[00:00:24] Yes, it’s possible. And that’s exactly what we’re gonna talk about on today’s episode. I can’t wait to introduce to you my guest for today, systems expert Laura Hernandez. We talk about why systems matter, how to figure out what’s not working in your home. Where to start when you want to bring systems into the picture, how to implement the three pillars into your schedule, how to eliminate.

[00:00:55] Automate and delegate, and then how to develop a teamwork mentality and get your kids involved. At the end of the day, it’s not about having a perfect home or the perfect work-life balance. It’s about living with more intentionality and having a life giving home. Being able to show up for a life that brings peace and purpose to your life. A life that allows you to show up for yourself, for your family, and for what matters most to you. Ready to learn how? Then let’s dive into the show.

[00:02:27] One of the things we are going to talk about today is identifying what matters most to you and to your family. And I think one of the ways that we can do this really well is by assessing how our life looks today. And then we can identify what needs to change so that we can show up in a way that brings. Life to ourselves and those around us, and that’s why I created a free assessment for you.

[00:02:50] You can download that assessment today by going to milspouse mastermind.com/growth wheel to get started. All right, today, I am excited to bring to you systems expert. Laura Hernandez to talk about how we can live with more intention and actually create a life that is life-giving rather than soul sucking.

[00:03:14] Laura is a wife and mama to 10 amazing people in a four year span. Her family grew from four kids to 10 kids, and she realized she wasn’t thriving. She felt exhausted. And overwhelmed. She spent hundreds of hours trying to figure out systems, routines, and schedules that would work for their family. And after finally, Creating peace for herself and her family.

[00:03:43] She wanted to help other mamas do the same. So she founded Mama Systems, a coaching service that helps mamas live with peace and intention through customized systems that work for their family. She has now helped dozens of military spouses implement systems so they can parent and manage their homes from a place of calm, not chaos.

Systems Give Stability

[00:04:09] Christine: Laura, welcome to the Milspouse Mastermind Show. Your mission, which I love, is bringing peace to your home one system at a time. I think that’s something that we all want, but I would love for you to talk about where that mission came from and a little bit about your story.

[00:04:38] Laura: So my husband and I have 10 kiddos, but we didn’t, we didn’t get there overnight, but we did go from four to six in a six month period, I’m sorry, four to eight in a six month period. And that transition was absolutely overwhelming to me. And I felt like I was definitely in survival mode and was just trying to get to the end of the day, extreme chaos.

[00:04:59] Having no idea. I felt like I had parenting under control and then all of a sudden I didn’t, and I didn’t know what to do. And I was looking for systems, looking for things that worked, but nothing seemed to work for our family. Just because we were quote unquote so unique. We had all these little, tiny people.

[00:05:12] Some were fosters, we had therapists in and out of our home cause they were special needs buddies. And it, it was just so much. And so I finally was like, we’ve gotta figure out something. We’ve gotta do something. And it was kind of like I just dumped all the pieces on the table and started sifting through like, What really matters to us in our family?

[00:05:28] Like what do we value, what do we wanna do, and how can we create systems around those things because everything else doesn’t really matter and we can get rid of those things. So all that to say, after getting systems in place, realize there’s so much peace that comes from having systems and reliable things in our lives.

[00:05:44] And so now I get to coach other moms and help them. And I love, I have lots of mamas that have coached that are military spouses and they just have my heart because they are serving. Our country as well, and I’m, I’m grateful so to anyone who’s listening, I’m just so grateful for your service and how you’re holding on the fort at home so that your spouse can go serve and either be gone or be gone on a daily basis and doing hard things for our country.

[00:06:12] Christine: That is so true and I think systems have made such a huge difference in my life as a military spouse. So I love to have you come on here and be able to talk us through this, what were the ages of your kids at the time and, and talk about that transition a little bit, because that’s a lot to go from four to eight.

