it’s important to keep in mind that it, it is okay, like this is a different path than so many of us knew or were taught growing up, that this is the one way to have a career and the benefit of being a military spouse because, It forces you to think differently, to approach life differently, but there is so much joy, there is so much purpose.

[00:32:19] There is so much more that can come out of being able to think outside the box and do things a little bit differently. I would love to go back to what we talked about in volunteering strategically because as things have shifted, I feel like there are now so many opportunities for us to spend time volunteering and.

[00:32:45] If you have been around the military community, people love it when military spouses volunteer and it can become overwhelming and lead to burnout. So talk about your tips for strategically deciding what do I say yes to when it comes to volunteer opportunities?

Volunteering Your Way to Success

[00:33:06] Kate: I would start with think about the, there’s, there’s two different paths.

[00:33:11] One of them is from just a values perspective, is the, the, the job and the organization, are they things that are important to you? You know, I was very active in my kids parent-teacher organizations. I was a big Girl Scout mom for many years, and I wouldn’t necessarily say they provided me with a ton of professional development, although I certainly learned some conflict resolution skills.

[00:33:36] They, they were important to me from my personal values, and so whether they had professional development opportunities was kind of secondary for those. But some other volunteer jobs, like I mentioned, maybe it’s where you learn how to manage a really big budget that you could put that as a bullet point on your resume.

[00:33:57] I ran, you know, I was the treasurer of an organization that brought in $500,000 last year. You know what? There’s a lot of civilians that can’t say that, or a lot of paid employees that can’t say that. Or maybe you really wanted to get really good at building websites, and so you volunteer to be. The spouses club website person, and they don’t care if you do a terrible job.

[00:34:23] They really don’t. They just want to have a website and they’re really excited that somebody’s, they’re not going to have to pay somebody. And you have an opportunity to hone your skills, and you’ll use that in the future almost no matter what job you do. Knowing how to build a website is really handy. So from my perspective, there’s the value side, but then there’s also the.

[00:34:47] Skillset side, I would just warn everybody to be protective of their personal time. I think most of us have had times in our life that we maybe raised our hand a little too often that year, and then things get outta hand and it’s not good for you and it’s not good for your family, and it’s certainly not good for your professional development because if you are doing too much, you’re not doing a good job at any of it. You don’t want to burn those bridges with your network.

[00:35:19] Lacey: I completely agree with, you know, everything that Kate said, I think, you know, being strategic about volunteering is really important. You know, it’s one thing if you don’t know what you want to do, then you know, the informational interviews are really helpful.

[00:35:31] But if you know the direction you want to go to volunteering can really help you get that skillset. I completely agree with doing something and being bad. Like that’s a really great way of volunteering to build the confidence. Like if you want to become a public speaker, Volunteering to lead the newcomers orientation on your installation is a real great way to get used to public speaking in an environment where there’s, you know, low risk or you won’t be as embarrassed, versus if you’re asking for, you know, $5,000 to be a public speaker.

[00:36:01] You haven’t had that practice in honing yourself in front of a large group, so that could be something that you use that’s helping you build your career and, and building up your confidence in your proficiency in doing that thing. And I agree with Kate, like blocking your time and having that protected, I actually volunteered so much doing financial counseling and coaching.

[00:36:23] I had a, a cat card as a volunteer, but that wasn’t something that just fell on my lap. I actually had to seek out that. That volunteer job and prove that I was able to do it, that I was qualified and competent to do it, go through a severe background, check, a lot of things, but then I had a schedule. I will work during preschool hours when my children are in preschool, Monday, Wednesday, Friday for three hours.

[00:36:44] I will come here and you can put me on the schedule and I’ll do this. The other times I’m not able to do things, but this is when I’m able to do it, and that was really helpful to me. I also agree with Kate going after the skill that you want. I have. Volunteered a lot, but also taken side hustles within my own business to learn a skill or get better at something.

[00:37:04] So I’ve taken a side hustle working for another blogger to help improve my website and my blogging ability. I’ve volunteered for other podcasters to improve my podcast in, in my business in that area. So if there’s something that you want to get good at, you can volunteer for, but you could also get paid to do it.

