[00:00:00] Christine: Hey friends. Do you feel like something is holding you back? You know, this isn’t the life you wanted, but you feel stuck unsure of how to move forward. What’s really holding you back. That’s the topic of this week’s episode. I talk with Kute Blackson a transformational teacher speaker, and the best-selling author of you are the one and the magic of surrender.

[00:00:26] He walks us through three questions to ask when we feel stuck and unsure of our purpose. And he talks us through how to take action. Despite the fear we feel, if you are ready to stop feeling frustrated. Stuck and confused about your. This episode is for you.

Are you participating in our 30 day clarity challenge? Each day this month, I am posting a question prompt in our free Facebook community to help you gain greater self-awareness about who you are and what you really want in life. The first step to getting unstuck, as we’ll talk about in just a few minutes is getting this self awareness.

[00:02:02] And my goal this month is to help you do just that. So if you are not already a part of our free milspouse mastermind community. If you are ready to find a tribe of other military spouses who are tired of feeling frustrated by military life who are ready to take back control of their life to reclaim their life and dreams there, that community is waiting for you.

[00:02:31] Just go to Milspouse mastermind.com/community. Or look for us in your Facebook group search bar. We can’t wait to have you join us now. A note before we get started today, we had a few technical difficulties with this recording. Not only was I on the floor of my closet and having a couple of wifi issues, the movers showed up at the exact same time.

[00:02:58] So I apologize for that. And if you can hear any of the doors shutting in the background, but. This is military life. And this is what this looks like to move forward, despite the obstacles that get in the way. So I hope that you can give this recording some grace, because there’s so much value to what Kute says and what he brings to us.

[00:03:20] In fact, I would recommend grabbing a pen and some paper if you aren’t driving right now, because this is probably an episode that you’re going to. To listen to again and again, Kute’s story is amazing and he has so many valuable insights to share with us about discovering what’s really holding us back and how we move forward.

[00:03:42] Despite the fear we feel. So let’s go ahead and dive into my conversation with Kute Blackson. Well, welcome back to the show. I am so honored to have Kute Blackson on the show with us today. He is the host of soul talk with Kute Blackson. Welcome to the show.

[00:04:00] Kute: Thank you for having me.

[00:04:02] Christine: Well, I would love first just to hear a little bit about your story and what led you to do what you do today.

[00:04:10] Kute: Wow. Um, let’s see. I’ve always been fascinated with human beings. And so look, I was born in Ghana, west Africa. My father’s from Ghana, my mother’s Japanese. I grew up in London. I now live in the us. So I feel like I’m a citizen of the world. And from a very young age, uh, I always felt people’s pain and, and, and there was a deep part of me that wanted to alleviate people’s suffering in some way.

[00:04:37] And so, uh, as a young boy, Uh, one of my first memories, I grew up in a very, let’s say mystical spiritual environment. And as a young boy, there was always a part of me that not only felt this calling to help people and alleviate suffering, but I grew up in this, this sort of unusual environment. Uh, it didn’t seem that strange to me, but for instance, um, one of my first memories was seeing.

[00:05:04] CRI a woman falling on the floor. She picks up the sand that this man walks on wipes on her face and stands up. And so week after week, I would see blind people see and deaf people here and people stand up out of wheelchairs. And, uh, the same man who said she picked up would look at a woman in the wheelchairs.

[00:05:21] They stand up, you’re not sick. And so this was my father and my father built, uh, was considered the miracle man of Africa. Uh, he built 300 churches in Ghana, west. A huge church in London about four to three to 4,000 people every Sunday. And so even though it was a sort of mystical environment, spiritual environment, uh, I didn’t think anything that unusual of it for me, miracles and, and, and, and, and the sort seemed very normal, seemed very common, seemed just like my normal everyday existence.

[00:05:55] And so one of the blessings was, I. Really didn’t have a sense of limitation. Uh, I grew up with a sense that everything was possible, which I think was a huge blessing. And so when I was age eight, uh, uh, my speaking career began in that my father just once, one Sunday, invited me or threw me on stage and said speak.

