Christine: 13 moves in 13 years. Now I know a lot of us as military spouses have moved, but I’m betting that most of us have not moved 13 times in the last 13 years, but that’s exactly what has happened for Mallory known as the DITY mama from Mama’s on the move on Instagram. And she hasn’t just moved 13 times in the last 13 years.

[00:00:28] They’ve actually done a DITY move every move. So today on the show, we’re going to talk about what it’s like to move that many times, what she’s learned in the process, how she’s turned her circumstances into a platform to help others and find her purpose in the process. And she’ll share specific tips if you are considering a DITY move of your own.

[00:00:53] If you’re not familiar, stands for do it yourself move, or what’s now known as a PPM or personally procured move. This is where you handle the entire move yourself. And then the government reimburses you for your expenses.

Before I share my conversation with Mallory. I just want to remind you if you are not already a part of our Facebook group. This is the best way to find community as a military spouse. And if you are planning for a PCS this summer, you know that you’re going to be moving.

[00:02:20] You’re thinking about having to start over in a new location and really start from scratch, trying to. You’re a place in your people and it can be a lonely process. The process of moving itself can feel overwhelming. You can feel drained in the process. And one of the best things you could do to have support is to find community, to be able to talk about it with other people who are on similar journeys.

[00:02:48] And that’s why the milspouse mastermind community exists to have these conversations to have. Space to talk about the challenges and what we’re going through and how we can learn and encourage one another in the process. So if you are not a part of our free community, where we have these discussions where we.

[00:03:08] I can talk more about our takeaways from the show. Then just head over to mil spouse mastermind.com forward slash community. Or you can do a search for the mil spouse mastermind community in your Facebook feed. We would love to have you come join us in there. All right. Here’s my conversation with Mallory.And so excited to be back today with Mallory, from mamas on the move. Mallory, thank you so much for joining us. Will you tell us a little bit about yourself and where you’re coming to us from?

[00:03:42] Mallory: Absolutely. Thank you for having me first off. Uh, my name is Mallory. I am a army active duty army spouse for almost 14 years born and raised in Texas.

[00:03:52] Um, I met my, actually my husband. We met in high school, so we’re high school sweethearts. And so we’ve been married for 14 years. Almost. We have three kids. They are eight. Five and, oh my goodness. Eight, six, and four. You like that? Okay. So all my kids’ birthdays are the same and like almost the same month.

[00:04:12] So I get confused eight, six, and four.

[00:04:14] Christine: Well, that’s totally normal because my kids, my kids are 22 months apart and I’m right between their birthdays. Like when they’re all evenly spaced, I got it. And when somebody has a birthday, but the next person hasn’t yet, then I get confused.

[00:04:28] Mallory: Yes. I had to think back for a second and they all just, you know, change birthdays.

[00:04:32] Um, so we have three young children and we are currently stationed at Fort Carson, Colorado. And this is actually our second time here. And our family has moved a lot. Probably. You probably got that from mama’s on the move. Um, but we have PCs 11 times in 13 years, but we’ve lived in 13 homes. So two of those were local.

[00:04:55] Christine: Sp tjat is a heck of a lot of moves, which is what we’re going to be talking about today. Um, but I have to ask where in Texas are you

[00:05:02] Mallory: from? From the Dallas Fort worth area? Me to. Oh, we haven’t talked about that. I didn’t know that it’s a very small world. How have we not made that connection yet?

[00:05:14] Christine: Right.

[00:05:14] Okay. So I would love it. If you would share a little bit about your background story, you said you and her husband were high school sweethearts. When did he join? And how much did you know about the military before you

[00:05:27] Mallory: got married? So we met in high school. We were both. 17 years old at that time, I knew nothing about the military.

[00:05:35] My dad is actually, my grandfather was in the military for 20 years. My dad was a military. But my grandfather passed away, um, when I was young and it just, wasn’t something, we talked about a lot. So honestly, I, I really didn’t know much about the military life. Um, my husband, when he was about to graduate high school, he decided he was going to attend west point.

