That’s the question that I woke up asking myself.
Did I do enough to get myself mentally healthy?
Did I connect with hubs enough?
Did I do enough self-care to be a better, more present mom?
Perhaps it was indicative of just how stress-filled my life has become.
Hubs and I recently snuck away to celebrate our 10-year anniversary (a few months late). We had been planning a big trip for a few years, but when it came down to it, we both realized that we needed to do something that would force us to rest.
And so with the generous help of my mother-in-law who volunteered to stay with all three littles, hubs and I headed out for a week at an all-inclusive resort.
We enjoyed the sunshine, warm weather, scenic ocean views and I, in particular, enjoyed not being responsible for any other human beings.
It was a trip that we both needed. And yet it was eye-opening at the same time.
About a year and a half ago I read the book The Sacred Enneagram by Chris Heuertz (which is currently free for Kindle if you have Amazon Prime!). He talks about the need to make space in our lives for regular rhythms of health – rest, reflection, recreation and renewal. If we don’t incorporate these rhythms, we end up needing recovery.
I tried to squeeze all four of these rhythms into one trip. I wanted to rest. I wanted time to reflect and gain clarity on my goals. I wanted to connect with hubs. I wanted to have fun and explore. And I wanted to leave feeling refreshed and renewed.
In reality it was more of a recovery trip than I anticipated. After all, there’s only so much that can be accomplished in one week.
We made an intentional decision to sacrifice on recreation. Hubs and I both love adventuring together and seeing new sights. There is a part of me that’s sad I didn’t get to spend more time exploring the island. But we knew that we both desperately needed time for rest and reconnection.
But I don’t think it really hit me until I woke up that last day just how much in need of recovery we were.
“Have I done enough?” stemmed from the fact that I know what it feels like to be in a healthy place. I have experienced that feeling of waking up refreshed and ready to engage with the world. And I know that when I am healthy, I am a better mom, better spouse and a better friend.
And yet, the last year and a half have depleted my reserves. It was definitely time for a reset.
So how did I do?
As I sit here reflecting a few weeks later, I am still struggling with stress. A good chunk of that comes from the intense current season of life I am in (work + volunteer commitments + hubs promotion ceremony + getting ready to list the house for sale + a potential move??). A lot of things need to happen in a very short time frame and I am stretched to the max.
I definitely came back from my trip straight into the fire. On the days where I am feeling discouraged, I keep reminding myself that even though there will be other projects that pop up, this is a specific season of hustle that does have an end point.
All of this to say that learning to balance health and wellness is not simply something that can be completed and checked off a list. It’s a practice.
Learning to balance health and wellness is not simply something that can be completed and checked off a list.
It’s learning what fuels me with life and what does not. It’s figuring out what I can do with the limited time that I have available to me. It’s trying, failing, getting up and trying again. It’s figuring out what works in this specific season. And then starting a new season and figuring it out all over again.
It’s a lifestyle of intentional choices that leads us to become a healthier version of ourselves, so that we can make a difference in the world.
If you are in a place where you currently feel depleted, you are not alone. You are not the first to struggle with this. And you certainly won’t be the last.
But I guarantee, if you continue to pursue a journey of personal health and growth, you will make progress.
Learning what holds us back, learning how to flourish, learning how to lead and influence others is a process. We cannot control our circumstances, but we can control how we choose to respond to those circumstances and we can be intentional with how we engage with the world around us.
We will fail, and when we do, we will choose to either stay down and let life happen or get up again and learn from our failures.
We will fail, and when we do, we will choose to either stay down and let life happen or get up again and learn from our failures.
To me, knowing that I’m going to fail and fall short, that I’m going to get knocked down, and that I can learn from those experiences is actually incredibly freeing. I don’t have to worry about trying to do it perfectly or not make mistakes. I know I will get it wrong plenty of times.
In my next post, I’ll share more about my journey to becoming a healthier version of myself and what I do to incorporate self-care in my life. (Spoiler alert: it doesn’t involve trips to the spa or long leisurely lunches…I’m a mama with three littles). Yes, having a 10-year anniversary trip is a helpful reset, but that only happens once. It’s the daily choices that matter much more!
Do you struggle to incorporate healthy rhythms that fuel and fill you with life? What has worked for you?
