It’s been just over a month of having three littles under
the age of four. Some days I feel like I’m starting to get my groove back.
Other days it just feels like pure chaos.
I’ve let some things slide. I haven’t stayed on top of all the things. The
house isn’t as clean as I would like it to be. And I haven’t given each child
the attention they deserve.
But since baby girl #3 arrived, the one thing that I have been reminded of over and over again is that MINDSET MATTERS. If I approach each day with the idea that I’m probably not going to be able to do all the things and I give myself grace, I handle the day better. When I let the stress get to me, things go downhill quickly.
The fact is that on most days there is at least one child crying more often than not. How will I respond to the extra acting out, the fighting between my older two children, the constant need for attention?
“Me time” looks a lot different in this season. Self-care is hard when others need you 24-7. But again and again my response begins with my mind.
It reminds me a little of my first time in labor. I was determined to have a “natural” birth. Long story short, I labored for almost 25 hours with primarily back labor, before getting an epidural. If you’ve never experienced back labor before, let’s just say I wouldn’t wish it on an-y-one.
During that period of intense pain, the only thing that got me through was staying on top of the pain. I had to anticipate it, and prepare my mind to handle the waves of pain headed my way. I also had to focus on just the next contraction. As soon as I would begin to think too far ahead or lose focus, the pain only got worse.
In the same way, I have to prepare myself for the situations and the waves of emotions that come my way. My older kiddos are going to fight. My middle child will act out to get more attention. My oldest will tell me she prefers daddy to me because he can spend time with her. My baby will cry unless I’m holding her. And on top of that, my hormones are all over the place.
However, if I anticipate these things, I can better prepare myself to respond to each situation with understanding and grace. When I am not mentally prepared, I let the emotions of frustration and discouragement wash over me.
Mindset matters. Do I view this as a season to be endured? Or do I view this as a season that is growing me and my character? Do I view my children as draining my emotions? Or do I view them as treasures that have been entrusted to me to train up?
I was convicted of this truth the other day. While I’ve done a pretty good job of keeping my emotions in check this post-partum period, I am guilty of wishing to get to the next season, instead of being fully present in my current season of life.
I came across an article recently that discussed the incredible opportunity we have as parents to raise up children who are the next generation and will do amazing things. And yet, my focus is often so short-sighted. Instead of seeing what I am doing as preparing my children to face the future and become thriving adults, I often focus on how many hours until bedtime or until the next feeding. Oh, that I would stay focused on the WHY – the big picture.
This doesn’t mean that I don’t look forward to my children’s bedtime or a season of life that is not all-encompassing. But it does mean that I still need to show up and honor the season of struggle and embrace the challenge. It does mean that I ask myself, “What can I be learning through this? How is this growing my character? How can I embrace the long days when I’m tired?”
There are days I do this well. And there are days I totally miss the mark. But every day is a new day! And thankfully, the goal is progress, not perfection!
On the journey with you!
Christine