Welcome back to a special bonus episode of the Milspouse Mastermind Show! I am so excited about this episode because it’s an idea that’s been on my heart for a while, and it was really my goal to make this a reality in 2022. Here on the Milspouse Mastermind Show, we talk about what it looks like to get unstuck and craft a life with purpose.

[00:00:22] Our goal is to learn how to thrive and pursue purpose as a military spouse, to embrace the life we’re living and make the most of it today. And it’s one thing to talk about how we do that, specific tools and tactics that we can use. But what does this look like in real life? In the day-to-day grind? A lot of the episodes that I put out there are about tools and tactics to help you do this.

[00:00:49] But what I felt like I needed to do was share more of my life, to role model what this looks like in real life, in all of the everyday situations that try to keep us from living a life of purpose. I really started thinking about this back in November, when I released this episode on how to have the best holiday season available to you as a military spouse. I’ll link that episode in the show notes below, but we talked about how I was working really hard to plan out my December in advance, so that we could enjoy more of the holiday season.

[00:01:32] And what happened, in reality, is despite all the work that I did to plan out December, there were so many things  that happened. And I ended up having to put a lot of my projects and goals for December on hold, just to stay on top of everyday life. And on top of all of the other events that popped up on the calendar that needed me.

[00:01:59] Run errands to get things for events to wrap presents, all the things. It just blew my mind how many new things got added on in December. That prevented me from having the December I wanted to have. So while a lot of our episodes are about tools and tips to help you get there. I decided for 2022, I want to do a monthly recap that just talks about my life as a military spouse.

[00:02:26] What went well? What I struggled with and how I am making progress on my goals for this year. These episodes will be less about teaching a new skill and more about what the journey was like for me to help you see what it looks like to pursue purpose as a military spouse in real life. So, what do you say let’s get started with my January recap?

Before we start talking all about January, I want to say that this is still an episode, a work in progress. So if there are things, elements of this type of teaching, this type of episode, that really resonated with you, that you loved, please let me know if there’s things that I leave out and you’d really like to know to have added into future episodes like this.

[00:04:07] Let me know that as well. My goal is to help you learn how to do this. And so I want to make these episodes a little more personal and you can,  give me some feedback and let me know if this was helpful to you. So the way that I’m going to break this down this month is to look at what my goals for the month were, what actually happened, and then how I pivoted or adjusted my plans and what I learned through this process.

So let’s start with my goals for January 2022. And these are based on my growth goals and my Arrow goals for the year, the growth plan that I created. And if you’re wondering what our growth goals are, what are your arrow goals?

[00:04:53] What are you talking about? Go back and listen to my last episode, which was a replay of our bonus training on how I do my annual planning process and how to set goals for your year. Those goals are basically answering the question: What is going to help me move towards who I want to be and how I want to show up this month?

MY GOALS

[00:05:17] So, my four big goals for January were number one, come up with a nutrition and physical fitness plan that I’m going to follow. Number two, develop the goal setting guide and do my. live training. So I’ve wanted to put together this annual planning guide, a guide to setting goals as a military spouse for awhile now, but I just haven’t had the time. And so I’m made the commitment in January. Hey, I’m going to put together this workbook for military spouses that talks about the process of setting goals and putting together a growth plan. And then I’m going to go do this live training, because number one, I wanted you to know that it doesn’t have to be figured out by the beginning of the year, but the earlier in the year that we set our goals and intentions for the year, the more that we have the opportunity to move towards, to make progress towards who we want to base.

[00:06:19] Going live was something that I had not really done before. And it’s one of those skills that I want to grow in and develop. When I’m sitting behind my mic at my computer, if I don’t like what I’m saying, I can just pause it or, you know, redo that sentence. But when you’re going live, you don’t have that luxury.

[00:06:39] This is a skill I’m trying to grow in. And so I want to be doing more of these live trainings and hopefully even the next one, I’ll be able to do it in a way that’s a little more interactive where I’m not just talking the whole time, but you can ask me questions and we can dialogue together.

[00:06:55] I hope that training was helpful for you, but that was one of my goals for January. My third big goal was to work on completing my annual planner sheets. So I make my own annual planner every year. I know it’s easy to go online and just purchase a planner. There’s so many different types of planners out there, but I was having a hard time figuring out finding one that had everything that I really wanted.

[00:07:24] And so, about four years ago, I started putting together my own planner. It’s evolved every year, I make some changes. I add make sure that I’m adding in the questions that I want to be asking myself to have that space in my annual planner for. My weekly reflection, my monthly reflections, my quarterly reflection questions.

[00:07:47] And so I make my own sheets and I wanted to do several updates and finish that for 2022. But that was something thatI had to carve out time and space for it in my calendar to make happen. So a little more involved than just ordering a planner online. For it to show up in the mail, but that was one of my big goals.