[00:05:58] And so as his girlfriend, I was like, okay, that’s cool. You know, I really didn’t think anything of it. And as I started to look into it, I was like, wait a minute. What. You’re going into the military. So that was a huge learning curve for me. It was like, wow, do I, do I want to do this? It honestly scared me a lot.

[00:06:14] I was like, I don’t know if I’m cut out for this. I’ve lived in the same town, same people, my whole life. And of course, I’m thinking ahead, I’m thinking if we get married, but even just being long distance for, you know, four years in college was a lot. So that was. That was when I was really first introduced to the military life and we got married probably a week after he graduated.

[00:06:33] We both graduated college. We got married. I stayed in Texas for college and yeah, just jumped right in. Honestly, I feel like, um, him going to the military academy did prepare me a little bit, you know, the long distance and, and things like that. But honestly, I don’t think anything, anything could have prepared me for what was to come.

[00:06:52] Um, so I just kind of learned as I went. So

[00:06:57] Christine: 13 moves in 14 years. I mean, that is way above average for most military families. Yes. At what point did you realize? Not everybody’s moving every

[00:07:08] Mallory: year. Oh, wow. I think I learned pretty quickly actually within. Our first two, a few years of marriage, we had already done almost three and then it just honestly just kept going.

[00:07:21] And I really didn’t think much of it. I was just like, oh, this is what, this is what you do in the military. And as we started doing more and you know, the years went by, I was like, wow, a lot of people don’t don’t do this. You know, I feel like in the beginning, a lot of you move. But there’s a point where do you kind of stop?

[00:07:39] And I felt like we just kinda kept going.

[00:07:41] Christine: So did you do, DITY moves from the very beginning.

[00:07:45] Mallory: Yes. And that was my husband’s idea. I had, I had no idea. I knew nothing about, again, military life, nothing about moving. He was like, we’re married. Our first duty station was in New Jersey and he was like, we’re moving to New Jersey.

[00:07:58] I was like, okay, great. He shows up with this U haul. It did not even fit our mattress. So we clearly did not know what we were doing at all. And we just moved to New Jersey and honestly, I thought that’s just how you did it. I didn’t realize there was another option to be honest with you. And then once we did a few, it just, it honestly just became a habit.

[00:08:19] It just, I, we got used to it. We knew what we were doing and we just, we just kept going. There was only one time. I thought, you know what, I’m going to let the military move us. And it didn’t work out. They were like, we can’t move you. And so they kept my street.

[00:08:31] Christine: So, so there has been moments where you were like, okay, I would love for somebody else to take care of.

[00:08:37] Mallory: Yes. And I believe that one was, I had just had my second baby. I had a two year old. Um, and I think he wasn’t a newborn, maybe like three months old, four months old. And we had like four weeks, my husband got. From a training or TDY. And he was like, we are moving in four weeks. And I was like, wait, what? I have a new baby.

[00:08:59] So that was the first, my first experience moving with a new baby. So I didn’t know if I could do it. And then I was like, okay, I can do this. So I was able to do it with our second, our third child as well. He was a new baby. When we, when we did it

[00:09:12] Christine: props to you because I have moved. With all three children and all three times, I’m like, I will never move pregnant and then it happens.

[00:09:21] And I did not even do the movies.

[00:09:23] Mallory: Right. They don’t let you choose though. Yeah, I think I’ve been pregnant three times.

[00:09:28] Christine: So talk about what you learned from those early moves. You, you did the first one what’d you learn from that first one? And then you just did it again. And what were those first few muse?

[00:09:41] You don’t have kids at this time. So probably a lot less stuff.

[00:09:46] Mallory: Yes. And I think that was such a benefit too. I am so impressed with, when someone messaged me saying I’m going to do my first duty and I have, you know, five children. I’m like, wow, that’s amazing. Because I honestly, I got into this rhythm and I, and I got better and better each time, but I got to start out with, you know, Very few things, no kids, you know, I got to really, you know, learn and take my time to learn that.

