[00:00:00] The movies make it sound romantic girl falls in love with a service member. They throw caution to the wind, get married and live happily ever after. But that’s not at all what life is really like for so many military spouses. Girl falls in love, girl gives up her dreams to follow. The service member girl winds up not happy with the way that her life looks.

[00:00:29] Sound a little more realistic. What can we do about it? Is it possible to write a better story for your life? And if so, how do we pursue our own goals and dreams in the midst of military life? Do you have to give up your dreams? And what if you’ve already done that? Now, what is there a path forward to loving your life today, even if it doesn’t look the way you thought it?

[00:01:52] Guys, it’s out. I’ve been working on this for. A little or long while because military life and because my schedule has been so crazy lately, but it is finally here, the more than a meal spouse free workshop is finally available, and I’ll tell you all about it in a minute, but y’all, there was every obstacle in the.

[00:02:18] Just to bring this thing into existence. If you listen to my real life recaps, you know that life is kind of crazy right now and I’m still trying to figure out how to juggle everything that has to be on my plate in my current season. So I finally carved out a little bit of time to really get sit down and get this training done for you, and I had all the challenges.

[00:02:48] our housing office decided, well that would be the best week for them to paint our house. So they taped over all of the windows and started painting my house and I was like, Okay, I only have this window of time. Maybe they’ll be working on another area of the house. Oh no. They decided to set up, shop right outside my office window and play their music on full volume.

[00:03:16] While proceeding to paint this specific corner of the house in the window of time, I had set aside to record a new training for you. So it was definitely a moment where I was like, Okay, do some deep breaths. It’s time to have ano another. Reset and just embrace the challenges of military life, all the things that we cannot control.

[00:03:46] So I was like, Well, maybe you know, like we can do it and I won’t be able to hear their music. So I was. Set up everything anyways, and I tried to turn on my light because they covered over all of the windows in our house. So we’re not getting any natural light right now. So I was trying to turn on some extra light cuz I’m recording this video.

[00:04:07] I want you to be able to see what’s going on and my light starts all functioning and going off every few minutes. So I had some pep talks with myself about things outside of our control. And making the best with what you have. So it is done. We now have the live training of how to find your own identity, how to really trade that frustration.

[00:04:37] For fulfillment as a military spouse in the steps to help you get started, that is available on the website and I hope that so many military spouses are going to have the opportunity to go download this training and start saying, okay. Let me take back control of my life. Let me start to get clarity and find myself again, so that training is available when you go to milspouse mastermind.com/workshop.

[00:05:10] Now, before you head over there and start watching, I want to spin today laying the foundation. Of why this training is so important and why I want every military spouse to go and watch this training. And I want to do that by centering our conversation today around this question. Dear Christine, I gave up my career for my active-duty spouse.

[00:05:38] Am I going to lose my identity? Two, this is such an important question for all of us as military spouses because it really gets to the core question of identity, and I think this concept of identity has been thrown around a lot, and it’s something that we really need to understand because so many of us struggle with this.

[00:06:07] We’re not really sure what we mean when we say identity, and we don’t know what it is, why it matters, and what we can do to help ourselves not get stuck here. So what in the world is identity? If you go to the dictionary, it’s going to tell you something along the lines of a sense of. Which is not really that descriptive.

[00:06:38] A better definition would be the qualities, beliefs, et cetera, that distinguish or identify a person or thing. So what are the things, the qualities, the beliefs, who you are? In other words, identity is really who you are at your core, outside of what you do or who you are in relationship with. This is a problem because that is what we tend to think of when somebody talks about who we are.

[00:07:14] If you go to a party and somebody says, Tell me about yourself, the first thing we think about is what we do for a living or who we are in relationship with, who we are married to. If we have kids, what our kids are, and we think about our identity in terms of relationship. What we do to earn money and identity, specifically in Western culture.

[00:07:41] It gets wrapped up in what we do for a living and as a military spouse, if you have to move, if you are constantly starting over, if you are not building a career or you aren’t able to find a job or you choose to stay home with your kiddos, Whatever we tie our identity into. When that gets taken away, it creates an identity crisis for us.

