[00:00:00] Christine: Hello. Hello friends. Welcome back to the MilSpouse Mastermind Show. I’m so excited if you are new to our community and just joining us. I’m Christine. I am a military spouse. Been together with my husband almost 15 years, and I love creating this community for all of us as military spouses to really come.

[00:00:22] And talk about what it looks like to thrive, how we can actually take where we are right now and design a life we love, and ultimately use that to build purpose fueled businesses that allow us to make income and impact. Now today, I am so excited to bring you. Ceasarae Galvin, and one of the things I love about the military spouse community is so often we take these situations and it can be easy to get stuck in this.

[00:00:56] Why did this happen to me? Why does my life. Look like this. But I find time and time again as I meet all of these amazing military spouses who have been able to take a situation that you know is not necessarily what we wanted or what we hoped for, and to use it not only to try to do the best thing for ourselves, but also for others.

[00:01:23] Ceasarae’s story is no exception to this. She is an Air Force spouse, a mom of four, and she’s become an advocate for disability rights. Cheray is passionate about accessibility, especially when it comes to housing for military families. And so in today’s episode, we’re gonna unpack her story, what happened to her and her family, and what she learned and did through that situation.

[00:01:57] So, I can’t wait to share her story with you, so let’s go ahead and dive into the show.

[00:02:58] All right, friends, are you unsure of what you should be focusing on this? If you are not clear on what you really want, what goals you want to focus on this year, or how in the world you would actually make progress on the things that are on your heart, then I want to make sure that you know we have be plan.

[00:03:23] Your 2023 workshop happening. Week if you are interested in making real growth happen in 2023, if you have a dream on your heart, you just wanna figure out how to start crafting a life with purpose, then please come join me on January 19th. For a live workshop where we’re gonna talk about how to identify what’s not working for you right now, what changes you actually want to make this year, and how to set up a schedule and make a plan so that you can prioritize the things that matter.

[00:04:07] To you if you want to live with more meaning, more fulfillment. If you want to craft a life that you actually love, and stop disappointing yourself. If you wanna know how. Goal setting can actually be possible for your crazy life as a military spouse. Then come join us for this workshop. It’ll be taking place on Thursday at 10:30 AM Pacific Time.

[00:04:38] 1:30 PM Eastern Time and just go to milspousemastermind.com/plan your 2023 to register for the workshop. Yes, a replay will be available and you will get a guided workbook to help you plan out this year because. I don’t want you to fall into the trap of believing that you have to wait for tomorrow for some future season to get clarity about who you are and what you want, and what big dreams are actually on your heart.

[00:05:17] This can be the year you start to reclaim your life and dreams, and I wanna help make that happen for you. Please, please, please don’t waste this year. You can in 2023, knowing that you’re stuck exactly where you are today, or you can carve out just a few minutes to begin crafting a life. With purpose, you can take back control of your life and design a life you love.

[00:05:49] So go to milspouse mastermind.com/plan your 2023 to register today. All right, we are talking with. SRE Galvin today, she is a certified fair housing specialist who helps military families access safe and accessible housing through the nonprofit Armed Forces Housing Advocates. I can’t wait to share this conversation with you.

[00:06:20] As you think about how you can use your skills and your story to make a difference, not only in the life of your family, but in the. Of others. So here’s my conversation with Cheray Galvin. Well, friends, welcome back to the show today. I have Cheray Galvin with me on the show. Welcome to the MilSpouse Mastermind Show.

[00:06:45] Ceasarae: Hi, I am super excited to be here. I

[00:06:49] Christine: am super excited for what we’re gonna dig into today. So would you just tell us a little bit about who you are and what you are passionate about?

[00:06:59] Ceasarae: Yeah, so I am a Air Force spouse. My husband has been active duty Air Force for over eight years now. We are currently living in Illinois with our four children and I.

[00:07:14] Always just looking for ways to help the military family community. My biggest passion is with housing rights and accessibility for families that have disabled family members. Okay.

