Are you ready to take back your time and your schedule? Today we’re talking about the number one tool you need to prioritize your time and your schedule. And it might not be what you think. This tool is going to get you started on your journey to clarifying what you want in life, knowing how to prioritize what matters to you, how to pursue your dreams without sacrificing your well-being, and then figuring out what steps you need to take to move forward on your journey to purpose, meaning, and building a life love. So let’s dive into what this tool is and how you can use it today.

[00:01:40] Okay, friends. If you have not already done so, head over to the milspouse mastermind community, a free Facebook group to help you, together with other military spouses, on this journey of figuring out what it looks like to pursue your dreams, to figure out what matters to you, and then how to get unstuck and how to live a life of purpose.

[00:02:07] We are in there encouraging one another. We are supporting each other on our journeys to finding and living out our purposes. And I would love to see you in that group. You can find the link in the show notes below or head over to Milspouse,mastermind.com/community. And if you are already a part of our community, invite a friend into the Facebook group.

[00:02:32] We are better together. And the more ideas, the more community we can build, the better impact we can make, the more people that we can encourage to really step into their story and live their life with impact. And if you want to see more military spouses stepping into their dreams, pursuing the thing that is on their heart, then join with us and invite your friends into the group. I can’t wait to see more of you in there -interacting, talking about what clarity you are receiving, and how you are moving forward on your journey.

[00:03:04] So today we’re talking about what you need to prioritize your life, your time, and your schedule. We started this two-part series on the prioritization playbook.

[00:03:30] We want to find more time, more margin, and do less better. And so today is the second part of that process. The step-by-step guide to prioritize what matters to you. Last week we talked about how we all have 24 hours in a day and that productivity, by itself, is not the solution. It comes down to our mindset, the practical process for clarifying what matters, eliminating the excess, and establishing the goals, rhythms, habits, and routines.

[00:04:08] We need to prioritize what matters most, and then ultimately having it become a part of who we are and lead us to discover who we are meant to be. So today we’re going to talk about what you need, which is essentially the process of clarifying what matters most to you. The tool I am talking about today is my values worksheet.

[00:04:37] This is a worksheet that you can go download and it will take you through a step-by-step process to really distill and clarify what your core values are, values that are going to help you make better decisions, set better goals and pursue better dreams, or pursue the dreams without sacrificing what matters to you.

[00:05:05] So if you want to, you can go ahead and either look in the show notes below or head over to milspousemastermind.com/values, download that worksheet and follow along with us on today’s episode. The reason I decided to devote this episode to that worksheet is because I know for so many of you, you don’t have the time to do that.

[00:05:30] You are listening in the car, you’re listening while you’re cooking dinner, doing laundry, whatever errands you have to do. And it’s just something that you like to listen to in the background, but you don’t have the time to…or you don’t remember to get that download. So what I decided is that we should just talk through the process together on today’s episode.

[00:05:53] And really, even if you don’t have the time to really set aside quality alone time to reflect on this process. You can be thinking about these questions as you’re going about your life. And really start making progress towards what matters to you.

[00:06:16] What we’ve talked about so far is that finding your values is important because we have to know what matters most to us, in order to pursue the things that matter. In order to do less but better. In order to live a life of meaning and purpose, and really build the skills, and show up as we’re meant to show up, and do the things that we’re meant to do.

[00:06:41] It starts with clarity. And a big piece of this clarity is figuring out what your core values are. If you’re like me, you grew up in the culture that told you, you could have it all, do it all, be anything you wanted to be. But we all have limitations. And the number one limitation is our time. If we want to live a life that allows us to show up as the person we were created to be, without excess anxiety, overwhelm and exhaustion, then we have to accept the reality that we can’t do it all.

We will find more peace, purpose, joy, fulfillment, and even happiness when we choose to prioritize what matters to us – not for the sake of happiness, but for the sake of showing up as the person who we’re meant to be, living a sustainable life of well-being, connection, and impact.

[00:07:34] So we need clarity on who we are, what we value, and how we were created to show up and serve. This is going to help you figure out what your values are so that you can show up as your authentic self. You can be the best version of you, you can move towards that, and make the most of each and every day.

[00:08:00] So the number one thing you have to realize is that you have a unique combination of skills, gifts, and experiences and values that no one else has. There’s only one you, and there’s something in you. You have something to offer the world. So that’s the number one thing you need to know. The second thing that you need to know is that finding your values is a discovery process.Your actions, your experiences, your beliefs, and how you spend your time will guide you to the unique combination of values that is most reflective of who you are. So we’re going to walk through this process together.