[00:08:11] If your identity is wrapped up in your kids and your kids move into a new season of life, whether that’s starting school for the first time, Or maybe leaving home, then that creates a crisis of identity because your relationship to them and you are finding your fulfillment in that person or thing has changed.

[00:08:35] So, so much of our culture really ties our identity into things outside. But all of those things outside of us are actually outside of our control. The only thing that we can really control is ourselves, who we C are at our core. And so what I see happen so often is military spouses struggle with identity because we’re not able to do these norms where we follow a career path or we find our core group of other moms to do life with.

[00:09:12] And stay in that community for an extended period of time. And as we move around and we’re constantly trying to establish ourselves in a new location, to find a new job, or find ways to take care of our family, and we start to put our own dreams, our passions, and our goals. On the back burner and we are focusing on the needs of everyone around us.

[00:09:40] And we keep telling ourselves, Well, in a future season I’ll be able to take care of myself. I’ll be able to focus on myself. I’ll really get in touch with what lights me up. But the longer that we put ourselves on the back burner, the more that we live as a shadow of ourselves and the more that we lose touch with who we really.

[00:10:03] And instead of stepping into our potential, instead of living as the person that we were created to be, we live as a shadow of ourselves. When I first started looking into, Hey, I have a passion for helping military spouses. What does that look like? And what problem do I want to help solve? And the first thing that came to my mind was, Look, we have.

[00:10:32] This situation where 90% of military spouses are either unemployed or underemployed, and what can I do about that problem? Now, there’s a lot of factors that contribute to that, but the more that I dug in and I was like, Okay. Can we focus on entrepreneurship and really make that a solution to this problem?

[00:10:55] But the more that I dug into that, the more I realize there’s a deeper problem here. It’s not just that we’re having trouble getting started with this career or getting started with an entrepreneurial venture. It’s that we don’t know what we have to offer because we’ve lost touch with ourselves. And so this is what I really want us to understand because identity is such a big issue for military spouses.

[00:11:27] When you peel back all these layers, this underlying loss of sense of self, who I. Outside of being a military spouse, who am I outside of being a parent of my kids? Who am I at my core? So what can we do? Going back to that question at the beginning of the episode, Hey, I’ve. Sacrificed, I’ve given up my career to follow my spouse around, do I have to lose my identity?

[00:12:00] Do I have to, Yon you have some work to. And really this is work I think every single human being should do because so many people end up in this place where their whole sense of self is tied into what they do and when that gets taken away, Whether that’s, you know, because you leave a job or you choose to make a big life change, or because you have built your entire career and then you retire and then people get to this place where they’re like, What’s next?

[00:12:51] Who am I anymore now that I don’t have this thing that I’ve wrapped up my whole sense of self? So all of us would benefit from taking time to understand who we are at our core, to get clarity about what it is that really lights us up, what brings us joy, who we want to be, how we want to show up in the world, and the causes that we really care about, and what our skills are, and how we can use the skills that we have.

[00:13:26] To make a difference in the lives of others, whether we are doing that in a paid capacity or whether we are doing that with our volunteer time, or whether we are just doing it as a stay-at-home parent in our current season, whatever season of life we find ourself in. We need to start to unpack what our core values are, what matters most to us, and live into that because the more that we align what we do and how we spend our time and the way that we spend our days with the things that really speak to us, the more that we align our schedule with who we want to be and how we want to show up, the more fulfillment.

[00:14:12] We will feel the more that we will actually begin to create the life that we want, a life that really lights up, that makes us happy, that brings us a sense of meaning and purpose. Because at the end of the day, it’s not just about how we spend our time, it’s about our purpose. It’s about stepping into and living life with purpose, and there are absolutely steps we can take to get clarity on who we are on these pieces that form the core of our identity of who we.

