How to master consistency as a military spouse

How to Master Consistency as a Milspouse

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How To Be Consistent as a Milspouse

In a Lifestyle that feels inconsistent and uncertain

You have a goal. To launch the business. To run the half marathon. To write the book. To lose the weight. To open the Etsy shop. To start the blog.

So you take action. You start the thing.  You ride the wave of motivation for the first few days or weeks. You’re feeling good.  But then life happens. your spouse goes on a trip. The kids get sick. You need to take the car in to be serviced, and you end up spending a full at the car repair shop.

How in the world do you master the skill of consistency as a military spouse, when your world feels so inconsistent and uncertain?

This week we’re celebrating the two-year anniversary of the MilSpouse Mastermind Show. And I’m sharing three things that have helped me show up consistently on this podcast for the last two years (even in the middle of an OCONUS PCS), and that I believe will be key to your success in mastering consistency as a milspouse.

MENTIONS

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DESIGN A LIFE YOU LOVE: https://milspousemastermind.com/growthwheel

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UNSTUCK COACHING: milspousemastermind.com/unstuck

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How to master consistency as a military spouse

EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION

[00:00:00] Christine: You have a goal to launch the business, to run the half marathon, to write the book, to lose the weight, to open the Etsy shop, to start the blog. . And so you create your plan. You start, you ride that wave of motivation for the first few days or weeks. You’re feeling good about it, but then life happens.

[00:00:23] Your spouse goes on a trip, the kids get sick. You need to take the car in to be serviced, and it ends up costing you a whole day in the car repair shop. That new habit, that goal, that plan you. a day, you lose your momentum. The novelty wears off. The appointment gets scheduled. For the only time you had to focus on your side hustle this week and that thing, that goal, that plan, you stop being consistent.

[00:00:54] How in the world do we develop this Skill of consistency as military spouses. Today, I’ve got three tips for you that are vital to your success in this area. So what do you say? Let’s dive into the show.

Celebrating Two Years of the MilSpouse Mastermind Show

[00:02:03] Oh my goodness, you guys, this is it. Welcome to the two year anniversary of the MilSpouse Mastermind Show. Absolutely something I could not fathom two years ago that we would be here at this two-year mark celebrating together. Over 134 episodes of the podcast every week. I have shown up without fail at least once a week, sometimes releasing two episodes a week.

[00:02:30] But I was thinking about, okay, number one, how do we celebrate? This milestone together because this is not just me sitting behind a microphone. This is me helping us build a community of supportive military spouses. So number one, how do we celebrate that milestone? And number two, Where do we go from here?

How do you develop the skill of consistency as a military spouse?

[00:02:53] And specifically, what do I want to share with you as we reach this two year milestone? And, and really what kept coming back to me as I was thinking through this was this idea of consistency because it’s something that I hear often in the military spouse world, this idea that it is so, Difficult to be consistent, to show up for anything consistently because there is so much uncertainty and inconsistency baked into this lifestyle.

[00:03:25] And so often we don’t know, our spouse might get tapped for. A last minute, T d y or a deployment, we don’t know necessarily how long they’re gonna be gone, when they’re gonna be back. If we’re going to have families close by or support structures put in place, we may be living on the other side of the world.

[00:03:47] It may be difficult to find childcare or to find meaningful. Employment. There’s a lot that we don’t know, and that seems to keep us on our toes and seems to keep us from feeling like we can actually pursue our own goals and dreams because we don’t feel like we can show up consistently. Perhaps you want to start that coaching business, but you’re not sure that you can be consistent in having time to meet with clients.

[00:04:15] Maybe you wanna open that Etsy shop, but you’re not sure that you’re gonna be able to be consistent at fulfilling the orders that come in and getting things sent out in a timely manner. , perhaps you wanna write that book, but you can’t seem to carve out the time to actually get your thoughts and ideas down on paper on a regular basis.

[00:04:36] Maybe your goal is just to finally lose the baby weight, but trying to work out consistently feels so hard because your kids aren’t necessarily taking a consistent nap anymore, or you are getting up early to try to get that workout in and then your kids just wake up that much earlier. There’s all sorts of things that try to keep us from doing the thing, from chasing the dream, from pursuing the goal, and the one thing that we will hear over and over and over again.

[00:05:11] Just be consistent. You need to be consistent. If you wanna build your following on social media, be consistent. Post consistently. If you wanna build your business, be consistent, show up consistently. Okay, so we know consistency is key, but how do we actually do it as a military spouse when our schedule feels all over the place?

[00:05:34] I know that this is something that constantly at the back of my mind as I’m trying. Plan out my week and I don’t always know ahead of time if my husband is going to be able to help with getting the kids where they need to go. If there is a random holiday at the school or they are have a different release time for a particular week, or a kid gets sick, who is the one that is always going to be there?