[00:06:32] I mean, just adding one kid at a time is a big transition. So when you’re like doubling the number of kids in your home at one time, that’s a lot.

[00:06:40] Laura: It was huge. And we had just had our fifth biological and we were up in Seattle, and then our son that we had fostered for a while got back into care along with his two siblings, but we could only adopt them slash care for them, have custody of them, however you wanna phrase that.

[00:06:55] If we moved back to Texas, so we moved across the country, moved to Dallas area, were fostering these three little buddies and. Just everything you would think that would be so overwhelming, like feeling like you have strangers dropped off at your house and they’re not leaving. All of that was going on and it was just so much.

[00:07:12] And then for a hot minute, we had their little mom had another baby and that baby was dropped off with us too for two months. And so our oldest was either seven or eight at the time, and I mean, our youngest was five months, four months. And so I. Yes. It was just so much. It was so much, and so it, it felt like I was running a daycare or something like that where I very quickly had to figure out, okay, I’m the manager of this place.

[00:07:39] How do I get things under control? You know?

The Starting Point for Establishing Systems in Your Home

[00:07:41] Christine: Yeah. So where did you start? When, when you’re in this place, and there’s a lot going on, so many moving pieces, when you have therapists in and out of your home, all of this, where did you get started with all of this? What did you do?

[00:07:57] Laura: Yeah. So my first step and how I kind of coach moms too is to assess everything.

[00:08:01] So write down everything you’re doing throughout the day and kind of like, Hey, how long does it take you to do these things? Right? And then of those things, what gives you life and what drains you. And the beautiful thing about this exercise is that you may see that you’re spending two hours on Instagram and you.

[00:08:18] Put that down and you feel crappier about yourself, right? So you are not only wasting two hours of your day, but it’s not building you up in any way, and it’s completely draining you. You know? And so that’s an easy thing that we can just say, let’s eliminate that time. Let’s delete the app. Let’s get rid of it altogether so that we can be more present with our people and show up as a better mama.

[00:08:36] So after we’ve kind of gone through and label all those things, whether they’re giving us life, whether we feel neutral about them, or whether they’re draining us, we then look at all the things that are draining you and try to create space. In your day and in your life by eliminating, automating, and delegating those things.

[00:08:53] So all of the, all of the things that drain us, what of those can we get rid of? Like, what do we not really need to be doing that maybe don’t fit in with our priorities? Like, are we driving our kids to soccer pro 16 times a day because that’s what everybody else is doing, you know? So really taking a look at what we value in our home and how we wanna be implementing things, and what things can we get rid of.

[00:09:17] So less stuff, less picking up, less everything. And then we go into automating and figuring out what things we can set on timers so we’re not thinking about it. Because as a mom, you are making at least the minimum of 35,000 decisions every day. But I think there’s probably a whole lot more than that.

[00:09:36] That’s the average person, but it’s probably a whole lot more than that. Cause you’re also making decisions for everyone else in your family all day long. And so whatever we can already decide ahead of time. And already create a system for ahead of time. Like that takes that away from us. So all of this would be automations and then delegating, delegating things out to our kids, delegating things out to other people, having people come in and help for different areas of life.

[00:10:00] Oh my goodness. So that’s, I love to get those things clear so then we can move in and prioritize the things that really matter.

[00:10:06] Christine: I love that because there’s, there’s so much that you said, and I would love to unpack. But really starting from this point of what do I value? What are the things that are important to me and to our family, rather than what are the things that everyone around us says are important?

[00:10:24] Or, you know, we’re going to the soccer game because everybody else has their kid on the soccer team too. But being able to say, Hey, what are the things that are important to our family? And, and then let’s start there. So I love that. At what point. Did you go from saying, okay, I’ve, I’ve created these systems that work for my family, and now I wanna be able to help other people?