[00:10:08] Um, but honestly, I feel like I learned something new with every move. I don’t wouldn’t even know how to answer that because I feel like, you know, moving the first time, there’s a huge learning curve and you adjust to that. And then like we talked about moving pregnant. There’s a big adjustment that comes with that.

[00:10:22] And then you have toddlers and you have a new baby. So I think each time. I don’t know, you just, you just adjust in you, you, you learn how to navigate the next one. And so I feel like I’m continuously adjusting and learning how to do it better. Um, just because of life circumstances and the season of life that we’re in.

[00:10:40] And I actually think that’s, I think that’s really cool though, because I feel like that’s what makes military spouses so unique is that we’re able to do that. We’re continuously growing and adjusting and figuring out how, how to do it better next.

[00:10:52] Christine: Absolutely. That’s, you know, one of those great things that every time you do something, you can pick up new pieces, new ideas.

[00:10:59] Do you feel like you’ve reached that place where you’re like, okay, I have my system and it’s working out, or is life still evolving so much that it’s just different. Every time

[00:11:08] Mallory: I feel like I have a better grasp of it now, especially again, that I’m, I feel like we’re out of that season of having kids and pregnant.

[00:11:15] And I mean, a few times my husband hasn’t been around during the process. You know, throws a curve ball into it. But for the most part, I, I do have a system and I do pretty much the same thing every time. And then, you know, adjust as we go based on, you know, again what season of life we’re in and what life looks like at, during that move.

[00:11:35] Cause each one has. Completely different.

[00:11:38] Christine: Well, we’re going to get into more about the details of doing a DITY move, but before we get to that part, I would love for you to talk a little bit about, you’re not just someone that has moved 13 times, right? You are someone who regularly shares this information and it has been a great resource to so many.

[00:12:00] Military spouses and probably two people who are not even related to the military about how to move yourself. So talk a little bit about your journey to how you began sharing this and providing this resource to other people.

[00:12:14] Mallory: Yes. So it, I always say it wasn’t really an intentional thing. I never planned to go on Instagram and start this Instagram account.

[00:12:24] Do podcasts. And I can’t believe I’m doing podcasts. You know, I, I, that wasn’t the plan initially. It was just to help friends out. Honestly, I remember with my third kiddo, I had just had him. I had two toddlers. The new baby and I was trying to pack us cause we were moving from Fort Lewis to Alabama and I had several friends who would just call and ask, like, how, how do you do this?

[00:12:48] How do you do that? Asking questions about how I, how did he move? And at the time I was trying to move myself and of course I love helping my friends, but it was like the same questions over and over again. So I was like, well, it’d be so great. If I just have this one place they could go to, I could just give them some tips, give them my advice and.

[00:13:05] They would know what to do. And they can ask me specifics because I was, you know, just trying to do my own. And so that’s, that’s how it started. So I did that and it just started growing and I was like, you know, what, how cool is this? Because I feel like at that time, I feel like it’s more common now, but at that time there really wasn’t anything that was specifically moving.

[00:13:24] Like, I feel like I’m very, pretty much my Instagram, my, my blog is military moving and just moving in general. And I went from there thinking, okay, well, it’d be really cool to show people. How a family does it, you know, so how the good, the hard and, and how we cope and how we, um, help our kids. And I, you know, I have a few resources, like my ditty binder.

[00:13:46] I actually have been using that for years before I even put that in. That’s just something I made myself. So I was like, well, that’s something I can share. So honestly it just kind of evolved in the more that people are interested. The more, I was like, okay, this, this is something that’s needed. And I’m just honored that I get to the opportunity to help and to provide this for other military spouses, because there was a learning curve for me.

[00:14:09] I feel like, especially from the first one till now, I mean, we just, we learned a lot and did a lot of things wrong and did a lot of things. Right. And I was just able to say, okay, this is what we did. And these are my experiences. Yeah. Hopefully I can help you from making those mistakes and healthily can go smooth for you because there have been many where has not been exposed for me.

[00:14:29] That’s how it started.

[00:14:31] Christine: What I love about your story is that one thing. You became an expert on not because you necessarily went into, but just because that’s what life handed you and you didn’t just shut down and say like, this is awful. You started using what you had to serve others and to bless others and to help others.