[00:06:15] And that began my speaking career. And at age 14, I was ordained as a minister, given the mandate to take care, my father’s spiritual or organization and legacy. And that. That as, as impactful of that moment was I knew that that wasn’t my path. I knew that wasn’t my destiny. I knew that wasn’t my, my soul’s journey, my purpose.

[00:06:38] And I was too afraid to speak my truth. My fear was if I spoke my truth, if I told my father how I felt, if I said no, that I would lose his love, that I would be outcast, that I would be alone, that I would be abandoned. And so. I said nothing and went along with it. And I think like many of us, we allow fear to hijack us.

[00:06:59] We allow fear to limit us. We allow fear to stop us from being and expressing who and what we really are. And the fear of if, if you really know who I am, you won’t love me. And, and so I think fear limits many of us. And so for me, For, for the next four years, I got ordained the next four years. I began serving my father’s community all with the while of knowing that something wasn’t aligned and something wasn’t true and something wasn’t authentic.

[00:07:25] And so took me about four years to must up the courage, to have the conversation with my father. And my, my entire life was set out for me. I looked into my future at age 18, and I knew that I had to make a decision. I felt this calling to come to America. I felt this calling to come to Los Angeles. All of the, I started reading self-help books from a very young age because of my father’s books.

[00:07:50] Bookshelf were literally thousands of spiritual and personal development. Self-help books, everyone from Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson, and Louis H and the mystics. And so I at, at, at around 17, 18 years old, I felt this deep calling to come to the us and go. This field of personal development, spirituality and self-help, and I want, and this was how I wanted to impact lives.

[00:08:13] And so my soul was calling me one direction and I felt this, this conflict because, uh, all of these expectations were pulling me in another direction. And as I looked into my future, I projected into age 20 age, 30 age, 40 age, 50 age, 60. And as I projected into my future, I saw that I could be successful.

[00:08:35] Society standards. And yet if I didn’t have myself, if I didn’t have my truth, if I didn’t have my soul, if I didn’t have my own authenticity, then what did I have? What do I have if I don’t have myself? And I felt such a pain of self betrayal, I felt such a pain of, of my own sense of soul suicide. If I just went down the most, the, the, the path of least resistance and what was expected of me.

[00:09:02] And so at 18, I left everything. Decided to do what was the scariest thing, which was have the conversation with my father. And, uh, we had the conversation. I was terrified, but I followed my soul. And I really believe that when we follow our souls, when we follow our truth and we don’t compromise our integrity, that we will always end up in the right place, even though the route that we take might not be the most expected.

[00:09:27] And so. Followed my soul and my father and I, we didn’t speak for two years, which was extremely difficult and challenging. And, uh, cut a long story. Short ended up winning a green card, uh, in the green card lottery, which is a thing which was a thing at least then that’s what brought me to the us. Two suitcases, a thousand dollars, maybe $800 in my pocket.

[00:09:48] Uh, one suitcase full of clothes, one suitcase full of self-help books and showed up in Los Angeles following a dream. Following my souls call and, uh, went and found many of the mentors and teachers and authors that I read about studied with some of

[00:10:04] few years later, Spain and.

[00:10:12] Thailands going Israel, Studi bits, rabbis, really on a quest to try to understand myself and understand what is life and what’s the purpose of life and why this human existence and the, of just to up go to work and go vacation. And then like, surely there has to be more. To this experience. So this process called life.

[00:10:33] And so that took quest and India in really was transformative in such a way that broke life,

[00:10:50] transformed my life in a very deep and profound way. And so outta that, uh, I came back to America. And, uh, felt calling to help people and inspired people. And 20 years ago, I began working with people, one on one, and one person came and their lives transformed. Another person came and their lives transformed and just one on one.

[00:11:12] And then it grew small groups and one on five, one on 10, one on 20, and then just kept evolving to larger groups and seminars. And, and now two best seven books. The other. And the magic of surrender. So that’s really the short version. What I, I don’t really, I started off coaching people, but I, I, I really quickly found that I don’t really coach people.

