For the first time, I’m sharing publicly about my journey of opening a coffee shop, what I learned through the process, and how these lessons can help you go after your own big dream.

You Opened A Coffeeshop??

[00:04:30] So the number one question I get is, “Why did you open a coffee shop?” Especially when people learned that I didn’t used to drink coffee. While I was not a big coffee drinker, I absolutely loved coffee shops more for the space that it created. The feeling of going into that third place, sharing a drink, and getting to know others. That opportunity to connect over a cup of coffee, tea, whatever was something that I loved. My husband and I, who were newly married at the time, had always had these dreams of someday starting a business together. A coffeeshop was one of the ideas we’d talked about. Oh, that might be fun to do when we’re no longer doing military life.

[00:05:26] Fast forward a couple of years into our marriage, we move . It was my first time to PCS, to go from having a very good job to having to say goodbye to that job, and moving to a place where I cannot find a job.  It was the first time since turning 16 that I had not had a job. And that was a big transition for me.

When Military Life Forces You to Consider New Options

[00:05:57] What do I do now that this huge piece of my life, this huge plan I had for my life and my future that has shifted and what am I going to do now?

Number one, I’ve always been interested in entrepreneurship. Number two, a traditional career is no longer available to me in that season, and so it really forced me to think outside the normal bounds of what I would do.

[00:06:29] I probably never would have really taken that plunge into entrepreneurship. If a traditional career had been available to me, I would’ve followed the path of everyone else around me. I would have done all the things that I thought. I was supposed to do, but having that door closed really opened me up to how many other possibilities and opportunities were out there.

[00:06:59] So the first big lesson is: Even when things do not work out the way you would like, that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the story. It just means we have to reframe our mindset and look for what is available, and it may not look like what you want. It may look different. It may not be everything you want it to be. It wasn’t like I moved to this town, I couldn’t find a job, and I immediately said, let’s open a coffee shop.

Embracing New Opportunities

The first thing that happened when we moved is that we could not get internet at our house. You might be thinking, “What in the world?” Because I was thinking, “What in the world?Where have you brought me that I cannot get internet access at our house?”

One of the only places in town that offered free wifi at the time was this little cafe/dessert shop.

[00:08:03] I started going into the shop almost every day to get on the internet. I was working on writing my thesis. I needed to access the internet, and this was one of the only places I could do it.

The second thing that happened is that I got to know the owner of the shop. Over time we developed a relationship, and she eventually came to me and asked me if I would help her with some marketing.

[00:08:37] Again, it wasn’t anything exciting or fancy or even within what I felt like I should be getting paid as a professional marketer. But that was what was available, so I took the opportunity.

After doing some work for her, she came to me and said, I’m leaving town and I’m gonna close the shop down unless you want to take it over.

[00:09:03] So I sat with the idea and I said, look, this town does not have a coffee shop. It doesn’t have any kind of real community gathering space. What if I took this opportunity and created that for this community. I love local businesses. I love the community that coffee shops can create. Let’s try it. 

[00:09:32] Like I said, coffee was not my expertise. I was not familiar with what good coffee is, and thankfully I had a local roaster that I was able to work with that taught me a lot about what good coffee is and how you get a good cup of coffee. So, It was this initial experience of, oh my goodness, I am now a business owner.

[00:10:05] I have taken the plunge, something that I never thought I would do. And when you are stepping into something new, there is this excitement that comes with taking on a new challenge of trying something that you haven’t done before. And yes, it’s a little bit nerve-wracking. But also launching is a little bit exciting because you have all of this excitement and hope and ideas of what this can become for the future.

[00:10:36] So, There is this initial excitement that comes with launching and then you get into the nuts and bolts of how you make the thing re a reality, and you quickly learn in entrepreneurship that entrepreneurship is not easy and it is not. For the faint of heart, it takes a lot of time and energy and effort to really get something off the ground.

[00:11:05] There are so many obstacles that will get in your way, and it can be easy to get discouraged. So you have this initial buildup, this initial excitement of what you’re going to do, what this thing is going to become, and then you hit. The ground, you get the reality of what life as a business owner really entails When something goes wrong and it will, it’s up to you to solve the problem, to figure out what to do in that situation.

