[00:00:00] Christine: Oh, my goodness. You guys, we made it. We’re here. Welcome to the 100th episode of the milspouse mastermind show. I cannot believe it when I first had this idea of starting a podcast in the summer of 2020. And when I first actually launched the podcast out into the world in the spring of 2021, 100 episodes seemed like such a big number.

[00:00:28] It seemed. So far away, and yet here we are. And I’m so excited to share this episode with you because you are the reason that we’re here. You are the reason that I keep showing up week after week after week, because I know that you are more than a mill. And I have this vision for seeing more military spouses, get unstuck and step into their purpose, into their story, into a life, with purpose, to do the amazing things on their heart and impact the world for good.

[00:01:10] I know that so many of us struggle with putting our dreams on the back burn. And then what we wind up doing everything for everyone else. And yet we feel these feelings of frustration of unfulfillment, of not loving our life. We feel this low-grade sense of anxiety. And sometimes we don’t even know what’s bothering us or how to figure out what the problem is.

[00:01:40] We can’t place our finger on it and we’re not exactly sure what needs to change and really that’s what I want to shine a light on today. They want us to have a conversation about dreaming big as a military spouse. So what do you say let’s dive into the show.

[00:02:55] Now, if you are new to the milspouse mastermind community, I am so excited to welcome you. To have you be a part of this community. We are here to support each other on our journeys as military spouses and do the things that are on our heart. So if you have felt frustrated, if you have felt alone, if you have felt like you’re not connected in, in a healthy.

[00:03:21] Military spouse community. I want to invite you to come join us inside our free Facebook community. It’s a place where we support each other, have conversations, just dig in a little deeper to what’s going on in our lives and how we can craft lives. With purpose. You can jump inside just by going. Milspouse mastermind.com/community.

[00:03:48] We would love to have you in there. Come introduce yourself and just be a part of our community of amazing military spouses. I am the host of the milspouse mastermind show. I am Christine. If you go back to the very early episodes, you can hear. More about my story and my journey of feeling frustrated as a military spouse of wanting to find my own thing, to find purpose, to want to build a career, to use my skills, to impact the world for good, but struggling with.

[00:04:27] Having babies at home and not being able to find childcare and trying to figure out how do I do this when I don’t want to live stretched too thin when I was working full time and trying to manage the home in the babies and having a spouse who was gone a lot and working long hours and just feeling like this isn’t the life I wanted and wanting something different.

[00:04:52] A sustainable way to prioritize the needs of my family and pursue purpose to feel like I have something to offer the world and that I’m showing up in a way and making a contribution that matters. And that journey is what led me. To podcasting and to knowing that I was not alone in the search and wanting the same thing for military spouses and knowing that this is a place where we can have these real conversations about the struggle and what to do about it.

[00:05:27] And so that’s what I try to do each week. We talk about a topic of something that we struggle with as military spouses and give you practical strategies for what we can do to move forward, despite the obstacles in the way. And so, as I was thinking about approaching this big milestone of a hundred episodes and what we would needed to talk about and how.

[00:05:52] We could have this conversation thinking about all that I’ve learned in the last 18 months of podcasting and what I want you to take away from my journey. And it’s really this concept of learning how to dream big as a military spot. So what we’re actually gonna do is this is going to be a two part episode today.

[00:06:16] We are going to talk about the. Pathway to dreaming big as a military spouse. And then, um, the next part, two of this series, which will release in a couple of days, this will be about obstacles to dreaming big. And these two big dream killers. I see come into play so often, and I think it’s really important for us to have a conversation about these dream killers.

[00:06:44] So today we’re gonna talk about how to dream. And then part two, we’ll talk about two big dream killers that get in the way of pursuing our dreams. Before we dive into dreaming big. I just have one favor to ask of you. And that is if you will share this show with someone in your life, because if you are listening to this podcast, you are probably a military spouse, or you are connected to the military community in some way.

[00:07:16] And you know, someone that needs. This information that needs that encouragement, that there is more to life that they don’t have to simply exist as a military spouse that it’s not about waiting until some future season to chase the dreams, to build a life you love, but it is possible today to move forward to.