[00:11:32] If anything, I coach people. I un-condition people. I unteach, I untrain people from the patterns of conditioning that prevent us from being most authentically, who we are, the patterns of conditioning that we learn to develop from childhood that inhibit our full and free expression. So I coach people and.

[00:11:51] Processes and experiences that help us peel the layers away and connect with our own authentic self.

[00:11:59] Christine: That’s such an amazing and insightful story. And what, one thing that really stands out to me in, in you telling that story is a talking about that fear that you faced, but the fact that you had such an awareness at such a young age, that this wasn’t the life that you wanted, that there was something.

[00:12:20] Different and that it wasn’t in alignment with how you were created. So can you talk to me about having that feeling that something is off and what was it, do you think that led to really that awareness at a young age?

[00:12:36] Kute: You know, it was, it was when I think back it wasn’t like a conscious thing, but I remember when my father announced.

[00:12:44] To 4,000 people in, who were in the audience life. And then, you know, tens of thousands in his organization at the time in, in Ghana that I was taking over, he didn’t discuss it with me. And so I’ll never being on stage and it being announced and everyone was so happy. And I thought, well, I guess I should be happy and honored and privileged that I’m given this responsibility, but it was just a feeling, you know, it was a feeling that something wasn’t resonating, it was a feeling that something wasn’t quite right.

[00:13:12] It was a feeling that something wasn’t just, just something didn’t quite land in the way I needed it to, and it just felt like a shoe didn’t quite fit and I was trying to justify and rationalize and make it fit. And I think so many of us, we, we deny the subtle sensations. It was a feeling in my body that wasn’t quite right.

[00:13:36] It was an uncom that wasn’t quite right. And so, you know, I think one of the things, and, and for me, what, so what helped me move through, uh, the, the, the. The uncomfortability was, it was the willingness to sit with and acknowledge the pain, the willingness to sit with. And when I projected into my future, it was so painful when I projected into, into my future and felt the self betrayal.

[00:14:02] I realized that if I begin lying to myself now, In order to get love, validation, and approval. Now I’m going to have to spend the rest of my life playing a role, playing a game. I’m going to have to spend the rest of my life, living a life in order to get the love that I started out to try to get in the first place and the pain of my, that.

[00:14:21] That self betrayal was so intense. So deep that it, it, it just, it just hit me. And, and so I think as human beings, if there’s a, if there’s a place people can begin. If there’s a people are wondering, well, where do I start? How do I even start? One of the places that I think as human beings keeps us stuck, keeps us blocked, keeps us limited, keeps us from truly transforming are all the ways that we lie to ourselves.

[00:14:48] As human beings, for reasons we can go deeper into, we we’re constantly lying to ourselves and rationalizing it. We’re constantly, sometimes we’re lying to ourselves and we, we are so conditioned that we don’t even know that we’re lying to ourselves. We think that what we feel is what we feel. We think that who we are is, is, is who we really are.

[00:15:06] And we’re not aware that we’re conditioned and in, in order to function and survive and. I think to truly transform requires truth. There is no transformation without telling yourself the raw, the real, the authentic truth. And yet we, we stay in relationships that we know. Right. We work jobs that we know where we, where we end up compromising our truth or integrity that we know is not the reason for why we put on this planet, but we do outta security, fear, survival.

[00:15:42] And so. Truth is the foundation of transforming one’s life. There is no transformation authentically without telling yourself the real, the rule, the honest truth. So, so the first question we have to be willing to ask ourselves if we’re going to start transforming our reality is number one, what lies am I telling myself?

[00:16:05] What lies am I telling myself? And the more we’re willing to the truth will set us free to me. Truth. Spirituality truth is real spiritual practice. Truth is real yoga. Truth is real meditation. If we started to tell the truth to ourselves raw, real unapologetically compassionately, honestly, authentically.

[00:16:22] If we started to tell the truth to ourselves, so many of the issues and the problems and the challenges that we face will just begin to fall away and dissolve and resolve themselves. We often don’t. And so the first question I would invite people to sit with is what lies am I telling myself? Just simple, straightforward?