[00:08:42] The third thing you need to know before we start that process is that finding your values is about what is important and unique to you. It is not about which values you think are most desirable or virtuous, or even which values you think you want.

[00:09:08] If you try to think of values in terms of what others would approve of, or what culture values, or who somebody else wants you to be, you’re never going to get to the essence of who you are meant to be. So try to put aside what you think is most virtuous or desirable or expected or whatever.

[00:09:34] Focus on finding what’s inside of you and really distilling the uniqueness of you. You were created with and for our purpose. I love this quote from Elvis Presley. Values are like fingerprints. Nobody’s are the same. But you leave them on over everything you do.

[00:10:03] Everything we do is ultimately going to reflect our values, or at least it should, if we’re living in alignment. Because if we have certain values and we’re not living them out, then we’re going to feel out of alignment. Another word I hear a lot is congruence. We’re not going to feel congruent. Something’s going to feel off.

[00:10:22] We’re going to feel like life is not fulfilling because we’re not living in alignment with who we were created to be. With how as individuals we were meant to show up. So here are 10 questions that you can ask yourself to help you get clarity on what your core values are.

Number one, what are some of the most memorable experiences in your life and what values might have been displayed in those experiences? Think about something that really meant something to you. Think through the story in your mind. Walk through what happened and why it happened. Why do you think that was impactful to you? What do you remember most? And were there any values reflected in that?

[00:11:27] For example, in college I had no experience in this one activity. But I really just had a desire to do it. And so I tried out, I made the team, I did the thing. I was not great at it. But when I looked back on that experience, the thing that I came away with was that I was not afraid to try something new. I was not afraid to fail. It was more important for me to try something, to have that experience, and to really push myself out of my comfort zone.

[00:12:05] And one of the core values I have realized about myself is this desire for growth, for personal growth and development. And really pushing myself to continually be a lifelong learner. I took a meaningful or memorable experience and then I reflected on, what did I do? Why was that experience meaningful? And what can I take away from that? How does that reflect who I am inside and what some of my values are?

[00:12:29] The second question, what are you passionate about? Just take some time to think about what some of your passions are. And then question number three, what you hate or dislike and why? So when we think about being passionate, we think about having a strong feeling towards something. This can be on the positive side, things that we love, things that light us up.

[00:13:10] It can also be on the negative side. Things that we hate, things that we strongly dislike, things that we have a moral objection to. So look at passion from the side of what do I love and what do I care about, and look at it from the negative perspective of what do I hate? What do I have a strong, negative, emotional response to?

[00:13:36] Question number four. What makes you feel inspired? What brings you joy? Number five. What are some of your core beliefs? What things tug on your heart, whether that is your faith, or your belief in God or the universe. Whatever your core beliefs, what are some of the core beliefs inside of you?

[00:14:17] Number six. Who is someone that you deeply respect, or even a few people that you deeply respect? What do you respect about them? What values do they demonstrate? Are any of those values ones that you admire? Because here’s the thing. You don’t have to look at someone’s life and love everything about their life, but there’s probably some element when you look at somebody in your.

[00:14:41] Oh, like, I’m really interested in this person. I really enjoy following them. What is it about their life? It could be just one particular aspect of their life. For example, I admire Jen Hatmaker and her ability to have these deeply connected friendships that have been a part of her life for decades. That’s something that is not really a part of my life because I move around all the time, but I crave those deep, long-lasting friendships. So that is an element that I admire about her.

[00:15:13] When I think about my coach, Stephanie Gass, I admire that fact that she has built a company around just showing up and serving people and seeing how monetization comes when you are showing up and seeking to serve through podcasting. So those things show me that I value friendships. I value showing up to serve.

[00:15:37] I want a business that is about hoping and serving. I admire several women entrepreneurs who have built businesses with kids at home, and they found a way to do it without working themselves to death and not being present for their families. And really what I admire about these women and how they have chosen to role model the way is this idea of balance. Learning to balance what you do and your purpose with your family, with your relationships, with caring for yourself. So when you look at people around you, find the people who you admire. Figure out who your role models are. What elements of their life speak to you? And what does that tell you about who you are, what you value, and what kind of life you want to live?