Consistency is a very real struggle for military spouses

[00:06:06] Staying home, taking care of the family, taking care of what needs to happen. And so as all of these responsibilities get placed on us, we sometimes struggle to do the things that we really want to do to show up and do the thing consistently. I understand this very real struggle, and at the same time, when I reflect back on the last two years and the fact that I was able to release an episode every single week for you guys for two full years, even in the midst of an overseas OCONUS PCS.

Consistency is Possible for You

[00:06:43] The ability to keep showing up even in those challenging and difficult seasons goes back to one thing, learning how to be consistent in times of chaos and change. And so that’s what I really want us to have a conversation about today because I want you to understand that whatever the thing is on your heart, the thing.

[00:07:06] Lights you on fire that you want to do, and yet you’re scared to step into because you’re afraid you won’t be able to be consistent with it. I want to give you the freedom to take your next step to say, I might not be able to do everything I want to do, but I can show up consistently. I want you to believe that this is possible for you and to be able to borrow.

[00:07:33] Belief. When we see someone else able to do that thing, it opens up our minds the possibility that that might be an option for us as well. I was listening to a podcast the other day and he was talking about achieving this big goal in his company, and he wasn’t sure he was going to be able to do this goal, but three weeks before, This other colleague had achieved that goal and it made him stop and think, if she can do it, then I can do it too.

[00:08:14] It wasn’t that nobody’s ever done this before, so we don’t think this is possible. But the shift in our brain that happens when we see someone else achieve something. And to be able to take that and say, if they can do it, I can do it too. And sometimes we take the opposite approach and we say, They did that.

[00:08:37] They must be different from me. There’s something about them and their life that is not true of me and my life. And I think this happens a lot of times when we look at what somebody has done who is not a military spouse. And when we say my life is so different from their lives. So I could not do that. I could not show up in that manner.

[00:09:00] And so I think it’s important for us to be able to look at someone else who. Yet similar life experience, who is living the military lifestyle, who is moving frequently, who is going through all of these very normal challenges and to say they did it, and it is possible for me too. So I wanna go give you three really important tips for finding consistency in your own life so that you can actually go after the dream that is on your.

Celebrating the  Two-Year Anniversary of the MilSpouse Mastermind Show + GIVEAWAY!!

[00:09:35] but. Before we get into all of that, what is an anniversary without some kind of celebration. And so I was thinking, how do we celebrate this milestone for the MilSpouse Mastermind show? How do we help continue to build this community so that this message that you can reclaim your life in dreams, that you do not have to wait for some future season to chase those dreams and that it is possible for you.

[00:10:04] To craft a life with purpose so that you can trade that frustration for fulfillment and that isolation for a life of impact. I want every military spouse to feel empowered, and that is why this show exists. And so as I was thinking about how do we celebrate this milestone, what can we do? I love a good giveaway.

[00:10:28] And so for the entire month of March, we. A giveaway going on to celebrate the two year anniversary of the show. I will be giving away. And I’ll access pass to my signature course, the MilSpouse Purpose Playbook, which will help you get clarity on what it is that lights you up, how you can use your skills and your gifts to create income and impact, and how you began to.

[00:10:58] Figure out how to set your life and your schedule up so that you can sustainably pursue purpose with and live with more meaning and less overwhelm in your life. I’m also throwing in a free coaching session to go along with that course. So as you are going through the course material and you feel like, Hey, I need some additional coaching in this area that is available to you.

[00:11:25] I would love for you to enter this giveaway by leaving a review of the podcast on Apple Podcast, and let me just tell you why this is so important. Podcast reviews for Apple iTunes in particular matter because of the algorithm. This determines what shows are recommended to you as a podcast listener. So we want to share the word that these resources exist.

[00:11:58] For you and for our military spouse community. This is what I wish I would’ve had to listen to as a new military spouse to believe that something different was possible. That even though my life might not look and might not go the way that I originally envisioned, that there was a life of meaning and purpose that was.

[00:12:21] For me, so please help us share the word about the podcast by telling your friends and by leaving a show review on Apple Podcast. All you have to do is write us a quick review of the show and then let me know that you’ve left one either by screenshotting it and sharing it on social and tagging me or by posting it in our free Facebook.

[00:12:46] If you don’t know how to leave a podcast review, I will have instructions in the show notes below. So just check that out, and I cannot wait to get the feedback from you guys to celebrate with you this month. I have a goal of hitting a hundred reviews by the end of the year, so everything that you can do to leave a review makes a huge difference and helps me reach that.

3 Tips for Mastering Consistency in your Life and Business as a Military Spouse

3 Truths About Consistency

[00:13:12] All right, so today we are talking about consistency, and I want to give you three truths about consistency and then three keys to success when it comes to consistency. Okay, so let’s start with these three truths that I think it’s important for us to understand. Number one, consistency is not about grain gestures or quick results.

