Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of the milspouse mastermind show. I’m so excited to be back with you today. Today, we’re going to be talking about this idea of pursuing a dream on your heart. If you’ve been listening to the show for awhile, you know that this month we’re doing a 30 day clarity challenge in our free Facebook group.

[00:00:20] Every day, we have a question to help get clarity on who you are, what lights you up, and what calling you have on your heart. Some of you are still working through this and still trying to get clarity on what your thing is, what your purpose is, how you align, what you do with who you are, and how you can use that to live a fulfilling and meaningful life.

[00:00:45] But for some of you, you’ve already come up with a dream. You realize that there is something pulling on your heart and you need to start taking steps. Getting more clarity on that. So for those of you who have a dream on your heart today, we’re going to talk about what it looks like to actually pursue a dream as a military spouse.

[00:01:11] How do you go about building this dream. How do you keep pressing forward? How do you know when it’s time to pivot or press pause on your dream, so that you don’t burn yourself out and quit and give up? So let’s dive in to the show.

We have this clarity challenge going on, and this discovery phase is so important because we have to take the time to stop and reflect on our skills, our desires, our fears, our joys, and figure out what it is that we were born to do. There is a purpose and a calling on each of us. We have something valuable to offer, that the world needs. We have been uniquely gifted, something we have to share with others.

You start this by asking, what are my skills, what am I good at? My passions, my interests, what frustrates me? Is easy for me? What did I love as a child? What are some of the major defining moments of my life? And what problem do I want to help solve?

[00:03:12] When we take the time to answer these questions, we will see themes began to emerge about our life, themes that give us clues as to what dreams are on our heart. Really, this is all about having fun, getting to know ourselves again, and know what dreams are inside of us.

[00:03:43] Often these dreams have just been placed on the back burner, whether it’s because we did what someone else expected of us, or whether it’s because we traded it in for a life of comfort, or we traded it in because we knew that we just needed to be there to support our family and our active duty spouse.

[00:04:08] But when we bury those dreams, those passions, those gifts inside of us, we wind up feeling stuck and frustrated. So we have to allow ourselves to start dreaming again, to figure out what we value, who we want to be, what lights us up and what kind of life we want to create for ourselves and others.

[00:04:37] Back in episode nine, we talked about this seven step process for building a life we love, what we do, and we realized that the life that we are currently living doesn’t look like the life we want. And the first four steps of this process are all about acknowledging where we’re currently at and then figuring out what we actually want out of life. This is where we define that truth.

[00:05:01] But then the next three steps are about laying that groundwork for bringing that dream to life. It’s about tweaking. It’s about trying new things to figure out what works, what doesn’t, it’s about gaining new skills and doing the things that are necessary to start moving towards making our dreams a reality.

[00:05:24] But here’s the thing about pursuing our dreams. They’re not easy. If it were easy, everyone would do it. Everyone would live a life of purpose. But so many of us don’t because it’s a lot of work. It takes courage and consistency and commitment. And you’re probably going to have a few false starts or mess ups or pivots along the way.

[00:05:56] Last year, I heard this quote from Dawn Cherie Wilkerson that has stuck with me. She said, “Living the dream is different from dreaming the dream.” Dreaming the dream is exciting because there’s so many possibilities. There’s so much that we can learn about ourselves and the world around us. And it’s exciting to think through possibilities, to think through the life that we want to create, to think about what kind of day, week, month, year we want to live, how we want to use our gifts to serve others and how we can live a life of impact.

So we dream the dream, but then there’s living the dream. We can dream all day and that’s great. But so many of us stop at that moment. We just keep dreaming the dream. We never take the action steps towards actually living the dream. Why is that? What does it look like to live the dream?

[00:07:13] How do we actually pursue the dream or idea that’s on our heart? Well, today I want to talk about five truths about actually pursuing a dream as a military spouse. Because we all know that life is unpredictable, that so many things are outside of our control. It just makes it all the more easy to give up and put our dreams on the back burner.

[00:07:41] So the number one thing is to choose courage. We have to understand the things that are holding us back and be honest about that. Sometimes we just keep dreaming the dream because we let fear hold us back or our circumstances hold us back. Or we let the life that is familiar and comfortable, even if we don’t love it. It’s what we know.