[00:07:42] Build a life you love to find fulfillment and meaning, and really step into a life with purpose. Yes. Even if you have young children at home, even if you’re nursing a newborn, even if life feels crazy and that doesn’t seem like there’s a way to do all the things you wanna do. It is possible. Now it may not look the way that you want it to look.

[00:08:10] It may not be the thing that you thought you wanted, but you can craft a life with purpose. And if you’re listening to this and you’ve been listening for a while, you probably know that, but there’s somebody in your life that needs to hear it. So the best thing, the way that you can support this show is by letting other military spouses know about this podcast.

[00:08:33] Easiest ways to do it are share it in your social media feeds in your stories, or simply by leaving us a review on iTunes. That is what helps the algorithm. And it would mean the world to me, I read every single one of those reviews. It helps me know what is impacting you the most, what you love and what you want to hear from us more in the future.

[00:08:57] So thank you For those of you who have left reviews, that is huge. I would love it. If you would help us celebrate the 100th episode of this show by leaving a review. All right. So I started thinking about a hundred episodes. What are my big takeaways? What have I learned that I want to have a conversation with you about?

[00:09:23] And I was thinking about some of the challenges to dreaming big as military spouses, and I find these two problems keep coming to the surface. Either we’ve forgotten how to dream. We’ve let all of the circumstances of life take over and we’ve forgotten what we really wanted. We’ve forgotten to connect with ourselves.

[00:09:49] We, we don’t really even know what we want anymore, or what’s possible. Or the second problem is we know what we think we want, but we don’t know how to make that thing a reality. And so regardless of what’s causing the obstacle, Wes. Feel stuck and, and unless we take action, we are going to stay stuck. We end up doing nothing.

[00:10:21] Or sometimes we settle for random side hustles, for the throw spaghetti at the wall approach, trying to figure out what needs to change, because we don’t know what to do about it. We just don’t like the way that we. Or we go chase a career, but then we feel pulled in all directions or we wind up in a job that we don’t particularly care for, but it’s something that we think we need that will give us the answers that we need that will help us get unstuck.

[00:10:57] And when, when you boil all of that down, it comes down to us needing to embrace three things. Number one that we have something to offer the world. Let me say that again. You have something to offer the world. You me, all of us. Sometimes we think that’s only for the gifted few or that some people have something to offer the world and the rest of us just exist, but that’s not.

[00:11:34] You have something to offer the world, whether you know what that thing is, or not just sit with the fact that you have something to offer the world, you have to choose to believe in that. But it is a fact. The second fact we need to embrace is that when we don’t live as our authentic selves, when we don’t do the things that light our heart on fire, our gifts, atrophy and the world misses out. When you are not stepping into your story, when you are not using your gifts, your gifts atrophy, and the world misses out.

[00:12:20] And I don’t know about you, but I don’t want the world to miss out on what you have to offer. I know it’s so easy to put yourself. At the back to put your dreams on the back burner to say what my spouse is doing is more important. What my kids are doing are more important. They can grow up and they can change the world.

[00:12:42] And I’m just here to make all of that happen. But I want you to just take a moment to believe that when you don’t step into your story, the world misses out because you have something to offer the world. The third thing that I want you to embrace is that your dream may not turn out the way it looked in your mind, but what matters.

[00:13:14] Is if you chose courage over comfort and you chose to step into a life of purpose, did you choose to reclaim your life and dreams or did you choose to let life happen? We all have a choice and what matters is not the outcome, what matters is not achieving the goal or the dream we set for ourself. What truly matters is whether we chose courage over comfort, whether we chose to step into our.

[00:13:56] And I totally get that. This is much easier said than done, and it can be confusing and overwhelming, but that’s exactly why this podcast exists, why I exist and what I’m passionate about helping military spouses do. So what I wanna take you through in the next few minutes together is the 10 steps it takes to dream.

[00:14:21] As a military spouse. And we’re just gonna go through these quickly because I just wanna give you this overview of what it actually looks like to dream big in a way that is doable for you, regardless of the way that your life looks today. The first step is just believing in what’s possible. You don’t have to understand how to do the thing.