[00:16:28] Now, the next three questions go together. The seventh question is what do you do on a typical week? Number eight. What do you do on a typical weekend? Number nine? What would you like to do but you never have time to do?

[00:17:00] These three questions are looking at how you spend your schedule and how you would like to spend your schedule. That can also be an indication of  things that are important to you, that you value, or things that show you that maybe there’s something that’s not in alignment with how you’re actually living here.

[00:17:24] And then number 10, if you had to pick three values that you would want to pass on to your children or to others in your life, what would those three things be?

Now the next step is to take all of the answers to these questions and make a list of all the values you see at play in your life. And one way that you can do this is just by looking at your answers to your questions and then a list of common values.

[00:17:59] If you have downloaded the worksheet, you will see some examples there. There are plenty of examples if you just type in values list into your Google search bar. You’ll come up with several lists out there. I want you to use these words and start to see all the values that you see at work in your life. And really start to think through that.

[00:18:22] Now, once you have done that, you want to categorize the values into related groupings. So for example, if one value you see is achievement and another value you see is accomplishment, .those two words would be similar. You can categorize them together. And then based on your categories, pick the word that feels most reflective of you.

[00:18:57] If you are stuck on a particular word, this is a great time to consult a dictionary or thesaurus. And then once you have all your category groupings, you want to pick the top 10 values that you see drive your life and work.

This is where we start narrowing things down, and where it gets a little more tricky, because it can feel like, well, all these things are important to me. And that is true. But there’s usually some that are more important than others. And this part can take the most time, to really hone in and narrow down what those are. So start with your categories. Now, pick the top 10 values in your life and work. Now, once you have gotten to that top 10, it’s time to rank them again.

[00:19:51] And what I recommend is you take your top five to seven values. And then you rank them in order of importance. And when I was doing this process for the first time, it took me awhile to really distill which ones were more important than another. So I narrowed it down to my top 10. Then I narrowed it down to my top seven.

[00:20:15] Ultimately I have a list of my top three, and then my top seven that I am aware of in my life. Once you have gotten to this point, you need to put your list aside, give it a break and come back at a later time. Because you want to see if that was just something you were feeling in the moment, or if the values you selected, still feel like an accurate reflection of who you are and what you want your life to be about.

[00:20:50] So once you’ve narrowed down to that top three-to-seven values, how does that list make you feel? Do they feel consistent with your identity or inconsistent with your identity? Are they reflective of how you want to show up and who you want to be? If the answer is yes, one of two things are true. Yes. This is reflective of my life. Or yes, this is reflective of who I went to be, but I’m understanding that I am not living in alignment with these values. Then, you know, you’re at least in the right direction.

[00:21:29] Because after we have come up with our values, then we learn to align our everyday actions and activities with those values so that we can truly get unstuck and pursue a life of purpose today without sacrificing our well-being. Our connection with others. What matters most to us.

[00:21:58] Our values help us determine how we spend our most valuable resource. And if you’re not sure what your most valuable resource is, it’s time. Because that is the one thing that all of us had the same amount of. We want to use these values to help us live every day with more intentionality, and pursue a life that more authentically reflects who we are, what lights us up, how we show up and how we serve others.

[00:22:35] This will lead us to a life of greater wholeness, caring for ourselves. For those we are in relationship. And for the world around us. And as we align our everyday actions with our values, our lives become our purpose. And perhaps even more importantly, a work of art that positively impacts and inspires others.

[00:23:05] Our lives become our legacy. And I think that is something that deep down we all want. We want to live more fully and more authentically and become who we were meant to be. So that in a nutshell is the process of clarifying and distilling our values, so that we can make decisions about how we show up, how we live day in and day out, how we serve others, how we show up for our family and spend our time.

[00:23:47] That is our starting point. Knowing what our values are and how we can align, what we do to show up as the best version of ourselves. And ultimately live the life we were created to live. I hope that by walking you through this process today, you get more clarity. That you can find some time to really reflect on these questions, to answer these questions, to really distill what your values are so that you can take the next step in your journey.

[00:24:21] If you found value in today’s episode, please go share it with others. Tag me if you share it in your stories or send me a DM. Pop into the Facebook group. Let us know what your discovery process was like, what your values are and, what you’re learning about yourself in the process. So that we can show up and encourage and support each other on this journey. I am so excited to hear from you. Until next time may you live filled, fueled and full of joy.