[00:37:23] So even if that’s something that’s just a little bit of money. The money to me is the bonus. I’m really here for the education and you’re, you’re going to pay me to take it from you. Then that’s, that’s a real win-win if you could do that. So don’t be scared again about making your own career path and volunteering your way to success is a complete possibility.

[00:37:44] I think looking back, that has been some of the best things I’ve done. I also volunteered to do financial. Classes and coaching in the prison system, which was really helpful. Again, I got to practice doing what I love to do and also help people at the same time. So find ways in your community that you’re living in at the moment to be able to do those things.

[00:38:06] Christine: That’s such good advice because there are opportunities to get paid for you to learn the skill that you really want to learn, and I think that’s a great way to go about doing it. I would love to hear from each of you, especially Kate as you’re talking about, your current week and what’s going on. There are so many challenges that we face as military spouses in trying to pursue the things on our heart. So talk about what skills, what strategies you use to deal with all of the challenges that military life sometimes throws our way.

Balancing Military Life and Career

[00:38:46] Kate: Wow, you’ve, you’ve got me on a good week because yesterday was a tears level of frustration, military spouse day because as we know, the best laid plans are frequently just absolutely useless.

[00:38:59] And just for all of the listeners, I am. It’s currently in a Navy gateway, inns and suites that has no cell phone reception. And we had a huge storm come through and the wifi is out and there is no hot water. So that’s my week, how it’s going. Flexibility I think is super key and some of that is a mindset, but some of it just comes from.

[00:39:26] Accepting the fact that it’s the reality. You may not have the mindset to accept the fact that it’s the reality, but just accept it. Be really honest with your, your network, right? This is my situation and I’ve, I’ve said this to Lacey times, people go, oh my gosh, would you just like let your family go and deal with this one work thing?

[00:39:50] I’m like, Nope, not gonna do it. That’s not how I roll. And. I don’t think there’s anybody I work with who doesn’t know that if the Dodo hits the fan, my work is gonna play second fiddle, and that’s okay with me. Maybe that’s not okay with you, so obviously don’t send that message if that’s not okay with you.

[00:40:10] Also having sort of a backup on a backup on a backup. Is essential for any lifestyle, right? Have that second set of earphones in the bottom of your purse when your first set of earphones decides not to work. Carry that spare battery pack with you. Have a sharpie. You know, just very simple things that maybe can get you out of a situation that you didn’t know you were going to be in when your new neighbors move in.

[00:40:43] Take them brownies so that when you have a phone call and your babysitter doesn’t show up, maybe they will come watch your kids for 30 minutes, right? Building out your network, not only your professional network, but also your local area support system can be a very big deal When you finally got that great informational interview and then there was a car accident on the way home and your kid is at preschool, and preschool is going to lose their mind if you don’t come pick up your kid. Right. Knowing that you actually did have some people to put on your little sheet.

[00:41:17] Christine: Yes. Very helpful. Who’s going to be that emergency contact?

[00:41:20] Kate: It’s always a dilemma.

Developing Flexibility and Resilience as a Military Spouse

[00:41:24] Lacey: Yeah, I, I was going to add that I think all of those skill sets are so important. I think one thing that’s key is that military spouses have the ability to adapt.

[00:41:32] You are often put in situations that not figuring it out isn’t an option, so you’re going to figure it out and, and you’re going to be calm in that. So I think that those are huge problem solving. Solving and being calm when faced with challenges is something that, Again, toughen it up your skin. That happens to military spouses, like, you know, this isn’t the first time something bad happened on a PCS and it won’t be the last time.

[00:41:56] I’m not the first person it happened to, and I won’t be the last person it happens to. So I think that’s really important. I. I also think a regular great skillset that military spouses have is speaking up and asking questions be like, this doesn’t make sense. How do I do this? This doesn’t sound right.