[00:14:48] You don’t have to understand what the thing is. You just have to believe that dreaming big is possible that doing something with your life, that finding fulfillment, that making a contribution as a military spouse is. Because if you don’t believe that something different is possible, you’re never going to make a change.

[00:15:14] So number one is believing that it’s possible. Number two is choosing to step into your story. This is not just believing that it’s possible, but saying I’m going to choose. Courage over comfort. I’m going to choose the path of not letting my life stay the way that it looks today to know that something feels off and I’m going to make a change.

[00:15:41] I’m not going to just sit here in a place of discomfort. We can sit here all day and we can have conversations about why it’s not easy or the obstacles that will come in our way or why something won’t work or why we’re not qualified to do the thing. But it’s really a choice to say, do I want to stay.

[00:16:09] Or am I ready to make a change, regardless of whether I get the outcome that I’m looking for or not. Am I going to choose to step into my story? The third piece of this is simply learning to embrace the life we have today. Sometimes that means laying down long time dreams, dreams that may not be true for our life anymore, or that might just need to change a little bit.

[00:16:41] But if we. Wanting our life to look different. We’re going to stay stuck and we have to make the choice and take the time to embrace and accept the life we had today. Before we can move forward, we’re going to stay stuck in the past and we’re going to not be able to dream big and take action on those.

[00:17:08] If we keep waiting for something to look different. If we keep wishing for the life we used to have, or the life we wanted, we have to embrace the life we have today. And I get that that is sometimes much easier said than done. and that it is definitely a process, something that it takes time and that we go back to over and over again, I can embrace the life I have and then I, something else happens and I get frustrated and it’s a process that I continually have to go through, but it’s really when I can embrace the life that I have, that I can step into the possibilities for the.

[00:17:52] When I first married my husband and became a military wife, I had all of these career dreams and aspirations, and I had specific things I wanted in my life and things that I didn’t want in my life. Like I didn’t want to have to give up my job because of a PCS, which I absolutely had to do. I did not want to get.

[00:18:16] To a small town in the middle of nowhere, which absolutely happened. I did not want to end up in a place where I could not find childcare and I could not find great opportunities for work that gave me the flexibility that I needed. All of those things. Happened. And I continue to say, what does my look life look like today?

[00:18:42] How can I make the most of what I have. Rather than wishing that something would change, that is completely outside of my control. So once we’ve done this foundational work to believe in, what’s possible to choose to step into your story and to embrace the life, have to date. Then we are ready to move into step four.

[00:19:14] Start. Who, and this comes from the book. Find your why by Simon Sinek and Sinek really talks about purpose as these. Layers of a circle with the outer circle, being the, what you do and the middle circle being how you do things and the core of the circle being, why you do what you do. And, and so he really talks about starting from that place of why, but I like to take it an even.

[00:19:50] Level further when it comes to pursuing your purpose, it’s really starting with the who, understanding yourself. Who are you? What do you want and who do you want? To be, you have to get clear on what it is that lights you up. What are your skills? What are you drawn to and who do you want to become with your life?

[00:20:17] It’s not just about what you’re good at. You could have the most amazing. Math skills on the planet. But if that doesn’t light you up, then it’s probably not something that you should be doing with your life. You want to find something that makes a difference in the lives of others, but that aligns with the core of who you are and what lights you up inside.

[00:20:43] And so the. Starting point once we’ve kind of gotten this foundational mindset component is understanding who you are. Start with, who. And then number five, find your why. This is really about figuring out who you want to serve and how you want to serve them and getting clear on what are the things that you care about the causes that you care about, uh, the way that you want to have an impact in the lives of others, because.

[00:21:16] As I say so often fulfillment comes from contributing to something outside of ourself. If we are just focused on what makes us happy, we are not going to find fulfillment, but really when we can use our skills in service of others, that is where we find purpose. And that is where we ultimately find that fulfillment that we’re looking for.

[00:21:42] So the second part of this is finding your why. And then I talk about this is where we really start to dream. Step six is when we can dream big and create a vision for our life. So many times as a kid, somebody will come up to you and say, what do you wanna be when you grow up? But it’s really focused on what are you going to do to make money when you’re.