[00:14:53] And this has really grown into this thing. That is your purpose. And when you talk about how to find purpose as a military spouse in your season and using what you have, and. And a great example of what this looks like in real life. So talk a little bit about how you started sharing online and realizing this is helping more people.

[00:15:16] And so how did you grow that and what did you learn through that process?

[00:15:21] Mallory: I honestly wish I could tell you, I had this whole, this whole process of how I’m going to grow, but I really. I really, I really did, did it. And I honestly still don’t. And I think because, and I think I just made it more relatable. I honestly think that’s what helps the growth and the more I would share, um, packing tips.

[00:15:41] But then I would open up and share about my family and obviously boundaries, but just share like how my kids are coping and how I cope and, and marital stress that comes with that. I just think more people just starting, starting to respond to that. And I was like, wow, this is just, this is a huge need. Um, and if you go back to my, my background background, so I’m a stay at home mom, but before I was a stay at home mom, I was a marriage and family therapist.

[00:16:07] And so that. That’s where I found a lot of purpose and a lot of fulfillment in doing that. And so that’s how that kind of transferred over to this account is more so how am I, how can I help families? Like you said, how can I bless others and still do something that I love to do that make it just relatable to my season of life and just military life in general?

[00:16:27] Um, so I really don’t have a game plan and honestly, it’s really hard to docu. During a move. Like I’m actually impressed with that. I was able to do it three times because moving myself and my kids and transitioning us and navigating all of those hard emotions with my kids and myself and my spouse, plus trying to create content is really hard.

[00:16:49] It, it was harder than I thought it would be. Yes, it’s a lot. We’re hopefully going to have more of a strategy moving forward because we are not moving this year, which is a whole new. Conversation cause that’s hard in itself, but especially

[00:17:00] Christine: when you’re used to moving all the time and you’re not moving and that’s a whole nother thing to walk through or your kids used to moving all the time or do they struggle with the move?

[00:17:11] How do they handle it? Well, I

[00:17:13] Mallory: think, I think it’s, it’s just. On the moment. It depends on their ages. So I’m know, I’m obviously noticing as they’re getting older, the harder it’s getting. I feel like when they’re younger, physically, for me, it’s harder just trying to do all of that and, and, and help them navigate through that.

[00:17:28] And, but now that they’re getting older, it’s just, it’s harder emotionally for everybody, but they are used to it. Um, and I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing. A lot of people ask me that and I’m like, and I do see signs, obviously that my. Kids are struggling and we talk about it. And I think my background also helps me in, in recognizing that and helping them cope through that and navigate through all of those emotions.

[00:17:50] They honestly like it, this they’re actually having a hard time too, with not moving this year. They’ve asked me several times, when are we going to the hotel? Where are we going? Where are we moving next? What color is our new house going to be? I’m like, guys, we’re not moving this year. It’s so great. We get to stay here and continue to build relationships with our friends and our neighbors.

[00:18:08] And they’re like, that’s great, but where are we moving? So they’re a little confused too, because my daughter has moved she’s eight and has lived in eight homes in 17. I’m pretty sure. Yeah. So it’s very, it’s just

[00:18:21] Christine: normal. Yes. I totally understand that. My, my oldest is six and she is in her fifth home. So she is just now getting to that stage where she’s starting to like, realize that you’re leaving behind friendships and we’re trying to help her navigate that season.

[00:18:40] I think

[00:18:40] Mallory: a new one is watching. What’s going to be for us this year is watching people leave and saying goodbye instead of being the ones who are leading how to be the ones to stay. So that’s going to be, I’m sure a lot of our conversations this year with the kids is how to stay well and, you know, Say goodbye.

[00:18:56] Well, one

[00:18:56] Christine: of the things we talk a lot about in finding purposes is finding that sweet spot where all of your experiences and your strengths and your background all meshes, right? And so really taking that element of your marriage and family therapy background and marrying that with the fact that you are moving all the time and like coming up with this very unique.