[00:14:57] So this matters whether the, whether you have more time than you know what to do with, or you can barely find a few moments for yourself each day. Because in every season that we find ourself in the way that we show up and live out of our purpose will look different. But the core pillars of who we are and what we.

[00:15:23] Those are true to us in this season and in the next season, and in your current season of not feeling like you are pursuing something that really matters. This is the opportunity today. Right now, you can begin to get that clarity that you need so that. You get into that next season, you have the time to take action because you already know what you are taking action towards.

[00:15:55] You already have a direction that you are moving towards. You may not have a lot of time now, but you have the opportunity to begin to get clear on what your purpose is and the ways that you can live out of your purpose. So what do we do to get started? How do you begin to reconnect with your sense of self to figure out who you are at your core and figure out how you craft a life with purpose?

[00:16:27] Well, that’s why I’m so excited that this free identity. Identity that is a, uh, word that is fun to say. This free identity training, which will really get into the practical tactical steps. We can take exercises that you can do today. Even if you only have five-minute windows of time, the things that you can do today to start getting that clarity, to start saying, Okay, how do I get in touch with myself?

[00:17:03] How do I figure out who I really am at my core? How do I figure out what really matters to me? How do I figure out. What steps I need to take, what direction I need to go in that’s really going to help me to show up as the very best version of myself. I’m so excited that this identity training is now available for you and you can get your hands on it just by going.

[00:17:33] No spouse mastermind.com/workshop or I will have a link from the homepage of the website or just click on the show notes below. That will take you directly there. Um, just put in your email address. It will bring you to that training. Watch those trainings. Start doing those exercise. Because the number one thing I can tell you is if you don’t do the work, if you don’t get the clarity, if you don’t take the time to start figuring out who you are, you will stay stuck and you will begin to lose more of yourself.

[00:18:12] You will. End up existing and feeling like you are just along for the ride in someone else’s story. And I want you to step into your story and to live a life with purpose and begin crafting a life with purpose today. Even if you feel like you’ve given up your dreams. You feel like you’ve given up your career, you’ve given up that sense of community that you loved.

[00:18:42] You’re not loving your life right now. There is an action that you can take, and it doesn’t depend on where you live. It doesn’t depend on what jobs are available. It just depends on your willingness to step into your story to say, I want to begin to reclaim my life and dreams. I want to figure out who I am and how I can begin to live into that story to use my skills and my gifts and my experiences to bless others and to.

[00:19:18] Purpose to craft a life with meaning, to find the happiness, the satisfaction, the contentment, right where you are today. So let me just encourage you just to carve out a few minutes, Go watch the training. Go figure out which exercise you want to start with, then go share that training with a friend who is also struggling with their sense of self, with their identity, with their self worth, with understanding who they are.

[00:19:51] With understanding what they have to offer with understanding why they’re feeling stuck or why they’re struggling with life as a military spouse. And then once they watch it go, have a dialogue about this conversation, maybe you can work on these exercises together, both complete them and then talk about what you are learning about yourself in the process.

[00:20:18] And I truly believe that the more that we can. These resources, the more that we can take action and really begin to reclaim our life and dreams right where we are today, the more that we can make a difference in the lives of military spouses, you can have a huge impact on the life of another military spouse just by sharing these resources that are helping you and just by.

[00:20:46] Sharing even on your social media feeds, Hey, I found something that is really helping me as a military spouse. Somebody is going to see that and they may be struggling, and we just pass that information on and really make this an opportunity, a, a way for more military spouses to get uns. And to begin to craft lives of purpose today.

[00:21:12] So that is what I have for you today. I just want to let you know that that is available, that it is possible to not lose your sense of self. And if you’ve already lost that sense of who you are, you are not alone, so many of us struggle with this, and I want to see us break free and begin to step into our stories today.

[00:21:34] So if you have any questions about this, please just reach out to me, send me a message. Um, leave us a review on the podcast. That is how we get found. Uh, again, that training is available just by going to milspouse mastermind.com. Forward slash workshop that is absolutely free for you, and I hope you have an amazing week and until next time that you live filled, fueled and full of joy.