[00:16:41] What lies am I telling myself? The thing is we all want to be free, but what we have to realize is that freedom isn’t free. Freedom requires that we let go of what’s no longer aligned. Freedom requires that we release and let go of what’s no longer authentic. We have to, when we, when we ask that question, well, Liz, am I telling myself, we have to be willing.

[00:17:03] We have to want the truth more than we want. What we have. We have to want the truth more than we want what we want. And sometimes we say we want to be free, but really we want our comfort. We want our safety. We we’re trying to preserve ourselves. And the truth is the next level of our life requires the next level of us.

[00:17:19] And the next level of us requires that we release and let go, what is no longer authentic? What’s no longer align. What’s no longer vibrational matched, but often outta fear and self-preservation. We end up holding on. So tightly to who we were so tightly to what we have, even if it’s not bringing us joy and happiness and fulfillment, we hold on out of fear, out of security, out of safety.

[00:17:39] And holding on, what’s no longer aligned, simply blocks. Our blessing simply keeps us stuck and we don’t even realize that we’re blocking our blessing by holding on. And so we have to start with the truth. What lies am I telling myself? And I think one thing that’s also important that we can, uh, preface is.

[00:17:56] If you, if one is willing to, and some, see, sometimes we’re afraid of telling ourselves the truth because we’re afraid of the consequences. And so we end up playing this game of confusion. I’m confused. I don’t really know what my truth is. I don’t really know what I want in life. I don’t really know what my purpose is.

[00:18:10] Confusion is just another smoke screen, because if we’re confused, we don’t have to take action if I’m confused. And I don’t know, I don’t have to own my truth and maybe do something about it. We’re afraid of the consequences for me growing up. My fear was if I really own my. I would have to leave my father’s church and speak to my father, tell him the truth and I lose the relationship forever.

[00:18:30] And that was my fear. And so we often use confusion as a self protective mechanism. And so I would invite people to sit with, well lies. Am I telling myself, but also, what am I pretending to not know? There is a deep part of us as human beings. If we’re really honest, That knows deep down. We know, we know I’ve heard so many clients say to me, I don’t know what my purpose is when, when maybe you don’t know all the details, but there is a sense there was an inkling, there was a nudging, there was a no wing, but the fear is if I really own what my purpose is, I may have to do something about it.

[00:19:03] But if I don’t know, or if I remain in confusion, I can stay in that smoke screen of, of confusion. And I can stay in the safety in the comfort zone. If I stay in the safety and comfort zone, I don’t have to risk. I don’t have to take action. I don’t have to put myself out there. And if I don’t put myself out there, then I can always have the hope of the future fantasy, the possibility of that thing.

[00:19:22] And so I always tell people, take the pressure off of yourself of having to take any action. Take the pressure off of having to take action. When you take the pressure off of yourself having to take action, you don’t have to leave the relationship. You don’t have to leave your job, but just own the truth.

[00:19:38] Maybe if you’re on a job that you hate, just acknowledge. I hate my job. And feel that and just really feel it. Sometimes it’s scary to feel it because the fear is, oh shit, what, what do I need to do? Well, what, what does that mean? Does it mean I have to leave? No, but if you take the pressure off and you just own the truth, or maybe you are in a relationship and you know, it hasn’t been right for years, it’s not in line.

[00:19:58] You’re not in love. I’m no longer in love and just let the truth marinate, let the truth burn inside. That begins a process. And so what lies am I telling myself? What am I pretending to not know? And lastly, we can sit with an honest investigation of what are the lies I’m telling myself, what is it costing me?

[00:20:16] What is it costing me? There is a cost when we lie to ourselves and the cost is pain, mental pain, emotional pain, psychic pain, spiritual pain, physical pain, uh, uh, Ongoing like it will manifest as, as, as a depression, it might manifest as a physical ailment. It might manifest as an ongoing disease. Pain is simply, I believe pain is a blessing.

[00:20:39] I believe pain is a gift. I like to say that pain is simply feedback. Trying to get our attention, showing us where we are. Not in alignment pain is trying to show us something, but in our culture, we’re not taught how to feel the pain. We’re not taught talking about the pain. What we’re taught is to.