[00:10:50] Because sometimes we can get to this, this place of, oh, I learned this thing for myself and now I can do this. But going from, Hey, I know how to do something and I’ve learned the hard way, how to do something and then be able to say, I can help other people with this same exact thing. So talk us through that transition, because I also think it’s important to realize that whatever it is that you have in your life, your experiences, that there’s something there that can help other people.

[00:11:21] And sometimes we don’t recognize that and we don’t step into. That’s a way that I could potentially even earn some extra income on this side. So I would love for you to share that piece of your story. Yeah.

[00:11:34] Laura: So I, I’m a person of faith and I believe wholeheartedly that the journeys I’ve been through, the hardships, I’ve gone through, the hardness of my kiddos with special needs and the things we’ve gone through with adoption and fostering all of that, that all of that’s meant to be used for good.

[00:11:51] Right? And so, I could just stop, but I don’t feel like that would be a good steward of even my hardships. Cause I think that we’re supposed to be good stewards of not only the good stuff that we’ve been given, but also the bad stuff that we’ve been given. And that doesn’t mean that you’re sharing your junk all the time with everybody, but just figuring out, Hey, I’ve gone through this.

[00:12:11] I’ve learned something from this. How can I encourage other mamas or encourage other people in the same way, right? Because somebody is. Where you were last year at this time and they’re struggling and wouldn’t it have been great if somebody would’ve come alongside you and said, Hey, look what I found.

[00:12:27] Look at these resources I have. Let me help walk you through this. Let me just let you cry with me for a while. Like whatever those things are that brought you so much life, some other mama is needing those desperately. And so that was kind of my heart behind it, is I figured out. These systems for sure.

[00:12:45] But I also figured out that my kiddos that have special needs, hey, there’s services out there. Hey, you know what? A lot of kids who are adopted have fetal alcohol spectrum disorder and we’re not talking about it. So how can we open that conversation and be more open about it so that way other mamas who are struggling with this can kind of come in and learn the things that I’ve learned along the way.

[00:13:03] And I think that’s just vital. I think that’s beautiful. Like interconnectedness of the human race and kind of what we’re here to do, you know?

[00:13:11] Christine: For sure. I, I love that so much because it’s just really important for us to be able to look at our whole life experience. And nothing that we go through has to be in vain.

[00:13:23] All of that, all of the parts of us. That’s, that’s who we are. And we can use that to serve others. And, and that’s what the heartbeat of this podcast is about, is helping people. Step into their story and be able to craft a life with purpose. And systems are a great way to be able to support our ability to pursue our purpose and to share what we’ve learned with others.

[00:13:48] So what would you recommend is one place that moms can start today to bring peace into their homes?

Start with Your Evening Routine

[00:13:57] Laura: Yeah, so I love starting with an evening routine because, It kind of creates this bookend. And even though we’re just thinking about evening routines, how I like to design an evening routine is really helping your morning routine.

[00:14:12] And so then we have these beautiful bookends on the ends of the day, right? So an evening routine at our home. And every home is different, every child is different. Every hear me say that a million times over. So I’m not saying that everyone else needs to do this, this is just how we roll. So we start ours at five o’clock and we have alarms go off in our house at five o’clock.

[00:14:32] And what this helps me do is stay on track with my time because I will look at the clock and be, it’s seven 30, no one’s eaten, it’s bedtime, and oh my goodness, we have so much to do right now. And it just breeds this stress and anxiety and you breathe yelling and snapping at children and all these things, right?

[00:14:49] And so that’s not how I wanna show up. So if I set the alarm for five o’clock, if that accuses me, let’s go in and start making dinner. We’re gonna get them before they’re hangry. And we’re also gonna have kids doing their afternoon jobs. So I’m not in the kitchen being upset about kids, and they’re making a big mess outta the house.

[00:15:05] I just cleaned up today. You know, like we’re all gonna help together, clean up and get ready for dinner and get ready for the next day. So we have afternoon jobs at our house, and that’s at five o’clock. What this, what those are. And so every kid has a job. To help set the table or get ready for dinner.