[00:07:26] Christine: I need to know, where in Illinois are you stationed

[00:07:28] Ceasarae: Right now we are at Scott

[00:07:30] Christine: Air Force Base. Okay. Okay. Because I’ve, I was stationed there a couple of assignments ago, so I’m at least familiar with that area.

[00:07:38] Okay. So talk to me about how you, well, let’s go all the way. Talk about your military origin story. How did you meet your spouse? Did you know what you were getting into? Tell us all the things.

[00:07:51] Ceasarae: So my husband and I actually met in middle school. We met at a concert and ended up going to school together the following year and just kind of stayed friends for a long time.

[00:08:04] After that, he graduated high school and went off and joined the military and we kind of fell apart and then, Five years ago, we reconnected and. Got engaged three days later, and then I moved across the country and we eloped. So it wasn’t a whole lot of thought that went into the whole military piece of it.

[00:08:26] We just knew that when we reconnected, we knew it was right and got married and just kind of go with the flow. Was

[00:08:34] Christine: it a big. Adjustment for you? How did you adjust to military life?

[00:08:39] Ceasarae: It was a little bit of an adjustment, but at the same time, I have always kind of been like a spontaneous person and have always just enjoyed adventure, so it wasn’t that difficult.

[00:08:50] That

[00:08:51] Christine: definitely makes it easier when you are ready for something new for an adventure, that can definitely help. So talk to us about really how you began to get involved with housing rights. What, what was really the catalyst that got you involved in that issue?

[00:09:08] Ceasarae: So we have four kids. We are a blended family, so we each had a child before we got married.

[00:09:15] And then on our first anniversary I gave birth to our daughter who is four now, and she is disabled. She has a few different disabilities, but the biggest being that she is blind and is a wheelchair user. And one of the biggest difficulties is that when she was born, we lived in a two-story house and then we pcsd.

[00:09:37] There wasn’t a lot of accessible housing available when we moved here to Illinois. So we live on base, but even though we are in an accessible house, it didn’t quite meet our needs, and I wanted to make sure that we were in a house that was as accessible as possible to her. And I really started looking into all of the things that come into that and actually reached out to someone that I met on TikTok with a few questions.

[00:10:02] And ended up getting involved with a nonprofit called afa, armed Forces Housing Advocates, and really just went from there with helping as many other families as possible. I got my Fair Housing Specialist certification so that I can help other military families who are going through the same sort of issues.

[00:10:21] Christine: Okay, so I have lots of questions for you. Number one, talk a little bit about what it was like figuring out that your daughter needed to be wheelchair bound and, and figuring out how to best help her. So,

[00:10:34] Ceasarae: before my daughter was born, we were not aware of exactly what her needs were gonna be. We knew that she was gonna have some form of medical condition, but once she, she was born, she was diagnosed with a condition called a Cardi Syndrome, which is basically epilepsy, but the seizures cause brain damage, and so she continuously has further damage that.

[00:10:58] We really are unable to know what a prognosis is. So until she was at the point of needing to use a wheelchair, we didn’t know for sure if that was something she was ever gonna need. So it was always kind of a take it day by day situation. We didn’t have a whole lot of an opportunity to prepare in advance for what her life was gonna be like.

[00:11:18] Once we did get to that point of kind of realizing how involved her condition was and how severe her symptoms. . It was definitely a difficult transition, partially because you know, as a parent you have lots of dreams of what your life is gonna be like with your children and who they’re gonna be as they grow, and it came with a lot of, you know, having to process those emotions of the picture in my head of.

[00:11:47] of her future being not reality anymore, and then a lot of fear of what is it gonna be like now? Is she gonna be in pain? Is she gonna be happy? And things like that. But we really just kind of hit the ground running once we realized what her needs were gonna be like. We. Promised her that we were gonna do everything we could for her and we would go to the ends of the earth to make sure that she was happy and receiving the best care possible.

[00:12:15] And that’s what we’ve done.