[00:08:08] And then continuing to work on my weekly schedule. I started, probably a couple of months ago, really trying to get intentional with what am I doing on a weekly basis? Where are the big holes in my schedule? Where am I wasting time? Where am I really being productive? How am I using all of this space in my calendar to show up as the person I want to be for myself, for my family, for those around me, and to pursue my purpose.

[00:08:40] For big goals or my, a plan for my nutrition and physical fitness, um, doing the goal setting guide and the live training, my finishing, my planning sheets, and then continuing to work on my weekly. Now the other piece of this puzzle. And if you listen to the live training, then you’ll know what I’m talking about here, but are figuring out what my core commitments are for the year.

[00:09:07] Now. I’m not going to go into all of my core commitments, but core commitments are basically the things that you commit to do on a weekly or monthly basis that will help. It’s still your three buckets that will help you care for yourself. That will help you cultivate healthy relationships, and that will help you pursue your purpose care, connect and contribute.

[00:09:29] So the core commitments fill our buckets and are the things that go into our calendar on a regular, weekly or monthly basis. To be able to sustainably pursue purpose in our current season of life. And so trying to figure out what are the things that are really going to move the needle that are going to help me become who I want to be to make progress in each of the 10 key areas of my life.

[00:10:00] And that will make sure that I am pouring into each of my three buckets. So just a couple of highs and lows for January. Number one was one of my core commitments was making sure I see the ocean twice a month. Now that’s kind of a random amount. I wanted to be able to say, Hey, I need to see the ocean every week.

[00:10:26] But when I thought about it, it just wasn’t practical because we live in an island where there’s a lot of rain. There’s sometimes we just don’t get great weather, especially during rainy season. And then some weeks are just really busy. And so it wasn’t really a practical goal to say, Hey, I want to see the ocean every week, but as long as I’m living on an island, and I know that getting to put my toes in the sand and look at the water brings me joy and fills me with life..

[00:10:58] I want to make sure I’m doing that at least twice a month. In a future season of life, that timeframe may look different, but that was what was realistic for my current season of life. Um, number two was continuing to schedule a time for rest in my weekly schedule. While my word of the year for 2021 was rest. I knew that I was going to move into focusing on a new goal for 2022 with my word of the year being joy. But I still wanted to make sure I was prioritizing and putting rest on my schedule on a weekly basis. Um, number three was having time for working on my to-do list and. Cleaning and tidying the house.

[00:11:49] Number four was making sure that I am regularly working out, and number five was intentionally spending time each week meal prepping to make the rest of the week goes smoother. So I definitely did get to see the ocean at least twice, I think three or four times this month, which is kind of amazing considering how much it rained.

[00:12:12] We’re supposed to be moving out of rainy season, but we still had a lot of rain this month. But I did get to see the ocean to put my toes in the sand. One night I went with some friends and we had a walk along the beach and that was really restorative. I did do a good job of making sure that I scheduled time for rest.

[00:12:35] In fact, the only time that I did not do that, every Sunday afternoon, we take time where the whole family has rest time. And this Sunday, I had a bunch of errands I had to run, and I just didn’t carve out that time. And I could definitely feel a difference in my day and my week as a whole. So, continuing to prioritize rest .

[00:12:58] Now, my workouts. That was something that is still on my list of priorities, but I did not do as well. I didn’t prioritize that appropriately in January. And then, um, my project time and my cleaning. That was one of the hardest adjustments and I’ll go into why that was in a minute and why I struggled with that.

[00:13:22] So those were some of my core commitments and my big goals. Now what actually happened for me in the month of January?

WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED

Well, number one, I had a month full of appointments, the number of hair appointments, dentist appointments, car appointments, all the, all the things. That I hadn’t scheduled out for a couple of months.

[00:13:45] Like it came time for January and I think we were trying to get through the holidays and it was like, okay, like, I need to do all of these appointments. They’re all due right now. So I felt like I was constantly running to appointments. Um, which definitely when you have a weekly plan and you throw a random appointment in there, it just seems to throw everything off and you’re trying to fit everything around.

[00:14:11] Adding in those extra appointments. So that definitely impacted how I showed up in the month of January and what I got done. Um, then out of the whole month, when I look at the month of January as a whole, there was only one week where we were actually in our normal routine where somebody didn’t have a day off from work or school, or, and what I realized about this is when I had.

[00:14:38] A five day week and everything that I planned to get done over the span of five days. And then we have like a holiday or a day off of school or whatever it is then I just try to cram the same amount of stuff into four days instead of five. So then I wind up feeling a little overwhelmed, but it was good to notice that, Hey, there’s something happened.

[00:15:02] Almost on a weekly basis that is preventing me from doing my quote unquote normal routine. And then the other big thing that happened for us in January was. Swim class from all three of my kids. I have wanted to get my kids swim lessons for three or four years now. Um, but between having babies and trying to juggle some lessons and babies, and then we finally got everybody, or my older two started right before.

