Christine: [00:00:00] Hey friends. And welcome back to another episode of the MilSpouse mastermind show. I’m so excited to be with you. I’m sitting behind my mic and chatting with you today. It is a crazy week for us here on Guam, because it’s both the week of Operation Christmas Drop and Rota walk. So let me tell you a little bit about what’s going on in my world.

And then we’re going to dive into talking about stress and I figured the best way to. Introduce this topic is by sharing what’s going on in my life right now. So we have number one, operation Christmas drop, which is celebrating its 70th anniversary. It’s the department of defenses or longest running humanitarian.

Operation. What this means is that for the last 70 years, Operation Christmas Drop is a private organization throughout the island of Guam. Throughout the year, we’re collecting donations and doing fundraising and getting [00:01:00] supplies. And then these supplies are airdropped from C130s during the drop to more than 60 islands throughout the Pacific.

Each year, these islands are really remote. And a lot of times this is the only way that they get these kinds of supplies. So the week before the drop, you have people throughout the base that assort, that sort, all the donations, and then there are boxed up and packed up. They have supplies, clothing, food, rice, fishing equipment, and some toys, school supplies for the kids.

They box those. Too and get them ready to go on all the planes. Last year, Netflix actually released movie based on these events and you can go to Netflix and find the movie operation Christmas drop. It’s super fun to watch, in my opinion, because it was actually filmed here on Andersen. And so I tell people, if you want to see what our [00:02:00] base looks like, just go watch the movie and you can see it.

Um, you can just laugh at all of the parts that are not entirely accurate, like glowing geckos. Um, yes, we do have geckos that come into our houses. No, they do not look like that! So we have operation Christmas Drop going on, and then we have Rota walk, which is the other big thing taking place this week where our entire street gets completely decked out in Christmas lights and display.

And, um, people sign up to walk through the street, for the, for the weekend. It’s really fun thing to do because the cause we live on a tropical island that doesn’t really get winter and it doesn’t necessarily feel like Christmas. You don’t have all of the normal feelings of the holidays. So, you know, a lot of island living can, can make you lose sight of, oh, I miss all the things that I normally associate [00:03:00] with winter and with Christmas, but it’s just a really fun festive atmosphere and a chance to get a little tropical Christmas.

So excited about that. But I bring all of this up to say, That means for a lot of people on our base this week, there’s been a lot of added stress, pulling all of these things together. So I thought, well, this is the perfect time for us to have a conversation about stress. What it is, why it happens, and how we can productively deal with it so that we don’t experience some of the negative adverse effects.

So, what do you say let’s dive in to today’s episode?

Are you tired of putting your own dreams and plans on hold? Do you feel stuck waiting for some future season to chase your. You and my friend were made for more, more than the [00:04:00]managing of schedules, keeping up with kiddos and holding down the home front. Hi, I’m Christine, a military spouse of over 10 years.

Mom of littles and coffee connoisseur. I’m here to help you navigate life as a military spouse, get unstuck and craft a life with purpose. You have something valuable to offer. And when you pursue the things that light your heart on fire, you trade frustration for fulfillment and isolation for a life of impact. It’s time to discover who you are meant to be because together we can change the world.

Friends. Can I ask you one big, big favor for me? And that would be to go to iTunes and leave a rating and review for the show. This is how their algorithm works, that we get found by more people who need this content, where we have a community of military spouses that come together and learn [00:05:00] how to navigate.

Military life and thrive how we get unstuck and learn to craft lives with purpose so that we can find that sense of meaning and purpose and fulfillment and the so that we can stop struggling with our mental and emotional health. You can have a huge impact in the lives of others by doing this one simple thing, going to iTunes and leaving a review for the show.

Now, if you do not have apple iTunes, any products, see if you can borrow a friend’s device and leave us a rating and review. If you’re, aren’t sure how to do that, it’s slightly different, whether you’re doing it from a computer or from the phone, but I will have all of those instructions. Available in our Facebook group the MilSpouse mastermind community, or, I’ll also put it on our Instagram page at mil spouse mastermind.

So you can learn how to do that. But if you would just [00:06:00] pause this episode right here, just take like two minutes and leave us a quick one sentence review. I would be so, so, so grateful. All right. Let’s dive into talking about stress and how that affects our body and what we can do about it.