[00:15:21] So that could be like serving the plates or it could be getting forks on the table. Our three-year-old loves, he’ll go get his little chart when the alarm goes off and start putting forks out on the table. And it’s so great cause he just sees the value and the beauty of us working together as a team and like he wants to be a part of it, right?

[00:15:37] So something for dinner, then every, everybody’s supposed to get ready for the next day. So that’s laying out their clothes, getting their backpacks ready, making their lunches, all of those things. And then, They each have a zone to pick up. And this could be like, Hey, you’re in charge of picking up the living room for my older kids and like very specific things about what I expect of them so that expectations are clear.

[00:15:58] But it also could be like, Hey, I need you to go around the house and pick up all the socks. And I will typically give that job to the person who takes off their socks everywhere in the house and their job is to go find all the socks and put them in the dirty clothes because those drive me crazy, you know?

[00:16:13] So, And when you’re thinking about zones, like be thinking like, what do I want picked up? And I, I think about it as like, when I wake up in the morning, how do I want my house to look like? Do I wanna be tripping over toys in the living room? No. Okay. So I’m gonna have somebody pick those up in the evening time.

[00:16:27] And all of those things can kind of help breed your morning so that your morning’s successful. So you have a great start to your day and a great end to your day. Evening routine. Start with chores. We’ll have dinner and dinner. I love, I love having these kind of anchors in your day of times when you’re already together as a family.

[00:16:44] And you can be intentional with, cuz everybody’s coming to the table to eat, right? So how can we be intentional with that time at dinner? What can you do? What does your family value? What do you wanna instill in your kids? And it doesn’t have to be anything, it doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. You don’t have to buy a course or curriculum or anything like that to be teaching your kids.

[00:17:02] In our home we do highs and lows and everybody goes around and does a high and a low, and then they say how it made them feel. And my goal with that is, To have everybody practice listening to each other so that everybody knows that they have a time in the day where they get undivided attention from everyone in the home.

[00:17:20] And then also to be able to expand their emotional vocabulary. Cause I think that is so important, especially with my special buddies that have a bunch of big feelings that has been so vital and them being able to say, I’m really frustrated right now. And you’re like, oh, that was amazing. Thank you for sending stuff.

[00:17:35] Like, I’m so mad. Like, We have real words to describe what we’re feeling. So that’s again, just a small example of, there’s a lot of intention behind that, but it just takes 10 minutes. It’s not anything. And that’s 10 minutes for our big family. Just a few minutes to really be productive with that.

[00:17:51] Christine: I think one of the things that I have learned about instituting systems is that it really does force you to be more intentional about mm-hmm.

[00:18:02] What you’re doing with your time, because it’s so easy to just kind of, Let things happen as they do, and then you get to the end of the day and you’re like, what happened? You know, I had this great idea of how my day was gonna go, and then it, it just kind of fell apart. But when you start to try to establish systems, it really does force you to focus on how am I spending this time?

[00:18:26] What am I doing with this time, and how can I make. The moments of our day meaningful and, and to really say, okay, I’m gonna make today matter. Even if it’s not one big thing. It’s just about living with intention really.

[00:18:44] Laura: It absolutely is. And when you’re saying that, when you’re like, when you get to the end of the day and you’re like, what did, what did we do all day?

[00:18:49] And I don’t, I don’t know about you, maybe you haven’t had one of these years yet, but I’ve been at the end of a year and thinking like, what do we do this year? Like, Just feeling like the year was wasted. And I know it wasn’t, and I know whatever. I know those things. But the, the paradox of like, on the other end of things, being able to look, look what we did this year and look what I was able to teach my kids and look how we grew and look how, you know, we had this hardship but we got through it.

[00:19:14] Like, I mean, it’s just night and day difference and it’s so beautiful. I

[00:19:18] Christine: think it’s interesting because when you bring up getting to the end of the year and just thinking, okay, what did we actually do this year? My experience has been moving roughly every two years, but on the years that we move, it can feel like.