[00:15:31] Then pandemic started and they canceled everything. And I have been searching for somebody willing to teach some lessons for the last two years. And everybody’s like, oh, we don’t do it because of COVID or there’s just nobody available on this island that can teach. And so I’ve been looking and looking at, and I finally found someone that was offering some classes and I’m hopeful that we keep going.

[00:15:53] Um, and that they don’t shut everything down again. But. We started some class twice a week for all three of my kids and nothing is super close to where we live. So I’m spending a good chunk of time each week, driving down to some lessons and back. And so that’s definitely impacted. The way my weekly schedule looks as well.

[00:16:18] So that’s kind of what my goals were, what actually happened. And then, okay. So what, what did I do with what I had? So let’s go on, I’m going to break this down into three parts as well. Okay. My highlight. What went well, my challenges and lessons learned and opportunities for growth. So first we’re going to look at, um, what my wins were and really focusing on what I’m thankful for in the month of January.

WHAT WENT WELL

[00:16:46] What can I celebrate? What went well? Um, number one, I completed the goal guide. That’s been on my list of things that I wanted to create for almost a year now. Um, and along with that, The live training. I learned so much through that process. Um, I loved getting to share my heart with you and to teach hopefully a lot of military spouses.

[00:17:12] That’s something that people are going to be able to go back and listen to and learn from. And hopefully it will make an impact in your year, but I did that live training. Um, I did finish. My annual planning sheets for my annual planner. So that is good to go. Um, and then the fourth thing that I just want to celebrate is that Iran five miles, if you missed my post, um, either on why shared it in the Facebook group and also on Instagram, but that was actually a goal for 2021 was to.

[00:17:50] For an hour straight. Um, and that was something that I did not complete by the end of 2021. I had a running injury. I had a lot of life happening. And so part of me was like a little bit discouraged. Like that was my goal. I didn’t finish it by the deadline, but when I got back to, well, why do I have this goal in, what am I actually wanting to work towards?

[00:18:14] Long-term it’s being able to learn how to run. For longer distances. And so I did complete that hour run. I ran five miles, um, at the beginning of January. So I am counting that as a big win for me because I have never been able to run that far for that long in my life. And then the other thing that I get to celebrate in the month of January is that I chopped my hair off.

[00:18:42] I have an amazing hairdresser right now, and she convinced me to go for a pixie cut, which is so much easier to take care of on a tropical island where I am constantly battling humidity. With my hair and it’s just so fun and freeing to try something completely different something that’s like really, like, I’ve always been, I’ve loved people that have pixie cuts, but I never felt like I was brave enough to try it myself.

[00:19:13] And I didn’t have a hairdresser that I trusted to do it for me. So I did it this month and it’s, it’s lots of fun. Um, I am enjoying how easy it is to take care of. Right now. So those are kind of my wins for January. Um, let’s get into my challenges for the month. So my challenges and struggles and lessons learned this month really focused.

WHERE I STRUGGLED

[00:19:41] They came down to being aware of. Where the problems are in my schedule. And, and specifically my weekly schedule, it’s still very much a work in progress. Yes. I have my time blocks in place and I know what life is supposed to look like on a normal weekly basis, but normal and reality are not the same thing.

[00:20:03] And so. Still number one, trying to adjust to, Hey, we have all of this time spent on kids’ activities during the week that wasn’t there before. And specifically, how do I adjust to having all of that time? To a project. Um, and how do I still maintain all of the rhythms around the house and keep the kids, keep the house clean and tidy and make all of these moving pieces function while still prioritizing what matters.

[00:20:40] So really the, the piece of the puzzle that I struggled with the most was keeping the house clean and getting my to-do list, that I have a whole list of things that need to get done and finding the time to fit that in. It’s definitely still a work in. And then I really became observant of all the ways that I unintentionally waste time.

[00:21:02] And so I say, Hey, I’m gonna work on this project, but then I get super distracted by this other thing, or by talking to someone and I don’t actually get the thing done that I was supposed to get done within the time that was allotted. And so a big piece of learning point for me this month was just being aware of.

[00:21:22] How much of my time gets wasted by stuff that doesn’t really matter that it’s not really on the schedule that I just allow distraction. To happen, but the first piece to being able to change something is being aware of the problem so that we can start figuring out solutions for that. So I know this is probably something that happens to a lot of us, you know, we have this plan of here’s what we’re going to do.

[00:21:49] Here’s what our week is going to look like. And then the reality is very different from what was on the plan. And so I, I want to say that it is completely. Normal for things to not go the way that you expected to have things pop up to have just a lot of days that aren’t quote unquote normal. And so it’s it’s if you feel like you’re struggling in that, you’re not alone.