[00:19:20] Set of experiences that you have in a way that you get to serve others. I think that’s just such a great example of what that looks like to be a military spouse living this life of purpose in, you know, the, the stress and just the craziness of everyday military life. So what are w well, let’s start. If somebody has never done a dity move before, just give us some tips of like, what should you consider if you should do a Diddy move, like how you get started on this process?

[00:19:56] Mallory: Well, first I’ll, I’ll just explain it. DITY move when it did he move? Is if nobody knows what that means, but that’s a do it yourself move. So that’s the option. You have two options as a military family, you can let the government move you and they’ll do the majority of the work package. You know, all of that, which sounds really nice.

[00:20:12] Right. But then you have a  DITY move and it’s a do it yourself. And that’s where you’re like, you know what, I’m going to choose to do it myself. And then you get paid. Like they would pay the other movers, if that makes sense. So they basically pay you to move yourself. And so whenever anyone’s considering doing a Disney move, first of all, it’s.

[00:20:31] I asked them to consider if it’s even right for them. Because again, it sounds, well, I probably made it sound worse than letting other people do you, there’s a lot of benefits to a dirty move. And one of them is people think, oh, I’m going to make a lot of money because they’re going to pay me. And if you can stay under that amount that they give you, you get to profit off of it.

[00:20:49] And sometimes. You know, it didn’t even have isn’t right for every family. So it’s, so a lot of people are really gung ho like, oh, I’m going to do this is going to be great. That’s like, whoa, let’s take a step back and just see if it’s right for your family, because it might not be in, sometimes you don’t have the choice.

[00:21:03] Sometimes it’s government, like they did to me, you know, several years ago, like, oh, sorry, we can’t move. You’re going to have to do. But it’s just decide if it’s right for you. Because again, we’ve talked about seasons of life. Is it a good season of life for you? Has your spouse in agreement are y’all on the same page because that just makes it even harder when you’re not in somebody and you feel forced into doing something you don’t want to do.

[00:21:22] Um, but the biggest one is, is will you be reimbursed correctly? Like the amount that you receive for your move, will you be able to pay yourself back from moving expenses? So that’s the big one is budgeting and making sure you’re able to move your belongings. Um, without paying out of pocket, if that makes sense.

[00:21:41] So that’s a big one. I ask people to consider before they did he move? Like, is it right for your family? Reimbursement reimbursed correctly. So

[00:21:49] Christine: how would someone begin to figure out how they would Bejan if they’re going to make enough to make it worth it. So

[00:21:56] Mallory: you’re, you’re paid based off of your weight.

[00:21:59] So the weight of your household goods. So basically everything you own, there’s a weight you weigh that is based off of that and the shipping rates of your location. So every move is different. Every place is different. Every family is different. You can’t just be like, oh, I’m definitely going to make it back.

[00:22:14] Um, you just don’t know. So you have to. Obviously you have, the service member has to, um, I believe it’s called DPS has to go on there and have an intent to, did he say, okay, I want to, did he move you fill out the paperwork, which will have an estimated weight where you’re going all of that information and they will come back.

[00:22:32] With a number like a lump sum. Like this is what we will pay you to move yourself. And then your job is to take that amount and start to do some research. So how much is my moving truck going to cost and how do I need packing supplies? And am I going to hire movers to do the heavy lifting? And you take all that into consideration and you budget that and say, okay, with all the moving parts.

[00:22:53] W is it underneath this, this amount that they’re going to give me,

[00:22:56] Christine: have you ever been at a point where you’re like, I don’t know if this is worth it, or is this such a lifestyle at this point where you can’t foresee, you ever

[00:23:05] Mallory: it’s such a lifestyle? It is. I cannot see it unless obviously if we move overseas, that’s a different story, but I can’t, I feel like there’s so many benefits to it.

[00:23:16] Um, the big one, the one that we originally. Set out for was okay. We could possibly make a little money off of this, you know, doing it legally. I wanna want to throw that out there because it is important that you follow the rules when you’re trying to quote unquote, make money. Right. Um, it’s just like an added bonus, a benefit and added bonus.