[00:19:34] Life is chaotic and all over the place, but sometimes it can feel like you get to the end of the year and you’re like, I don’t know what happened this year. I spent the entire year moving. So I would love for you to speak specifically to this military lifestyle, and there’s two things that I would love for you to touch on.

[00:19:55] Number one, when you are moving and you feel like you had systems that worked at your last place, but nothing feels settled yet in your new place, talk about trying to restart some of those systems. And then I would love you to talk a little bit about. Well, the delegating part, but so many times we have a spouse with a crazy, crazy schedule or is off on deployments.

[00:20:21] They may be around, they may not be around, and it can feel like our routines are constantly shifting because of that. And I would love to know what advice you have for that situation as well.

What Happens to Your Systems When You Move?

[00:20:33] Laura: Yes. So I think that it kind of goes back to we’re gonna start over because if, I think if you try to put systems in, In a current house with your current age kids and your current lifestyle of your husband being gone all the time, and then he’s gonna be around or vice versa, like, Those are two very different circumstances, right?

[00:20:52] And so if we, if we can start with our values and what we know is important, it could be soccer. I don’t know why I keep picking up soccer, but here we go. It could be soccer. Okay, this is really important to our family. And so we’re gonna find a soccer league here and we’re gonna get involved with that and those, that’s gonna kind of dictate our schedule for this year.

[00:21:08] Cause that’s really important to us. And then everything else will kind of flow out from there. Work could not be soccer, and that could be like, I don’t know, whatever it is for your family. Like having that value and knowing what you want and what you want to instill in your kids, what you want to impart upon them, what you want them to be involved in.

[00:21:25] Like finding a faith community, your fa like whatever those things are. Having that be your priority and kind of planning out from there. I think is probably where we need to go with that, with two different, two different scenarios. Right. And there’s some things that are gonna stay the same. Like you want your kids to have chores in the morning and you want them to have chores in the afternoon, and you want to teach ’em that responsibility.

[00:21:44] So kind of doing the nitty gritty work in one space is not gonna look much different than doing the nitty grit gritty work over here, except it might be a new home. And so instead of you clean up the living room, you might be cleaning up the TV room or I, I, I don’t, lemme know, but it could change just a little bit, right?

[00:22:01] To where your kids are still helping out, where it still brings you life, things are still being delegated to them, and they can help you guys live as a team and in a peaceful home.

Getting Your Family On Board With Systems

[00:22:12] Christine: And then talk about when you are in a family situation where you have the spouse that is gone and then they’re back, or they are on like a shift schedule where their schedule’s all over the place.

[00:22:26] How do you go about setting up those systems and routines that work

[00:22:29] Laura: for your family? Yeah, and I, I’ve worked with several mamas, and what I encourage them to do is we’re just gonna focus on you. We’re gonna pretend like it’s just you. And the joy of this is we’re creating things that bring you life because you’re at home and you’re doing all the things, you’re managing all the people, you’re managing the home.

[00:22:50] I mean, you’re doing all the work. Not that your husband’s not God, love him out there doing whatever he’s doing, but you matter the best to me and. If we can get things that feed you and give you life, if we have self-care systems in place, if we have things that kids help you clean up every day, like those things we’re gonna schedule out our day and it’s gonna really revolve around you.

[00:23:13] I’m hoping that sounds okay to everyone.

[00:23:16] Christine: Yes, it sounds amazing because I think it is so important that we be able to create a life that’s fulfilling and a lot of that comes down to. Instituting things that do bring us life and to have the way that we can schedule our life around infusing joy in the day-to-day task of everyday life.

[00:23:39] Laura: Yes. And then when your husband comes back, or it’s like if he’s more on a shift schedule and you’re like, okay, he’s here Saturday through Monday, and wonderful. That’s great. Think of things that you can do then to like be, have that family time or have those things that you really want to impart with your kids.