So the first thing to know about stress is that it is a nearly universal human experience. We all experience stress. It’s a normal biological reaction to potentially. Situation. So, you know, we experience something that tells our body that we are in danger. So. Brain floods our body with chemicals and hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. So this is actually good. We in earlier times were designed so that we would have this mechanism that tells us, Hey, you’re in danger.

[00:07:00] Your body becomes heightened and aware of what’s going on and allows us to survive. That’s great, but stress is meant to be temporary. It’s meant to help us navigate a challenging situation. But the problem is when stress builds up in the body, when it’s not just an acute episode of stress, but it’s something that occurs over time.

It becomes chronic stress that we allow to build. And what happens is that it negatively affects our body. Both physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. It has a number of effects on some of the most. Common symptoms are feeling irritable, fatigued, lacking motivation, struggling with anxiety or worry.

Uh, you may get [00:08:00] headaches or you feel sad or depressed. You get muscle tension, your appetite could change. There’s a lot of different ways that stress can manifest it. According to the American Institute of stress. 77% of the population experience has experienced physical symptoms associated with stress on a regular basis.

And 73% say that stress affects their mental health. So we know that there are all sorts of symptoms and that it’s affecting a huge chunk of the popular. There’s a number of things in our lives that contribute to stress. So it could be, you know, money, work, relationships, job stability, or instability, family health issues, moving, trying to find housing, all these things.

And a lot of these things are important because [00:09:00] we face so many of these situations that cause stress on a regular basis. As a military family, and this is why I think it’s even more important for us to have this conversation. And as we get closer to Christmas and new year’s and all of the holiday activities, we’re going to feel even more things that are causing us stress.

The problem is we’re all experiencing these causes, right. Things that are causing us. But what are we doing with this stress? Are we dealing with them in a productive manner? Are we doing things that allow us to move through, to change our relationship with, and to deal with stress so that it doesn’t build up in our lives and cause us to have these negative reactions?

In my own life. I feel like this is so important because I’ve [00:10:00] seen how this has played out when I did not productively deal with my stress, even though I knew all of this information about stress, even though I knew it could cause negative mental, emotional, and physical effects. I still let it happen to me.

And I’ve talked about this before on the show, but you know, a year ago in the summer of 2020 with all of the craziness of our first overseas PCS, trying to sell a house by owner three small kids out of school, trying to work from home. And there was a pandemic going on. I got really sick. And the cause of that was stress.

I ended up having lots of fatigue, unexplained fever, just not feeling well, um, trying to deal with that. And eventually it led me to a painful bout with shingles, which they say, Hey, you’re really young to experience. But [00:11:00] stress is one of those things that can cause shingles. And if you ever have the chance to have shingles, I would say avoid it at all costs.

It’s extremely, extremely painful. And it has a lasting effects that will probably be with me for the foreseeable future, maybe the rest of my life, hopefully not, but, I still have lasting effects from that bout of shingles, which came from letting too much stress build up in my body. So I want to give you this word of caution so that you don’t let it happen to you.

Or if you know that you are under a lot of stress and a lot of pressure to start doing something about it right now. I thought let’s talk about just six or seven things that we can do to start productively dealing with our stress today. And the first thing to do is to inventory your stress. Take a piece of paper [00:12:00] out, just say what is causing me stress right now?

What is. One thing that has a domino effect on other things. So what I mean by this is if you inventory all the things that are causing you stress, is there one thing that by changing that one thing will help minimize some of the other things that are causing you. And then what can you do to focus on improving that area of stress?

Now it could be that stress is caused by a number of things and you cannot control. So you may have. Everything that is causing you stress right now and say, what can I actually control right now? And what things are outside my control, because if you can’t control it, then you’re just worrying about things that you cannot control.

And one of the most important things we can do is take control of our mind. We cannot [00:13:00]control what happens to us, but we can control what we do with what we have. So in other words, We have the ability to control our response to what happens to us. So if something is causing us stress, then we can evaluate it and say, what is going on?