[00:42:12] What’s next? You know, whether that be stuff for your household goods, whether that be for your children’s health and safety, for your spouse’s health and safety. So I think those are really great. Skillset sets that you don’t realize that you’re developing that are so important in your career path.

[00:42:28] Because there are not a lot of people that when it all goes to hell, will stay calm and figure it out. They’re just going to be like Chicken little, the sky is falling. What are we going to do? And, and. Freaking out when things go wrong is, is actually not helping the situation. You’re, you’re making it worse. And, and so military spouses are pretty stoic in, in situations like that to be like, all right, let’s figure this out.

[00:42:49] I have to also say that military spouses can fix stuff and do things that a lot of people can’t because. Again, we have to figure it out. We’re on our own. There is not really, A lot of times when you have somebody to call on, like you, if you have to make the call, you want it to be really worth it. So if it’s like, Hey, my sink is not working.

[00:43:06] That’s the thing you’re going to figure out. You’re not. And like Kate Kate’s situation saying like, and my kid needs help. I need somebody to watch my kid. That’s when you’re going to make the call. Kate and I were actually staying at an Airbnb. And the sink was broken in my bathroom, and the person we were with was like, Hey, we’ll call the maintenance person.

[00:43:22] Well, if they don’t show up, Kate and I can figure it out like we’re military spouses. Like, we’ll fix this sink.

[00:43:29] Christine: For sure. You, you, you get to this place where it’s like, okay, this is. It is what it is and I’m going to figure out what the next thing needs to be. When I was in, stuck in the airport with three small children and all of a sudden I’m going to have to spend the night in the airport with three small children, and it’s like, okay, what do I need to do? Where do I need to get them? You just kind of figure out what that next step has to be.

[00:43:54] Lacey: That happened to me that just, that sent a shiver through my spine. I got stuck in the airport for like nine hours with like, I think he was like maybe three months old and a two-year-old. And I was breastfeeding and there didn’t have the breastfeeding places now, and I was trying to breastfeed and one of ’em was eating Cheerios off the floor.

[00:44:12] It was just, it was horrible. But I finally found like, The USO was never just so exciting to me when I was like, oh, this is relief, relief here. So I completely, that resonates with me.

[00:44:24] Kate: Mad shout out to the USO for, I would just like to, every year should give a clap for the USO.

[00:44:30] Christine: Yes. I, I definitely made use of that last month when I was traveling. They were a much-needed relief for our family. Let everybody know how they can connect with you. Kate, let’s start with you.

[00:44:43] Kate: Sure. My blog is katel.com. K A T E H, oe, or if you just Google. Kate Horrell. I’m not the lingerie designer, I’m the other one.

[00:44:57] Christine: Good

[00:44:57] Lacey: to know. I should not know that. You could. It’s my alter ego.

[00:45:03] You can find me@laceylangford.com. Or anywhere. Podcasts are Find Found the Military Money Show, and I love to connect with fellow military spouses on LinkedIn as well.

[00:45:12] Christine: Well, thank you both for coming on today for having this conversation because I know it is so valuable and sometimes we just need to hear it from military spouses that have been down that road and know that this is possible and there is amazing things that are out there.

[00:45:31] If you would just take that next step, if you just take the opportunity to make the most of where you are in life. I hope you got a ton of value out of our episode today. I think it’s truly powerful to hear from women who have been on this military spouse journey for far longer than I have, and they’ve done the work to build a life and business for themselves that truly lights them up and makes an impact.

[00:46:01] I recommend that you go connect with them, follow them. Use this opportunity to expand your military spouse network because like we talked about today, military spouses are great at supporting one another and helping each other on this journey. Don’t forget if you are ready to go all in. On building a life and career you love, but you’re lacking that clarity piece on what you should be doing, or you’re having trouble figuring out how to fit it all into your day, then go jump inside the Milspouse Purpose Playbook course.

[00:46:35] This is one of the best things you could do for yourself. For your family and for your future. I’ll meet you back here again next week for another really great conversation about living with more meaning and less overwhelm as a military spouse. Until then, may you live filled, fueled, and full of joy.