  1. Consistency is a learned habit

[00:13:38] Consistency is a learned habit and it focuses on the long run, how you are showing up, not what the outcome of your actions. It’s about incremental progress over a long period of time. So if you were looking for quick wins, quick successes, this is not what consistency is about. Consistency is about how we show up.

  1. Life will always interrupt you

[00:14:06] The second truth about consistency is that no matter how consistent you are, It is inevitable that life will interrupt you at some point. So if we keep hoping that life is gonna turn out perfect, then we’re. Setting ourselves up for disappointment because no matter how hard you try, life is going to interrupt you at some point.

  1. If you master consistency, you can master anything

[00:14:31] So we can either stay frustrated by that fact, or we can accept that fact. The third truth to recognize with consistency is if you are able to master consistency, you can master anything. Because consistency is what forms the basis of our habits, our actions, how we show up day in and day out. All of that comes down to our ability to show.

Why do we struggle with consistency?

[00:15:01] In a consistent manner. So why do we struggle with consistency? Well, we’ve already talked about a lot of the reasons that we struggle because of life circumstances, because of the uncertainty of our life. We struggle with consistency because we don’t necessarily have the. Support systems in place. We don’t have those structures that help us show up day in and day out.

[00:15:28] So there’s all sorts of reasons that make showing up consistently hard. So then how do we develop consistency as military spouses? And I wanna walk you through three keys to finding success in this area. And the first one goes back to setting that goal. You have to have something that you are working towards, or you will not have a sense of direction.

3 Keys to Mastering Consistency as a Milspouse

  1. Commit to the right goal

[00:15:54] You will not make a whole lot of progress if you do not have a well defined goal. Something that you are working towards. The thing with goals is so often we talk about having these big, hairy, audacious goals, and sometimes that doesn’t line up with our lifestyle with what is actually going on in our life.

[00:16:17] And so instead of having that, Big goal. I, I’m never gonna tell you not to have big goals, but I am gonna tell you that if you are gonna actually try to show up in a consistent manner, moving towards a goal, it has to be something that is doable for the season of life that you are in. And sometimes that means saying, I cannot do all of these other things in this season because I am focused on this one task.

[00:16:45] I. Last fall after we moved about the process of trying to be consistent in the middle of an OCONUS PCS as we are moving from one overseas location to another overseas location and living without our staff four months on end. and the big question for me was how do I keep showing up in the season where I don’t have childcare, I don’t have so many of these support structures in place to help me show up and have time to do the things that matter.

[00:17:20] To me and and to be able to look at all of the goals, all of the dreams, all of the things on my plate, and say, what is it that I can do in this season? What can I commit to and what can I not commit to? And for me, that looks like. Okay, I’m going to commit to releasing a podcast episode every single week in the middle of this crazy season of life.

[00:17:45] I am not going to commit to showing up on social media on a regular basis. I am not going to commit to sending out a weekly email or ke even keeping up with our Facebook community the way I want to because what is the one thing that I can commit to being consistent with in this season? So make that goal doable.

[00:18:08] Figure out what you can commit to, and then make a commitment to it. The second piece of setting that goal is really tying it to a why, understanding why you are continuing to show up. Because if you don’t know why you’re doing something, then you’re probably not going to stick with it. So you need to figure out what you’re going to do, what is actually doable, why it matters.

[00:18:31] Make that commitment to the goal. So number one is creating that goal. What are you going to be consistent with? Number two is your plan. You’ve got to plan ahead, especially if you know that life is going to get crazy over the next few months. As I am sitting here recording this episode at the end of February, I am already looking ahead to summer and realizing, My kids are gonna be out of school.

  1. Plan Ahead

[00:19:02] What am I going to do? How am I going to set up our schedule, our routines? What am I going to prioritize this summer and what am I going to put off until I have more time? Until they are back at school? Now if you have littles that are with you 24 7, you may not have those particular types of seasons, but you may be able to look ahead and say, Hey, I know my husband’s going to be deployed in six months, and so what do I want to start setting ourselves, our family up so that I can have success when he’s gone?

[00:19:39] Or maybe you have a baby on the way and you’re trying to look and plan ahead and say, When the baby gets here, I’m going to have all of my time and energy focused on that. So what can I do now to set myself up for success? And at the end of the day, I will always tell you, it goes back to your daily and weekly schedule, and as much as you can do to work ahead, depending on.

[00:20:09] it is that you are after. This is gonna look a little bit different. So for example, for me, when I knew last summer that we were PCSing, I was able to batch a lot of episodes in advance so that I wasn’t scrambling at the last minute to try to figure out how am I going to record when we’re living out of.

[00:20:28] Hotels, and sometimes those things do happen, but as much as I could prepare to plant and plan ahead and batch in advance so that I had that margin, that time in my schedule. So what does that look like? For you and for the dream that is on your heart. If you are starting a business and you’re putting all those pieces in place and you say, I can work on the next five steps, and then I’m gonna take a break, and then in two months from now I’m gonna be able to go back to it.

