[00:00:00] Christine: How do we find fulfillment as military spouses? Last week on the MilSpouse Mastermind Show, we talked about how we want to boost our happiness as military spouses, but the more that we make happiness our goal, the more we actually struggle because happiness can only come as a byproduct of a fulfilling.

[00:00:25] And the more we try to get rid of our unpleasant feelings, the more that we struggle with stress, anxiety, and even depression. And the more that we use these control strategies to avoid things and feelings and experiences and emotions that we don’t want to deal with. The more that we will keep ourselves from experiencing a rich and meaningful life.

[00:00:51] So if avoiding unpleasant feelings doesn’t work and trying to make ourselves happier, trying to make happiness, the goal doesn’t work, then what does? What we are really after is creating a rich and meaningful. That is a life that is available to all of us without having to change our external circumstances because that life begins inside of each of us.

[00:01:23] So today we’re going to unpack three keys to finding fulfillment in your life today. How do we build a life We. Well, let’s find out.

[00:02:26] Guys, let me just say thank you. For those of you who have left reviews on Apple Podcasts, this so helps the algorithm and it lets me know how this show is helping you. It helps keep me motivated to show up for you when I know it’s making an impact in your life. And if you want to make. In the lives of others.

[00:02:50] A super simple way to do that is just share about the show and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts because the more reviews there are, The more Apple shows the podcast as recommendation to other military spouses just like you, and the more that we can all find fulfillment and learn to love the life we have today.

[00:03:14] So again, let me just say thank you. If you have left us or view, Also, don’t forget, there is a brand new masterclass for you for free on our. . If you are struggling to love your life as a military spouse, if you want to find your own identity and really figure out how to create a life that fills you up without changing your external circumstances, this is your house Who guide.

[00:03:42] It’s completely free. Just go to milspouse mastermind.com/workshop and you’ll be able to access it. And as always, if you’re looking for additional support, you need some one-on-one accountability and coaching to really craft a life that lights you up, just send an email to milspouse mastermind.com and I will send you all the details about how we can work together.

[00:04:09] Okay. Let’s talk about how to find fulfillment as a military spouse. Now, you know, my goal is for you to be. Thrive to not feel like you need to wait for some future season to love your life, to get the tools you need to own your life and your story, and to make an impact in the world. Because I believe you are more than a meal spouse.

[00:04:36] You have something unique to offer the world, and I want to see you step into your story to do the things that light you up. Because when you do. You trade frustration for fulfillment and isolation for a life of impact. So how do we begin this journey to fulfillment? Last week we talked about this foundation of really accepting our lives and where we are today, accepting that we’re going to have good things and bad things that happen to us.

[00:05:08] Accepting that to be human is to feel the full range of emotions and accepting that we’re going to have these feelings that come and we just need to not fight them, not try to pretend that they don’t exist or to get rid of them, but to make space for them in our lives. We have to accept and embrace where we’re.

[00:05:35] Today we’re going to have to let go of what we thought our lives should look like, but instead choose to say, I have agency. I cannot control my circumstances, but I can control what I do with the life I have. We have agency over our lives and our story. So we’re going to talk about three keys that are really going to help you find fulfillment as a military spouse to build and craft a rich and meaningful and fulfilling life.

[00:06:13] A life that truly lights you up and that you can take with you wherever you. And there’s really three things that I think it’s really important. These are foundational elements. Now we can get into a lot of nuts and bolts of all the pieces that add to this, but I see these three big foundational elements, and the first one is really.

1. Practice Mindfulness

[00:06:40] Developing and cultivating this sense of mindfulness in our lives. It, this is really about learning to be present in the moment, to embrace our life and, and to focus, not on what we can’t control, but, um, on what we. because true change starts with awareness and that involves being aware of ourselves and the world around us and really cultivating this sense of, um, just understanding and being aware of what’s.

[00:07:20] Going on and really choosing to be present in the present moment. So often we spend so much of our time either focused on the past, what we liked about the past, what we didn’t like about the past, or we spend our time focused on the future. Oh, you know, I will have a life. I love when this is true, when my husband returns from deployment, when we’re living in a place that we want to live.

[00:07:45] When. All of these things that are outside of our control. The only thing that we can control, the only action that we control is what we do in the present. We cannot control the past. We cannot control the future. All action that truly matters takes place in the present. And so we have to be able to live in the present and.

[00:08:12] Experience and adopt this attitude of just joy, enjoying the present moment, and really choosing this mindset of gratitude. Now I will link in the show notes below an episode. I did it, it’s been a while now, but I talked about the five-minute habit that truly transformed my life, and it’s really this sense of gratitude and starting every morning by listing three things that I am grateful for.

[00:08:44] That is the way that I begin my day and doing that over a period of. Has truly transformed the way that I look at life, um, and I am so much more able to just be in the present moment and to find things, even when I am feeling frustrated, when I am feeling overwhelmed, because all of those things are true.

[00:09:06] All of those feelings still happen because bad things still happen. Frustrating things still happen. I am still living this military spouse life. I am still having things that I don’t like that happen to me, and I still experience those same exact feelings that you do. But I have been able to spend so much more of my time connecting with the present moment, being grateful for what the good things that are in my life, and even when it feels like life is falling apart sometimes I just have to go and really connect with what can I appreciate in this moment?

[00:09:49] What is good about this situation? A lot of times for me, one of the things that helps me the most that I have learned and developed over the last several years is just. Experiencing the beauty of the world around me when I can go outside into nature and I can smell the breeze, when I can smell the flowers, when I can feel the breeze on my skin, when I can look at the colors around me, and I’m reminded of the beauty.