[00:20:54] Distract from the pain, deny the pain, suppress the pain, not feel the pain. We drink it away, smoke it away, drug it away, sex it away, social media so that we don’t feel the pain, but that just simply keeps us stuck. And so if we lie to ourselves, it’s meant to be painful. It’s meant to be painful. And so it’s not about whether we feel the pain it’s more about, are we willing to acknowledge the message of this pain and use that pain as feedback?

[00:21:19] To course correct. Use that pain feedback to bring oneself back into alignment and, and so sitting with then, okay. Rather than running with the pain, just sitting with, okay. What, what is the cost? What is the cost of lying to myself and feeling that, feeling the pain of that so that it, it begins a process.

[00:21:37] It begins to burn inside and that burn of the truth starts to, uh, create a process and starts to create some momentum inside of you. Some impetus for change. And so I think where people can begin is the truth where I have to start was the truth. And I think if we start telling ourselves the truth, life will begin to shift and alter radically.

[00:22:02] And that’s what I did when I was in my teams. I didn’t kind of have it framed in the way I’m sharing, but I just began by acknowledging the truth and the truth, which took me years to acknowledge. This is not right. This is not a line. And, and, and because I let myself feel the pain of that misalignment, I knew what I had to do.

[00:22:20] Christine: So was it that you felt the pain so much, that is that what really helped you overcome that fear? Cause so often we know that we don’t love the way things are today. , but we don’t do anything about it. We continue to stay stuck and we are so afraid of what we don’t know that we stay with what we know, even if it’s causing us pain, even if we’re not loving the way that our life looks.

[00:22:47] So do you have tips for really moving past that fear to help us take action?

[00:22:53] Kute: Look, here’s the thing you don’t have to move. I think one of the greatest illusions is that you have to move past the. I was terrified. See that that idea of you have to get rid of the fear. You have to move past the fear. You have to overcome the fear.

[00:23:06] You ha you have to do something about the fear is a sneaky is an ego sneaky way. To actually not move past the fear. It’s it’s another sneaky way to stay exactly where we are. To me, fear is just a fear. Fear is simply energy. Fear is simply energy emotion. It is feedback. There are no good feelings. There are no bad feelings.

[00:23:33] In fact, I would, I would go as far to say this, if you are, if you have a dream and you don’t feel some fear. Then likely your dreams are too. If you don’t feel fear, your dreams are too small. So fear is a part of the process. Fear can be a sign that you are being stretched and expanded outside of your comfort zone into the unknown.

[00:23:59] And so if we can just give up the, the idea that, oh, I have to. Get rid of this and then I’m gonna take action. No, I think we have to learn to breathe into the fear. Fear can be, uh, excitement without breath. So one thing acknowledge the fear. Don’t judge it. See there’s anything wrong. See it as an invitation and an opportunity to expand outside of your comfort zone.

[00:24:18] Tap into a deeper part of yourself that you haven’t necessarily tapped into yet. We’re often afraid. We have to ask ourselves too, in question. What is it? I’m afraid. Sometimes we don’t even know what we’re afraid of. Sometimes we’re just afraid of the unknown. Sometimes we’re afraid of feeling out of control.

[00:24:33] Sometimes we’re afraid of just failing. So I think if we can also redefine, um, our definition of failure, right. Uh, I won’t succeed. I won’t get what I want for, if so, so the way I like to see things that really help me also is when you redefine your definition of failure and success, like if, if, if, if it’s really, if we are souls, And we encounter it into this human experience in order to learn in order to grow in order to evolve.

[00:25:01] And life is a school. That means every experience is part of that curriculum for your soul’s evolution, that in every situation and every goal is a learning opportunity. If we get more committed to the process so that we are more committed to learning on the journey and in the process of the pursuit of our dreams and goals, then I would say, The real success is in the process and the learning and who we become, not in the success or the failure.