[00:23:57] And then if he has to be gone for the weekend, then you just stick with your normal routine of, Hey, we’re gonna do this in the morning, we’re gonna do this in the evening. But just having that intention around it and having conversations with him around it of, Hey, so when you come back, I want you to know that this is what we’re doing in the morning.

[00:24:11] This is what we’re doing in the evening. I’d really like you to be on board with me like. I’m trying to teach our kids X, Y, Z. Hopefully you guys can be a part of that conversation, have open conversations about setting those up and implementing them, but knowing he’s not gonna be there most of the time.

[00:24:26] So it needs to serve you first and foremost.

[00:24:29] Christine: Love that. Okay, so let’s talk a little bit, we, you kind of mentioned at the beginning of the episode talking about like eliminating the things that are really distracting you and taking away and not fueling you and filling you with life. Talk for a minute about automation.

[00:24:47] What does that mean? What does that look like?

[00:24:52] Laura: Yes. So I think of pretty much every system as an automation because the joy of it. It takes off your thinking brain. Like all of those decisions that you’re making constantly. Every moment of the day we’re gonna try to eliminate as much of this as possible.

[00:25:06] Okay? So that’s planning ahead of time. Making that decision once. So you’re not having to make it in the moment cuz you’re making those decisions, period, the end. But if they’re already made for you, you’ve already made them before, then you don’t need to rethink about it. And you don’t need to redo it and you don’t need to argue with kids about it.

[00:25:23] Like it’s just, that’s what we’re doing, you know? And it can be as simple as like on Mondays I wear this shirt, it could be that simple like having a Monday uniform, cuz that’s the most stressful morning. I’m trying to get everybody out the door and the last thing I need to be doing is spending 20 minutes in the closet trying to figure out what I’m gonna wear.

[00:25:41] But I can wear this shirt every day and have a little uniform for Monday and that’s my automation cuz it automatically happens, right? So it can be something like that where we have something that we expect, we know it’s gonna happen. Set in stone. We also have automations that are amazing with our technology world.

[00:25:59] And these can be simple things like subscribe and save and groceries showing up at your door, or, I mean, we have air filters delivered to our house every three months because I know that I will never change them out if they don’t just magically show up. And so things like that, that we can set up, they’ll pay.

[00:26:18] Whatever on, on computer and devices is so life-giving cuz you don’t have to think about it. I also love using Alexa, Google Play, whatever you have, whatever device you have in your home along with your phone as reminders with alarms, just to help you kind of get through the day. Because we get to the point where we’re just so reactionary that we don’t even know what time it is we’re going from thing to thing.

[00:26:42] But if I have a timer set for going to pick up my kids at school, like I need to leave by two 20. So, If I leave by two 20, then I’m gonna have that alarm set so that I can stop what I’m doing and go. But I’m not the whole time, like look at my watch and try to plan out do I have enough time? Like we’re not doing that.

[00:26:56] I have an alarm set. I know what I’m doing. You know, so those devices and things are helping me. Hoping be my brain power.

[00:27:04] Christine: Yes. And it’s interesting because when you have a system that works for you and then that is taken away, it’s, it becomes that much more obvious, like, oh, mm-hmm. That saved me so much time.

[00:27:16] Like when I used to have my grocery pickup every week, I had my cart preloaded. All I had to do was add a couple items. Click go and then drive up. Pick it up. That was amazing. And then we moved somewhere where that was not an option for me anymore, and I was like, whoa, I spend so much more time going to the grocery store on a weekly basis.

[00:27:38] So those things, Really do make a difference. And it’s, it’s so much easier on our brain because you, you have so much brain power that comes when you have to make a decision about something in the moment and, and just how much easier it is on your brain because that’s what our brain wants to do. The easiest thing for us, right?

[00:28:02] Yes. So the more that we can think about that in advance, The easier it becomes when we’re in the moment. Yeah,

[00:28:09] Laura: so even just going to the grocery store, having a set day that you do that on and knowing that you’re gonna have to meal plan ahead of time so that you can go to the grocery store on Friday or go to the market on Friday, like wherever you are.