[00:22:11] An adult. And really that’s the wrong question and something that is ingrained in me because it’s been asked so many times over the course of my life, but really that’s only one aspect of our life. There are so many different domains of our life that really lead us to the type of. We want to have and who we want to be in every area of our lives.

[00:22:37] And it’s really taking this holistic approach to life and creating a vision for our future and, and saying, okay, what is it that I really want my life to look and feel like? And then once we have all of those pieces together, then we can start to explore different opportu. And that’s step number seven.

[00:23:03] We start to take all of these pieces that we’ve come up with now that we understand. What our skills are, what makes us take, who we want to be, what our core values are, who we want to serve, how we want to serve them, what we want our life to look like. Then we start looking at how do those pieces connect and come together.

[00:23:26] And at the center of that is what I call our sweet spot. These are all the ways, all of the opportunities for us. To do something that aligns with our passions that aligns with our purpose, that allows us to use our gifts, to serve others in a way that makes a difference and lights us up. This is the process that we go through together.

[00:23:53] In the milspouse spouse purpose playbook. If you are not familiar with this course, this is my signature course. That helps take you from frustrated and unfulfilled to living a life with purpose, to reclaiming your life and dreams and helping you have a path to living with purpose, to crafting a life with purpose as a military.

[00:24:20] And what happens inside of there is you have videos to watch and you have a whole workbook to go through and it starts with some of these mindset blockers. We help you identify those mindset blockers and what beliefs you need to adopt. And then you have a series of exercises to go through to get clear on.

[00:24:42] Who you are, what lights you up, what your values are, what matters to you? Who you want to be, what difference you want to make in the world? We unpack your sweet spot together and help you clarify what your purpose is. You’ll build your own personal purpose statement to give you clarity on your next steps and figure out what the options are for you.

[00:25:11] What can. Do today in the life that you have in the schedule that you have to move towards purpose today. And when we talk through about how you come up with what your options are, how you make that exploration and then set a direction that you want to go in. It’s basically this process of dreaming big.

[00:25:35] So now we are on what are, what do we do? Step seven. Okay. Step one. Believe in what’s possible. Step two. Choose to step into your story. Step three, embrace the life you have today. Step four, start with who step five. Find your why. Step six, dream big step seven, explore opportunities. Step eight, make a plan.

[00:26:02] Now that we’ve looked at what the possibilities, what the options we have. Our personal purpose statement, then we need to make a plan. We’re creating our action plan of what we’re actually going to do to move towards our dream, to move towards a life, with purpose. And then once we put together that plan, we actually have to carve out time in our schedule.

[00:26:28] So that’s step number nine is to carve out time in your, your schedule, because if you do not carve out the. It will not happen. Life is just always crazy busy. And I keep waiting for this season of life where it feels like there’s more time, there’s more space. And it seems like as soon as something comes off my plate, there’s just something else that comes on to replace it.

[00:26:54] And nothing really happens unless I make it a priority. And yes, some seasons are a little less crazy than others, but really it comes down to in each and every season. What we prioritize on our schedule is what’s actually going to happen. If you do not prioritize working out in your schedule, that’s not going to happen.

[00:27:17] If you do not prioritize. Pursuing your dream pursuing your purpose. It’s not going to happen. So if you have a dream on your heart, you have to actually carve out time in your schedule. And then step number 10 is to take action because here’s the thing we can dream big all day and we can have all of these great plans and we can put together it.

[00:27:44] We can even create time in our schedule, but unless we take action. That’s all it stays is a dream. And so many people dream big dreams, but never take action. And the people who really have the life full of fulfillment and meaning, and purpose are people that didn’t just stay there and. They didn’t just stay stuck where they are.

[00:28:13] They took action, even when it wasn’t simple, even when it wasn’t easy, even when it was messy, even if it meant failing forward, they took action anyways. That’s exactly what this journey has been for me with starting this podcast. It started from me believing that it was possible that there was a way that I could use my skills and my experience to serve others in a way.

[00:28:44] That lit me up and that made a difference. It was choosing to say, I’m not going to stay stuck to take the easy route. I’m gonna step into my story and living a life with purpose. Even if I don’t know what that’s supposed to look like, I just know that something needs to change and I’m willing to make a change, even if it’s uncomfortable.