[00:08:15] And it’s easier than stepping out in courage, in faith, into the unknown. What happens when we don’t step out? Well, it might be a life of boredom. It might be a lack of impact. What if the thing that you were meant to do never happens because you never stepped into your calling? What if the thing that is on your heart is the thing that somebody desperately needs right now?

[00:08:50] And the choice to be that light, that hope, that encouragement, that answer that they need is completely dependent on your willingness to step out into the unknown, into facing your fears. We have to choose courage, to choose courage over comfort. Choose courage over our fears. Now, if you head over to the website, you can find some of my old blog posts that talk about this challenge of choosing courage and what that practically looks like.

[00:09:30] I’ll probably do an episode on here at some point specifically about choosing courage, but we have to choose courage over fears over our comfort to make progress towards our dream. Otherwise it will always stay a dream.

[00:09:59] The second thing is to practically own our worth. When we think about a dream, it’s really about reviving a great vision for your life. And really it comes down to believing that you have something valuable to offer. That your story and your skills matter. And the first step is to actually believe that, but then to practically own that. To understand that you are capable of taking steps towards who you want to be, and doing something that will light you up and impact the world for good.

[00:10:25] When I talk about practicing owning our worth. The best quote that I read came from Jessica Honneger’s book, Imperfect Courage. And she said, “We can’t get to where we want to go in life until we trust the us that is taking us there. And unless that us is healthy and happy and whole, we will never arrive in one piece.”

[00:10:53] Because here’s what I see happen most often. We have this dream. We go for that dream and we get caught up in the hustle and drive to be successful in our dream. When you start something, when you chase a dream, there is a lot to do, and it is so easy to get overwhelmed and caught up in the hustle. And so many people out there will tell you, you just have to hustle to get started.

[00:11:26] That’s not an option. Just work, work, work, chase that dream, do what it takes. Work the 70, 80 hour weeks in order to see success. And here’s where I want to come back. You’re gonna burn yourself out, especially as military spouses that don’t have that support system. If you do not take steps to practically own your worth and prioritize your health and your wholeness, you’ll never get there.

[00:11:59] You’ll never arrive in one piece. You won’t be able to prioritize what matters most to you and to your family. You won’t be able to support your spouse and chase your dreams. It just doesn’t happen. And it’s hard because you’re not going to move as quickly as somebody that’s working 70, 80 hours a week.

[00:12:22] But what we are focused on is a life of wholeness. Of impact. A life that aligns what we do with who we are, and that does not happen overnight. Or even in the short term, what we are doing is setting ourselves up for a lifetime of impact of building a life that we love that impacts the world for good, and that is something that I don’t think it’s talked about enough, because we want to see success in the short term.

[00:12:55] But what we really need is success for the long-term, to leave a legacy of impact. So we have to care for ourself along the way, to care for our body, our mind, our spirit, our family, and steward the resources that we have. We have to take responsibility for our lives. And set the example, so that we can empower others to do the same.

[00:13:25] This is the big vision for my life is to help you reframe how you think about life as a military spouse and show you that it is possible to chase your dreams and live a life of purpose without burning yourself out without sacrificing your health and your relationships along the way. So, as we talked about in episode 15, our foundation has to be built on a foundation of rest.

[00:13:58] If we are not starting from a place of rest and prioritizing rest in our lives, if we are not caring for ourselves, our physical, mental, spiritual health, we will never get to make the impact that we are meant to make and live the life that we were meant to live. So number one, choose courage. Number two practically own your worth every single day.

[00:14:25] Number three prioritize the dream. This is the most practical component to this whole process, because there is only one thing that can get you through the difficulty of bringing a dream to life. And that is your schedule. And for some of you, you are schedule people. You’re detailed people. You just want to live your life on a schedule.

[00:14:53] And for some of you that is the last thing you want in life. You just want to take life as it comes. You want to just live in the moment and not be tied to a particular calendar or a schedule. But if you want to bring a dream to life, you have to set a schedule, especially if you have young kids, because how much time you have to devote to your dream is going to look different in each season of your life,

[00:15:25] Whether your kids are in school all day, whether you’re at home with littles, whether you have newborn at home, whether your spouse is deployed. The best thing you can do to actually pursue a dream is set a schedule and time block specific times that you will work on your dream.