[00:28:21] And then. I mean, maybe you have to do it twice a week. I know, yes, you might have to do it twice a week. But having that plan of like, you know what, I’m gonna plan for three days, go to the grocery store and then come back and we’ll do that again. But just having that decided for you of when you’re gonna do that, I think is also very life-giving.

[00:28:37] So even if you don’t have like grocery pickup or something like that, there are things and ways that we can implement things and schedule things out. To make it easier on your brain. Love

[00:28:45] Christine: that. Okay. Talk about that third piece, the delegation piece. How can we delegate things?

[00:28:51] Laura: Yes. Asking your kids is a huge one.

[00:28:55] Chores for your kids. They can do a lot more than we often give them credit for and they can help out a lot more. And building that team mentality in your home. And that beauty especially, I mean, I feel like military families are so precious because they do so much moving and. They’re often, that’s it. Th those are your people, you know?

[00:29:14] And so really just building up that team mentality in your home of like, Hey, we’re all doing this together. This is what we do. We all help clean up together. At the end of the day, we all get ready in the morning together, help however we can, I think is so vital. But then also just being free to ask for help or pay someone for help.

[00:29:35] I know that as mamas these days, that a lot of that’s. Not expected of us, that we are expected to do it all. And you know, I’m just a stay-at-home mom, so I should be able to do it all. I hear that a lot and I’m like, no, no, you, no, no, no. It’s okay to need help. It’s okay to ask for help and it’s okay to hire help.

[00:29:55] Like those are all okay things to do.

[00:29:58] Christine: We were never meant to do life by ourselves. Mm-hmm. And I think so, so often, the way that our culture is today, it’s like, okay, like I have to be able to prove that I can do this all on my own. And that doesn’t set any of us up for success. And I know I’ve talked to so many people, it is so hard to ask for help when you know you need it.

[00:30:24] But there is. Such a blessing that comes when you allow others to help you. It, it really does make such a difference.

[00:30:34] Laura: It really does, and it binds you together. That vulnerability of like asking for help and then having someone show up and help you, it’s, it’s amazing.

[00:30:42] Christine: What are your tips for building that team mentality and getting your kids involved?

[00:30:50] Laura: Yeah, I think when they’re younger that it’s a lot of, Hey, this is just what we’re gonna do. Very matter of fact, when our kids are older, I think that vulnerability piece comes in and just saying like, Hey guys, I’m exhausted. Like I’m, I feel like I’m doing all of this all by myself and I really need your help.

[00:31:05] Would it be okay if we kind of divvy some things up and then get them to tell you what they want to do, like get them to buy in, cuz that’s gonna help the whole process go a lot smoother. Awesome.

[00:31:16] Christine: Okay. So would you say, because I know there are some people that are like, yes, I need this, I need systems in my life, and then there are some of us who are gonna be like, yeah, I don’t know if I am a systemized person.

[00:31:31] I’m not organized. Can systems help everybody?

The Real Value of Establishing Systems In Your Home

[00:31:34] Laura: Yes. Here’s the deal is that you are doing those things anyway. It’s kind of. Like, let me ask you the question. How do you wanna show up to those things? So when you’re feeding your people, do you want to show up as a calm prepared mama who can put dinner on the table and like, you know what you’re gonna eat for dinner?

[00:31:54] You know how it’s gonna get there, you know, when you’re gonna plan it, you know how it’s go, like all the things about it. Who’s helping you clean up? Or it can be like, oh crap, it’s six o’clock. I have to eat. What am I gonna feed him? Oh God. Like it just, it breeds this anxiety. And so having, Any system in place or you think through those things ahead of time and think how you wanna show up ahead of time.