[00:29:13] Then it was about embracing the life that I had looking at the fact that when I first started blogging before this became a podcast, I had a newborn at home. I had a one year old, I had a three year old. I had a part-time job. I had a husband who was working crazy long hours and yet. That dream on my heart.

[00:29:35] When I chose to embrace, this is the circumstance of my life today. What do I feel that call that tug on my heart? What. Is my next step and that was starting a blog. And so it, it started when I embraced the life that I had not waiting till some future season or wishing that my life looked different, but saying, this is what it is, and this is what I can do right now in this season to pursue purpose, to step into my.

[00:30:14] Then it was this journey of discovery, figuring out who I am, what lights me up, what my core values are, who I want to be, who I want to serve, what causes I care about, what problem I want to help solve, starting with who and finding my why, and then figuring out what do I want my life to look like? What do I care about?

[00:30:41] How do I want to show up for my husband and for my kids? And how do I want to craft that life? How, how many hours am I willing to put in the work and how do I still prioritize? I want to be present when my kids are home. From the school and how do I make all of these pieces that are important to me, into crafting a whole life with purpose and taking care of all of these elements, the domains of my life, not just pursuing purpose, but really pursuing a life that is filled.

[00:31:16] Fueled and full of joy. And you can go back and listen to there’s several episodes on the podcast that talk about the growth wheel and how it is a framework for how we approach all of our life and for finding balance and for prioritizing all of these different areas, these domains of our life, because that is what makes a whole integrated fulfill.

[00:31:40] Life, but for the purposes of this podcast and for dreaming big, we want to create a vision for our whole life. And so that was the questions that I went through to say, what. Does that look like in this season and how much time do I want to put to this and what are the activities that I want to be involved in or to say no to in this season so that I am prioritizing the things that truly matter to me.

[00:32:13] And honestly that meant say no to things that I really do enjoy and really do care about. I’ve been on the boards of different organizations and I knew for this season, For starting the podcast that I couldn’t do that anymore, that I needed to take a step back to step behind the scenes to not say yes to as many commitments.

[00:32:36] And that was really hard for me because I love being involved and I have a history of overcom committing to things and. It was a big deal for me to not join all the things and try to meet all the people and jump inside. And I learned that it’s really hard to make relationships as quickly when you’re not doing all the things, but then I’m less likely to get overwhelmed by all the.

[00:33:07] And, um, so it’s still trying to find that balance of yes. I want to meet people. Yes. I want to build relationships, but how do I do that in a way that is sustainable long term? And so, you know, being able to say no in the short term to building the long term thing that I care about, that aligns with my purpose and my vision and what we want for our lives as a.

[00:33:38] Then exploring the different opportunities. So it’s one thing to just say, okay, this is what I want my life to look and feel like, and this is what my sweet spot is. Okay. What options are available to me right now? And so in my own life, it was looking at all of these different opportunities. What was available to me?

[00:33:59] What. What I really cared about and then saying, okay, what does the best option for me look like in the season to do the things that matter most that align with who I am, and that allow me to make an impact in the lives of others. And so for me, choosing. To be start. This podcast was a way for me to say, okay, in this season, this is what my options are.

[00:34:29] I think this is the best opportunity then I had to create my plan. So it moved slowly because when I first had the idea, we were in the middle of a PCs and then we. Um, overseas trying to get settled. COVID we had virtual school, we had, um, no family support, um, and it took a long time to build those foundational components that gave me the time and space to actually put out.

[00:35:01] That podcast to learn how to create a podcast, to learn how to edit it, to learn how to create the content, to upload the episodes, all of the pieces of actually executing on the idea. It took time to learn. And when I had littles at home and you know, a crazy life, it just, you know, some people can have this idea and a month later they’ve launched the podcast.

[00:35:31] For me, it took about nine months from the initial idea to actually making that dream a reality. And so this is what we’re gonna talk about in part two of dream killers, spoiler alert, um, it’s easy to start looking around at what other people are doing and start feeling like, okay, like, Should I really be doing this, look at how hard this is for me to do the things, but really it was just putting my head down, making my plan, then carving out time on my schedule each week to work towards that goal to say, okay, how much time can I devote this week?