[00:25:31] And so I think when we can also reframe success to learning the lessons along the journey, learning the lessons that become more of our authentic self, then that also can take some of the fear away. So if you feel fear and you feel, oh my God, there’s so much. Number one be still and breathe. Just breathe, breathe into the fear.

[00:25:50] You’ll often find fear me is, is on the flip side, is excitement breathe into the fear. And I would even say, take the label, the label off of the feeling that you’re calling fear. Every feeling is just energy. And every feeling has a cycle and every no feeling is permanent and lasts forever. The reason that fear often or a feeling often stays stuck or, or, or, or has a grip on us is because we are busy, suppressing it, denying it or resisting it instead.

[00:26:20] I think it’s important that we breathe into it. We take the label off of the feed. Just experience the sensation, the sensation of the fear, what we were previously labeling as fear, experience that sensation in your body when you experience the sensations of that fear in your body, not as fear, but just as energy, you will begin to find that.

[00:26:44] The less you resist it, the more you are with it, the more you’re just with it, breathing into it. Not trying to get rid of it, not trying to deny it, not trying to suppress it, not showing it, judging it, fighting it, but just being with it and experiencing the sensation of the energy. Of that in quotation, mark fear through your body.

[00:27:02] The natural cycle of that energy of fear will often begin to melt and dissolve naturally. And then it doesn’t have to have a grip on you. It’s natural to feel afraid when you are going somewhere, you haven’t gone before. It’s natural to feel afraid. When you’re going outside of your comfort zone, to me, this is a sign, uh, that you’re growing, but you don’t have to let the fear hijack you or have to get rid of it.

[00:27:30] It’s about cultivating a different relationship with the fear and breathing through that so that you can ki keep expanding and. The last thing I’ll say is sometimes we get over stuck in fear and overwhelmed, which prevents us from taking action because we look at a gold, we look at a dream, we look at something, we want a, a desire that we have, and we see that it’s so big.

[00:27:53] It’s so huge. Like the sense of how the hell am I going to manifest this huge thing? It’s impossible. It’s an impossible task. And then it freaks us out and then we don’t even start. And we sit down on the couch going I’m paralyzed in fear because it seems bigger. It seems so big. Instead, what’s important.

[00:28:09] I tell people, chunk it down, write down every step of the goal, write it down, put it on paper. Because often when you can see all the steps of that vision or that goal or what you need to do, it, it, it, it quantifies it and brings into brings it into tangible reality. When you quantify and you break it down to the steps, then you’re no longer focusing on the entire 700 things, uh, that you have to do in order to accomplish that dream.

[00:28:33] You focus then on what is the next action step? What is the next action step? Okay. Make a phone call. Okay. Most of us, we can do that, but when we focus on the whole task of building that business, it’s scary or send an email. Next action. Step. Next action. Step. Next action. Step. When we chunk it down, that can help us come into the moment and not go into the future fantasy or the negative Fu it doesn’t trigger the mind to go into the negative future fantasy of all the possible things that might go wrong.

[00:29:07] That could happen. That might not happen. That could happen. That may never happen. And most of the things that we project into the future into a negative future fantasy, but often most of it often doesn’t happen. And if it does. Staying in fear and spinning in your mind. Definitely doesn’t solve it. It doesn’t change it, it doesn’t solve it, it doesn’t resolve it.

[00:29:25] And so for me, one of the things I was afraid of was losing my father’s love. And so what helped me move through the fear was feeling the pain. If I’m gonna be specific, it was feeling the pain and, and, and really like letting that pain motivate me and the reality of that. But I had to in advance my greatest fear.

[00:29:46] I had to face my greatest fear and feel my greatest fear and basically make peace with it. We’re so busy resisting. So my greatest fear was, so I asked myself what is my greatest fear that I’ll never have a relationship with my father ever again. That was my, that was my fear in, in the situation. So rather than running from it and denying it, I just faced the head on and I said, okay, if I never have, can I make peace with this fear for four years?

[00:30:12] I couldn’t, but it, I got to the point where I realized, wait a second, can I make peace with this fear? Never having a relationship with my father again, that was painful. But when I fell into the altern, Which was betraying myself for the rest of my life. That was way more painful. So I’m feeling the fear of that pain, but then I had to face my fear and ask myself in the worst case, can I make peace with this?