Why do I feel this way? And then can I respond in a better or more productive? Now once we have inventoried our stress, the second thing we can do is to change our relationship with our stress.Instead of ignoring it, instead of being frustrated by it, instead of letting it build up, can we just accept what is and approach it from a place of.

How can I learn through this? How can I grow [00:14:00] through this? How can I stop fighting against what is happening and getting overwhelmed by my circumstances and say, I’m going to choose this. What is happening as an opportunity to grow, to improve, to. Reach the next level of my personal development. So, you know, some things we cannot control, but can we change our relationship the way that we view what is happening to us?

The third thing that we can do is to start with rest. I talk so often about the growth wheel and I’ll link that below in the show notes, but this is all about healthy inputs in how they lead to healthy outfits. And the number one place that we can start to take care of ourselves into live. A life of purpose is starting with rest because rest will pull us [00:15:00] out of that place of anxiety and stress and overwhelm.

Now, when I say rest, most of us immediately associate that with sleep and sleep is absolutely important. You know, we want to get at least seven to eight hours of sleep at night. If possible. I know it’s not always possible.

I still have kids that wake me up at night, but rest is more than just sleep. Rest and also involves the things that allow us to take time, to reflect and to do the things that fuel and fill us with life. So when we talk about rest, we talk about journaling and reflection and play because play is also important.

It restores our freedom and joy play contributes to resilience, and it forces us to give up control. We’re really good about resting and playing as kids. And then as life happens, [00:16:00] as our responsibilities increase so much of that, we push to the back burner. We, we know that it’s important, but we don’t. As important as our to-do list.

And so, so often it becomes rest and play become the thing that we put into our schedule last, if at all. And so the most important thing we can do if we want to productively deal with stress, if we want to change our relationship with our stress is to start with rest and play first, put that into your schedule and make it a non-negotiable part of your.

So then we want to practice self care. Now I know when we talk about self care, we think about bubble bath and bath bombs and all these other things. But I really, when I say self care, I want you to focus on your spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing. What [00:17:00] are the rhythms that you are incorporating in your life on a regular basis that will boost your spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing.

So this means things like moving your body, meditating, reading, journaling, talking with a counselor, fueling your body. The right food, spending time in prayer, these things that are sustainable rhythms that gets you to this sustainable place of healthy inputs, which will lead to healthy outfits. Now, when we talk about inputs and outputs, that leads us to the fourth thing we can do to productively deal with stress.

And that is to care for our fundamental needs, how we can connect and contribute because if any, one of these three buckets is not being filled life will [00:18:00] feel off, we will feel this sense of anxiety and greater stress because we feel the stress of being out of alignment with our true self, we were designing.

To care for ourselves to care for, and be in relationship and to have a sense of meaning and purpose a way that we contribute to those, to the world around us, where let me recap where we’re at real quick. Number one, we want to inventory our stress. So. What is causing us stress and how we can begin to deal with it.

Number two, we want to change our relationship to stress, to look for ways to move through it and to learn from. Then we want to, uh, start with rest. We want to be again by looking at how we practice rest and play. Then we want to [00:19:00] practice self-care I think maybe my numbering got off. Um, but then. Self care is important, but also caring for our three buckets.

Our fundamental needs, our care for ourself are how we connect with others and how we contribute to the world around. So these are all things, habits and rhythms that help us in the long-term. But what if we have already had stress that is built up, we need to know and practice the things that will help us that release the stress inside.

So, yes, having the regular habits and routines is going to help prevent stress from building up, but then we also need to know what outlets work for us that will help us release our stress. What will help you release that stress and that tension in your. So we want to make [00:20:00] this a regular rhythm of our everyday life so that we don’t have all this stress built up because when stress builds up and when we reach this part where it’s negatively affecting us mentally, or emotionally or physically, then we need to do even more to get ourself back to that place of a healthy.

Of equilibrium. In fact, if we don’t practice these healthy rhythms, then we wind up needing and in need of recovery. So where are you at right now in your stress level and what, what it’s going to help you release the stress that is built up in your body? For me? Travel is a great way for me to get away, to see something different and to unwind.