[00:36:14] What am I gonna do during that time? And then taking action. So those were the steps that I took to launch the podcast. Those are the steps that I’ve taken since launching the podcast to say, okay, am I still in alignment with who I am and what causes I care about and who I want to. To become, does this still align with the vision of what I’m creating?

[00:36:40] What I want our life to look and feel like? Is this still the right opportunity for me? Um, and am I still carving out that time, making that plan and taking action? So this last part of it doesn’t really. go anywhere once we you’ve, you know, executed on that dream, because it’s still about seeing whether you’re still in alignment.

[00:37:08] Um, still making that plan. Carving out the time and then executing on that plan. And that really leads you to not just dream big, but to live big, to live a life with purpose, to really get unstuck and craft a life with purpose as a military spouse. So I know this episode has gone a little bit longer than I like episodes to go, because I like to give you a couple of quick action tips and get you on your way.

[00:37:40] Um, but I felt like it was important to write down this process for you because as we are here celebrating a hundred episodes, I want you to be able to dream big. I don’t want you to stay stuck, feeling like you need to wait for some future season because we, regardless of where you are and how busy you are, there is something that you can do today to move closer towards living with purpose.

[00:38:10] Sometimes it’s just a season of getting more clarity of learning and growing and understanding more about yourself and what lights you up. And sometimes it’s a season of taking small steps, these tiny tweaks. Things that don’t feel really big, but that are slowly moving you in the right direction. And sometimes it’s a season of taking really big leaps of faith.

[00:38:37] And so what I want you to walk away with today is this understanding that it is possible for you to dream big as a military spouse. And I want to help you do that this week. Because we are celebrating 100 episodes of the mill spouse mastermind show mill spouse. Purpose playbook is a hundred dollars off.

[00:38:59] If you purchase by Friday evening, you can do that when you go to more than a mill spouse.com, and that will give you more details about the course and how you can get started today. I would love to have you jump inside and get all of the goodness and start crafting. With purpose today. Now, if you are not ready to invest the time and energy into really crafting a life with purpose today, I also want to let you know that next week on the.

[00:39:33] September 20th, that Tuesday I’m gonna be going live in our Facebook community to do a free training. This is another way that I decided like, okay, how can I give back as we celebrate this 100 episodes of this show? And so today or this week, you have a hundred dollars off the milspouse purpose playbook.

[00:39:57] Next week, I’m going to do a free training. Inside of our community about dealing with stress and anxiety as military spouses, because I know so many of us live in this place of frustration and overwhelm and stress and anxiety. And what do we do with that? So I wanna give you some practical tools that you can use to move from feeling frustrated.

[00:40:25] Two moving towards a life of peace and purpose. And so we’re gonna talk about that in the free life training next week, I will, um, in the show notes, I’ll tell you the exact time and give you the link so you can join us. Please invite a friend. Um, I will have some promotions going. To let you share about that free training, but I want you to know that that is also available to you, um, or just go to more than a mill spouse.com.

[00:40:57] If you were in that place where you know that you feel stuck, you want to be able to dream big and to craft a life with purpose. When you’re ready to stop feeling frustrated. And unfulfilled today that $100 off is good through Friday night. So I hope you will take the time to head over there. Learn more about the course and see if now is the time for you to jump inside.

[00:41:24] I know I’ve rambled on a lot today. I hope that this has blessed you. I will be. In your earbuds in just a couple days with part two of this celebration, where we talk about these two big dream killers and what to do about them, because I want you to dream big and I want you to take action and I’m here to support you in help you in any way that I can.

[00:41:50] I hope you have an amazing week friends. Thank you for being a part of this community until next. May you live filled, fueled, and full of joy.

[00:42:05] Hey friend, before you go, the mill spouse mastermind community is here to help you thrive as a military spouse. Figure out what lights your heart on fire and equip you to create a life. Of impact. You can have an incredible impact simply by heading over to iTunes, to subscribe and leave a review. And if today’s episode was meaningful to you, I know it will be for others too.

[00:42:29] Spread the word by taking a screenshot of this episode and share it to your stories so we can continue to reach more people change more lives and shift the way that military spouses look at life because we are better together and together we can change the world. Let’s do it.