[00:12:17] Christine: What helped you the most as you were processing through all of those emotions and the idea of what your life was gonna be like? In your head and, and then what your actual reality was gonna be and how did you, what helped you process through all of that? So I think

[00:12:34] Ceasarae: it was a combination of a couple of things.

[00:12:37] One of them being just kind of looking at my own life, because I know that I did not grow up to be the person that my parents envisioned. I, they had big dreams of having an athlete and all of these things. Despite the fact that I don’t have, you know, the types of disabilities that my daughter has, I still am not the same person they had envisioned.

[00:13:00] And I kind of realized that even with children who are not disabled, , you don’t always get what you were picturing and you still love them. And I love my older children as well, despite the fact that they’re different than I had imagined. And so I just kind of kept reminding myself that she is who she was meant to be, even if she’s not who I thought she was gonna be.

[00:13:21] And then when it came to a lot of the. The fears of the future. I looked at other families who had children with her condition and I saw how happy and well taken care of they were. And I just, you know, kept hope that even though her life is different than I thought it was gonna be, she still has all of this opportunity in her life.

[00:13:44] Christine: I mean, that’s just such a great way to be able to look at it, to say, you know, it’s not what I had envision. But it’s still good and there’s still opportunity and the ability to find joy in every situation that we faced. I love what you’ve been able to do to say, Hey, this thing was not what I expected, but I’ve been able to turn it around and not only advocate for my daughter, but.

[00:14:10] To be able to advocate for all of these other families who are trying to figure out a path

[00:14:17] Ceasarae: forward. Absolutely. I have always kind of taken the approach that if I don’t like the way something is and I wanna fix it, I don’t just wanna fix it for myself, I wanna fix it so that other people don’t have to deal with it as well.

[00:14:31] And that’s exactly what I did. With accessibility is when I realized how many issues there were in the world and in housing with accessibility. I didn’t wanna just fight to fix our problems. I wanted to fight to make the system work better for other families as

[00:14:47] Christine: well. I mean, that’s exactly what we’re talking about when we talk about crafting a life with purpose, and it’s this idea of whatever.

[00:14:58] Our story is the things that have impacted our lives. Being able to turn around and use that to help other people. That’s really where we step into finding that sense of purpose and saying this, this thing that I’m going through, this challenge that I have faced is bigger than just about me, and there is a way for me to use my story and really help others.

[00:15:23] So I am. Absolutely amazed by your resilience and how you’ve taken your story and used it to say, I’m going to be an advocate not only for our own family, and I’m not gonna get wrapped up because you have a full life. You have children with special needs, blended families. All of those things can really feel overwhelming, but you’ve taken that and you’ve been able to say, I’m gonna be an advocate for other military families.

[00:15:54] So I do wanna take a few minutes today just to kind of talk through some of the elements of finding accessible housing, because I think there’s probably a lot of people out there. Are unaware of what all of the regulations are, what is available, what all the challenges are. So I would love it if you would just kind of walk us through that.

[00:16:19] So let’s start with the definition. What is an accessible home? Are there different types of accessible houses? Give us an overview of what accessible housing entails.

[00:16:31] Ceasarae: Yeah, absolutely. So when you think about an accessible home, if you’re looking at it more, From an administrative standpoint on like the housing side, the accessible houses that like military housing offers are typically houses without any stairs and with wider doorways for people who use mobility aids.

[00:16:50] However, when you’re looking at accessible housing from the family standpoint, it really is all dependent on what their needs are. Somebody who is blind will need completely different types of accessibility than somebody using mobility. So in our case, we were needing things like a roll-in shower for a shower chair and wider hallways and bigger rooms and no carpet so that my daughter can navigate more easily.

[00:17:16] And it’s really something that when you come into housing, you let them know what your specific needs are, and then if they have to do customizations, then that can happen at that

[00:17:27] Christine: point. So how long do those customization. Typically take,

[00:17:31] Ceasarae: so in theory it should be pretty quick. The way that the law as far as like landlord tenant laws and the Fair Housing Act go, is that it needs to be within a reasonable timeframe that you make your request and then they approve the request and then they complete whatever modifications or customizations you may need.