[00:23:35] If you’re able to. A lot of people say, oh, that’s the only reason why I’m going to Diddy. And then they see that they don’t have a lot of profit and they’re like less not worth it, but there’s so much more, I feel like to a Diddy move that makes it worth it. And one is you have control over your move. So you’re not waiting.

[00:23:52] Especially if you have a door to door, you can just move right in with all of your things. Um, you can, you know, the people that you hire, they actually. You know, they are, they are banking on your good reviews and they want to do a good job. So, you know, there, you’re getting to choose who who’s moving. You choose what companies you’re using.

[00:24:10] You get to do all of the research and kind of interview and, and decide, okay, this is, this is who I want to go with. And with the government, you’re not really able to do that. You’re just kind of like, okay, this is, this is who it is. And you could have a good or bad experience. Also shorter transition times.

[00:24:25] I feel like that is huge for my family. So the fact that we’re not in this awkward transition time of waiting on our things, living in an empty house, living in hotels, waiting for stuff like having to borrow stuff, we literally get to move in and start setting up. And I feel like that helps our kids out, especially like we can get stuff in their rooms, we can get familiar things out and it’s like, we can start to settle.

[00:24:47] We’re not. That waiting period, which I feel like is so hard. We have been in that waiting period just because of other circumstances, like our 20, 20 move during, during the pandemic was an experience. And we had to live in an apartment for like two months. And that was hard. I can’t imagine doing that every single time.

[00:25:04] Not having your things, especially if that’s an option. If I have the option to have my things right away, I would like to have them right away. Um, you’re also really organized. I feel like I touch everything I own. I know everything I own. I’m not moving with all this. These things that I don’t need. So I just, I feel like there’s so many benefits to it.

[00:25:21] And then of course you can make money if you, if you budget and do it

[00:25:25] Christine: correctly, like it helps you keep tabs on how much stuff you have and be more minimalist with your lifestyle.

[00:25:33] Mallory: Yes. And I feel like it helps so much for me personally, um, because I want, you know, I want everything to fit in a moving truck.

[00:25:41] So it really is. And I think it’s a, it’s a good thing. It’s it’s not a bad thing of, oh, we can’t have this because we’re moving. It’s more of, okay, do I need this? Does this make sense for our family? It really makes me think about what we need and, you know, can this be, can if we get this, what can be replaced?

[00:25:57] Like what can we get rid? That’s replacing that. So it makes me really intentional with what we own. And I think that’s a good thing. Absolutely.

[00:26:04] Christine: When you talked to a couple of weeks ago about how to declutter your home and just this idea of keeping what you love and, you know, Marie Kondo’s idea of does this spark joy, and are we just holding onto it?

[00:26:18] So, um, I love that. So let’s talk a little bit about, let’s say somebody has decided, okay, I’m going to try this. Did he move, where do you even start to. Put all these pieces together to figure out what you need to do and how to read.

[00:26:33] Mallory: Well, I have several resources that I hope are helpful when it comes to that, but kind of like a checklist a to do list.

[00:26:40] Um, though that really helps me. So you just start, I don’t know, researching different areas. So you get your moving. I feel like a lot of it in a way, a similar to a non-dairy move, just like government move. Like you’re still making those phone calls and, you know, just kind of planning dates and things like that.

[00:26:56] So it’s just getting on the computer and researching your area and finding, moving trucks and movers. If you want that and starting to gather some. Um, we’re really helps me as I feel like it did he move, especially, it’s very overwhelming for people because they think, okay, I’m doing a he move, oh my goodness.

[00:27:11] I have to pack my entire house. And it’s just, it’s a very overwhelming feeling when, when you’ve never done it before, and then maybe you’re not as organized and you’re still traveling around with all these boxes that, you know, you’ve just, you’ve never gone through. So a lot of it is starting early.

[00:27:27] Purging and organizing. And, and also I love to, I also have a resource, uh, packing, um, weekly packing goals, but also just breaking those down into smaller goals. So they’re more attainable, so it’s not, wow. I need to pack my entire kitchen. It’s like, wow, no, we’re going to pack our mugs today. So, you know, just breaking it down and making it.