[00:15:46] Now I know, because I have been in that place where I said I do not have time to pursue a dream. From the time I wake up in the morning to the time I go to sleep at night, every minute of every hour is spoken for. I’ve been in that place when my spouse was deployed. When I had a young kid, when I was working a full-time job, where I was trying to volunteer at my church and do all the things.

[00:16:14] You’re never going to make progress on your dream unless you actually devote time to it. Now, for some of you, you may be in that season of literally not having any extra hours in the day. You are just using whatever moments you have to move towards becoming who you’re meant to be, to learning more, to exploring possibilities for how you’re going to bring that dream to life when you have time..

[00:16:45] It’s reading books, listening to podcasts. It’s learning practical skills that will move you closer so that when you have time to chase your dream, you will actually make progress and not just spend all that time, spinning your wheels. It’s not about waiting until you have a big block of time.

[00:17:08] It’s about baby steps that you can take each and every day. So if you are in that season of literally not having any extra time in your schedule, just take baby steps that move you closer to who you want to be. Now, if you do have time, and a lot of us have more time in our schedule than we realize. If you were to take a seven day period and keep track of everything you do for every hour in those seven days, could you find at least five hours in that block of time that you could devote to your dream?

[00:17:49] If you have littles, maybe it’s the hour of nap time in the afternoon. And yes, I know that is like the only opportunity to get anything done. But if you are serious about chasing a dream, then maybe that’s that time that you have to devote to your dream. Or it’s waking up an extra hour early in the morning to devote to your dream. Or choosing to spend two nights a week after your kids go to bed working towards your dream. Or it’s a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. Whatever it is.

[00:18:27] Can you find a block of time and devote it to your dream? And then once you devote that time to your dream, then you actually have to stick with that schedule. You have to show up each and every time, even when you don’t feel like it.

[00:18:53] A few weeks back, I shared the story. This author choose to leave his job and become a writer. But what he did not do was just say, Hey, I want to become a writer and quit. He set the goal, Hey, I want to be a writer. And then he said, okay, if I want to be a writer, then I’m going to practice by writing a certain number of words each day. And then he committed to that.

[00:19:15] So every morning, whether he felt writer’s block or not, he got up and wrote a certain number of words. So it’s choosing to show up for that commitment, even when you don’t feel like it, to make progress towards your dreams. So look at your schedule, figure out how much time you can devote to your dream, and then actually show up to that time block every time.

[00:19:39] For me, when I first started blogging, I had a part-time job, a newborn and two toddlers at home. And so I did not have a specific amount of time every week that I could devote to that dream. But it was choosing when I had a free evening. Or my husband watched the kids for a couple of hours on a Saturday, and then I would sit down and devote that time to writing my next blog post.

[00:20:09] I was not as consistent as I wanted to be in that blog. And therefore I did not see a whole lot of growth from the blog itself, but the important skill that I was learning was to choose to use the time that I had to pursue the thing that was on my heart. So whatever that looks like in your season of life, as a military spouse, continue to choose the opportunities that you do have.

[00:20:40] And if you do have that margin in your schedule, if you do look at your week and say, Hey, I’m spending too much time scrolling the newsfeed on Facebook, or I’m spending this much time watching Netflix, or whatever that distraction is for you. And then figure out how much time you can devote to pursuing your dream and becoming who you’re meant to be. Can you devote five hours a week to your dream right now?

[00:21:07] Number four, pivot and persevere. In episode 17, we sat down with Christie Kinneston and talked about what it looked like for her to pursue a life of purpose in every season of life, as a new military spouse, as a mom of littles, and with a husband that was often deployed.

[00:21:37] She shared what it looked like for her to recognize that she was feeling that tug to move into a new season, and how that evolved over time, and how she pursued the dreams that were on her heart. And how she continued to pivot as she learned more about what was and was not working for her and her family in each season.

[00:22:02] She felt this tag towards, okay. I think I have the time, the margin in my schedule that I could actually go back to work, and I want to work from home and I want it to be flexible. And these other parameters that we’re working with. So I think I can do that as a virtual assistant. And then after getting into working as a virtual assistant realizing, Hey, this isn’t lighting me up.