[00:32:16] I think it’s so life giving and I think every mama would definitely benefit from it in every way, shape and form. It doesn’t mean that we’re like, just to be abundantly clear. Cause I think people think systems and they think, okay, Richard’s schedule, it’s 10 0 2, this is what we’re doing now, kind of thing.

[00:32:33] And I don’t, I don’t think it is that at all. I think it was more of a framework of. Okay. This is kind of how I want my ideal day to go and these are the things I’m shooting for. And they’re never gonna go as planned and somebody’s gonna throw up everywhere and we’re gonna have to clean that up. And you know, we know that as mamas, right?

[00:32:49] But we have something we’re shooting for and we have a plan in place that we’re striving

[00:32:54] Christine: for. Talk about some of the mamas that you’ve worked with and what has been the biggest difference that they’ve noticed since implementing the systems?

[00:33:05] Laura: Yeah, I think just that ability to breathe. Just going from feeling overwhelmed and exhausted and doing everything for everybody to feeling like I have a plan.

[00:33:16] I know what I’m doing, my kids know what they’re doing. Expectations have been made clear, like we’re all showing up as a team and we’re doing this together, I think are some of the biggest kind of themes that I hear after working with clients.

[00:33:29] Christine: I love that. So can you talk just a little bit about what kind of support you offer for mamas and then let us know how we can connect with you.

[00:33:41] Yeah,

[00:33:41] Laura: so I do one-on-one coaching and then also have some courses and kind of a fan of the one-on-one coaching cause I get to know moms firsthand and it’s really fun to build those relationships and just to be able to talk through them, talk with them through their season of life and really get to help kind of form and.

[00:33:56] Help shape those things, curate those for them. Whereas the courses are a lot of, like, I’m leading you through how you can curate your systems for your life. So those are the things I offer, and I, I, it’s just, it’s my joy to be able to, to be able to bring that gift to people. Like I think we’re so good about investing in things like counselors and doctors and coaches and all these things, but I think that mamas are worth.

[00:34:23] This investment, like I think that we often don’t think that we’re worth having that sense of calm and control in our home. And so it’s fun to be able to kind of give that to Mama and let them know that they are worth it.

[00:34:36] Christine: I love that because I am all about supporting military spouses, helping them live a fulfilling life right where we’re at.

[00:34:45] And a lot of that comes back to our ability to care for ourselves and for our home. And all of that can be traced back to these systems that will really give us that peace of mind that will bring us. Life that will make us feel like we have a life giving home, a place that we can truly rest. And it makes such a difference.

[00:35:08] So thank you for coming on, sharing your wisdom with us today. Oh my goodness.

[00:35:14] Laura: Thank you so much for

[00:35:15] Christine: having me. I hope you took notes because Laura had so many good tangible takeaways for us. If you have struggled to find rhythms that work for you and your family, I would highly encourage you to head over to mama systems.net and take a look at the support that Laura can offer you and your family.

[00:35:36] I will have that linked in the show note. And I really want to reiterate what Laura said at the end of the episode because it’s true that so often we’re willing to spend money on our kids and what they need on coaches and classes and therapists and things that give our kids opportunities and help them grow.

[00:35:58] But we really struggle to invest in things that are going to help us show up as a better spouse, as a better parent, as someone who is able to live from a place of peace and joy rather than a place of exhaustion and overwhelm. But the question is a good one. How do we want to show up for our one precious life?

[00:36:24] Do we want to live and love and lead from a place of exhaustion, frustration, overwhelm, and resentment? Or do we want to show up and live with peace and feel empowered to create systems that work for our family and allow us to finally find the time and space to go after our dreams, to live with purpose and make a difference in the lives of others?

[00:36:56] I would love for you to join the Afterparty happening inside our free Facebook community. Come pop in, share what you are currently struggling with, what systems you found that work for your family, and let’s continue this conversation. I’ll be back here next week for another episode to help us navigate life as military spouses and live with more meaning and less overwhelmed. Until then, may you live filled, fueled. And full of joy.