[00:27:46] More doable, you know, for yourself. So I say that sort of start it’s just, okay.

[00:27:52] Christine: So let us know where we can go to get the checklist.

[00:27:56] Mallory: Okay. So I have, along with my Instagram, And my Instagram is more about my family, my life, that type of stuff. My blog is www.DITYmama.com. And so there, that’s where you’ll find just actual information.

[00:28:11] So you’ll find the resources, you’ll find how to pack series and go walk you through how to pack things in your home. And, and we’ll kind of lay out the steps of, okay, what do I do first? And then what do I do? And then what do I do? So I just, I hope that that is helpful for other military families, but that’s where.

[00:28:28] Christine: So, yes, we, we will link that in the show notes below. So definitely go check that out. If you are considering a DITY move before we wrap things up today, I would love for you to share just a little bit about given your background and, and all of the moving that you have done. What has been the most challenging part of that?

[00:28:50] And what are some of the things that you’ve learned on your journey?

[00:28:54] Mallory: Most challenging thing about moving. There’s a lot. There’s a lot. I feel like I could talk about the most challenging thing about moving is honestly, I mean, it sounds like common sense, but it’s just starting over just packing up everything you own and landing somewhere.

[00:29:09] You’ve never been, you’ve never seen, or we we’ve never been to most of them usually. Um, especially if you have kids, just the, just navigating how to start over as a family and, and making friends and saying goodbye. That’s it. That’s a huge one for me. Is having to say goodbye. That’s been very challenging because I feel like each place we’ve gone, I’ve just, thankfully just had a great community.

[00:29:32] And it’s sometimes it’s really hard to think, wow, I have to leave this and have to start that all over again. It can be very emotionally draining and physically draining obviously. Cause you’re moving yourself. But I feel like emotionally and mentally, it’s, it’s very draining on a person in the family.

[00:29:47] Christine: So, what are some of the things you’ve done that have helped you through those moving and feeling that loss and, and feeling, you know, that mental and emotional pain through the move. What have, what have you done to help you with that?

[00:30:03] Mallory: A lot of it is, well, we kind of talked about it and you’ve talked, you talk about it is, is finding your purpose.

[00:30:09] In that that’s huge for me personally. And so that’s why I love that you really focus on that too for, um, your podcast and, and finding purpose where you’re at, but it’s just acknowledging for me. Wow, that that was, this is my life. And they were in my life for a season. And now I have the opportunity to take my experiences and what I’ve learned and what I’ve gone through and go to the next place and, and find that there.

[00:30:35] So it’s, it’s just finding, finding a purpose. Like, what am I, why am I here? What am I going to do while I’m. You know, I feel like I’m not here randomly. I’m not here just to exist. It’s what is my purpose? What, how can I make this meaningful? How can I help my kids through it? And so honestly, just looking at it as an opportunity to grow and to learn and just to get, have new experiences.

[00:30:55] So I think a lot of it’s just a perspective thing and I know that’s really hard. That’s not really like a tangible thing. I can say, this is what I do, but it is, it is just. Keeping that perspective and shifting that perspective of, wow, this is really hard and I hate it and I’m grieving and it’s terrible, which is okay.

[00:31:11] I definitely go through those emotions and those feelings and that should not be minimized, but it’s okay. How, what, what am I going to do with that? How am I going to, um, help my kids through this and how am I going to make the most of where I’m at? And I think a lot of it’s from my kids too. I’m like, wow, mom can definitely, I can’t fall apart completely.

[00:31:31] So it’s like they can adopt your negativity or your positivity. They can adopt your attitude. And so a lot of it is for my kids too, when I’m really not feeling like it when I’m really upset or just really not having it. It’s like, wow. How I want to do this for my kids. I want to show them how to, I want to show them how it can be done and we can do it.

[00:31:48] Well, we are resilient. Absolutely.