[00:22:16] I, you know, and have been very intentional about looking at my time at my schedule at figuring out how we prioritize what matters most. And this is still a work in. For me, but I will tell you that I am making progress on this and that I am much further along than I used to be. So I just want us to come together to talk about, to normalize the fact that life happens, that things pop up that will try to derail us.

[00:22:47] And so what matters is not that we. Avoid all of the things that pop up on our schedule, but we learn how to deal with them. And a lot of that is comes back to just being aware of what’s actually going on on a given week or a month. The way I’m going to close this out is by looking at opportunities and how I want to approach everything that I learned this month, how I want to approach the next month.

WHAT I LEARNED

[00:23:17] What do I want to take with me in to February? And so I’m going to talk through just a couple of things that are my big takeaways from the month. And number one, that’s continuing to work on analyzing my weekly schedule to continue. To figure out how I am a good steward of the time that I have so that I am being intentional about getting the things done that need to get done.

[00:23:44] That makes our home function well, that, you know, cares for myself. That helps me show up well for the people in my life and for my ability to pursue purpose, to make this a sustainable life rhythm. And so much of that comes back to our actual weekly. Um, continuing to find ways to help our home and our family function more smoothly.

[00:24:10] I am super, super grateful that I was finally able to find some lessons for my kids. Living on an island where there’s water everywhere. I want my kids to have that foundational skill of knowing how to swim, but that is what we are prioritizing in this season. And we have to make some adjustments while we’re doing that.

[00:24:31] The other thing that is really goes back to my word of the year is, is finding joy this year and figuring out how I can have more fun. In my daily life, not adding like a big new thing and, but really just enjoying the life I have today to be present, to be grateful for what I have and find ways to make what I’m already doing more.

[00:24:57] As my kids have gotten a little bit older. They’ve given me a little more freedom and flexibility in the afternoon. Um, when they were very little, it was just, you know, this from four to 6:00 PM was just like this, like meltdown central and somebody was crying all of the time. And it just was a very draining part of my day now that they are actually playing together pretty well.

[00:25:22] Some of the time, um, like lately for the month of January, I was able to. Get audio books and listen to them while I was cooking dinner. And I don’t know, maybe you love to cook dinner. I know some people derive a lot of joy from that. Um, but I’m at this season of life where I felt like somebody is always complaining about the food and it’s, it’s become more of like the thing I have to do then the thing I enjoy doing and.

[00:25:47] Looking for ways to make that more fun. And for me this month has been listening to an audio book while I’m cooking. Um, and yes, I still get interrupted a lot, but, um, the days that I’ve been able to do that have just made a task that I already have to do on a regular basis, make it a little more fun. So I’m continuing to look for ways that I can make everyday life more.

[00:26:12] And then the last piece that I’m looking at how I want to adjust my schedule for the coming month is I’m finding this time to rest, but I really want to add more plate into my schedule. And, you know, I live in this beautiful location right now where there’s gorgeous beaches. There’s a lots of hikes.

[00:26:35] Um, I would love to go paddleboard. And there’s all of these, what I feel like are once in a lifetime opportunities. Um, and it’s so easy to miss it when I get into the everyday grind of what needs to get done. And I want to be able to carve out some space to really enjoy where I’m at and take advantage of that.

[00:26:56] And so I’m continuing to look for, well, how can I find time in this monthly schedule to where we could go. Explore and have a little more fun and not just do the things that we have to do. Um, uh, find another way to just really embrace and have fun with life in the midst of everything else going on. So those are kind of my January.

[00:27:24] What kind of goals I set, um, what actually happened, how I adjusted, what I practice gratitude about what my wins were, um, and how I want to continue to grow in my own. If  you found this helpful, please let me know.

[00:27:50] If you’re not a part of our milspouse mastermind community, we would love to have you in there and you can join just by going to milspousemastermind.com/ community, or you can do a search for it in the Facebook search bar, under groups. Um, we’d love to see you in there. You can always send me an email, send me a DM on Instagram at mil spouse mastermind, and I would just absolutely love your feedback.

[00:28:18] ’cause I, I really want to be able to share a piece of my life with you and to just show you what it looks like. Um, I’m going to have a lot more interesting months in the months ahead as we prepare for another OCONUS PCs. And I, when I kind of take you away. For the ride on that, I’m sure I’m going to have like great months and really challenging months, but I just want to be honest about what this looks like in the life of a military spouse.

[00:28:50] The last thing I will say. You have found any value in this show? Um, I would love it if you would go to iTunes and leave us a quick one sentence review and rating on there that helps the algorithm and the feed. It helps more people find us. And it just gives me that. Feedback and lets me know what you enjoy listening to so that I can provide more valuable content for you.

[00:29:19] I hope you have an amazing week. And until next time may you live filled, fueled and full of joy.