[00:17:51] However, in practice, it can take a long time. Specifically requested some modifications to our bathroom, and it took us nearly a year before they actually completed. So

[00:18:03] Christine: were you living in the house at the time while they were doing Yes.

[00:18:07] Ceasarae: The modific modifications? It was difficult. My daughter, luckily she is still small enough that we were able to kind of lift her in and out of the bathtub while we were waiting.

[00:18:17] And then we have a second bathroom that we just kind of made due with while they were actually doing the construction.

[00:18:23] Christine: Okay. So when it comes to housing, because I. Private housing, different companies. Are there certain requirements as to the number of accessible housing available? How does that work?

[00:18:36] Ceasarae: So the military housing companies actually have to follow a very similar rule as like an apartment complex would, which is that 5% of their available housing with no less than one house per base has to be either accessible or easily Modi. and easily modifiable just means that structurally it’s accessible, but that things.

[00:19:00] Bathtubs can be swapped out and grab bars can be added later. And then when it comes to like civilian housing if you’re in an apartment complex or in like a large property management company, oftentimes they have to follow those same rules. There are some exceptions when it comes to like a family renting out.

[00:19:19] You know, just their personal home.

[00:19:22] Christine: So what happens if you move to a place and the housing office doesn’t currently have a house open?

[00:19:31] Ceasarae: So this happens a lot and there really are a couple different ways that you can approach it. So in a lot of cases, there will be accessible homes available, but not in the rank that a family is looking for.

[00:19:45] And in that case, you can request a reasonable accommodation under the Fair Housing Act for an exception to the Rank Band policy. So if you’re needing a three bedroom wheelchair accessible home, and you’re an E six and they only have it in senior enlisted housing, you can ask for an exception to that policy to be placed in a different.

[00:20:07] Or if you are needing like a three bedroom and they don’t have any three bedrooms, but they have four bedrooms, then you can request an exception to the bedroom policy and get a larger house. The only time that you can’t really seek exceptions is if they’re just. Physically isn’t an available house and in that case they can’t give you something that they don’t have.

[00:20:28] Christine: Interesting. I would guess that you probably have better luck trying to get on base housing rather than just hoping to rent something in the local community. Is that correct? .

[00:20:42] Ceasarae: It kind of depends on the location. Honestly. If you are in an area where all of the houses are historic homes that are two or three stories tall and lots of stairs, and you’re needing to use mobility aids, then it’s definitely gonna be easier to find something on base.

[00:20:59] But if you’re needing accessibility feature, Such as like a visual doorbell for somebody who’s deaf. That’s gonna be something that can be easily installed on or off base. Okay.

[00:21:10] Christine: So if you are on base, do you have to be enrolled in the E F M P program? So

[00:21:17] Ceasarae: legally, no. A lot of base housing offices will say that they need you to be enrolled in EF F M P and provide E F M P paperwork to get an accessible home.

[00:21:27] they legally cannot require it. While it is helpful because then the documentation is there in advance, that housing can see what your needs are. The Fair Housing Act requires them to accept your request for accommodations or modifications in any form, and they can’t require specific paperwork. For that.

[00:21:47] Christine: So what is the process that somebody would go through to request a modification on a home? So if

[00:21:55] Ceasarae: you are not on base yet, you can include it in your application. You can let them know that you’re gonna need. Specific features in your home, and they can hopefully get those modifications done prior to move-in if they don’t have a house that meets those needs.

[00:22:12] If you’re already living in your home, then you just have to contact them and say, you know, I have a disability and I need this modification for this reason. They can request documentation of your disability if it’s not visible. So if you’re a wheelchair user, They can’t force you to get additional documentation, but if you have like a psychiatric disability that is not visible, they can request a doctor’s note simply stating that you are disabled.

[00:22:41] Christine: I mean, I don’t know if they’ve done research on this or not, but is there any indication about what percentage of people. Really have these issues where they need modifications on homes.