[00:31:51] Christine: There’s so much value in what you just said. And really so much of it comes down to our mindset and the perspective that we have on these challenging experience. We can’t control what happens to us, but we can control what we do with that. And just this idea that, you know, we can look at this as a new opportunity to take the experiences, the friendships, what we’ve learned through that last place, and really look for it and to be that friend to someone else, to take those opportunities, to learn and to role model this for our kids who.

[00:32:28] You know, feeling those same feelings of frustration or sadness and leaving what they know. What’s familiar stepping out into the unknown, trying to build new relationships and really it comes down to the choice of how you will handle that situations.

[00:32:49] Mallory: And it’s very intention. It’s very intentional. I feel like gotta be very intentional with doing it too.

[00:32:54] So it’s true. Yeah. You’re right. Totally rights choice. I love that.

[00:32:57] Christine: So is there anything you would like to leave out a word of encouragement to military spouses who are navigating this crazy lifestyle who are maybe preparing for a PCs for the first time, or just going through these tough seasons? What would you like to say that.

[00:33:17] Mallory: Wow. I would say that these hard seasons don’t, they don’t last forever. And I know that’s probably something that they’ve heard before. I’ve heard it before. I’m sure you’ve heard it before. Um, and sometimes it’s hard to believe. You’re like, no, I’m stuck in this forever. This is how it will be, but it does get better.

[00:33:32] And you do adjust, especially if you like what we talked about. It’s choosing. Okay. I can either stay this way. I can say stuck at, in this hard season, but how can I find joy throughout it? How can I, um, make the most of it? How can I learn? How can I grow? And again, that’s way easier, way easier said than done, but I know that something that’s helped me through that too, is, is a big one is not comparing yourself.

[00:33:56] To other people’s experiences. I feel like a lot of times I can get stuck in the, well, why have we had to do it 11 times? And they’ve only done it two times. That’s not fair at all. Like, this is hard. Like, why are we going? Why is our family experiencing this? And it’s just completely being again, being intentional of, okay.

[00:34:13] I’m not comparing my experience to somebody else’s because that’s when the bitterness and the resentment and the frustration can just harden your heart. This life and your spouse and just everything new experiences. So it’s definitely not comparing and just embracing where you’re at and finding that purpose in that joy through even the hard three Studi station there it’s there, it’s there.

[00:34:37] If you, if you see.

[00:34:39] Christine: Absolutely. Thank you so much for sharing that because comparison is absolutely the thief, the killer of joy. And so we are all on our own journeys and, um, I just appreciate you sharing your journey with us today. If you are interested in a Diddy move, go to Devi lama.com. We will have.

[00:34:59] All of the resources and then checklists, uh, available for you there. I will have all of those links in the show notes. Thank you so much for taking time to be with us today. Thank you for having me. So friends, we’re wrapping up this spring series on preparing for eight PCs. Maybe you’re moving this summer, maybe you’re not, but here’s the thing that I want you to take away from all of these episodes.

[00:35:24] Two weeks ago, we talked about decluttering your home, which is something that I feel like. It’s a great thing to do, whether you’re planning for a move this summer or not last week, we talked about some PCS prep tips. And today we talked about moving yourself and what it looks like to do 13 moves in 13 years and the best and most important piece of advice that I want you to take away from this series is that moving isn’t easy and.

[00:35:58] It’s okay to go through these challenges, to feel these emotions, to work through it, to just accept that it’s not an easy process and that you’re going to have days where you struggle, but the most important thing is that you keep moving forward. To let yourself process those emotions and to not get so caught up in the checklist.

[00:36:27] And that do we mean that you don’t take care of yourself and your emotions and your feelings, because this is a, an opportunity for each. If we embrace it as such, we can view it as something that we just have to get through, or we can view it as an opportunity to learn from and grow through. And it’s never about trying to just ignore what we’re feeling or pretend that it doesn’t affect us, or just to try to be super positive in Tampa.

[00:37:02] All of the negative and conflicting emotions that we feel it’s a process of working through and choosing to act in accordance with our values rather than acting on our feelings. And there’s a lot more that I could say and unpack with. But my hope is that this series has empowered you to embrace the challenges of moving, to focus on the possibilities and to find beauty in the midst of chaos.