[00:11:38] Owning a coffee shop meant that there was times when we couldn’t get product in, when there was shipment delays, when people did not show up to work. Their shift. As a small business owner, you wear a lot. Of hats you have things that you do that you are really good at, and there are things that need to happen that are probably not within your wheelhouse.

[00:12:05] They’re probably things that you don’t yet know how to do or you’re not, you don’t love doing. But as a startup, as a small business owner, a lot of times you have to learn on the job. You have to figure out. What you can do and what you eventually want to be able to outsource to someone else. And when you are starting something new, that is challenging, that is hard.

[00:12:32] It is very easy to burn yourself out. And I’ll go into this in a little bit more detail in a minute. But I just wanna spend a second talking about that initial experience, because I know several of you are thinking about launching a business. You want a way to make money, you want to be able to.

[00:12:56] Contribute financially while still having some time freedom and flexibility that your family needs as a military family. And so this episode is not to discourage you from taking action because I want to see you. Be successful and to go after your dreams and to be able to launch the theme. But I also want to provide you with a realistic look at what is involved so that you’re not surprised when it gets hard, because launching a business.

[00:13:31] Was in some sense, absolutely amazing. It was the most exhilarating experience to say, I am doing this thing. I am chasing this dream that so many have but won’t attempt to take action on. The ways that I got to be a part of my local community, the relationships I got to build with some of our regular customers, the opportunities I had to combine so many of my passions and talents, those days felt amazing.

[00:14:05] But it was also really tough and there were days when I was discouraged, when I was frustrated because I was trying to do so many things all at the same time. When I was forced to do things that I was not yet skilled in how to do and to be confronted with all of the things that you are not yet. Good at that.

[00:14:33] You have not learned how to do well, and to have other people criticize you for the things you don’t yet know how to do is hard because you do face criticism. You do face so many obstacles that you need to learn how to deal with. I grew so much through this process. But I also burned myself out in the process.

[00:15:04] And so when I look back on this opportunity that I had, when I look back on this season of life where I was in the day-to-day of running a brick and mortar business, there are things that I absolutely loved about the experience, and there were things that were really, really tough. And so what I want to do for, for the next few minutes is talk about some of my biggest takeaways from this experience. Takeaways that I think are going to help you as you seek to start a purpose fueled business as you seek to grow and to be able to navigate the obstacles that come your way. 

My Takeaways From Owning a Brick & Mortar Business as a Military Spouse

Running a Business Is Hard

So what were my biggest takeaways? Number one, that running a business is hard and every kind of business is different, and every kind of business is going to have its unique challenges, but there will be obstacles that happen.

[00:16:03] It is not easy. If it were easy, everyone would do it.

It is Easy to Burn Yourself Out In the Process

Number two, it is easy to burn yourself out in the process and this idea of hustle culture that you just need to put more time and effort in that you just need to hustle harder. That doesn’t help. It’s very easy because you can see the more time and effort and energy you put into something.

[00:16:32] The more results you’ll have, especially in the beginning, but it it, it is easy to burn yourself out to sacrifice the things that matter most to you in the process. And I don’t want that for you. I didn’t want that. For me, and I learned the hard way, what that does to your soul, to your ability to show up as the version of yourself that you wanna be, the version of yourself that’s able to pour out into others, to give your best to your spouse or to your kiddos.

[00:17:10] I didn’t have kiddos at this time, but. When I think about my kids and what they need, I was putting in 70 hours a week to make this a success, and that’s not something that I am willing to do anymore.

Running a Brick & Mortar Business as a Military Spouse is Hard

Number three, the third thing that. I really learned through this process is that it is really hard to have a brick and mortar business as a military spouse.

[00:17:37] One of the things that I am so grateful for that has come leaps and bounds over the last decade is our ability to do work remotely, to work from home, to have digital businesses that aren’t dependent on. You being in one physical location, it is so much easier to have a business that I can take with me that allows me to work from anywhere that isn’t dependent on me being in one particular location.

Failure Is Only Failure If We Don’t Learn From It

[00:18:11] Perhaps the biggest takeaway of all is that failure is only failure if we don’t learn from it. It can feel like something is a failure if it doesn’t have long-term success. After running the coffee shop for two years, we had to shut it down because we were PCSing again, and it just didn’t work out to where I could continue to orate.