[00:22:29] And if I’m taking the time away from my family and my kids, then I want it to be something that lights me up as well. So if it’s not virtual assistant, then what is it? And she found that for her, the answer was copywriting. Something that gave her that flexible schedule, that she could do from home and still be there for her kids and for her family.

[00:22:52] This is what I’m talking about. When we talk about pivoting and persevering, it’s not going to be easy. We’re going to have to keep going. Even when it’s uncomfortable, when it gets hard, we keep going. But also we have to be able to recognize, is this something that is lighting me up and is this the right fit?

[00:23:11] So you’re probably going to have a few things that aren’t the right fit or don’t work as well for you and your family, as you thought it was going to. So if you try a work from home job and you’re like, Hey, this is better than me working outside the home, or this is better than me not working in this time period, but it’s still not the right thing.

[00:23:35] Tweaking. Figuring out where you need to pivot, and what’s going to allow you to make that impact. That’s going to light you up, but still have margin for what matters. And then the last thing I will say about pivoting and persevering is that you are not going to be an expert in the beginning. And sometimes, for some of us, especially those like myself who are recovering perfectionist, that’s hard because we want to do things that we are good at.

[00:24:09] While you may have natural skills and abilities in a particular area. The chances of starting something new is that you’re going to do things that you’ve never done before. And that means you are a beginner. Let’s say that you learned to play an instrument. You would not be an expert in the beginning. It takes lots of hours of practice to become good at any craft.

[00:24:36] This is a mantra that I have to keep in my mind all the time. Every expert was once a beginner. And just because I am not skilled, or as skilled as I would like to be, that doesn’t mean I can’t get there. I have to keep practicing, to keep working at my craft until I become that expert. So understand that you’re not going to be an expert at the beginning and just get comfortable with that.

[00:25:07] Okay. So we have talked about choosing courage. Practically owning our worth every single day, prioritizing our dream and putting it on a schedule, pivoting and persevering when things get tough and then number five, bring others into the dream. If you have a dream on your heart, a dream that truly impacts the world for good, that lights you up. Don’t keep it to yourself.

[00:25:41] Share your dream with others. We were made for relationships. We were never meant to do life alone and the easiest way to burn ourselves out and quit is if we keep the dream to ourselves. Most people never go after their dreams. And the world is in awe of those who actually do.

[00:26:08] They’re thrilled to be a part of what you’re doing and to see you actually persevering and chasing your dreams. We will go farther and do more if we are not in it alone. So invite others to help you in your dream, share with others about your dream, find community and connection and support for your dream. Never be afraid to share what you’re doing and ask for help.

[00:26:40] This is key to not burning ourselves out and not giving up. So how can you bring others into your.dream? Can you find connection and support? Can you share with friends or family members or those around you? If you need more support, please come join our Facebook group. It’s a free community for military spouses who are searching for purpose and seeking to pursue their dreams.

[00:27:08] So head over to Facebook, join the group, share what you’re doing, so that we can help support you as you chase your dreams. Yes, pursuing a dream is hard. Pursuing a dream as a military spouse is even harder. Pursuing a dream that matters as a military spouse without sacrificing your health and sanity is even harder. But it is the way to leave a lasting legacy, to live a life of impact. To do the thing that you were put here on this earth to do.

[00:27:36] So what does it look like to pursue a dream? It looks like choosing courage over fear. It looks like practically owning your worth and caring for yourself. It looks like prioritizing your dream. It looks like learning to persevere and to pivot and bringing others into your dream.

[00:28:02] So, if you have a dream on your heart, step one, go hop inside of our Facebook group. Share what that dream is. Or you can send me a DM on Instagram @milspousemastermind. I would love to talk with you about your dream. If you are feeling stuck and you’re not sure how to schedule out time for your dream, or you’re not sure what that is.

[00:28:22] And how you want to live your life. You need a little more clarity or just someone to help talk you through what that dream actually looks like. Then send me an email. christine@milspousemastermind.com and request one of the five. Get unstuck. Discover you sessions at the special summer rate. When they’re gone, they’re gone.

[00:28:46] I understand what it’s like to feel like you have something on your heart, but you can’t quite figure out what that is or how to move towards it. So if that is something that you need, I want to be able to offer that to you and help you get unstuck and move towards a life of purpose until next time may you live filled, fueled and full of joy.