[00:10:23] All around me. It puts me in the space of gratitude and being in the present moment, and that is where change is able to take place. So mindfulness is really cultivating this sense of awareness of ourselves and the world around us. And so if we can start to do a gratitude practice, if we can start to find the things that we can appreciate, that we can find beauty that is good in our lives.

[00:10:54] This is going to begin the process of how we transform our mind and the way that we think about life because change happens. Actions that we can take happen in the present. This is where we find true joy, true contentment, true peace in the midst of a crazy life. There is something that you can appreciate about where you are today, even if you don’t love the fact that your spouse is deployed right now, or that you are far from family or friends or whatever the situation is in your life that you are not enjoying at the moment.

[00:11:34] There is something that you can find to. Excited about to find joy in, in the present moment. And so the more that we can continue of connect with that feeling of finding joy in the present, the more that we are going to actually love our lives. So that foundational element to finding fulfillment is really practicing mindfulness and finding joy in the present and being able to connect that.

2. Get Clarity on Who You Want to Be

[00:12:05] The second foundational key element to really finding fulfillment is getting clarity on who we want to be. Another episode that is way far back in the archives now. I’ll link it below in the show notes, but this was one of the very first episodes that I did, and I talked about my journey to finding fulfillment and what happened.

[00:12:30] The big transformation for me was when I took the question that I had been asking. What do I do? What is the activity that I should do to find fulfillment? And I changed the question to who do I want to be and how can I begin to show up as that person Today, it’s not about what we do, it’s about who we become in the process and when we are so focused.

[00:13:02] The job that we have, finding our identity and anything else other than who we are at our core, we will not find fulfillment. So the more that we can focus, we can get that clarity on who we are and who we want to become. That is the foundation because that is going to give us the direction for how we live our lives, and one of the easiest places to start is just by getting clear on what your core values are.

[00:13:34] That’s why I have the free worksheet available for you to download or on our website if you just go to milspouse mastermind.com/values. You’ll find that worksheet there, Download that, answer all the questions, and you’ll begin to see these common themes emerge, and that gives you a sense of what’s most important to you.

[00:13:58] And then just ask the question, who do I want to be? How do I want to show up? What do I want people to say about me? And the more that we focus our lives around showing up as the person that we want to be, the more that we will find fulfillment in our lives, and the more that we can focus. What truly matters.

[00:14:23] And the second piece that we really have to get clarity on to truly live a fulfilling life is focusing on who you want to serve and how you want to serve them. I say so often that fulfillment comes from contributing to something outside of ourselves. So who you become, how you show up is not. For yourself.

[00:14:46] What you do is not just for yourself, because when the end goal is ourself, we won’t find fulfillment. But you will find story after story after story of people that were very successful in their lives, in their careers. But they didn’t feel that sense of success and fulfillment until it became about how they helped others do that same thing.

[00:15:14] It’s really about not just making ourselves succeed in life, but how we help others succeed in life, and that is where true fulfillment is. So we start with clarity on who we want to become and how we want to show up, and then we get that clarity on who we want to serve and how we can help them. and those are foundational elements.

3. Take Action

[00:15:38] That clarity piece is so important, but that leads us to the third key. We need to find a fulfilling life, and that is to take action in the right direction because we can get all of the clarity in the world. We can do all of the research, we can do all of the studies, we can take all of the quizzes, we can learn so much about how we want to show.

[00:16:03] But it only matters if we put it into practice. It’s not a theoretical thing. It’s something that we actually have to live out with our lives, and it’s not about doing some big thing. We don’t have to wait for some future season to really start this whole big dream that we have on our. It’s really about how we live our lives day in and day out, The actions we take on a daily basis that truly determine our behaviors, our attitudes, and how we live our life.

[00:16:41] So if we want to live a fulfilling life as a military spouse, we begin by practicing mindfulness with showing up and finding what we’re grateful for. Being connected to the present moment, we find fulfillment. When we get the clarity, we take that time to understand how we want to show up, who we want to become, and who we want to.

[00:17:07] But then we start living that out in our everyday life and asking the question, How can I show up today? How can I pursue purpose today? How can I show up as the person that I want to be today? And it’s these tiny tweaks. These small steps that lead us to major moves in the future that lead us to truly live a life that both lights us up and impacts others’ lives.

[00:17:38] It impacts the world for good. When you use your uniqueness to serve others, you will find fulfill. You will find what you are truly looking for and you will make a difference in the lives of others. And all of that is possible without a change in your external circumstances. You can be in the place you are today.

[00:18:05] You can get clarity today. You can go choose to download the values worksheet and start to get. Start to get started, you can start to think about who you want to become. You can ask those questions. You can choose to start a five-minute gratitude practice. You can choose to go outside and look for beauty all around you, and you can choose to make today matter if you want to live a fulfilling.

[00:18:37] As a military spouse, it is absolutely possible and it can become a reality in your own life. I am over here. I am cheering you on. I truly, truly believe that you are more than a meal spouse. You have something unique to offer the world, and it’s time for you to step into your story and in the process, find what you are truly searching for and make a.

[00:19:04] In the world around you, it’s not about having a big block of time. Having the perfect season or circumstances or anything else. It’s about how we show up and live our lives today. All right, friends. Have an amazing week. If you need support, don’t forget, I am here for one on one coaching. If you just email hello@milspousemastermind.com, you can go download the free masterclass on how to find your own identity as a military spouse and I will see you back here next week on the show. Until then, may you live filled, fueled, and full of joy.