Now, if you have littles at home, It’s a different kind of stress relief. It’s not the same as like going and sitting on a hammock on a [00:21:00] beach for a week because you’re basically just parenting in a new look, new location, but there’s just something about getting away from the requirements and. You know, when I’m at home, I am constantly seeing everything that needs to be done, um, what needs to be taken care of.

And there’s just something about getting away that allows me to kind of push that stuff to the back burner and just help me be present. As far as regularly releasing stress, um, a big one for me is getting massages that really focus on my shoulders. Cause that’s where the tension builds up for me right now.

Journaling is huge for me, just being able to get out all of my thoughts on paper so that I’m self coaching myself, how to navigate through the. That I am feeling what, what I do with my fears related to some of these circumstances that are causing me stress right now, because [00:22:00] I have this as an option. I am taking as much advantage of it as I can, but really just staring at water.

Um, but I get to go, just sit on the beach for an hour and stare at the ocean and that. Is huge stress reliever for me. I know, like that’s not true for everybody, but there’s just something about staring out water that is really, really relaxing to me. And so I am incorporating that into my routines because that is a great way that helps me really stress in past, it’s been meeting a friend and just sharing a cup of coffee together that really talking through some of what’s going on that has.

Before kids, going and getting a pedicure. It was a great stress reliever for me. I just love sitting with the jets on my feet and the hot water and like having my feet cared for that used to be like, Stress reliever for me since having kids and littles at home, trying to get [00:23:00] away to do that has actually been more stress inducing than stress relieving.

So I haven’t done that in a while, but really it’s learning to know how your body responds to different activities and incorporating the. In your life that will help you deal with that stress that will offload some of that stress. So it’s not building up in your body. And so you don’t reach this place where you realized that you were so irritable, you’re not responding to your kids.

Well, you’re not responding to your spouse while you’re not showing up as the version of yourself that you want to be. And then the last thing I will say, and I say this a lot, but I think it’s so, so true. And we just need to be reminded of it because if you are someone like me, who just has this tendency towards negative self-talk it’s so, so, so important to give yourself grace.

We are all human. I have two. Self coach myself a lot. I’m just like [00:24:00] you, I’m a normal military spouse who struggles with stress on a regular basis who sometimes navigate seasons of life really well, and sometimes does not do it well at all. And so. This is a process of learning how to navigate and deal with and have a healthy relationship with stress so that we don’t let it build up so that we don’t end up, you know, having all of these negative, physical, mental, and emotional responses in our.

So as we are getting deep into December and into all of the normal stress that comes with the holiday season, I just want you to keep in mind these seven things, one in mentoring, your stress, learning to change your relationship with stress three, starting from a place of [00:25:00] rest. And. For practicing self care on a regular basis, five making sure your three fundamental needs.

Those buckets are being filled. How you care for yourself, connect with others and contribute to the world around you. Number six, finding outlets that will release the stress that you have in your body, knowing what those things are that help you release and relieve and decrease stress. And then number seven.

Giving yourself grace, understanding that this is part of the human experience that we all go through seasons, that we all have instances where we are not showing up as our best self and that. Are all doing the best that we can with what we have. I hope that you have an amazing week this week. If I can be of an [00:26:00] encouragement or support to you in any way, I would love to help support you in your journey.

Um, if you have not yet done, so feel free to head over. There’s a link in the show notes, or you can go to a mil spouse mastermind.com/growth wheel and download the growth wheel where you can see how all of the 10 areas of our life and how we can begin to take inventory of all the areas and start to establish healthy rhythms that will improve each of those areas so that we can live.

On a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly basis. Living not stress, not overwhelmed, not full of anxiety, but moving towards this place of peace of purpose of joy. I pray that you have an amazing week this week. I’m cheering you on. May you have a week living filled, fueled [00:27:00] and full of joy.

Hey friend, before you go, the MilSpouse mastermind community is here to help you thrive as a military spouse, figuring out what lights your heart on fire and equip you to create a life of impact. You can have an incredible. Simply by heading over to iTunes to subscribe and leave a review. And if today’s episode was meaningful to you, I know it will be for others to spread the word by taking a screenshot of this episode and share it to your stories so we can continue to reach more people change more lives and shift the way that military spouses look at life because we are better together and together we can change the world.

Let’s do it.