[00:21:02] Or you say, I can get steps one through five done now, and over that two months where life’s gonna be a little different and I’m, and I’m not gonna have the same amount of time. I’m gonna only get this one. Other step done. And so you’re still making consistent progress. You’re not just making as much progress as quickly.

[00:21:24] And I know this can be difficult when we want to see that progress. We want to see success, but our goal is to make this sustainable for the long run. Two, keep us moving in the right direction because when we stop doing the. , it’s so much harder to get back going again versus being able to take consistent steps in the right direction, even if those steps feel like tiny tweaks and baby steps.

  1. Just Keep Swimming

[00:21:57] So number one is our goal, figuring out what we can be consistent with. Number two is planning ahead. And the third key to your success in your ability to be consistent with the thing that you were trying to do is to just keep swimming. This is all about showing. Day in and day out. I love the Finding Nemo movie and there’s just this idea of, you know, some seasons of life are just tough and all we can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other.

[00:22:31] We just keep swimming. And I know this is easier said than done, so how do we just keep swimming? Let me just quickly give you five things to remember to help you to just keep swimming. Number one, accept that life happens and, and that no matter how hard we try, Things are going to happen, and that’s just part of the process.

5 Mantras To Help You Achieve Consistency (And be Persistent)

[00:22:54] The second thing to remember is to focus on showing up and getting the reps in, not on what the results of your actions are. When we start to get focused on results, that’s where we really struggle with comparison. We struggle. Feelings of failure. We have all of these other things that come when we take our eyes off, what they should be on, which is what we should be doing, and we take those eyes and we put it on the results.

[00:23:22] Because what truly matters is how you show up, not what happens because of that. So focus on getting those reps in. The third thing to remember is to never miss twice. So we’ve already said that life is going to happen. You’re going to miss your days. You’re going to miss doing the thing you’re supposed to do.

[00:23:44] don’t let that become your new norm. Don’t let that become your reality. If your goal is to work out three days a week and you miss a day, that’s okay, but the next week, get back to working out three times that week. Don’t let that one miss ruin your whole goal. Never missed twice, whenever. Fourth thing is to build your support system.

[00:24:10] Now, I know we have crazy lives, and sometimes it feels like we don’t have the support structures in place, but as much as you can surround yourself with people who will cheer you on, who will support you, go out there, find the podcast, find the books, find the motivational quotes, whatever you need to remind yourself to keep going when the going gets hard.

[00:24:32] That’s why this podcast exists. That’s why. Free Facebook community exists because we need each other. We are better together, and we were never meant to do life alone. So find the support systems, the things that keep you motivated and keep you taking action. And then the last piece, To just keep swimming is to let go of perfection.

[00:24:56] I know it’s really hard to do sometimes to just say, okay, this is good enough. When you want to create the amazing thing, and this is something that, a lesson that I continually learn over and over again to let go of perfection and to just focus on consistency because it’s really getting in. That’s going to make a difference in the long run.

[00:25:21] If you consistently show up and you master the consistency part, you’ll be able to master anything. Consistency is a habit. It’s incremental progress. But the last thing to remember as we talk about consistency is what happens when we are consistent. We can see massive results, but it comes not from focusing on the results, but from putting in the reps, doing that hard work, showing up when the going.

[00:25:53] Tough. So just remember, make sure you have a goal that that goal is doable, that you tie that to Goal to a Y, that you are able to as. as possible. Plan ahead. Work on the schedule your, your ability to batch things. So much comes down to what we choose to prioritize on a daily and weekly basis. And we like to look at this big picture thing, but it ultimately comes down to how we approach.

[00:26:24] Every week and every single day and make the most of every day. And then the last piece is just keep swimming. I hope that this episode inspires and encourages you that even if you are in this place where you feel discouraged by not feeling like you can do the thing that you will begin to believe.

What’s Possible for You if You Take Action?

[00:26:47] That this is possible for you and that there is something that you can be consistent with today that is going to pay off in the long run. Because if you make 1% progress today and tomorrow and the next day and the next day, think about how much farther along you will be a year from now, two years from now, five years from now, than if you sat.

[00:27:14] For the next five years, waiting for your season, waiting for that time when you feel like you can finally take action on the thing. It all comes down to what we choose to do today, and there is something, there is a next step, there is an action. There is something that you can do. To and be consistent with today.

[00:27:36] So have an amazing week, friends. Thank you for being a part of this community. Thank you for two years of showing up and really making life better for military spouses, for us, learning how to thrive and how to live with purpose and embrace the life we have. Until next time, may you. Filled, fueled, and full of joy.

How to master consistency as a military spouse
How to master consistency as a military spouse
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