[00:30:37] And as painful as it was. As heartbreaking as it was, I had to begin a process and this is what helped me. I had to begin a process of letting go and grieving my father. I had to face that and grieve him. And so, so it was like releasing him and grieving him before it even happened. So by the time I had the conversation with my father, I was still somewhat afraid.

[00:31:00] But I had released him, which was my greatest fear. I had released him within my own heart, within my own self. And I had made peace with the fact, I may never have a relationship with him for the rest of my life. And we didn’t for two years, we didn’t for two years. But then years after that, I got to a point where cut a long story short.

[00:31:20] I ended up forgiving my father when I came back, came to the us and we began a relationship. But this time it wasn’t a relationship based on me being what I thought he wanted to be. There was a relationship based. There was a real, authentic relationship based on the foundation of me being authentic. And so make peace with your, make peace, with your greatest fear and ask yourself what’s the worst that can happen.

[00:31:44] Make peace with the worst, but then also ask. What’s the best thing that can happen. Like we’re often so focused on what if it goes wrong? What if it is a disaster? What, what if it went right? What if it went beyond what we could imagine, what then we’re often not focused on what if it turns out more amazing than I could even expect.

[00:32:04] And so I think we have to balance it with making peace with the worst and also being open to it being beyond and better than we can.

[00:32:12] Christine: There’s so much to unpack in that. So I really appreciate you taking that time to talk through all that you went through and learning to breathe into that fear, to embrace it and look at it and say, okay, what, what is the worst case situation?

[00:32:29] What is the best case? And, you know, just focusing on that. Thing that we do, we don’t have to know the outcome. We don’t have to know all the answers. It’s just that next step. Now you have a new book coming out called the magic of surrender. Can you talk a little bit about what that book is about?

[00:32:47] Kute: Yeah.

[00:32:48] The book is about surrender essentially and, uh, you know, I, I, in my experience. I really believe with my whole heart. That surrender was the most powerful thing that we can do that surrender is the key to manifestation is the key to the next level is the secret to, to, to freedom is the passport to freedom.

[00:33:08] When I look at all of the great ones, Jesus bud, again, the mother Teresa Muhammad Ali, Bruce Lee, uh, Martin Luther king. At some point they all surrendered themselves. They all surrendered themselves to. Vision that was bigger than themselves. They also surrendered themselves to a deeper truth. They also surrendered themselves to, to the divine.

[00:33:29] They also surrendered themselves to their souls calling. They also surrendered themselves to life. And in that surrender that letting go, they opened themselves, they transcended their wrong human limitations and they opened themselves to life. They opened themselves to being lived by life. They opened themselves to the universe, and I think that is when the magic happens.

[00:33:49] The book is called the magic. Of surrender and, and so magic is that, which is beyond our egos human limitation and capacity to imagine our life, what is beyond your wildest streams. And so often we don’t realize that we are so attached to what we want or what we think we want or what we think is good for us that we, we don’t realize that sometimes we end up limiting.

[00:34:12] Without attachment to our goal dream desire. When in fact the universe life is seeking to give us something more amazing. And so there’s so many misconceptions about surrender in our culture. We have this idea that surrender is weak, that surrenders pass it. That surrender means giving up that surrender means waving the white flag.

[00:34:30] That surrender means being a victim, being a being taken advantage of that surrender means you’re get left behind that surrender means you won’t desires and that you get less than I’m saying. What if you got more? What if you got more surrender? Is that. Opening to the more. And so it is to let go surrender is to let go of control or the illusion of control.

[00:34:55] Cause we think we’re in control. But I think if the last few years have shown us anything, perhaps shown us, we’re not as in control as we thought. And so surrender is the link of control being the master addiction surrender is when we stop trying to force. Life to fit our limited idea of how we think it should be.

[00:35:12] When we trying to, we stop trying to manipulate life, to fit our limited idea of how we think life should be. When we give up the idea of who we think we should be and how we think our life should be, so that we can just truly open and become fully available, truly available to the authentic life, the authentic expression of how life is seeking to manifest to us.