[00:22:52] Ceasarae: So I’m not sure as far as statistics to the military community specifically, I know that looking at the United States as a whole, about 25% of the country has some form of disability.

[00:23:06] Christine: What did you get? The housing advocate?

[00:23:09] Ceasarae: So I am a Fair Housing Specialist, which is a certification by the National Center for Housing Management that teaches you about the Fair Housing Act and discrimination in housing. It teaches about all of the protected classes as far as like race, religion, national origin, and things like that.

[00:23:27] However, it is very heavily focused on disability since that. Kind of the most nuanced thing. It has a lot more to it, A lot more discrimination happens as far as disability and needing accessibility goes. And so I got to learn a lot about the way that the federal laws interact with state laws, which interact with.

[00:23:49] The D O D policies as far as military housing goes, and it helps inform me as a tenant how to ensure that I am being gracious with housing because I now know what their side is and what they know as far as their requirements and their liability are, and I can understand. When they’re asking certain questions, why they’re doing it and what their approach is coming from, and

[00:24:15] Christine: what’s been the most rewarding part of learning and participating and, and becoming an active participant and being able to help other military families.

[00:24:28] Ceasarae: Honestly, I think the most rewarding part is just knowing what we went through and knowing that I’ve been able to help other families avoid those same situations. I have had the opportunity to help families who have disabled children like my own. I’ve been able to help disabled military spouses and all different types of families with different struggles, and just knowing that I’ve been able to help them avoid some of the, the heartache and the trouble that we went.

[00:24:55] Christine: So what are some of the biggest challenges that families still are facing and what is currently being done to make things better? So

[00:25:05] Ceasarae: as far as families living in on base housing go, the biggest issue is just accountability because you can quote the laws all day long to a housing company and if there’s no one holding them accountable and making sure they’re following those laws.

[00:25:23] you’re not gonna get anywhere. And so as far as that goes, there are a lot of people including afa, the organization that I work with that are advocating and sharing stories with members of Congress, letting them know that we need more accountability. And there is a bill that has been introduced to actually create.

[00:25:47] Committee to kind of do more oversight and accountability on that. But as far as more like individual scale issues, the biggest one is with actually getting modifications done. Families will. Request a house and be told, you know, this house is modifiable. Let us know if there’s anything you need changed.

[00:26:09] And then when it comes time to actually need something changed, it takes a long time to actually make any progress and

[00:26:16] Christine: get anything done. So does the housing office sometimes just kind of put it off in hopes that. It never actually happens. Or do they actually deny the modification, how, what usually happens?

[00:26:29] Ceasarae: Previously it was constantly the answer of, okay, this modification can be done, but you’ll need to pay for it in January of 2022 with the N D A A. , there was a new language that was introduced in the N D A A where families no longer have to pay for their modifications. The housing provider now has to pay for them, and it has taken a long time and a lot of education to kind of catch the housing offices up and let them know that you know, Hey, you can’t make families pay for this anymore.

[00:27:03] You have to pay for it yourself. And so now the housing offices are having to figure out how to fund these and pay for them. and that often causes a lot of delay along with still seeing effects of supply chain issues with mod modifications to my own home. Once we got everything approved and signed off on, it still took a couple of months to even get the pieces and parts in that they needed to do the modifications because things are so back.

[00:27:33] Christine: Yeah, I can imagine just knowing, just all of the challenges a that happen are happening with supply chain issues around the world, and then just knowing how many challenges there are with. Space housing, having lived on a couple of different bases now and always the, the challenges of working with the housing companies to be like, Hey, I don’t want a house with molds or with all of these different issues that can affect people.

[00:28:04] So I really appreciate people like you that are out there advocating. and doing the work. If somebody is trying to find out more or is trying to figure out where to get started in this process, where do they begin? How can they go and get the answers that they need? Yeah,

[00:28:25] Ceasarae: so I have helped create some resources and some other people on my team have also created some great resources that can be accessed online and those can be accessed on the.