[00:18:40] This brick and mortar business as we’re moving to another state and it can feel like, whoa, what was that all for? We built this thing. We poured all of this time and effort and energy into it, and for what? But here’s the thing. Failure can only be failure if we don’t learn from it. So many times we don’t ever start something.

[00:19:05] We don’t take a risk because we’re afraid of the failure or what might happen, but the thing is, we can’t see the future. Yes, there’s absolutely risk in taking on a new venture, but we also have to reframe our idea of success. Is doing this thing going to help me get clarity on my purpose? Is it going to help me grow?

[00:19:34] Is it gonna teach me new things? Is it going to help me step into my potential? Can I use this for the future? Is there a way that this is going to positively impact others’ lives? Don’t be afraid to try something new because you never know what is possible and what opportunities might come out of that experience.

[00:20:05] You know, when we initially moved there and I could not get internet at my house, I didn’t see the good in that. I didn’t know that I needed to go to this dessert shop and spend time working there. And when I started doing freelance marketing, that wasn’t at the level of my professional experience in marketing.

[00:20:29] I didn’t know that that was going to lead to this opportunity to open a coffee shop, and when I had to shut down the shop because we were moving, I didn’t know all of the ways that I was going to be able to use what I learned in the future. I didn’t know that I was going to get the opportunity to help open a coffee shop at our next duty station that is still in operation to this day.

[00:21:00] I didn’t know that I was going to end up using my espresso machine and my new found love for good coffee to host gatherings at my house for military spouses to help foster connection and community. I didn’t know that my husband and I were going to end up starting to roast our own coffee beans that we were able to share with others, and I didn’t know that I was going to find such a deep love and appreciation and passion for helping other small business owners not burn out.

[00:21:40] I love helping people step into their full potential, and I love helping them learn how to do this well in a way that still allows them to create space for what matters most. I have such a passion to help you. Pursue your dreams without burning yourself out in the process, without falling victim to the mentality that you just have to hustle harder and make it happen.

[00:22:12] Because yes, when you do more, you make progress faster, but it’s not sustainable. And what I want for you and for me, and for all of us, is to be able to make an income by living in alignment with our purpose, to feel inspired by the work that we do, and to do it from a place of health and wholeness and joy and less overwhelmed.

[00:22:41] When we moved, I didn’t know that any of that was going to happen. All I knew is that I didn’t want to get to that place of burnout again, and I didn’t want others to go there either. I didn’t wanna step into a new entrepreneurship venture until I found a way that I felt like I could make it work for our military life to prioritize our family and to be able to use my skills and my gifts to make a difference in the life of others.

[00:23:20] And this is why I ultimately ended up starting this podcast because of my passion to see you step into your purpose and live with more meaning and less overwhelm. To be able to do the thing on your heart without burning yourself out in the process. This is what getting unstuck and crafting a life with purpose is all about.

[00:23:45] I want to empower you to clarify your purpose, to make those mindset shifts that help you through those tough seasons, and to figure out the systems and routines and schedules that you need to help you to pursue your dream while still prioritizing what matters most. I want to help you take that idea, that dream, that vision on your heart and bring it to life because it is hard and we were never meant to do this alone.

[00:24:21] We are better together. I want you to live with more meaning and less overwhelmed. I don’t want you to stay stuck or feel like you have to give up on the dreams on your heart because there is something that you have to offer the world. And when you step into the fullness of who God created you to be, when you use your gifts and skills and experiences that God has allowed you to walk through and make a difference in the life of others that.

[00:24:51] Matters. Just imagine the impact when each of us feels equipped and empowered to step into a life with purpose and do it in a way that brings life to both ourselves. And those around us. So if you are looking for a support system, someone that can help you bring your dream to life, or maybe you are building your business, but you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’re feeling burned out and you want to do things a little bit differently.

[00:25:24] If you want a coach that can help you do this in a different way, then I would love to be there for you. Just send me an email hello@milspamastermind.com, because I want to see you fully thrive and step into a life with purpose. All right, those are my big takeaways and why I am so passionate about entrepreneurship and about helping you step into a life with more meaning and less overwhelm.

All right, that is all I have for you today. If you have additional questions about what I learned or want to pick my brain in any way, I would love to connect with you.