[00:35:31] So surrender is taking the limits of life. Surrender is and allowing surrender is a letting go. So when there was an openness and an availability to the magic of life, and I think that’s when. That’s when life often unfolds in ways that we cannot even imagine for ourselves. And so that’s what the essence of the book is about.

[00:35:53] Christine: I mean, I think that’s so good and something that is so applicable to our listeners life as military spouses, it’s so easy to hold onto what we wanted, what we wish life would’ve looked like instead. Just letting go because we don’t have control. We don’t have control about where we live, how long we stay somewhere.

[00:36:12] Uh, what opportunities are available to us in our current location. And we can fight that or we can just surrender and let go and open ourselves up to what new possibilities might be available. If we are willing to. The life that we have and make the most of it. So I would love for you to just quickly share, um, how can our listeners connect with you and learn more about you and what you.

[00:36:41] Kute: Sure. Yeah, the listeners can, uh, first they can get the book, the magic of surrender it’s available on paperback. Get the paperback version because here’s the deal. If you get the paperback version, I know, depending on when you listen to this, this, this, uh, uh, this, this podcast. Get the paperback version on Amazon and, uh, you, everyone who does gets to receive a whole bunch of free gifts and you can go to, to access those free gifts.

[00:37:05] You can go to www KuteBlackson just by name Kuteblackson.com/reinvent. Uh, go there, enter your name, your email, and your receipt info. You get access to free gifts and, um, a replay of a special seminar that I. For two hours. So that’s, that’s one, uh, my main website, aon.com, uh, is all, all, has all of my content and schedule.

[00:37:32] Um, let’s see, for those that might want to go on a deep transformational journey, maybe you’ve been inspired by something you’ve heard. Uh, twice a year. I do a very, very special event in Bali. It’s called boundless bliss. Uh, so www boundless bliss. Dot com you can find out all the details there. Instagram, Facebook keep relaxing.

[00:37:56] I have a podcast, soul talk I’m available there.

[00:38:00] Christine: Well, thank you so much for joining us today. This is gonna be one of those episodes that people go back to listen over and over again, because there’s so much value packed inside this. Thank you so much for joining us. Thanks for having me. Okay. Friends. I hope you got so much value out of that.

[00:38:16] Even if you don’t agree with everything that Kute has to say, there are so many nuggets of wisdom baked into what he said that applies to our lives as military spouse. The thing I want you to really sit with today is really diving into this self-awareness and asking yourself the three questions that Kute shared with us.

[00:38:41] Number one, what lies am I telling myself right now? Number two, what am I pretending to not know? And number three, what is it really costing? Just sit with those questions for a few minutes and see what comes up for you. And if you’re saying to yourself, I’m so tired of not being clear on my purpose. I’m so tired of telling myself that I’m confused and that I can’t take action.

[00:39:13] If you are ready to stop blaming your situation in your. Circumstances for where you are and you’re ready to start getting that clarity today. If you are ready to have the framework, that’s going to help you identify your sweet spot and how you can truly live a meaningful life. As a military spouse today, the mill spouse purpose playbook is for you and each lesson.

[00:39:41] And each module is gonna take you on this journey to help you identify who you are, what you really want in life, what your life. Purposes and how you began to pursue that today, regardless of where you are stationed, regardless of what season of life you are in. I want you to know that you don’t have to wait for some future season to chase your dreams.

[00:40:07] There is no grasses greener on the other side, wait till some future season, and then you can live a life of purpose. It is possible today. And all you have to do to get started to jump inside. The milspouse purpose playbook is to go to more than a mill spouse.com because friend, you are more than a mill spouse.

[00:40:29] You have something to offer that the world needs, and it’s up to you to step into a life with purpose today, I will have all the links that Kute shared in the show notes, as well as the link to his podcast. Soul talk with Kute Blackson his newest book is out now the magic of surrender. So go check that out in your favorite book seller, have an amazing week friends. And until next time may you live filled, fueled, and full of joy.