[00:28:38] AF housing advocates.org. We have a guide called Disability Rights in Military Housing where me and another disability rights advocate worked together to really outline in plain English exactly what your rights are as a military family who has a disabled family member, and it goes. in depth on your rights under each different law and how they apply what they really mean in a way that’s easy to understand and follow.

[00:29:11] And then for somebody who is actively looking to make requests or is already trying to make requests and is needing assistance on the website, there’s actually a. A get help button where if they fill out and say that they need help, they will be connected with either myself or our director of disability services who can help them one-on-one.

[00:29:34] Christine: Perfect. And if somebody would like to reach out and just they, they’ve heard your story and they want somebody that can just talk to them about what it’s like to have a child with a disability. You know, just this whole process of letting go of what we thought life was gonna be like and accepting the life we have.

[00:29:56] How, how can people get in touch with you?

[00:29:59] Ceasarae: Yeah, so I am on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok, and my name on all of those is A, is for accessible and that is where I share my personal story as well as lots of great resources and information related to disability.

[00:30:15] Christine: Well, thank you so much for coming on today and for sharing your story.

[00:30:20] I, I know that it’s so important when we can share stories with others and know that we are all better together and being honest about what we’ve gone through, and then using what we have and what we’ve experienced to be able. To help other people. And that’s, that’s really what truly matters. And, and that’s really what it is to be a military spouse in crafting a life with purpose.

[00:30:46] So thank you so much for coming on the show today. Yes, thank

[00:30:50] Ceasarae: you. I really appreciate the opportunity to be on here and to talk about my story and. everything that I am helping people with.

[00:30:57] Christine: As we wrap up today, is there something that you would like to leave other military spouses? Something that you’ve learned along the journey or that you would, the encouragement you would just like to give other military

[00:31:12] Ceasarae: families?

[00:31:13] Yeah, so the one thing that I like to tell everybody military or not, is to just know your worth, that you. , you’re valuable and be willing to fight for what you’re worth.

[00:31:25] Christine: Absolutely. So good. That’s a great note to leave the show on today. Thank you so much. Thank you, friends. I hope you got a lot of value out of this conversation and that you learned something.

[00:31:39] There is such a massive shift that happens when we can go from the perspective of why in the world is this my circum. Is this my situation and move towards this place of, okay, I am accepting where I’m at, and I’m choosing to use my circumstances and my story to positively impact others. This is how we live a life of.

[00:32:10] and complete side note, I actually found this conversation really fascinating, not just because I think this is really good information to share with other people who are in need of accessible housing, but because I actually live in an accessible house and I had no knowledge of what was needed, what goes into accessible housing, what that looks like before we moved into this, But then we moved in and I had all of these questions like, why is my dishwasher smaller than a normal dishwasher?

[00:32:49] Because the countertops are a little bit lower. And why are there no cabinets? Under my sinks? I’m just used to storing stuff under the sink, but it’s completely open because they want to, to be able for a wheelchair to get under there and. Why is there no microwave above my oven? Well, somebody that’s wheelchair bound isn’t gonna be able to reach it, and there’s all of these things that I have noticed from living in this home that I never even would’ve thought about otherwise.

[00:33:22] So I think when we hear a story like this, when we get information like this, I hope that it encourages all of us just to take some time to, to, number one, be grateful for where we are and what we have at number two. Look at the potentially frustrating or challenging parts of our own story and say, how could I use this to positively impact someone else’s life?

[00:33:53] So those are the two things I would encourage you to sit with today. And as we wrap up, I want to remind. Don’t forget about the replay of the plan. Your 2023 workshop. If you are ready to start crafting a life with purpose and really make the most of the time you have this year, that is where you get started.

[00:34:19] Also, I would love to see you inside our free milspouse Mastermind community over on Facebook. Come join the conversation. We would love to have you over. Milspouse mastermind.com/community. That will take you right to the group. Have an amazing week, friends, and until next time, may you live filled, fueled and full of joy.